OT: Waaaaay OT!!! C-sections

[Dave B]

ok, no gross details, but a week from yesterday (so march 1st) my wife is scheduled for a c-section for our little boy to arrive. Super excited and to be honest a smidge worried about my wife. I am sure the surgery, even though it is considered a mahor one, will go fine. However...I worry about what could happen. I am going to be positive and all that jazz.

Only down side is that I get a max 4 days off to be with her.

So my question is and I know it is subjective. how fast do moms bounce back after the birth? I know I can have some of the family look after her as well as baby happycampyer, but I worry about my wife. So dads, maybe a little advice on what would be awesome for my wife and what you wish you knew before that might help a bro out.

Cheers

[AngryScientist]

I'll PM ya buddy.

[rugbysecondrow]

She will spend 3 days of the 4 in the hospital of all goes well, longer if not. She can't lift, push, pull or anything strenuos for 10 -14 days. After that, all is good. Your job is to let her heal and mend. Also, your job is to change her dressings, which might be horrific for you if you are squeemish.

Somebody should be with her at all times for the first 10-14 days though. She shouldn't be lifting or walking with the baby.

Otherwise, just play it by ear. My wife has had two, one planned and one not planned, and she has had zero recovery issues. Other women are not so lucky.

Edit: What I wish I knew:

Be patient and get a few good books before hand. LOTS of down time. Babies are easy compared to toddlers, they don't do squat. Sleep when they sleep is true. Also, get to know the nurses and hospital staff, it will make your stay in the hospital easier. If you are sleeping in the room with your wife, bring Iburprofin because the fold-out bed sucks big time.

Also, when the staff asks if you want the baby to sleep with your or sleep in the nursery, have them take the baby away. As nice as it sounds to have to baby be with you, your wife needs to sleep and get well. The baby will do just fine elsewhere.

[flydhest]

Originally Posted by rugbysecondrow

She will spend 3 days of the 4 in the hospital of all goes well, longer if not. She can't lift, push, pull or anything strenuos for 10 -14 days. After that, all is good. Your job is to let her heal and mend. Also, your job is to change her dressings, which might be horrific for you if you are squeemish.

Somebody should be with her at all times for the first 10-14 days though. She shouldn't be lifting or walking with the baby.

Otherwise, just play it by ear. My wife has had two, one planned and one not planned, and she has had zero recovery issues. Other women are not so lucky.

I agree largely with Rugby. Dote on her, is what I suggest. Strong women (and I clearly don't know your wife) may feel a need to "be tough" which I think is the wrong answer. What they have gone through is nothing short of heroic and it will be best for them, and therefore the baby, to take it easy and heal as completely as possible. A couple weeks of not lifting (but still holding, feeding, cuddling, adoring . . . ) is a good thing.

We live in a row house, so stairs are a part of everyday life. Minimizing the use of stairs is important. Abs matter a lot for stair climbing.

Better to err on the side of caution and give up a couple extra days of up and about than to do too much too soon and have to give up a couple of extra weeks.

[rwsaunders]

That's a tough operation. Do you have help nearby as others have suggested, as there is no magic formula for a healthy recovery other than rest and common sense? Add to the fact that there are newborn duties as well, and you'll understand even more why your wife is special.

I'm no Doc, but did you get a second opinion confirming that she actually needs the procedure? I ask this as baby number was one delivered via C-section due to an emergency during delivery. Our other two were delivered without this procedure. I previously held the understanding that once a woman gave birth via C-section, there was no other option, but our experiences proved otherwise.

Best of luck to both of you.

[Dave B]

Originally Posted by rwsaunders

That's a tough operation. Do you have help nearby as others have suggested, as there is no magic formula for a healthy recovery other than rest and common sense? Add to the fact that there are newborn duties as well, and you'll understand even more why your wife is special.

I'm no Doc, but did you get a second opinion confirming that she actually needs the procedure? I ask this as baby number was one delivered via C-section due to an emergency during delivery. Our other two were delivered without this procedure. I previously held the understanding that once a woman gave birth via C-section, there was no other option, but our experiences proved otherwise.

