Psyched Out? question for Jason F and Tailwinds-and others

[hybridbellbaske]

My surgeon has given me the go ahead to get back on the bike since my clavicle surgery a few weeks ago- trainer first and then back out on the road.

I was dropping off to sleep two nights ago when my mind replayed my crash and I woke bolt upright...Now, my little crash in a paceline (mostly my fault and no-one else came down) is obviously small beer compared to some cycling incidents- but I must say I am a bit nervous about getting back on the horse that bucked me off.

Jason F- your incident was awesome- in the true sense of that word- and I am full of admiration for your toughness and resilience (and that of your wife)in recovering so well. How did you do it? Were you psyched out for a while?

Tailwinds- are you riding again, or are waiting for your new Kirk?

I hope these questions don't open up any old wounds- they are not meant to be offensive or intrusive- I am genuinely interested in others cope with the thought of crashing again.

BTW- my recent trip to the Great Barrier Reef was magical. Just like being in a 3D version of Finding Nemo... and Climb- are you back from Sydney yet?- I did NOT set off any metal detectors at the airport!

[Fixed]

bro if you ride you will crash again but you don't always get hurt bad cheers

I was hit by a car in July 2001. I had to have arthoscopic shoulder surgery and rehab. I was off the bike for 3 months. By that time, I was itching to get back on. The only problem I had was while I was on sick leave and watching the TdF. Every time there was a crash, I would cringe and relive my crash.

[JasonF]

Hybridbellbaske,

Thank you for your kind words.

Like most of the folks on this board, cycling was always a big part of my life. Even after I took 8 years off to complete law school and work for a large firm in NYC, I always thought that I would bike again, even if I had to wait for retirement.

Right after our accident, I was itching to get back on the bike. I had 6 surgeries in total, and I was on crutches for 4 months, so I had to wait. As the weeks went by after the accident, I started to have nightmares about the accident, just like you. Almost every night, at the moment I was about to drift off, I would be jolted by the image of the cement truck's grill hitting me head-on. Fortunately, we have a close family friend who is a psychiatrist. Instead of prescribing medication to calm me, he suggested that I come in and try to "metaboloize" the fear and anger I felt. After a few sessions of screaming, crying, etc... on his couch I haven't had a bad night sleep since 2002. In fact, I've come to realize that getting hit was one of the best gifts I've ever received, as I now appreciate my family and enjoy life like I never did before. I definitely try not to sweat the small stuff, even though I'm a type-A person.

Anyway, as time wore on I didn't want to bike anymore. My physical therapist is an avid cyclist, and he couldn't even get me on an exercise bike to work my knee.

Something happened this spring, and I decided to get a 'cross bike as there are nice towpaths to ride around here which are closed to traffic. The first few rides were painful, but fun. One day, I decided to veer off the trail and ride on the road. It's weird, but I felt a freedom in that I wasn't being held hostage by my fears. Riding was fun because I was just enjoying the fresh air, not worrying about average speed, distance, HR, etc...I think what happened this spring is that I like biking, and I missed it.

It took years, not months for me to screw up the courage and go for a ride. Start small, by going around your block a few times. It's great to be able to talk about it and you can give me a call (pm me for the number) if you'd like to chat. What I love about Fixed is that he can say in 15 words what has taken me about 500 - accidents do happen but you'll enjoy riding much more if, at your own pace, you ride when you can.

Good luck, and most importantly, I'm glad you're recovering well.
Jason

[Ginger]

You didn't call me out, but here I am.

After getting broadsided by a car on my motorcycle in 2000 I couldn't hardly walk across a parkinglot with a moving car in it without freaking out. That took a while to get over.

I think JasonF's psychiatrist approach would have been helpful. If you have issues with seeing a doc about it, don't think of it as "getting help", think of it as investing in yourself and your own well being.

