When "X" no longer defines you.

[pdonk]

Originally Posted by benb

This is awesome to hear, but did the doctors every figure out what was wrong?

Sounds like a season to celebrate!

No diagnosis, they think it may have been some sort of viral infection. The language they used was it has "resolved" itself and not "presented" itself in a way that they could figure out what it was.

Realistically, I am about 95% physically and 75% mentally. The decrease in acuity is harder to come to grips with then losing a year of riding.

[OtayBW]

Originally Posted by pdonk

After last year, and still wondering what happened to me, it is nice to return to a sense of normalcy in terms of physical activity and how I feel about my self and riding.

As someone with an puzzling and unresolved medical issue that has limited my riding severely, I'm glad to hear you're back on track.

[AngryScientist]

Nice.

In general nothing to be embarrassed or worried about taking some time off and coming back to rebuild. Sometimes that’s the fun part; watching the fitness progress.

[jamesdak]

Glad to hear things are coming around for you and congrats!

I totally failed at "coming back" from my 2nd knee replacement this year as planned. Due to several health reasons.

But I plan to keep after it and am hoping for a better year next year. But to be honest it hasn't bothered me that much to not be riding as fast as I'm used to. It's thought me that even a slow, chilled out ride on a bike is still a good day.

Positives in life exist everywhere. We just need to find them.

[JMT3]

First I was a runner. Then I was a runner that cycled too, duathlons. Hit age 50 and the bulging discs at S1 and L5 turned me into a cyclist that sometimes runs very slowly. I used to get mad if I wasn’t running 6 minute or below miles and now I’m excited when I get under ten minutes per mile. Now neck pain keeps me in check but I still ride. Now at almost 68 I can give the sub 30 crowd a run for their money on good days. I like who I am and need to periodically adjust that.

Life can and does get in the way of life.

[mhespenheide]

I had my first child late in life, at 47, five years ago. Before that point, I ran a lot, cycled a lot, backpacked a lot, and took a lot of road trips. Basically all of that went away after my son was born. Don't get me wrong: he's fantastic, and I wouldn't change it for the world. And things are slowly starting to creep back.

But I still struggle, sometimes a lot, with not being the person I was before he was born. I had that former identity for 25-30 years and I've only had this identity for five years.

And that's something we took on voluntarily, trying to think about what was going to have to change. It must be even harder when the change is imposed from the outside, whether by injury or accident or otherwise.

[dave thompson]

Originally Posted by zmalwo

muscle mass can be easily regained so i wouldn't stress too much about it.

Really?

[tommyrod74]

Originally Posted by pdonk

No diagnosis, they think it may have been some sort of viral infection. The language they used was it has "resolved" itself and not "presented" itself in a way that they could figure out what it was.

Realistically, I am about 95% physically and 75% mentally. The decrease in acuity is harder to come to grips with then losing a year of riding.

It's not the same situation, but I sustained a hip fx (and subsequent total arthroplasty) 6 years ago. I went from 12,000 miles a year (road and MTB) to zero; I needed to rebuild my hip but also to re-evaluate who I was outside of pedaling. I had raced for 12 years straight at that point, to a fairly respectable level in amateur XC and road. I went through a separation and eventual divorce during this same time, and began a new job. Everything changed.

I took 2.5 years (by choice; I could have gotten on the bike at 10 weeks post-op or so) to redefine myself a bit. I lifted weights, threw myself into a new career, took fatherhood more seriously, and started a new relationship. My now ex-wife remarked at one point that my legs were no longer shaved (I hadn't failed to do so regularly for 12 years). I replied "I'm not a cyclist anymore".

I waited until I missed riding a bike (not the same as missing "being known as a fast cyclist"; that came much sooner) before starting to ride again.

A year later, I was winning races again, but with a better perspective on who I was as a person outside of cycling. I'm still riding and racing, and lifting, and working hard to be the best father I can be, as well as a great partner to the woman I'll marry the day after Christmas this year. I ride with ~60% of the hours I used to log; it's enough and I'm happier for it.

It will come back to you if you want it. Be patient and eventually you'll realize that even seemingly insurmountable adversity can be a gift to a dedicated athlete. A year is insignificant in the final analysis, though it feels like forever at the time. I hope your recovery continues and that you find a new balance.

