The New Style Stealth Roadie

[beeatnik]

1. Has always been messenger cool while actually not being acquainted with any working bike messengers.

2. Loves $5 cups of coffee.

3. Loves beers you'll hear about in 5 years.

4. His first piece of technical cycling apparel was a vintage wool cycling jersey.

5. Wears Rapha on at least 75% of his rides, yet is worried that it's jumped the shark. It troubles him greatly.

6. Thinks steel is real, rocks a Columbus cycling cap, rides a Tarmac.

7. Lusts for a Vanilla, Baum, Firefly, Sachs, Peg, Speedvagen, but would still secretly love his Tarmac more, even if he were given one of those porn-worthy alloy bikes.

8. Doesn't race. Is disdainful of bike racers and their self-serious training. This attitude leads him to spend 90% of his riding climbing.

9. Only likes to go fast if gravity does 90% of the work for him.

10. Takes many, many photos on his rides.

11. Races CX because, you know, it's fun and you get to act goofy.

12. Is a member of a CX team with a funny name.

13. Loves Campy, rides Red.

Has this creature migrated to your region?

[charliedid]

#8 is in direct conflict with #11

[Jason E]

Nah, that's the point. It's okay to new breed cause it is cross. It's a beer and mud festival, not a race to his 'new breed'.

Very funny, beetnik, thanks!

[Rada]

Originally Posted by Jason E

Very funny

Really?

[AngryScientist]

haha, i secretly fall into a few of those categories.

good laugh, thanks

[Kevan]

you forgot the body piercing or tattoo.

[Aaron O]

Originally Posted by beeatnik

1. Has always been messenger cool while actually not being acquainted with any working bike messengers.

2. Loves $5 cups of coffee.

3. Loves beers you'll hear about in 5 years.

4. His first piece of technical cycling apparel was a vintage wool cycling jersey.

5. Wears Rapha on at least 75% of his rides, yet is worried that it's jumped the shark. It troubles him greatly.

6. Thinks steel is real, rocks a Columbus cycling cap, rides a Tarmac.

7. Lusts for a Vanilla, Baum, Firefly, Sachs, Speedvagen, but would still secretly love his Tarmac more, even if he were given one of those porn-worthy alloy bikes.

8. Doesn't race. Is disdainful of bike racers and their self-serious training. This attitude leads him to spend 90% of his riding climbing.

9. Only likes to go fast if gravity does 90% of the work for him.

10. Takes many, many photos on his rides.

11. Races CX because, you know, it's fun and you get to act goofy.

12. Is a member of a CX team with a funny name.

13. Loves Campy, rides Red.

Has this creature migrated to your region?

I tend not to worry about what others like or are into. Everyone is silly...I know my house is glass.

[benitosan1972]

Hipsters like to make fun of other hipsters, it's like laughing at yourself while watching Portlandia... so how many of those are you guilty of Beetnik?

I agree with Aaron O 100%, just watch yourself & MYOB

[fourflys]

good post, I like it!

[kinofaucet]

kinda describes me... not bad

[alexstar]

Pretty common in the Bay Area... although "Cross" could easily be replaced with "Randonneur"

[benitosan1972]

The list omitted the most important features of a messenger cyclist: facial hair, body jewelry, and tattoos. Oh, also riding in wool knickers and non-prescription glasses and shopping at Whole Foods

[beeatnik]

Also, forgot to mention that their holy trinity is Merckx, Coppi and Pantani.

Anyway, I'm glad you guys got the humor. I actually like seeing these cats on the road and was wondering if they've migrated outside of SF, NY, LA, Austin, Seattle and Portland.

[velotel]

1. Has always been messenger cool while actually not being acquainted with any working bike messengers.
Haven’t a clue what messenger cool means; never been cool anywhere else so I think I escape that. On the other hand Sacha White did spend a few nights at my house; not sure if that’s good or not but he was a messenger once.
2. Loves $5 cups of coffee. You’re kidding, right! 5$ for a coffee. Good thing there’s no inflation stateside.
3. Loves beers you'll hear about in 5 years. I’d read that high speed connections in the states are pretty slow but come on, 5 years worth of slowness! Or is that how long the lawsuit against the beer for whatever reason takes.
4. His first piece of technical cycling apparel was a vintage wool cycling jersey. Oops, got me there. Then again it was kind of a Henry Ford affair, you know, any color as long as it’s black.
5. Wears Rapha on at least 75% of his rides, yet is worried that it's jumped the shark. It troubles him greatly. Now I know I’m glad I can’t afford Rapha (admitting otherwise I’d surely be guilty here). It’s that jumped the shark deal that thows me off. Jump the shark?
6. Thinks steel is real, rocks a Columbus cycling cap, rides a Tarmac. What’s a Tarmac? For sure steel is real, just less real than ti. I mean with ti you don’t even need to ride!
7. Lusts for a Vanilla, Baum, Firefly, Sachs, Peg, Speedvagen, but would still secretly love his Tarmac more, even if he were given one of those porn-worthy alloy bikes. Uh, what’s a Tarmac? Those women have some strange names to be lusting after.
8. Doesn't race. Is disdainful of bike racers and their self-serious training. This attitude leads him to spend 90% of his riding climbing. At last I’ve discovered why I’m always going up. Been wondering for years.
9. Only likes to go fast if gravity does 90% of the work for him. Hey, give me a break, my big gear is a 50-12; gravity is stronger than I am.
10. Takes many, many photos on his rides. Oops, got me there, big time.
11. Races CX because, you know, it's fun and you get to act goofy. CX = fun = goofy ? Sounds okay to me.
12. Is a member of a CX team with a funny name. Member? Like an arm or a leg?
13. Loves Campy, rides Red. What’s red?

[beeatnik]

^Pour overs are $5 at Intelligentsia. When it comes to beers, regular guys are slow to try new stuff. My brother just discovered Stella. He calls it fancy beer. As for the rest, these guys:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raphacc/2965566814/