OT: Suicide sucks

[Jad]

Originally Posted by OperaLover

... I'm still here and I pick up myself up everyday and move forward. One day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time.

Thank you listening, sharing helps tremendously.

Thanks for sharing this--your words are touching and encouraging. Keep it going.

And thanks to all for sharing.

[froze]

I'm so sorry for your loss, that is really tragic.

I have a daughter who on 2 occasions tried to kill herself, the last attempt was when she downed an entire bottle of blood pressure meds my wife takes, plus a bottle of antidepressants! She goes to school that morning and the teachers think she's acting odd so off to the nurse office where she sat on a sofa semi passed out, the nurse never called EMT to have her looked at. So we go to the school to pick her up to take her home and we realize something is really wrong...and we're not even nurses! so we take her to ER. By the time the doctor saw her it was about 12 hours since digestion of the pills, they pumped her stomach, and gave her something to countereact what she took, but the docs all said she took enough pills to kill 4 people and she was fine! the other time she tried to bleed herself out which we caught and took her to ER, but she didn't cut herself the correct way so she survived of course.

The one thing we discovered after years of counseling for her is that sucide today has reached a fad status much like cutting which my daughter also did. And the really disgusting thing about this is that she could find books at the school library on cutting and sucide, satanism, and other bizarre books yet Christian related books are not allowed? I would think that reading about how to improve ones life would be better then reading about destroying ones life, but the public school systems don't seem to think so. So high school students have access to all sorts of destructive books at the school librarys across this nation and no one seems to care.

My daughter is now 23 and hasn't tried sucide since that last one, but she fights the demons of that in her mind, but she knows when it gets bad she checks herself in at a mental health clinic. Some people, like my daughter, are so messed up I'm not sure if those books weren't there if it would have mattered or not, but I know that's how she got into cutting.

The other bad thing in our society today is the use of smartphones by everyone these days, and there is a lot of cyberbullying going on, and when that happens everyone finds out about it, this is a terrible thing for some people to handle, so instead of facing disgrace amoung their peers they kill themselves instead. Another theory is that children stay up late at night playing video games, or games on their smartphones, or chatting to friends, etc,and because of that they are lacking sleep which plays havoc on ones mind.

[54ny77]

This has been an insightful, heartfelt and very touching thread. A tremendous community we have here.

[AngryScientist]

Originally Posted by 54ny77

This has been an insightful, heartfelt and very touching thread. A tremendous community we have here.

very much agree.

[Ti Designs]

Originally Posted by bking

My son, 32 years old, struggles with emotional issues that to this day have never been satisfactorily diagnosed, to him least of all.

I've spent over 30 years trying to find some diagnosis, mostly so I can explain what I can or can't do to anyone willing to look it up. In looking for other cases, what I found was horrible. There are lots of documented childhood cases, if the data is to be believed they work themselves out.

https://www.understood.org/en/learni...u-need-to-know

In the how you can help section it says "There’s a lot you can do at home, too. Early on, encourage your child to participate in activities that involve sequencing." Their expert clearly doesn't understand the problem. This is like telling a blind person to try to read. It's never going to work, it's frustrating beyond belief, and it never ends.

I can't speak for other conditions, but I'm sure it's much of the same. If you knew that your life was to be an endless sequence of people expecting you to do something you can't do, what would you do? how long would you put up with it?

My one suggestion is don't try to solve their problems. They have probably spent thousands of hours trying to work out solutions or work-arounds, your five second solution just makes you look like an idiot. Be a resource to them, lend them your ability to do the things they can't when they need it.

[Saint Vitus]

Originally Posted by OperaLover

My youngest child saved me. One night as I was tucking him in he said to me out of the blue, " Dad, I don't want you to die." WOW! that was my wake up. I promised him I was not going to die any time soon and began treatment.

I'm still here and I pick up myself up everyday and move forward. One day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time.

Thank you listening, sharing helps tremendously.

Thank you for sharing your story. Speaking for myself (and others I'm sure) I'm happy to listen, learn and help if I can.

[rwsaunders]

Froze...your experience made me think of one of the essay questions that my youngest son had to address when he recently applied to the honors college at Penn State. In addition to the question (see below), I have also included a link to the video clip that he had to watch, which references the TV show 13 Reasons Why. Apparently the show is about a young woman who takes her own life after being cyber and social bullied. The video clip was an eye opener for me.

It has been said that art imitates life, which implies that what we see depicted in entertainment is merely a reflection of what is happening in real life. Review this video clip and tell us if you believe it reflects experiences of teenagers in the world today. In your response, address the ethical issues presented in this clip and how you would address them.

https://twitter.com/13ReasonsWhy/sta...50888173363201

[Greatwhite]

Thats pretty selfish friend.

You have no idea what others are going through.

To want them to continue living a terrible life just so you can feel "better" about your "life" is not a good attitude.

It says your life is terrible and you cannot face the fact that some prefer to end theirs than to live unhappily.

It is not your right to even have an opinion about what others should do with their life.

[soulspinner]

Originally Posted by rwsaunders

Froze...your experience made me think of one of the essay questions that my youngest son had to address when he recently applied to the honors college at Penn State. In addition to the question (see below), I have also included a link to the video clip that he had to watch, which references the TV show 13 Reasons Why. Apparently the show is about a young woman who takes her own life after being cyber and social bullied. The video clip was an eye opener for me.

It has been said that art imitates life, which implies that what we see depicted in entertainment is merely a reflection of what is happening in real life. Review this video clip and tell us if you believe it reflects experiences of teenagers in the world today. In your response, address the ethical issues presented in this clip and how you would address them.

https://twitter.com/13ReasonsWhy/sta...50888173363201

Lost my little bro to suicide in 1989. A stronger cyclist I never met. He got me into the sport. He hid his depression. First rate engineer with what everyone thought was a brilliant future. I found an after suicide group helpful to the extent I began to co facilitate the group and help others that lost someone to suicide. At least for me the group was a huge help in sifting through my despair.

