Hate your bike shop?

[Dude]

So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

[rugbysecondrow]

Originally Posted by Dude

So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

[batman1425]

I was at a local shop a couple weeks back to get a freewheel removed. Another patron walks in while I'm waiting for the mechanic who wanted a horn for his commuter bike. He proceeded to honk every horn they had about 40 times each, comparing tones. This whole escapade took him a solid 10 minutes of continuous honking. The look on the shop guys faces were priceless. After the first 10 honks, each one looked like they wanted to take a bat to the guy, but they just smiled and asked if he needed any help. His was response, "no I'm just trying to decided which one".

Priceless.


Edit: The guy did end up buying one.

[DerekB]

Dude, I really hope you are riding more than ringing our poor local shops' (plural intended) bells!!!!
How are things?

[false_Aest]

I worked at a Performance for 3 years in HS. Everyone there knew it was a joke. Everything was a joke.

So we'd call the other Performance stores and try to pull **** on them.

One store had a grand opening and was giving away free pumps. We got the girl at the shop to call and ask about the quality of the pump. If it'd pump up car tires, basketballs, etc. Asked the dude to hold it for her. Took 2 minutes of girl-whining to get him to do it. Then she asked if she could return it for store credit if it didn't match her bike.

----

Other things:

Ask to talk to the store manager. Describe how you just purchased a bike and while riding along the stem pulled off and you crashed.

Another P store did that to our manager. I've never seen someone's look so scared.

[biker72]

Originally Posted by rugbysecondrow

Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

In the Navy we had them look for relative bearing oil.....

[firerescuefin]

Originally Posted by rugbysecondrow

Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

.....or prop wash .....we would also send guys outside with IR camera when base ops would announce lightning watch...that was funny to watch...and very hard to keep a straight face when assigning.

[toytech]

In high school auto shop the standard was to send the newb to the tool room to look for a roll of pipe thread.
At the dealership I work at we send new hires to the office for their turkey voucher

[A1CKot]

Originally Posted by biker72

In the Navy we had them look for relative bearing oil.....

We send them to support and have them get us some K9-P. Or the old "go get the key to the jet."

[majorpat]

Send the new kid to the Sgt Maj and ask for the PRC-E9

[gdw]

At Ft Bragg we'd send the obnoxious new guys to battalion to ask the Sgt Major for the keys to the drop zone before a jump.

[jr59]

Ask them for a sock count. Then ask how many left and right socks, because the customers sometimes mismatched them!

[pakora]

A classic in a kitchen line is to to ask a kid who's never worked in a kitchen for bags of steam for the steam table.

I've seen dishwashers asked to do inventory, finish in 5 minutes, and then get asked, "hey great since you did that so fast can you do ice now?" and point to the ice machine. I watched one guy on his first day stand there staring into the ice machine for a couple of minutes wondering how it could possibly be done. Line guys all straight-faced working. Only broken up by the manager walking by who without a word knew exactly what was happening.

[bikinchris]

At the dealership we worked at we woudl send the new parts runner to EVERY parts store in town looking for the lower radiator hose for a 1968 Karman Ghia. All of the parts stores were used to it, so they kept a straight face.
Muffler bearings were also popular. At least they learned where every parts store in town was after the first day.

[ctcyclistbob]

Some I've heard of over the years:

Industrial: "Go find a bucket of steam"
Baseball : "Go get the keys to the batters box"
Medical: "Bring me the neck tourniquet"
Medical: "Go get the Otis elevator" (related to an instrument called an elevator)