OT Posted on eBay Della Santa listing for $40,000

[cnighbor1]

09/22/2022
OT Posted on eBay Della Santa listing for $40,000
The description reads,"DELLA SANTA Showpiece.
58cm, Frameset built for and exhibited only at NAMBLA. The legendary one-off "poker" edition. Assuredly NOT one of the two! fraudulent/bogus/counterfeit DS frames sold hereabouts in the the last couple of years, but that's why Caveat Emptor rules.
Mostly NOS vintage Super Record components (except for the saddle, in which case if you have a NOS WHITE Selle Italia Turbo Bernie Hinault, do tell.) Assembled two years ago with Campagnolo tools. Never seen daylight, much less pavement.
Acolytes and cycling sycophants (cyclophants?) only, please. Supply your own box of tissues or maintain 6' minimum distance. Wiping off overexcited sticky residue and drool is such a chore.
Shipping can be arranged. Let's go, Frank.
XxxxxxX
In a surprising and thrilling development, I was recently contacted by a Monsignor Riccardo Tuttolungo, S.J. who is a feature writer at L'Osservatore Romano, the daily newspaper published by the Vatican.
Known around Rome as " the pedaling priest" , Father Tuttolungo expressed interest in obtaining this truly unique Della Santa bicycle on behalf of the Holy See.
As the purchase discussion ensued over a tedious zoom call, it bogged down over the sticky issue of exactly in what currency the exchange would be made.
While I presumed he would prefer to pay in his native euros (despite the huge stacks of U.S. Benjamins they keep on hand for when a bit of hush money is called for), it seems the blockchain has foisted its meta grip on his Holiness himself, so Bit-coin it must be, he asserted.
As the whole crypto-currency scheme smells a tad "musk-y" to me, I've only dabbled in one obscure token. It's cycling related -cog coin, as its retired pro cyclist sponsor in Colorado calls it - and you can bet your Gitanes it's gonna be the next big thing. You'll see! Check the current price! HOFDL!
Anyway, I just had to probe the backside of this priestly story...why would the Vatican, that paragon of piety, have an interest in this bike?
Come on! Don't be silly! DELLA SANTA (insert question mark) The Italian literally translates as "of the saint".
But WHICH saint, Who, Where, (insert question marks)
It was then that the reluctant priest revealed to me what I can only describe as the most shocking cycling news I've ever heard.
It seems they have initiated the steps needed to declare the builder, one Peter Rolland Della Santa, a SAINT.
Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. As Fr. Tuttolungo explained, while many of the performance attributes of these famed bicycles are well documented over many years and numerous sources, there have been several "incidents" which fall outside the norm. Spoken of previously in hushed tones by only few privileged peloton insiders, these "incidents" are now recognized for their true meaning and value.


They are nothing short of ...miracles. There is no alternative explanation. And these miracles, if you will, were performed by an unrecognized Saint. And thus, the local Diocese having amassed sufficient documentation, the "Congregation for the Causes of the Saints" accepted the "transumptum", or evidence.


So, in short, the Vatican seeks this particular Della Santa as evidence in the Beatification proceedings.


I'll soon reveal in detail the miracles (and maybe a few secrets as well) the were revealed to me. A foreshadowing of the miracles to ensue was a holy visitation late at night in the basement of his parent's house in the 1600 block of Ordway Avenue in his home town of Reno, Nevada. It was here that young Peter was attempting to build his first frameset with naught but a bench vise, blocks of wood and a rat tailed file.


As he was nearing the end of the painstaking process of hand mitering the tubing appeared a ghostly apparition: none other than the patron saint of cycling, her Holiness the Madonna Della Ghisalo. Speaking softly to the earnest young man, the beloved Saint revealed to him the secret of the master framebuilders of old; a secret ingredient to be added to the flux! It is a secret sauce that makes the frames nearly indestructible and invincible. Who knew, insert question mark.And yet 'twas right there in the palm of his hand almost every night. The grip on his future fame was now assured.


An early episode one of the first miracles reported was a transubstantiation (that is, making one thing into another by divine invocation). In this case, a young neophyte bike racer was seeking the pathway to cycling success and approached Peter for advice. Seeing the eager youth was riding a prosaic Italian road frame of no repute, the framebuiler took a deep breath and muttering a secret prayer, he then, by the mere laying on of his Saintly hands, the frame - with its weird proprietary fastback seat stay/seat tube clamp, oddball seatpost diameter of 26.2, the sloping chromed fork crown and dearth of brazed-on fittings, the frame was miraculously and instantly transformed into a Della Santa! and subsequently ridden to many victories.


Now truly big news...a group of cycling tech industry micro-dosed investors got wind of the Papal plan to hijack this miracle bike and have put in their own offer to keep it here in the US. It would be the centerpiece of a showstopping display (please, do not touch!)

