OT: kids and screen time.

[XXtwindad]

I’m constantly fretting that my girls are spending too much time in front of a computer screen (games/educational programs) and TV. About an hour a day. More on the weekends, especially if it’s raining. (As has been the case for the last two months in sunny CA)

I’m aware this might just be the precursor to extensive time spent on social media. Which is even more worrisome, frankly.

Anyone successful in setting strict boundaries?

[CNY rider]

How old are your girls?
It's an ongoing process of evaluation and change as they get older.

[XXtwindad]

Originally Posted by CNY rider

How old are your girls?
It's an ongoing process of evaluation and change as they get older.

They’re eight.

[PaMtbRider]

7000 posts and your worried about your kids spending too much time online?

[windsurfer]

I suggest reading the book "Screen Schooled"

[bil]

one hour a day... That would be my dream!
heck, even 2 hours a day would be the dream...

[lavi]

It's a frigging quagmire. I've been fighting screens with my son (now 17) for****ingever.

We've limited access to apps to 1 hour/day. No matter the app....they get an hour. However, my son spends time on Discord (I hate it)...where he communes with his friends. I don't quite understand why they don't just have a group chat (using the messaging in the iphone, or whatsapp or whateverthehellthekidsuse).

I don't have nearly as many issues with my daughter (15). She's much more compliant.

One of the other issues that I have is that, no matter what they are viewing, they want to do it on their phone. I'd prefer they watch youtube on a computer or on the tv....just NOT THE DAMN PHONE.

I'll be watching for what others say. After beating my head against a wall for almost a decade, I'm near giving up. My son is nearing the end of his Junior year. He got nearly 1500 on his SAT and some crazy schools have come knocking for him to apply. So, color me confused.

This (****ing screens) seems like the new way of the world...and I'm (dear old cisgen dad) sorely lacking in my understanding.

[GregL]

Originally Posted by XXtwindad

Anyone successful in setting strict boundaries?

I found that with my daughter, it was less about strict boundaries and more about establishing good habits and behavior. They will model your actions. Things like homework before screen time. Family dinners without TV, tablets, or phones. Dog walks in the evenings. Outdoor time with family and friends. I knew things were going well when I’d pull in the driveway after work to find most of the neighborhood kids playing at my house. My daughter was the ringleader for shooting hoops, climbing trees, and playing hopscotch (among other activities). Great memories for her old dad!

Greg

[tellyho]

I've given up to a large extent. Kids are older (15 and 17) and need to use laptops for homework. I have a Circle and limit devices to 3 hours a day. It mostly works. They'll be in therapy at some point anyway...

[p nut]

We’ve had issues with my kids. But few years ago, we started putting them in extracurricular activities. Of their choosing. Soccer, gymnastics, hip hop dancing, etc. along with violin/piano (our choosing). They really don’t have time to watch much tv or screens. And they’re perfectly happy.

[GregL]

Originally Posted by p nut

We’ve had issues with my kids. But few years ago, we started putting them in extracurricular activities. Of their choosing. Soccer, gymnastics, hip hop dancing, etc. along with violin/piano (our choosing). They really don’t have time to watch much tv or screens. And they’re perfectly happy.

Similar here. Softball, playing viola in her school orchestra, and my personal favorite, agility training with our dog. On agility training nights, both daughter and dog came home exhausted

Greg

[Spaghetti Legs]

Screen time is how life is done for the most part now. We have one kid still in the house and I just try to get the kid engaged in something non screen oriented as much as possible without any particular screen time limit.

Our oldest (now 23), we were strict with screen time limits and game/video content, but kind of gave up by time he was in high school. He is now quite skilled at multi-screening, watching one basketball game on TV, another on his phone, and doing work on his laptop. He graduated a good college and has a good job and a nice boy on top of all that, so there you go.

[Deanhorsfall]

I liked a few of the other responses on here towards screens. I would agree that the kids need an alternative option other than watching a screen. My children are very busy in sports or activities and really do not have all that much time to sit around. Setting some boundaries is a good idea. I think not letting them take phones and laptops into their rooms alone is a good one. I also think that setting an example is smart. Paying attention to how much you use a screen is important. I know a lot of people are using the phone for work but maybe if you do- use it for work then put it away when your done.

[fiamme red]

Originally Posted by lavi

I'll be watching for what others say. After beating my head against a wall for almost a decade, I'm near giving up. My son is nearing the end of his Junior year. He got nearly 1500 on his SAT and some crazy schools have come knocking for him to apply. So, color me confused.

I was in the gym yesterday evening and one of the regular members brought his teenage son as a guest. This boy was staring at his phone the entire time: getting on the elliptical trainer, exercising on the elliptical, getting off, walking across the room, getting a drink from the water fountain, using various leg machines, and then leaving. I don't think he looked up for more than a few seconds in 40 minutes. I remarked to the father as he was leaving that his son appeared to be very engrossed in his phone. He said that the boy was addicted to online chess. So I guess it could be worse.

[mstateglfr]

16yo and 12yo girls.

Both got phones at 11. The 16yo got social media at 15 and the younger will probably have it at 14. Just IG and the oldest is too needy and too willing to share what's happening in her world to worry social media is taking over. Sometimes we wish she shared less!

They were 10 before they had devices of their own. But the pandemic really fast forwarded things, especially for our youngest, since them playing minecraft with various friends around the metro was the only way for them to interact for a long time.
So coming out of the first pandemic wave, we saw things had changed and you can't put the genie back.


1 hour of total screen time per day at 8 years old? Pat yourself on the back.
Hold out for as long as possible on connected devices. And then when they get em, continually discuss how to use them responsibly as well as how common it is for even adults to spend too much time online(cough cough me) so learning good habits early is critical. Talk about social media before they have it. Talk about the cool parts. Talk about the trappings. Have them be knowledgeable users of social media as they start. Make sure they understand privacy, lack of, and why it's important for all and especially minors.
Until a kid genuinely understands privacy and why it's important to be hesitant, I don't think they should have access to social media.

...but hey- you are years from that!