OT: Graduation presents

[PaMtbRider]

Do something special together with your son. That will mean a lot more down the road than anything material you can give him. It doesn't sound like your son is currently lacking or in need of any material possessions.

I was very fortunate that my father was also an avid cyclist. His 50th birthday coincided with my high school graduation. As a present for the both of us we spent 5 weeks together and cycled across the US.

35 years later this means much more to me than a car, watch, or anything else he could have given me.

[weisan]

PaMtb pal gets it.

Nothing wrong with wanting to mark the occasion. Life is a journey filled with landmarks, milestones, era, phases. It's what we do as humans.

Meaningful things in life or at least those that make an impact takes a certain level of effort and intentionality.

I would write a letter as a father to a son. Things that I want to pass on, things that I want to say, thngs that need to be said.

Take him out individually for dinner or to a place of special meaning to you both and give that letter to him.

You said he's super down to earth. This should work.

[giverdada]

first: congratulations to your son. whether or not it is perceived as an accomplishment, graduating from high school is still important. and i think it's great that you're marking it as an occasion. that was the last day i lived in my parents' house, so it's a pretty big deal from standpoints other than 'academic'.

second: as a 3/8 filipino guy who doesn't look anything other than irish (thanks ma), rice has been my favourite food for as long as i can remember. when i graduated, my parents bought me a rice cooker. i can't even tell you how important it has been in my life. that was almost 20 years ago, and it's still in daily use. helped me meet people in first year (you have a rice cooker? can we cook some rice?). helped me learn to cook for the love of my life, a gluten-free vegetarian beauty with an amazing mind and kind soul (i knew one vegetarian meal back then, and it was on rice). is essential to all those allen lim recipes for on the go bike food. and we're using it again tonight for buddha bowls for our whole family. 20 years of cooking rice, man! amazing!

third: i think useful gifts with longevity are best, mostly because they do serve as a reminder of the occasion and the step in Life, and also because if they are useful, they can be used often, and thus remind, often, of the importance of steps in Life, and growing up, and being loved, and putting in the work because work is good. (computers are useful, but soon not. the computer i started out my undergrad with died in third year and took all of my undergrad work with it. planned obselescence or not, this was a heartbreak and academic crisis.)

give'r. and happy graduation!

[GregL]

When my daughter graduated high school last year, we got her a digital SLR camera and zoom telephoto lens. She's always enjoyed art and photography, so this was an easy choice. The camera will help her gather memories of the places life takes her.

Greg

[tumbler]

Originally Posted by d_douglas

yeah, I don't get trashing kids for graduating. To a 17yr old, its a big accomplishment. Lots of encouragement and a gift is perfectly OK for me. Sure, they need to move on with undergrad and grad school, jobs and grown up life, but belittling a kid for meeting one of life's first big accomplishments seems unnecessary.

Good points here. I like the idea of a trip or experience together, as long as it is for them as much as for you (ie. not dragging them along to your favorite destination). The suggestion of letting them choose a place is nice. Otherwise, something nice for one of their hobbies is generally appreciated.

As a point of reference, my parents took me to lunch at my hometown's interpretation of Benihana. I was pretty happy at the time

[HenryA]

Originally Posted by Tickdoc

My mother beat me to it and is taking him salmon fishing in Alaska this summer.

Should they need a companion for this expedition I will volunteer to accompany them, compensated only for my expenses incurred during the trip.

Let me know if they need my help.

Your old pal,
HenryA

[Bradford]

My folks gave me some red Chuck Taylor high tops. I really loved those sneakers.

[VTCaraco]

We were in your shoes last year.
We spoiled our son ~ an only child ~ so we were hard pressed to find something that felt celebratory and decadent that felt just-right to us.

We do home exchanges most summers, and told him that that trip and paying for College would be our gift to him ~ but I/we didn't feel like we celebrated the landmark as much as we should have.
I COMPLETELY agree that virtually EVERYONE graduates from high school at this point in time, but it's still a nice moment to celebrate.

I DID end up buying him a nice watch (a Stowa Antea) to celebrate the end of his first semester of College. We were incredibly proud of him for the transition that he made. He really matriculated with a lot of grace and balance.
He wasn't proud of his achievement for the fall semester, so has conceded that the watch feels unwarranted. That just makes me more proud of him and looking for more ways to honor his maturation.


