2020...$#*+…enough already.

[Toddtwenty2]

I am sorry that you are going through this difficult and surely trying situation.

I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but I have a close relative with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is something that they would do. This book helped me to manage our relationship a bit:

https://www.amazon.com/Coping-BPD-Sy...52fdb1a1daa6ae

Good luck to you.

[redir]

I'm not sure I understand the OP. Are you saying someone you know destroyed your bike collection? If so I'd be perusing them.

[rallizes]

awful situation and i wish you the best

[Black Dog]

Originally Posted by fiamme red

From what I've read here, this person doesn't seem to me just mentally ill, he seems to be a criminal. A mentally ill person might break stuff, but only a criminal would come maliciously with a hacksaw to cut carbon bike frames in half.

Cutting (intent) is the line between mental illness and criminality? Perhaps your diametric view of this act is lacking some nuance and is not fully informed by the realities of mental illness and psychology. Just a thought; perhaps the person found the saw in the house and did not arrive with it. I am just trying to point out that things are rarely black and white and the lines are almost never clear. I think that your sentiment, highlights the gap between perceptions of mental illness and the reality. We have come a long way in our scientific and clinical understanding of neuroscience and physiology but the continued stigmatization and adherence to old myths about mental illness have show us that society has not kept up.

Think about PTSD and how it used to be considered the behaviour of cowards and now is understood for what it is. We have gone from jailing and putting solders in front of a firing squad to starting to get them the help that they need (there is still a very long way to go with this however). Sorry for the diversion here, but overwhelming evidence shows that the justice system only makes mental illness worse when it handles the people with it. This creates more costly effects on us all in terms of money and crime.

[stephenmarklay]

No words...

[fiamme red]

Originally Posted by Black Dog

Cutting (intent) is the line between mental illness and criminality? Perhaps your diametric view of this act is lacking some nuance and is not fully informed by the realities of mental illness and psychology. Just a thought; perhaps the person found the saw in the house and did not arrive with it. I am just trying to point out that things are rarely black and white and the lines are almost never clear. I think that your sentiment, highlights the gap between perceptions of mental illness and the reality. We have come a long way in our scientific and clinical understanding of neuroscience and physiology but the stigmatization and long held beliefs about mental illness have not kept up.

Think about PTSD and how it used to be considered the behaviour of cowards and now is understood for what it is. We have gone from jailing and putting solders in front of a firing squad to starting to get them the help that they need (there is still a very long way to go with this however). Sorry for the diversion here, but overwhelming evidence shows that the justice system only makes mental illness worse when it handles the people with it. This creates more costly effects on us all in terms of money and crime.

Since the OP gave no indication of what the person's motivations could have been, I won't speculate any further about whether this person just has a mental illness or is a criminal who might well do something similar, or even worse, in the future. In any case, the incident should be certainly reported to police, in my opinion.

[Ozz]

Sorry about your stuff.....2020 continues to suck.

Good luck with your "family" member...

FWIW - you might just talk to the police about what happened and then decide whether to file a report. I think the insurance company just needs a case number so they can rule out insurance fraud. If you can get the case number without naming the person that might work...the police will have no interest in this other than putting the event into their crime statistics.

[KonaSS]

Piling on. Feel so sorry for you having to go through this ordeal.

We went on vacation this summer, and my teenage daughter's friends used my house as a party house. These are kids that we have hosted, feed often and liked very much. But they stayed at my house, drove my cars (scratched up one), ate food, made a mess. They somewhat tried to cover their tracks, but we knew something was up immediately. Coming home and having to clean your entire house was no fun.

It was a trying ordeal as there was the physical losses (nothing major compared to yours), but much bigger was the emotional scars of people who you know and like betraying your trust.

But your ordeal is like mine x 1000, so I can't even imagine what you have gone through. But time makes all things better. Hang in there.

[skouri1]

I do understand the need not to inflame and youre right. punishment certainly does not always help someone with mental illness or whatever emotional problem prompted them to do this. Its a delicate line, and I acknowledge that. I applaud your empathy.
Personally, however, I would still have police document it, even if you dont want to press charges. Simply because, who knows what path this individual will take. It could be useful for you, for others in their life, or for them . If they are already getting help, I would hope whoever is helping them is aware of this.
best of luck navigating this situation as it indeed sounds like a doozy. here's to a better 2021.

[doomridesout]

In some states there's a mental health diversion process-- a person is arrested and charged but the charges are dismissed pending successful completion of a mental health program. Getting there could be a circuitous route but could get you the LE involvement needed to make an insurance claim without a punitive outcome. Good luck. This sucks to hear.

[Cornfed]

I don't mean to minimize the mental conflict involved with prosecuting a "family" member, but if I had kids, a wife, a family and someone came into my home and took the time to saw numerous carbon bikes in half, I would be (1) very thankful no one was home at the time, (2) scared s***less of this person and what else they might do, and (3) mad as hell and determined to put this person away for my family's and others' safety. And that goes for "family" or family. This is not a forgive and forget situation, imo. This is a call 911 and bolt the doors situation.

[Black Dog]

Originally Posted by fiamme red

Since the OP gave no indication of what the person's motivations could have been, I won't speculate any further about whether this person just has a mental illness or is a criminal who might well do something similar, or even worse, in the future. In any case, the incident should be certainly reported to police, in my opinion.

Fair enough. I read into the OP that the person was not stable. I hope that I did not come across as trying to go after you. Not my intent. I think that a call to police for insurance purposes and not to pursue criminal charges may be wise.

[happycampyer]

So sorry to hear this, Dave. I hope you and your family are able to recover from this quickly—not just the property damage, but the emotional trauma as well. The upcoming holiday is an even more poignant reminder of the importance of family and home, which I know you cherish.

[joevers]

Originally Posted by fiamme red

Since the OP gave no indication of what the person's motivations could have been, I won't speculate any further about whether this person just has a mental illness or is a criminal who might well do something similar, or even worse, in the future. In any case, the incident should be certainly reported to police, in my opinion.

Dave said he doesn't want to make this person's situation worse or punish them. What do you think involving police would possibly do? Certainly not get them the help they need.

[tuxbailey]

I am speechless after reading this. I admire OP's ability to see beyond the material loss and the emotional scars left by this event.

In the event that the family member get better and recover, I hope he/she will feel the remorse and try to make up. Although I seriously doubt that person would understand the worth from all the destruction.

I would also suggest changing all the locks and make sure the alarm system is up to date.