OT: Reasons to get married?

[OtayBW]

...And yet some of this is why folks sometimes get estranged from their parents (or others). Doesn't have to happen for spite, but sometimes simply for necessity....

[Ozz]

Originally Posted by AngryScientist

.... it's nice having a support system of family around when raising kids. let's face it, ..., but they probably just want what;s best for ya.

+100

Raising kids is unpredictable....having people around that that support you is invaluable.

FWIW - the best people (friends and family) are the ones that bring you food, clean the house, do laundry for you and offer to take care of the baby so you can get a full 8 hours of sleep.

[pdonk]

I find the idea of getting married for health insurance an interesting thing to consider.

In Ontario, after you cohabitate for 3 years or have a child you pretty much have the exact same legal rights as if you were married.

I have a coworker who jokes he has only been married once, but divorced three times.

I'd be most concerned about who makes decisions on my behalf if I become incapacitated and on behalf of my estate if I died without being married and the tax implications for my partner and child. Fortunately, I am married so these are generally taken care of, plus we have both have wills.

[benc]

Originally Posted by Pegoready

Good point. She works for a school district and gets much better health insurance than I do and we've talked about this being a mildly appealing reason to get married.

I know I'm chiming in late on this but my gf/ partner and I went down to the courthouse and got a certificate of domestic partnership for $30. Boom, now she is on my insurance.

Also, what makes your dad think he is so special?

[DRZRM]

My now wife and I were together for many years, we had both been in spectacularly unsuccessful marriages previously (To quote Cher, I gave my first wife the best months of my year!) and neither of us were looking to get married again. We did want to have children, and the reasons we chose to get married when we became pregnant were mostly for the protection of the kid (now kids) and for tax reasons, and especially spousal inheritance rights when one of us pass. Additionally, the right to visitation and to make medical decisions for each other in case of medical issues or death, easing international travel when one parent is traveling with kids but without the other parent (this can be a real issue and we both travel a lot for work), protection of parental rights in case we chose to separate. All of this can be done with a good lawer I suspect, but many things seem easier for married partners.

[Jeff N.]

Just make it a religious thing between the two of you, like you've been doing, it seems, and leave the state out of it. You're just fine. Or, as Willie Nelson has said, "All my life I've gotten along well with women. The trouble didn't start until I started marrying them".

[binxnyrwarrsoul]

Originally Posted by 54ny77

The most important question to consider is: is it a two-person Campy, Shimano or SRAM house, or will there be brand discord?

Post of the year.

[wallymann]

assured legal rights for your spouse and children in the event you're incapacitated or deceased.

also, there's something to be said about proclaiming someone as your life partner in a wedding ceremony. think of all the same-sex couples that have struggled for this right for so long. my now-wife and I were together for 14 years before getting married 10 years ago...it just felt right on so many levels. being able to share that event with those closest to us was unbelievably joyous as well.

[jojobos]

There is one reason in your situation to get married.

To make your parents happy.

How important is that to you? I would ask myself that if I was in your shoes.

Good luck!

[redir]

I know this is a late post and I didn't read all the replies but I was pretty much exactly like you were. My family app.lied more pressure to get married then her's but it wasn't really that bad. After 15 years they came to the conclusion that it's fine the way it is, especially since my brother got divorced and my sister is married to an ahole, so our unchristian living in sin was looking better and better each day.

But anyway we decided to do it and all I can say is, it was one hell of party. I got to see friends and relatives I had not seen in years and everyone had a blast. And my wife is on my insurance now, so there's that.

In the end I'm glad we did it. After 15 years we tied the knot. I'm not sure what is different now really, but something is, and we like it better that way.

[rinconryder]

Haven’t read all seven pages but yes there are legal benefits to getting married.

1. Insurance benefits
2. Inheritance - there are parent child exclusions for the purposes of property tax re assessments although may vary from state to state.
3. To exmeptions at death - portability although currently the exemption is huge and the need for portability applies to about 1% of the population.

So in short yes I would get married if you are in fact committed to one another for life

[Gummee]

I didn't read all the posts either, but make sure that if you don't get married that there's a will, powers of attorney for health care as well as powers of attorney for anything else.

IOW: see an attorney.

M

[Gsinill]

Originally Posted by redir

I know this is a late post and I didn't read all the replies but I was pretty much exactly like you were. My family app.lied more pressure to get married then her's but it wasn't really that bad. After 15 years they came to the conclusion that it's fine the way it is, especially since my brother got divorced and my sister is married to an ahole, so our unchristian living in sin was looking better and better each day.

But anyway we decided to do it and all I can say is, it was one hell of party. I got to see friends and relatives I had not seen in years and everyone had a blast. And my wife is on my insurance now, so there's that.

In the end I'm glad we did it. After 15 years we tied the knot. I'm not sure what is different now really, but something is, and we like cit better that way.

Funny, exactly how it turned out for us sans your first paragraph.
It was 12 years before we finally got married.
She wanted to do it sooner, I saw no need. Always told her that I am as committed without a marriage license as I am with one.
At the end I agreed because I knew how much it meant to her and to make her happy.
As expected, for me nothing really changed emotionally or commitment wise.
Glad we did even though it feels as if we got screwed from a tax perspective.
Since the first year after being married we got hit with the AMT every single year, never happens to either one of us when we were single.

[wallymann]

this.

Originally Posted by redir

In the end I'm glad we did it. After 15 years we tied the knot. I'm not sure what is different now really, but something is, and we like it better that way.

[XXtwindad]

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/04/o...e-divorce.html

Really interesting article in todays NYT. Got me thinking about this vintage thread. I really think it’s time to expand what constitutes “family” and “commitment” - from both an emotional and legal perspective.

“There is a lot of hand-wringing currently about the decline of marriage in America. No matter that divorce rates have also gone down, and that when people are marrying, it is at later ages. Our culture may have changed to allow other ways for people to chart their lives, but whole industries and institutions — banking, real estate, health care, insurance, advertising and most important, taxation — revolve around assumptions of marriage as the norm. Without that base assumption, the logic of many of those transactions is thrown out.“