I'm a saddle bag guy but get that the big ones look goofy. I've always just used a minimal one that can hold a tube, mini-tool + levers + patch kit. It is too easy to end up not having your tools if you always have to remember to stick the extra stuff in your jersey. I like making cycling simpler, not more full of accessories and rituals.
And I go for the zip-loc freezer bag to hold my phone + wallet. I agree something is needed, I actually never had a phone break from sweat/rain but my wallets would disintegrate after a year or two from sweat & rain without the plastic bag.
Not sure why everything has to be bespoke around here. The ziploc bags work great and you just grab another one when they start to wear out. And EVERYTHING wears out when you cycle around with it for thousands of miles. They go with the "keep it simple" theme too.
I am working up to it but I am going to go full fred at some point this summer and go for a ride with a handlebar bag when I have a chance for a really long ride and want to bring lunch.
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