Bombs Away!!!

[William]

So,
I'm out on a 45 - 50 mile ride in the scorching heat, actually feeling pretty good. around the halfway point I look down and notice something on the side of my top tube. I look closer and realize that a bird has targeted me and let one fly. I never saw it. It must have come down between my arms, clipped the TT, and scored a direct hit on the top of my water bottle (ST), the one that I hadn't dipped into yet. "Feathery little bast**d", I mutter to my self, "conspiring to leave me out here dehydrated and with heat exhaustion. IT'S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU!!!". :butt: After I finished the first bottle, every time I want a drink I have to stop and carefully unscrew the top and get a drink. I finally just chugged it. I spent the rest of my ride looking into the sky and every tree branch, shaking my fist at every bird I saw.

But other then that it was a great ride! :banana:

William

[beungood]

Isn't that supposed to be good luck? :banana:

[Spinsistah]

Hey William, why didn't you switch the bottle tops after you drained the first bottle? It shouldn't really matter about the top on the empty.

[William]

Hey William, why didn't you switch the bottle tops after you drained the first bottle? It shouldn't really matter about the top on the empty.
:crap:


William :D

[amg]

Did you know that birds masturbate?

Antonio :beer:

[Kevin]

Did you know that birds masturbate?

Antonio :beer:

That was no bird. That was Sandy. :D

Kevin

[dave thompson]

Careful guys, this is getting wildly off-topic!

[Kevan]

but sometimes I take such signs as the Lord’s way of suggesting we need straightening up. Let me illustrate…

One time, a couple years ago, I was helping my son with the making of a model rocket (yes... I'm a nerd, but that’s not the point I’m driving at here.). Anyway, things weren't going too swell in it's making and eventually I just had to crumple the whole thing up and march over to the kitchen garbage, pull the container from the cabinet and slam the thing into the container complete with a choice selection of expletives that any sailor would be proud of. Not satisfied with its send off, oh- nooo… I wanted that half-built rocket to settle within the roots of hell itself, so I raised my foot on high and slammed it hard into the wastebasket.

Now let me explain here that I was completely frosted, pissed-off for the time and money wasted trying to build this.. this THING!. I was consumed with hatred. Everything in my sight was tinted blood red. I think you get my point, so lets proceed, shall we...

So with all the might I can foster, I drove that crumpled rocket to the bottom of the waste container causing (Newton was right!) an equally forceful and violent upward launch of turned coleslaw. I was covered. From head to ankle I looked like I'd been in the losing end of a deli food fight. I stood there for a few moments collecting my thoughts. Course, the family around me took no time to break out into complete hysterics, but I stood there.. somehow momentarily isolated from their jabs and so-there’s. Almost immediately, I regained my calm, with coleslaw juice dripping from the end of my nose and stinging my eyes. Taking in all that just had happened I looked up towards the ceiling and it immediately came to me that I was being put in my place. With the foot still deep amongst the salad, the dressing seeping down into my shoe, and what remained of the rocket looking more like confetti, I broke out into laughter and joined the family who were by then rolling on the floor virtually wetting themselves.

So William... I don't know what you did, but it seems to me you might want to clean up your act.

[H.Frank Beshear]

William when life deals you birds**t make fertilizer :D . Great story though. I was walking into a customers yard once past a multitude of bird feeders when on of the little buggers dropped a load on my head. :crap: A sign from above cause I didn't sell anything either. :D . We had a 30* temp swing today 100* yesterday 70* today. :banana: :D It's headed your way big guy I may even try to ride this week. Frank

[Dr. Doofus]

shortly after Patrick/yeehawfactor/robot/thebadmotorfinger got serious about shaving his head and riding his bike, doof got bit on the *** by a goose on the crowder's mountain loop with some pals.

birds suck.

(still have the retriever...but the Mrs. Doofus demanded no more browning before the big shack up in 2000...so doof's ahab-esque pursuit of all avian s.o.b.'s is forever incomplete)

[William]

SEE!! SEE!! SEE!!! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A CONSPIRACY!!!!!

http://www.q101.com/pics/tony_photos/bird_poop.jpg


William ;)

Frank, send that 70*'s my way baby!! :banana:

So William... I don't know what you did, but it seems to me you might want to clean up your act.

I knew I shouldn't have put Tube spooge on Sandy's burger at the Open House. ;)

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . Don’t feel bad. Years ago when I lived in the Bay Area--at only several hundred feet elevation--I motored off into the Sierras on a solo getaway and ended up camping at a spot about 7500 feet (or more) elevation. Things were not going well at home or at work and I had been obsessing on them as I drove. Got camp set up, went to the back of the car to make a sandwich, and pulled out the mustard. Took out my frustrations by giving it a mighty shake, then opened the nozzle. It essentially blew up from the air pressure difference. Mustard covered me, my clothes, ceiling of the Cherokee, and everything else that was in the back of said truck. Much cursing, wiping, and crying ensued (since it also sprayed in my eyes.)

Thank God I was alone and no one will ever know. It will be ONLY between you and me, eh Kev?

BBDave

[BURCH]

I'm just glad that you noticed the disturbence on the bottle before you took a drink!