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#1
09-10-2019, 11:06 AM
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Cycling Parents
I've been to a number of races with parents present.
Local kid races to World Championships. I can't recall a single time when I've seen a parent lay into a kid for not performing on the bike. My friend however never seems to run dry on stories about hockey parents coming down hard on their kid for not scoring or whatever. I'm sure there are cycling parents out there that are A-type personality overachievers. So are there instances and I'm just missing them or is there something about cycling that soothes the savage beast? 
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#3
09-10-2019, 11:50 AM
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I suspect a couple reasons why cycling parents might different than hockey/basketball/soccer/tennis/etc. parents:
- Most don't expect their kid to make their HS team/get a scholarship/be world champ in cycling the way that other sports parents do (mostly because there is no varsity HS/college team/scholarship). No team, no pressure. - Most cycling parents are or were also competitive cyclists. My experience is that the parents who played at the higher levels were generally the most laid back. Not exactly sure why that is, but I think that they get the big picture better than parents with little or no experience in that sport (YMMV). - Finally, bike racing is inherently a dangerous sport. Any race where you don't crash is a successful race (IMHO). As a parent, I would feel that even more strongly if my kid was racing.
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Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi, sed saepe cadendo. - Ovid
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#4
09-10-2019, 11:57 AM
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A year or so ago, I was riding at a popular Front Range trail system, come around a corner and a dad and his 12ish yo son go zipping past (not yielding to uphill me, but whatever). He then skids to a stop, turns around and yells "Ride it or walk it, but get moving!" Just around the next corner is a petrified 7-8yo boy waiting at the top of a 2 foot rock drop, looks like he's about to cry. I stopped, gave him a short demo of how to ride the drop and some encouragement and kept on moving.
Every time I get frustrated with my kids for whatever reason, I think "don't be MTB dad." and take a deep breath.
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#6
09-10-2019, 12:00 PM
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Crazy parents are everywhere, but I think individual sports, especially the more straight up fitness oriented sports, are a bit more fatalist in nature and that has a calming effect on (most) parents. You are what you are. Your result is mostly pre-ordained by your training and your innate ability. Somehow, I think that is more obvious in a sport like swimming, running, or cycling. You encourage effort, but there is a realization that you can't whip a mule into a thoroughbred.
For many team sports, in addition to a strong social standing aspect, there is a sense that greatness is always just a moment away, if only junior would try/pay attention/think etc. It's a bad recipe for overly competitive parents.
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#9
09-10-2019, 02:04 PM
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in similar thought to some above, i feel like cyclist parents are cyclists themselves and know nobody is out there doing 'wrong." its just fun, and the only way to do it wrong is to not have fun.
also, i think cyclist families are with few exception from circles with a different standard for public displays.. can you imagine the looks a hockey dad would get berating his son or daughter from the infield? i shudder to think. im not the classiest guy around, but i think id find it difficult not to go over and suggest the guy "have some class." i live in the uneducated working class underbelly and have to hear the way people "talk" to their kids from time to time.. sometimes ruins my whole day.
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where are we going, and why am i in this handbasket?
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#10
09-10-2019, 02:18 PM
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When I had my kids riding in a youth program a few back, one of the parents of a new kid couldn’t believe how nice and friendly everyone was at the race events.
I lived in the hockey world for years with my kids...one in particular who plays Jr.A. and the contrast with parents is amazing!! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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#11
09-10-2019, 02:27 PM
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Yah I think the parents being much more likely to be active athletes is a huge part of it.. you have a much more intimate understanding of what is going on.
I suspect a lot of the overbearing parents in other sports either: A) Never played the sport in question B) Played as a kid but didn't participate beyond junior high or maybe high school C) Don't actively work out/stay fit so they've lost perspective about how hard it is. Way easier to get unrealistic expectations when you don't have personal experience. My wife played college sports.. she seems a bit more reasonable with the sports she's really familiar with. She's a really good basketball & baseball/softball coach. But last night she was super unreasonable with swim lessons for our kid. She is not a good swimmer. I was a Red Cross Swim instructor.. she was amped up that our child was put in the wrong level, definite element of competitiveness/jealousy that the neighbors daughter was in a higher level.. took me 30 minutes to calm her down and try to explain the perspective of the people testing our kid. The neighbors daughter had been taking lessons at that facility for 18 months, our son was transferring out of a totally different program that is taught very differently with a wildly different safety balance. Helped that I had *direct* experience being on the other side of the instructor/angry mom situation. I don't know.. the whole spectator life thing drives me nuts mostly when I have to hear talking heads on ESPN and stuff like that. They're doing their job on TV but the attitudes & perspective they give off spread to the public and it's a really warped take on sports from people who usually have little personal experience.
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#12
09-10-2019, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
dave
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#13
09-10-2019, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
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#14
09-10-2019, 04:02 PM
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One "benefit" of cycling in this regard is that there is only 1 winner. So, most races feature a lot of losers, and you go into it knowing that. Also, for most disciplines, parents can't see the whole race, so their grasp of the race situation is an obstacle to making "helpful suggestions"
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And we have just one world, But we live in different ones
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#15
09-10-2019, 05:34 PM
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I'm Rob, and I'm a cycling parent. Some rambling comments...
I agree with the comment that any race my daughter doesn't crash in is a good race. She has higher aspirations, of course. She races for the love of the competition and the rush of the sprint. She's a Women's Pro 1-2, and does primarily criteriums. She finished 3rd in the USA Crits series this year, so, podium, yea. Both of us raced back in the day. I was strong-ish, and my wife was really very good, and raced in what was then the US women's stratosphere. So, we both appreciate (she more than I) the degree of difficulty in our daughter doing this. I met Greg Lemond at the Nationals, which was a treat. Daughter got boxed on the last climb and finished 11th. He opined that all of these races are just crap shoots for the top riders. We've never been anything but positive for her, no pushy-pushy stuff. I think most cycling parents want their kids to enjoy the sport and make it a lifetime sport. In the main, the cycling community is a wonderful one. It can take you around the world, even. Our cycling friends, and her cycling friends, are terrific. I value them all.
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