Edited to add: I recognize I'm lucky compared with many of you in that my injury wasn't chronic nor irrecoverable. I am thankful I can do what I can, and I hope everyone here can find happiness with what they are still able to do and enjoy.

[Fat Cat]

I've never been so narrowly focused that I felt I was defined by what I did/do. The surgical time outs were certainly bothersome but not destructive in any way. I have options other than bikes for things to do.
However I apparently have been defined as an asshole for most of my life and that has proven difficult to amend.

[kgreene10]

I have thought about this occasionally over the past two years since I broke four vertebrae, both scapula, and assorted other bones.

In the early weeks and months, I had to push questions about identity out of my mind because it could have wrecked me. I needed all my energies to mitigate pain and focus on regaining basic function.

As time went on, two comparisons have helped me keep a positive outlook. I easily could have been paralyzed or died. The fact that I’m on two feet and can lead a fairly active life with my family is huge.

The other comparison resulted from an experience shortly after my accident. I needed to be fitted for a custom brace that extended from my navel to my neck. It was made by a company that deals with prosthetics. Most of the staff and all the other clients in the facility were missing limbs. Yet they all showed me so much sympathy and kindness. I was clearly the lucky one.

[fourflys]

Originally Posted by kgreene10

The other comparison resulted from an experience shortly after my accident. I needed to be fitted for a custom brace that extended from my navel to my neck. It was made by a company that deals with prosthetics. Most of the staff and all the other clients in the facility were missing limbs. Yet they all showed me so much sympathy and kindness. I was clearly the lucky one.

not sure if this is where you were going with this, but this a common feeling a lot of Vets with PTSD or other mental health issues have when going to a VA clinic to get care feel like.. esp if that care can result in a VA disability payment.. they will often feel "less than" based on the other Vets they see that are physically altered.. from what I've been told, it can take a lot of therapy to get these folks to a place to just feel like like they deserve the care.. the mind and "self" is a tricky place for sure.. what we see as one way is often very different than others see or feel..

sounds like you came out the other side in a good way, kudos to that!!

[kgreene10]

Originally Posted by fourflys

not sure if this is where you were going with this, but this a common feeling a lot of Vets with PTSD or other mental health issues have when going to a VA clinic to get care feel like.. esp if that care can result in a VA disability payment.. they will often feel "less than" based on the other Vets they see that are physically altered.. from what I've been told, it can take a lot of therapy to get these folks to a place to just feel like like they deserve the care.. the mind and "self" is a tricky place for sure.. what we see as one way is often very different than others see or feel..

sounds like you came out the other side in a good way, kudos to that!!

Thank you for this. I’m usually pretty self-reflective but it hadn't occurred to me that I might have been undermining my own care. I do think that elements of my after-accident care were lackluster, including what I think was a costly error by the consulting orthopedic surgeon in the ER. I have no idea if I could have achieved a better outcome. I have sought rehab care on my own from a number of sources. I do wish I had more guidance in that process, which I suspect will be lifelong.

[deluz]

2023 was basically a lost year for me and not the first one.
The last few decades I have been plagued by injuries and health problems including a heart attack in 2020.
In 2023 I rode a total of 800 miles mostly in the spring at which time I started to have leg pain, fatigue and insomnia. Even a ride of 5 miles was taxing. I saw my cardiologist and he recommended an angiogram which was done on August 1. He found two blocked arteries and placed two stents bringing the the total to six. Afterwards the pain in my legs persisted and I did not start doing any riding until the end of last year. I saw a neurologist who ran many tests and told me he could not find a reason for the pain in my legs. He said it could be something called small fiber neuropathy and it could be confirmed by doing a skin biopsy but even if it was positive it would not give the cause and there are few treatments.
During this year I was able to carefully and slowly increase my cycling. Currently I am up to 30 miles with some moderate hills which seemed impossible even a few months ago. I am not where I was in 2022 but I am optimistic I can continue to improve if I do things right and not over do it.
There was also speculation that the cholesterol drugs I am on could be causing the pain, but i don't really have a choice to stop taking them and since the pain has improved from last year it makes me doubt that theory. The pain is still there but it is less severe and is not stopping me from making progress like it was last year.
I figure it will take another year to reach my best fitness.