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Rest assured, even the stiffest frame out there still deflects and acts like a spring. It's "spring constant" is just greater. It will still store and return just as much energy-- e.g. twice as much force to move it half the distance.
I don't see how more flex is better unless it somehow acts as a mental cue to help our pedal cycles stay on point, or indirectly as enabling some other attribute such as lighter weight, better aerodynamics, comfort, etc.
Likewise, more stiffness is not better as long as it's above some design minimum. It's not worth trading off other desirable traits to get more stiffness than is necessary. How much is necessary? Depends on the rider/use, but somewhere north of stuff rubbing together that shouldn't. I'm guessing the lower bound has a lot more to do with psychology and confidence in the bike than it has to do with performance.
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