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#1
06-20-2011, 08:59 PM
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I could have handled it better
I had a bit of a skirmish with a car today, and after thinking about it, I could have handled it better than I did.
Riding out where I live in the boonies, I was going down a long, gradual, tree-covered downhill with houses, and near the end is a right curve followed by a stop sign. I go around the corner and there's a car in the middle of the road, trying to back into his driveway. No big deal, I go around him, and am at the stop sign. All is well. Then he starts screaming at me, dropping a continuous flow of f-bombs. So, of course, I start yelling at him. I ask him what he's so pissed off about, drop some of my own f-bombs, then head away. Then he calls me a ????ing faggot, so now I have to go back and yell at him some more. We trade f-bombs again, and then I decide to leave. That's about it. I guess he was pissed because I surprised him. I really wasn't going that fast because the stop sign was right there. Now, this is guy was no threat. He was a 60ish guy (I'm 57), smaller, and definitely not fit. I had no problem approaching him, and I think he realized he pushed the envelope when he called me a faggot. I'm also about the least intimidating guy myself. After I have these encounters, I always go back and ask myself if I could have handled it better, and in this case, I could have. I should have let him have his tirade and said nothing myself, just let him vent. Then I should have calmly asked him what the problem was, and explained that I was just riding my bike and going no faster than any car would have been going. Maybe, just maybe, he would have realized that he overreacted and that I really wasn't the asshole he thought I was. Then, we could have parted semi-amicably and he might have ended up with a better opinion of cyclists. If he had no interest in discussion, then I'd call him a ????ing asshole because, well, his mind is made up. Any comments? Murph 
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#2
06-20-2011, 09:03 PM
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i'm a big fan of letting people rant and rave, get all pissed off, and calmly as : "do you feel better now" - gets them every time.
dont sweat it, emotions run high every now and then, as long as no blows were exchanged, no harm, no foul.
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#3
06-21-2011, 06:36 AM
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Quote:
I do the same thing now. They feel like asses when you are calm and collected. It makes their tirade seem way out of proportion. I find if I introduce myself and talk about my family and job it makes me human and really deflates them. They need to dehumanize you in order to have that much anger towards another person.
__________________
Cheers...Daryl Life is too important to be taken seriously
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#4
06-21-2011, 06:46 AM
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What I do is wave and smile. They are mad and want to get you mad. This really pisses them off....
 My motto: Don't argue with a 2 ton car....you'll lose. This is especially true here in the Dallas area.
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#5
06-24-2011, 06:47 PM
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I'll try that....its a nice approach and probably has a lasting (positive) impression....but it will be a challenge. 
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#7
06-20-2011, 09:05 PM
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I can totally empathize with you. I have a knack for matching a motorist's anger, and everytime afterward I wish I handled it differently.
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#8
06-20-2011, 09:05 PM
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I think you handled it like 90% of us would have but you were lucky that this older gent wasn't a younger red neck with a buck knife, bat or something worse. Although, that may have changed your approach
But I agree with your thought of approaching it in a more level-headed way. But then again, it's tough because some guys are real douche bags.
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#9
06-20-2011, 09:10 PM
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I can't remember the last time I have been yelled at like that, but I am not good about keeping my cool either. at least it didn't go any further because then you would see if you fitness was a match for whatever trick he might have had.
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#10
06-20-2011, 09:19 PM
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edit, nevermind
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#11
06-20-2011, 10:09 PM
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Don't worry, hindsight makes more sense every time. You reacted in and of the moment.
What chance the other bloke finished backing his car, calmed down, and thought to himself "Now what the hell did I blow like that for?". Maybe he did.
__________________
'Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.' -- W. C. Fields
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#12
06-20-2011, 09:17 PM
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It's tough when someone verbally attacks you like that. Counting to 10 doesn't work as well in practice---I likely would have done the same.
Must be the day for jerks... we were out riding tonight with a buddy on a rural road with little traffic, when a new black Camaro SS roars up close by and hammers the throttle immediately in front of us. Another biker came up a few minutes later and said he'd seen the perp leave a bar we passed, did the same thing to him, and then approached us from behind at a high rate of speed before hitting the brakes and doing his litttle performance for us. The biker thought he'd take us out given his closing speed.
__________________
Old... and in the way.
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#13
06-20-2011, 10:47 PM
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Funny thing is that the last time I had a similar encounter with a motorist it was I who was trying to back my van into the driveway so I could unload building materials, and a motorist got all bent out of shape because I was blocking the street in front of my house for a second or two, and reacted by angrily leaning on the horn. That escalated fast because I didn’t appreciate their aggression. I very much regret my reaction, but will bet they never do it again.
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#14
06-20-2011, 11:02 PM
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If you would've asked me a few years ago I would've suggested flipping the guy off and swearing to your heart's content at the driver. But I've changed. These days I simply wave and continue my ride. Nothing can be gained from getting upset. Nothing.
Kevin g
__________________
Say What?
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