Best of luck to both of you.

Yeah little boy is breach and while we could have had a procedure to turn him Liz (my wife) had lower amounts of fluid and the difficult procedure became even more so.

We do have some help. Her folks are willing, but her dad is going through brutal radiation for lymphoma and a new method of harvesting stem cells to regenerate marrow growth. Cool stuff, but still a cancer battle.

I think we can be covered with help, just crossing the I's and dotting the T's.


i appreciate all the suggestions. Liz is typical German woman, very hard nosed and will need reminders to be still, not try to re-roof the house and so on.

Thanks gents as always my deepest thanks for the help.

Dave

[tsarpepe]

I've been through this. The physical side of the ordeal and recovery is one thing, and here I second the words of the guys above me. There is also the psychological side. C-sections come with a feeling of inadequacy. She won't say it, but the thoughts "I am not like the others. Is this how I begin my motherhood? Why couldn't I deliver normally?" will be there, consciously or subconsciously. They will stay after the physical effects are overcome. So, be prepared for giving psychological comfort as well. It is equally needed.

[Fixed]

ours was a c section it went great
it is fast we went in at 6 by eight i was holding my son .and that was almost 20 years ago.
he or she will have the best shaped head in the ward .
cheers

[Keith A]

Just a few comments to add, our first was delivered as a C-section, but that was after 24 hours of hard labor. This was a long recovery for my wife and pretty hard physically as well. The second was a planned C-section and this was a breeze compared to the first...which was good since at that point we had a toddler along with a new baby to care for. Our third was delivered naturally even with two prior C-sections.

I'm with rwsaunders and would make sure that a C-section is really necessary. If you search the Internet, you will see many articles about how C-sections in the US are on the rise and why many may not be necessary. I know my wife's first one was necessary, but I now question the decision of the doc for the 2nd one since our third was not a C-section.

[bumknees]

PM sent

[crownjewelwl]

first was emergency and was an awful experience. second was planned so an altogether "pleasant" experience. there's a calmness when you know what is happening and when.

it is a surgical procedure so all the usual stuff applies.

i know you'll be tempted but DO NOT look over the other side of the sheet!

[Dave B]

Originally Posted by crownjewelwl

first was emergency and was an awful experience. second was planned so an altogether "pleasant" experience. there's a calmness when you know what is happening and when.

it is a surgical procedure so all the usual stuff applies.

i know you'll be tempted but DO NOT look over the other side of the sheet!

Yeah, I plan on being up by her head the entire time. More for her then me, but I do not want to see anything near that area.

[bargainguy]

Back when I was doing the medical thing, breech presentation was always an indication for section. Too much risk for fetal hypoxia if vaginal delivery is attempted. Baby gets brain damage from the get-go....you don't want to go there.

C-section is actually preferred in some instances. Big baby/small pelvis; ease of second and further deliveries, plus no labor, and mom knows what to expect instead of having to be induced or go through God knows what kind of labor. These days, sections are usually done via epidural or spinal anesthesia so mom is mostly awake during the procedure.

Best wishes to you all. Hoping for a healthy baby and happy parents.

Don

[Dave B]

Originally Posted by bargainguy

Back when I was doing the medical thing, breech presentation was always an indication for section. Too much risk for fetal hypoxia if vaginal delivery is attempted. Baby gets brain damage from the get-go....you don't want to go there.

C-section is actually preferred in some instances. Big baby/small pelvis; ease of second and further deliveries, plus no labor, and mom knows what to expect instead of having to be induced or go through God knows what kind of labor. These days, sections are usually done via epidural or spinal anesthesia so mom is mostly awake during the procedure.

Best wishes to you all. Hoping for a healthy baby and happy parents.

Don

Cheers mate appreciate the thoughts. Breach has us sorted into a c-section. We know it is coming and are doing our best to be prepared, everyone's words help.

Will let everyone know next week how things go. If you are in Indy during next weekend come on by!

[gasman]

Breech presentation is basically an absolute indication for a C/S .
Best of luck and good advice above.