Their plan is to buy the old DS parent's house on Ordway to remodel into a virtual experience museum. You'll get to see actual memorabilia (the collection of medical aberration reference books and vintage foreign language pornography not to be missed!) and then, you'll be taken down to the very boyhood basement bedroom / nascent frame shop - which will be lovingly recreated right down to the unswept metal filings and uncollected used kleenex. There, a DS hologram (or if you prefer, Holy-gram) will measure and build you a virtual frame on the spot, available for you as a (ebay bot just made me remove the acronym for a non-fungible thing, phonetically & in Italian: enna effa tay) to remember your visit (slight additional cost- not included with admission, crypto-currency or cash only, please!)


The recent retirement announcement of Justice Breyer sent the intertubewebtwittersphere ablaze with speculation regarding just what would constitute a suitable retirement gift for the storied jurist.


Much was mooted, from seaside resort property (this reported today by Fox news , in Novichok, Ukraine on the serene, always calm Black Sea ) to spaceship rides with any one of the tax-dodging Billionaires around (elon tweet) so naturally, yers truly stepped up and suggested gifting him the DS. I know it's his size - we rode a club level TTT a couple of years back and lemme tell ya, the guy can pound the pedals at least as hard as his gavel- plus he doesn't give a whit about angles and standover height since a race frame is a race frame. Whatdya expect? If the seattube is the right length for you, grab an allen wrench and kit up. Who are YOU, The Cannibal, insert question mark. (Ebay bot tagged me for using question mark punctuation!) But this no daily ride trash, it's a f-in holy shrine, for crissakes.


But I don't have those deep donor pockets to fund such a gift. We need a way to come up with the funds and fast! lest some LSD trippin' California Tech baron or bug-hatted Pope thwart the idea.


BUT! The Code of Federal Regulations , aka the CFR- a codification of the general and permanent rules published in the Federal Register, prohibits gifts in excess of $50 per year.

A former President had to return about $250 million he was gifted by ol' Vladie P. (Or...did he, question mark.)


Ebay TOS prohibits me from posting the URL but if you go to the White House Petition website, you can join the throngs who have "spoke up" to petition Joe B. to waive the rules and let Big Gubmint pick up the tab and forget this "build back better" and go with "Buy Breyer's Bike".


Exact same alliteration, better for the environment AND the economy ( mine at least).


Robots. They are going to rule over us all soon.


Here's a shot of the ORIGINAL DS decals, as seen on the earliest production. When he moved out of his parent's basement and to a shop over on Dickerson road. I will list for sale on ebay if asked, but be forewarned. These possess magic powers that transform the time-space continuum.

NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH" eBay item number:203825233754

[m_sasso]

Haha! Pretty bike!

[NHAero]

Pretty interesting, being exhibited at NAMBLA - custom bikes along with pedophilia!

[pasadena]

***...lol

Originally Posted by cnighbor1

09/22/2022
ot posted on ebay della santa listing for $40,000
the description reads,"della santa showpiece.
58cm, frameset built for and exhibited only at nambla. The legendary one-off "poker" edition.

[Hilltopperny]

Originally Posted by NHAero

Pretty interesting, being exhibited at NAMBLA - custom bikes along with pedophilia!

exactly what I thought when I read it! Seems to be for sale by a delusional one at that!

Sent from my SM-S127DL using Tapatalk

[JedB]

National Association of Marlon Brando Look Alikes??

LINK

[Old School]

Originally Posted by NHAero

Pretty interesting, being exhibited at NAMBLA - custom bikes along with pedophilia!

I wonder if the FBI wants to look at an iphone that autocorrects from "NAHBS" to "NAMBLA"

[duff_duffy]

The seller seems to know a lot about former presidents, perhaps too much. Could it be the seller himself is a former president that has been known to impersonate others when boasting and significantly overvaluing his properties?

[Old School]

Originally Posted by duff_duffy

The seller seems to know a lot about former presidents, perhaps too much. Could it be the seller himself is a former president that has been known to impersonate others when boasting and significantly overvaluing his properties?

can we please just talk about bicycles?

[earlfoss]

The seller seems pretty unhinged.

[mstateglfr]

That seller mentions microdosing, a cycling priest, crypto, Putin, robots, SCOTUS, and more.


I would need at least 1 hour of hyperfocus time to try and even work thru half of what is in that listing.

[Elefantino]

Originally Posted by cnighbor1

Monsignor Riccardo Tuttolungo, S.J. who is a feature writer at L'Osservatore Romano, the daily newspaper published by the Vatican

This is the only correspondent I know from L'Osservatore Romano and considering how much he smokes I don't think he rides a Della Santa.
.

[d_douglas]

What was that characters name again - that dude cracked me up.


This DS ad is just stupid/

[gbcoupe]

Originally Posted by d_douglas

What was that characters name again - that dude cracked me up.


This DS ad is just stupid/

Father Guido Sarducci?

[Elefantino]

Yes, as portrayed by SF comedian Don Novello.