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1 Flexibility of expectations for you and her.
You will change. She will change. If you expect everything to be as it was before you got married, if you expect everything to be as it was even 10 minutes ago, you will fail. Expect everything to change. But understand that everything changes NOT because you got married but because change is the only constant.
2 Ability to function separately and together.
There will be times when she is hammered at work and cannot give you any attention besides a quick peck on the cheek. You need to be able to understand that it's not about you. and vice-versa. There will be times when you are stuck together at you absolute worst, say, you are both swamped at work and you've both managed to catch the same stomach flu. You need to be able to get through that.
3 Understanding that the grass is not greener.
You will get fat. She will get out of shape. You will have a kid and you won't have sex for a year. You need to be able to tell yourself that it's just a phase, you are in it for the long haul no matter how unpleasant it is right now it's more pleasant than getting a divorce.
4 You need to remove the rose tinted glasses when looking at how things were before you got married.
Remember how boring and uncomfortable being single was. Remember the "joy" of dating. Remember that being single basically sucked 24-7 except that you could ride more and leave the toilet seat up.
Talk, be honest, when you are scared let her know.
That's been good so far for me. Not perfect, but not bad.
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