Think about your son. Think about what would be impactful. Whether tangible or not, expensive or not, I would encourage you to find a way to thoroughly celebrate the moment. And I would also suggest that the celebration should be as much about you and his mom as it is about him.

[Lurvey]

I graduated from my undergrad a year ago. My dad got his everyday-wearing 50s Zenith watch refurbished and gave it to me. Best gift I've ever gotten.

[VTCaraco]

Per the watch and whether they'll lose it/use it/etc.

That was kind-of the point for me/us.
I bought him a nice Hamilton ~ second-hand through V-Salon, in fact ~ and I LOVE the way it taught him to appreciate nice things. It actually coaxed me to wear my automatic watch more and to stop treating it as a special-occasion-only item.
So consider that you're teaching and imparting principles and values as you give a gift ~ if that's the kind of person and relationship that you have.


As I mentioned, I love to spoil our son. I "upgraded" my wallet a few months ago when my puppy grabbed my Saddleback and gave it a few good chomps. When buying one (a Nisko), I picked out one for him, too. Threw a $20 bill in it and drove to his school and took him out for breakfast and gave him the wallet. I heard from him at least once a week for the next month telling me how much he liked the wallet. And he continues to tell me how much he appreciates it.

I'm pretty sure I'm teaching him a value for handmade things and taking good care of things, etc.

[msl819]

Originally Posted by Tickdoc

Got a son graduating high school here next month and I need to get him something for his achievement.

Curious what some of you have done in the past to mark the occasion?

(and don't say a car, he's got one

My first thought was a watch but his generation doesn't wear them. No bikes either. That would be a fun one, but sadly he has no interest there.

These threads on the forum fascinate me because they show how diverse a group we really are. That said, I graduated high school in 1994 and honestly 24 years ago HS graduation wasn’t much of an accomplishment. My oldest son is 9. My plan will be rather than celebrate an “accomplishment” that we both know isn’t that big of an accomplishment I plan to use it more as a milestone to call him into what lays ahead. I like the idea of something meaningful and a lifetime item that will allow me to call him up into something. I like the idea of using it as an opportunity to ceremoniously lay out what adulthood will be and from this point forward we expect him to be growing up into adulthood not hanging onto adolescence. A nice watch, fly rod, etc. would be something that hopefully he would hold onto for his lifetime and when he uses it, it would remind him of his call up and that his mother and I believe in him and that he has all that it take to be successful. 18 years old may not be as adult as it used to be but I want him to know which direction we expect him to be moving.

[buddybikes]

what do i get my daughter who is finishing grad school in 2 weeks? Never thought of it until reading this thread. Oh well, she got through without loans...

[bart998]

Originally Posted by Tickdoc

Ooh that's a good one. There are typically generous school discounts for them....I wonder how hard to prove it's for school prior to enrollment?

thank you.

I bet the college has an on-campus computer store... most do.

[Mzilliox]

Originally Posted by msl819

These threads on the forum fascinate me because they show how diverse a group we really are. That said, I graduated high school in 1994 and honestly 24 years ago HS graduation wasn’t much of an accomplishment. My oldest son is 9. My plan will be rather than celebrate an “accomplishment” that we both know isn’t that big of an accomplishment I plan to use it more as a milestone to call him into what lays ahead. I like the idea of something meaningful and a lifetime item that will allow me to call him up into something. I like the idea of using it as an opportunity to ceremoniously lay out what adulthood will be and from this point forward we expect him to be growing up into adulthood not hanging onto adolescence. A nice watch, fly rod, etc. would be something that hopefully he would hold onto for his lifetime and when he uses it, it would remind him of his call up and that his mother and I believe in him and that he has all that it take to be successful. 18 years old may not be as adult as it used to be but I want him to know which direction we expect him to be moving.

dig this idea and concept in general.

[Plum Hill]

Originally Posted by Louis

Has he traveled much overseas?

If not, I'd say a two-week trip to someplace completely different from what he's used to. Broaden his horizons a bit.

I whole heartedly agree with this idea.
Send him to Europe for the summer. Better yet, help him get a job pushing the snack cart on SBB (Swiss Federal Railways) trains. He’ll make a few bucks, engage people of various nationalities, and broaden his view of the world.

I’ve always thought making an 18 year old decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life was a bit much to ask. Something like the above or Peace Corps-type involvement would do much to expand his intellect and see the world.