Not quite the long time lurker level Jormungandr managed but I may still qualify.
* real name: Drew Cress, I'm the son of Mike (aka exonerve)
* where do you live: North Carolina ... rolling farmland
* explanation of your handle:
Breakfast of Champions
* age: 28
* occupation: Lazy #*(@ or seasonal work at a lodge in Alaska
* favorite bike: Colnago C40
* what's in your stable? C40, Salsa Campeon, Novara Ponderosa 29er
* fastest on a road bike... not fast enough
* how many miles ON THE ROAD on a road bike last year? Not sure, 2.5k ish? Ended up missing a far bit of the summer as I was needed elsewhere.
* photo: that is a good question
* biggest lie: I took a Strava KOM from Mark Minn
* Make up and answer one: Kinda surprised this wasn't in the suggested q&a but my height 6'8" ~ 6'9"
* something fun: I ride with my dad