[veggieburger]

Thanks for sharing, everyone. This has been a touching and insightful thread...glad we can all share more than just our cycling.

[echelon_john]

Um, no.

Originally Posted by Greatwhite

Thats pretty selfish friend.

You have no idea what others are going through.

To want them to continue living a terrible life just so you can feel "better" about your "life" is not a good attitude.

It says your life is terrible and you cannot face the fact that some prefer to end theirs than to live unhappily.

It is not your right to even have an opinion about what others should do with their life.

[froze]

Originally Posted by soulspinner

Lost my little bro to suicide in 1989. A stronger cyclist I never met. He got me into the sport. He hid his depression. First rate engineer with what everyone thought was a brilliant future. I found an after suicide group helpful to the extent I began to co facilitate the group and help others that lost someone to suicide. At least for me the group was a huge help in sifting through my despair.

I'm glad you sought help, a lot of people just can't handle such dispair, there's nothing wrong with that by the way, everyone is wired differently, that doesn't make one person better than another, it's what makes us human. My wife had to go through 2 years of counseling after that same daughter that tried to commit sucide attempted to burn down our house while we were sleeping, fortunately she failed and only burned a small rug, but she poured gasoline all over the carpet downstairs destroying about 5k in carpeting, she didn't think about making a gasoline trail from the carpet along the floor to the backdoor so when she lit the rug just the rug burned. So after that my wife suffered from PTSD and still has some lingering effects of that after 8 years, I went through a whole heck of lot worse things then that over the years and like those things it didn't phase me, my wife even took me into the first session because she couldn't believe it didn't bother me, and the counselor said after the first session I was fine and I didn't need to return. I've always had an weird ability to compartmentalize stuff in my head, doesn't mean I wasn't sad or upset by her actions, it just means I didn't allow it to consume me by giving it attention.

[tctyres]

Originally Posted by Ti Designs

...
I was talking to a friend with RA, and his frustration is exactly the same thing - people can't see an obvious problem, they assume there isn't one.

Ti, have you sought out a good psychiatrist? One with deep training, such as having a NYC or LA connection on their CV? Generally, the cities act as attractors for people with various problems because of the advantages of public transportation and social services. The result is that the psychiatrists see a lot of unusual cases.

...
If my theory about suicide it correct, if it's a long term rational decision about a problem that can't be solved, you're looking for long term frustration to the point of destructive behavior.

It's rationalization of an irrational set of fears. What is going on in someone's head is real and needs to be addressed. A combination of therapy and medication is helpful. Typically, people can make noticeable progress with a good therapist and proper medications in a matter of months.

Lastly, suicides and mass shootings are two sides of the same coin.....

There are a lot of similarities: delusions and psychoses. They are not necessarily the same thing, but a good psychiatrist would know how to work with either set of patients.

[rallizes]

I don't have too much to offer except my sympathy for all who have been touched by suicide and or depression.

And one other thing.

Reading this:

"If my theory about suicide is correct, if it's a long term rational decision about a problem that can't be solved, you're looking for long term frustration to the point of destructive behavior."

reminded me a something that has stuck with me over many years.

In article about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge a guy who actually survived the jump said the following:

“I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”

[froze]

Originally Posted by rallizes

I don't have too much to offer except my sympathy for all who have been touched by suicide and or depression.

And one other thing.

Reading this:

"If my theory about suicide is correct, if it's a long term rational decision about a problem that can't be solved, you're looking for long term frustration to the point of destructive behavior."

reminded me a something that has stuck with me over many years.

In article about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge a guy who actually survived the jump said the following:

“I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”

I'm not a professional psychiatrist even though it was me that diagnosed my daughter as schizophrenia but her psychiatrist said he was the professional and she didn't have that...it wasn't till she got to the youth center did they finally diagnose with schizophrenia! Anyway, I'm not sure if I agree with this theory of a long term frustration point 100%, because I know of another teen that killed herself after being cyberbullied just one time! She got bullied, went to school to find everyone was laughing at her, went home and blew her head off with a shotgun, this situation took a span of about 2 days, I understand from others in regards to this death that others have done the same thing in a rather short period of time. I'm no expert but it seems that to say sucide evolves over a long period of time just doesn't seem correct to me, not sure what percentage of the sucides is long term vs short term frustration, but to me there seems to be a definite short term frustration that leads to sucide.

That guy that jumped off the bridge is surprisingly correct, most people kill themselves because they can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, yet if they had just stopped and waited the light was just around the corner and sometimes as soon as the very next hour or the next day. For my daughter her attempts were due to voices in her head telling her to kill herself and I know there are others like her. I also have known vets who killed themselves after years of mental anguish, that is indeed a long term frustration. I think for some vets it's different, they think they did something so horrible that there is no forgiveness, there is no rational or moral reason for what they did even though they were given orders to do so, whatever they did gnaws at them until one day they can't take it anymore and end it, but usually that takes years to manifest itself to a sucide.

I had a good friend who was vet who raised 3 girls, they all graduated from college, when the last one graduated he took his 45 and killed himself; his wife even said she had a feeling that he was only alive to make sure the girls would be ok; in battle though he was strong physically and mentally, he was the only person I wanted by my side; he survived many battles without any long term physical harm but lost the battle of his mind, which like his wife I too knew he was in a long term battle, he had even gone VA counselors for help at his wife's and mine urging, and he did go for a few years but it didn't do any good. Damm it, I gone on to long about something probably not relevant to the post, sorry if I bored you all, maybe I just needed to vent.