RIP Kelly Catlin

[DRietz]

The article in the New York Times reads to me as though Kelly Catlin could have had some underlying mental illness besides depression, which was likely present far before her more recent head injuries.

Given the highly intelligent parents and the fact that she was a triplet, I would not be surprised if there was some sort of genetic component to this tragedy.

[fiamme red]

Originally Posted by DRietz

The article in the New York Times reads to me as though Kelly Catlin could have had some underlying mental illness besides depression, which was likely present far before her more recent head injuries.

Given the highly intelligent parents and the fact that she was a triplet, I would not be surprised if there was some sort of genetic component to this tragedy.

The Times article mentioned some interesting things about her relationships with other people and her obsession with memorization:

Kelly Catlin also began to limit her social interactions to “robotic social motions,” as Catlin herself put it in the January note to family and friends. Around third grade, Catlin established her lifelong code to live by and included some of it in the note, which was shared with The New York Times:

Fear not physical discomfort. Never love. Never engage in a relationship that could be defined as having a significant other. (In my case, a so-called “boyfriend.”) Never allow yourself to become close enough to another that their actions or inactions might cause you (any amount of) distress or pain. If kindness and gentleness are at all an option, they are the only option.

“We all knew that she didn’t like to express her emotions,” Christine Catlin said. “She never really told anyone how she ever felt, until the very end, that is.”

She was drawn to the science of cycling. She wasn’t comfortable with the social aspect of it. In the notes she wrote in her final weeks, she acknowledged not having many friends.

“It’s not that she didn’t want friends,” her brother said. “It was just a matter of priorities. And her priority was to be successful and respected.”

Like her siblings, Catlin could not stand to be hugged, family members said. She would rather bury herself in a book than chat with peers. She had a playful sense of humor — often dark humor — within her family circle, but rarely showed it to outsiders.

She would remember dozens of license plates of cars passing her and would recite the number pi to hundreds of decimals, Colin Catlin said. She mapped out training routes in her head.

I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like Asperger’s Syndrome.

[nooneline]

I think it might be a respectful move to stop speculative retroactive diagnosing Kelly over the internet.

[DRietz]

Originally Posted by nooneline

I think it might be a respectful move to stop speculative retroactive diagnosing Kelly over the internet.

Given your personal connection to Catlin, I understand where you're coming from. If you would allow me the same understanding, please realize that I mean no disrespect.

As someone who is in a continuing pursuit of a more thorough understanding of my own depression, and who has thought long and hard about the implications of mental illness in my family (alzheimer's, epilepsy, schizophrenia, addiction, and more), I brought up my speculation because I certainly wish that someone would have given more notice to the environment and the ways in which I grew up. I feel like had I found a word or a level of support for my inner turmoil at such a young age, I would have had more of an ability to overcome the dark moments when they mattered.

There is so much about us that is so telling. And it's unfortunate, in my mind, that people only start to connect those dots (as her parents tried to do, in autopsying her brain) once it's too late.

So, yes, while it might seem uncouth of me to try and figure out what was "wrong," I'm ultimately just trying to advocate for being present in the lives of people you care about.

[buddybikes]

>>I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like Asperger’s Syndrome.

I agree as parent of Asperger's adult. We can't determine anything now, other than we lost a great cyclist, mathematician and sure many other attributes.

I have worried about my daughter a bit, but fortunately she has found another brilliant Aspergers partner who understands how her brain functions. Frustrating as parents, not to know.

[fiamme red]

Originally Posted by nooneline

I think it might be a respectful move to stop speculative retroactive diagnosing Kelly over the internet.

I didn't mean to diagnose her. But I have a hard time believing as her parents do, that all was well with her until she had a concussion, after which she became depressed and suicidal.

People who are socially isolated, as she was, are at a much higher risk of depression. Also, if she did have Asperger's, there was a study in The Lancet a few years ago that pointed to a significantly higher suicide risk in people with Asperger's.

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/l...248-2/fulltext

"Our findings lend support to anecdotal reports of increased rates of suicidal ideation in adults with Asperger's syndrome, and depression as an important potential risk factor for suicidality in adults with this condition. Because adults with Asperger's syndrome often have many risk factors for secondary depression (e.g., social isolation or exclusion, and unemployment), our findings emphasise the need for appropriate service planning and support to reduce risk in this clinical group."

[fiamme red]

Interesting article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/sport...=.2ae9680a65ff. She might have been helped by therapy, but she refused to go.

She suspected that she had major depressive disorder, though to her seeking therapy was another show of weakness. “I would rather suffer than ask for help,” she wrote, going on to describe her delight in the problems her death would cause Team USA and some thoughts about her upbringing.

At one point, she filled four pages with her thoughts.
“Principle: If I am not an athlete, I am nothing,” she wrote at the end. “Principle: If I am in therapy, I have failed.”

[Hawker]

So very sad. As parents, siblings, friends....what do we do?

RIP Kelly.

[kiwisimon]

What do we do? I guess look at Kelly's life and use the lessons learned in it's sad conclusion to help others. Sincere condolences to her loved ones and I truly hope she is resting in peace.

[glepore]

Thanks for sharing the link. Perhaps the saddest thing I've read in a long time.

Reach out and hug the ones you love.

[SlowPokePete]

Just so sad.

SPP

[marciero]

Incredible story. Incredibly sad.

[mcteague]

Reading this line from her suicide note nearly broke me. After years of pushing people away and avoiding close human contact she wrote:

“I do desire to be valued, to be special, to have great power and responsibility. But, beyond all else, I desire ‘love and connection.’ ”

Tim