Quote:
Originally Posted by tomato coupe
The guys from TheProsCloset hang out at one of the local bike stops, appraising bikes and putting tiny stickers on the ones they like. They told me they were just trying to save some time, since they were going to buy every used bike on the planet eventually.
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I hear they're sending people out on group rides to slip Airtags into peoples' saddlebags if they see a bike they like. Next thing the door-to-door TPC salesman is at your house making you an offer you won't refuse. A leaked internal email confirmed that the 2023 Q1 target for TPC is to fix the bike market such that any two-wheeled conveyance that is discovered to be more than six months old which does not bear the mark of TPC is to become the lawful property of TPC by default.