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Old 01-11-2018, 10:47 AM
bking bking is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Madrid Spain, until January '23
Posts: 744
There are lots of victims in a suicide, and each path to some kind of healing will be different, but definitely long and arduous. I served in a leadership position in my church for some years a while back, and one member lost her husband, the father of four kids, to suicide. I read several books to try to understand how to help. One was written by a woman who lost her husband and I'll always remember her remarking how people would avoid discussing or bringing up the subject months or years later. We don't know what to say, we're afraid to bring up tender or difficult subjects; but, she said it was always the elephant in the room, and silence regarding her loss was even more difficult than talking about it.
Talk to them, talk about the child lost, good times, good memories. Sometimes they want to talk, sometimes they don't; but it's always present in their heart.
Death, by disease, accident or old age, is almost always tempered by the passage of a year or two. Loss by suicide plays by completely different rules.
My condolences to you and your friends.
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