Riding when your spouse is injured

[malbecman]

Long story but currently my wife is dealing with a chronic hip injury. She's got a new PT and a plan but rehab is going to be a long haul, (esp since we're both in our 50s now and don't bounce back so quickly anymore)

We're both pretty active so she's also having to fight the mental battle of not being able to really exercise anymore, being upset/depressed when there's no progress, etc.

I still go out and ride but find myself doing more maintenance rides. I hardly feel like I can come back and be like "Wow, I just crushed that 60 miler.." and the joy is a little flat for me with her laid up.

Any of you deal with an ailing spouse/SO and did you find anything useful? Thanks.

[rwsaunders]

Perhaps an ebike might serve to get her out and about with you? I ride with a fellow who’s wife just started a 4 month chemo program and she’s an active outdoors person. We just started riding earlier…stop at my house or his house for a post-ride coffee and they head out for walks where she doesn’t have to contact too many people because of her compromised immune system.

[marciero]

My partner just had breast cancer surgery and cant do a lot of things for herself yet. If anything, she is sensitive to the burden on me as sole caregiver and wants me to go out and do my thing. Anything short of putting someone else on the back of the tandem is fine. Speaking of which, her riding is almost exclusively with me on the tandem, and depending on what the future holds for follow up treatment-if it involves chemo, etc.- I am hopeful that we can continue to do that once she recovers from the trauma of surgery. As bad as cancer is, it's different in your case because cutting back or eliminating certain activities is part of the recovery plan.

[Steve in SLO]

I've dealt with it before and would suggest time with her doing what she can/wants to do, and support any new hobbies she wants to take up during her down time. After she's taken care of to HER satisfaction, go crush your 60 miler. If/when she asks about your ride, "It was OK. Do you need anything?" makes for a perfectly good answer.

[malbecman]

Thanks, those are all so good replies and give me food for thought.

The E-bike has come up as a future possibility so I'll keep that idea afloat.

I guess I need to mentally compartmentalize my needs/my time a little more and then just leave that outside the door when I come home. She certainly doesnt want to stop me doing my thing and enjoying myself. Its more my feeling a little guilty, I suppose, and seeing her struggling more.

Its just a little tough and a bit of a change after 27 yrs together.

[buddybikes]

e-bike. It has really improved my life. Learn about them, there is Chinese crap and their is top end (mine is Alchemy) and of course Trek and Specialized. Trek uses Fauza which is in my Alchemy - feels very natural, just like taking 15 years off my body. Trying to convince wife, but she isn't biting so far.

Hardest thing of course is finding one.

[malbecman]

[QUOTE=Hardest thing of course is finding one.[/QUOTE]

So I've heard! Thanks for the tips, I'll be sure to look for quality...

[Louis]

Are there any activities she can do with minimal impact on her hip?

Swimming? Weight lifting? (core and upper body stuff) Yoga?

If so, you guys could do them together, which might be fun.

[malbecman]

Unfortunately, its pretty minimal activities....mostly just her PT exercises. She can walk for up to 1/2 mile before it flares so we do lots of dog walking. The dogs are loving it.

Originally Posted by Louis

Are there any activities she can do with minimal impact on her hip?

Swimming? Weight lifting? (core and upper body stuff) Yoga?

If so, you guys could do them together, which might be fun.

[booglebug]

Wife just coming off knee replacement ( second on the same knee) 8 weeks ago. Like your wife was active walker and till the knee gave out and had her first replacement, down hill from there, missed being active terribly. It’s been a tough 3 years but think she got a good knee this time as she’s already planning ahead. One thing I will add is she has always supported my riding and being active even though I would feel guilty at times. Had been playing nurse the first 6 weeks and hanging around the house helping out till I got the “ sermon “ that I need to get out and start riding! Think she’s almost back to her old self, it’s been tough on her mentally

[malbecman]

Thanks for the reply and sounds like we were dealing with some similar feelings...she prolly saw you being morose and gave you the sermon to get you out of her hair. (?). Thanks for sharing, and I wish her a full recovery.

[J.Higgins]

Originally Posted by malbecman

Long story but currently my wife is dealing with a chronic hip injury. She's got a new PT and a plan but rehab is going to be a long haul, (esp since we're both in our 50s now and don't bounce back so quickly anymore)

We're both pretty active so she's also having to fight the mental battle of not being able to really exercise anymore, being upset/depressed when there's no progress, etc.

I still go out and ride but find myself doing more maintenance rides. I hardly feel like I can come back and be like "Wow, I just crushed that 60 miler.." and the joy is a little flat for me with her laid up.

Any of you deal with an ailing spouse/SO and did you find anything useful? Thanks.

I can definitely relate to this. We're in our 60's now, and definitely do not heal as fast or as well as we did in our youth. About three years ago, I had my wife help me unload a bunch of cinder blocks that I was using for the foundation of a new shed. She did great, but complained afterwards about "a knot" just under her left shoulderblade. This went on for weeks and all of my attempts to run it out were to no avail. Her pain kept steadily increasing over the following weeks until she was literally in tears.

After many visits to the quackery, an MRI revealed that she had a congenital bone-loss issue with some of her cervical vertebrae (neck). Unloading the heavy concrete blocks was the tipping point for this. Who knows how many more years she would have gotten if she hadn't helped me that day?

She got scheduled for surgery that replaced some bone with donor material, and fused a couple vertebrae. After a few months of rehab and healing she was able to get back on a bike, but the lower range of motion in her neck has seriously necessitated the addition of mirrors for her bikes. She just can't swivel her head around like most of us, and she obviously wants to be safe in traffic.

Its funny in a way. You can't tell that she has any issue whatsoever until you ask her to turn and look at something, and then she swivels her torso a tiny bit - almost imperceptible, but noticeable if you know about it. Otherwise you'd think it was a normal thing for her, which is is now.

The really funny part is how she feels about herself. She feels like she is a zombie and does nothing but stare at people because of her neck and how it doesnt move like it used to. She thinks she stares at people because of it, and nothing could be further from the truth, but I still like to eff with her and tell her to stop staring at me and stuff like that.

No problems with her not being able to ride the bikes now - she'll smoke me sometimes. After a bad day at work, she'll come home and get on a bike and its hard for me to catch her!

[malbecman]

Good for her to smoke you once in awhile and I'm glad to hear she's riding again.
Definitely need to keep the longer term view on this...she just gets down when she feels like its not healing "fast" enough..its sometimes 1 step fwd, 2 steps back.