My return to riding on the road involved inviting some of my friends with steady wheels who knew my situation and knew I wanted to get back to the road but that I would be going at an easy pace at first (no hammer fest to start). Pick a few of your riding buddies who you KNOW have steady wheels, invite them out for a coffee ride, ask them not to bring anyone else. Ride where you're comfortable. Don't ask yourself to jump in too deep until you're ready because you see...if you're sitting in a paceline freaking out you're not apt to be a very steady rider...(yes, it's always about the rest of us...) I didn't start riding in group rides until I was confident that my accident wouldn't affect my bike handling at all. You may choose differently.

Good luck!

[Tailwinds]

Originally Posted by Ginger

I think JasonF's psychiatrist approach would have been helpful. If you have issues with seeing a doc about it, don't think of it as "getting help", think of it as investing in yourself and your own well being.

I agree with what Ginger and JasonF said 200%. It sounds like you have post-traumatic stress disorder, which is normal after what you've been through. I am no doc -- I've only been helped greatly by them in the past 2 1/2 yrs. My sports psychologist is a godsend.

My injuries from my recent accident absolutely PALE in comparison to my injuries I suffered 2 1/2 yrs. ago... ironic how a car vs. bike wreck was less severe than my bike vs. dog wreck.

I won't lie -- I was scared getting back on the bike after that first wreck. My desire to ride again always won out in the battle going on in my head (ride, don't ride?), though. To be honest, I still consider the risks everytime I throw my leg over the top tube of my bike to go for a ride. In the end, I have to LIVE MY LIFE, and cycling, to me, is an important part of that. I feel cycling has provided more "good" in my life than "bad," even considering the injuries.

Some things are different now. I haven't raced since the first accident (even though that accident was on a recovery ride). I miss it, and I might race again... but I try not to dwell on it. I can now ride just for the fun of it... when it used to be so structured and every ride had a purpose (recovery ride, Zone 2, Zone 4-5 intervals, yada, yada, yada). The basic passion for cycling is still there, though, and I'm probably a more balanced person now that my life doesn't revolve around racing. I appreciate walking. I appreciate everyday I wake up. I know I am blessed.

I am riding again since the 2nd accident, and I am waiting on my new Kirk at the same time. I won't say that I don't cringe sometimes when a car approaches me a certain way, whether I'm on my bike or just walking, but I always had a healthy respect for and fear of cars before this accident.

TIME made things easier for me. Every ride is progress.

I tried to keep this kinda short. If you want to talk more about this, PM me. I have much more I could say. I know it helps to talk to people who've "been there." That's why MaryAnn and I spent so long on the phone yesterday. Listen to MaryAnn's advice.

[Tailwinds]

Originally Posted by JohnS

I was hit by a car in July 2001. I had to have arthoscopic shoulder surgery and rehab. I was off the bike for 3 months. By that time, I was itching to get back on. The only problem I had was while I was on sick leave and watching the TdF. Every time there was a crash, I would cringe and relive my crash.

I was rehabbing, doing a trainer ride, when Beloki had that horrible crash in the TdF. I actually CRIED when I saw it, and I don't cry easily. It looked like what my crash must have looked like.

My heart goes out to you all. mike

[Fixed]

Originally Posted by Tailwinds

I was rehabbing, doing a trainer ride, when Beloki had that horrible crash in the TdF. I actually CRIED when I saw it, and I don't cry easily. It looked like what my crash must have looked like.

I cried too cheers

[hybridbellbaske]

Thanks very much all who responded. I feel a bit humbled by the sincerity and helpfulness of you all. I don't think my little crash quite rates up there with other obviously more serious injuries.

Sorry Ginger- how could I have forgotten your "incidents". I recall them now, but they were'nt fresh in my mind when I posted this question.

I will try half an hour on the trainer tonight with a view to getting out on the road for a short ride on the weekend.

By the way- my forum name should be "Hybridbellbasket", but that is too long and the "t" gets cut off. Do you remember the old Maynard Hershon story about the bike shop employee showing an expensive bike to a customer and thinking to himself "This bike is way too nice for this guy- he should be riding a hybrid with a bell and a basket"-Well, I am that customer!