OT Feelings

[Germany_chris]

I rant on here quite a bit because this place is more like a dysfunctional family than most paces but:

We had a thread about the missile crying after winning the TdF and a lot of people thought that that was OK...I don't agree...not with the crying so much but with the public display of emotion. I can't stand people who cry or express rage on camera. In my opinion it shows a lack of self control, do what you need to in private but in public not so much.

We had a thread about music where most of the music was IMHO whiny. It expressed emotion like mast****tion, feels great but of no consequence.

Did I miss something? When did all of this became acceptable? I suppose I'm just as guilty as all of us but my reaction is fight vs. complain. People crying on national or international TV makes me gag. Maybe I just can't understand it?

Why has expression of extreme emotion (tears through anger) become OK. Does this not show a lack of self control. Keep in mind that I'm not referring expressing these emotions around your family just in public.

Again I'm ranting and I apologize.

[Louis]

I don't agree...not with the crying so much but with the public display of emotion. I can't stand people who cry or express rage on camera. In my opinion it shows a lack of self control, do what you need to in private but in public not so much.

I have no problems with say, World Series or Superbowl (or whatever) winners choking up as they are given the trophy in a live on-camera presentation and asked to say a few words. IMO it's natural to feel lots of strong emotions after achieving something as big as that. There's no reason to hold back. You might differentiate between "choking up" and "crying" but they're very closely related. If a big-time athlete has trouble speaking and a tear or two come down his face, I think that's actually kind of neat. Maybe I'm just a softie.

[soupless]

people want their stars to act like humans. humans show emotion.

do you ever show emotion?

[FixedNotBroken]

people want their stars to act like humans. humans show emotion.

do you ever show emotion?

Obviously not..ha who cares if others show emotion. It shows their passion and character.

[FixedNotBroken]

I rant on here quite a bit because this place is more like a dysfunctional family than most paces but:

We had a thread about the missile crying after winning the TdF and a lot of people thought that that was OK...I don't agree...not with the crying so much but with the public display of emotion. I can't stand people who cry or express rage on camera. In my opinion it shows a lack of self control, do what you need to in private but in public not so much.

We had a thread about music where most of the music was IMHO whiny. It expressed emotion like mast****tion, feels great but of no consequence.

Did I miss something? When did all of this became acceptable? I suppose I'm just as guilty as all of us but my reaction is fight vs. complain. People crying on national or international TV makes me gag. Maybe I just can't understand it?

Why has expression of extreme emotion (tears through anger) become OK. Does this not show a lack of self control. Keep in mind that I'm not referring expressing these emotions around your family just in public.

Again I'm ranting and I apologize.

If you have to apologize ahead of time then maybe don't say it? I don't know..just saying

[Pete Serotta]

Sorry for this note "It is only focused at the ID called "Germany Chris" note above - and I get my Irish up when folks attack here instead of just moving on..... It is probably poor on my part to list his ID but a few IDs sent me a note asking if it was them. IT IS NOT AND ONLY THE ONE ABOVE.

He/SHE is military and has the respect from me but not that type exhibited in their first note.

Maybe he or she had a bad day or week.. If so, I hope it gets better.

Sorry to get my IRISH up. PETE
__________________________________________________ _______________
People who can share thoughts and feeling on the forum, I feel, it is part of communications and friendship for folks on the forum. T

This is sharing and a cornerstone of this forum for those who wish it to be and for me.

Personal attacks on an ID or thought process in a thread is a no no :no:


If this is more dysfunctional of the other forums for someone, they should consider moving on to the other forums with their valuable time.

Yours, mine, or others personal opinion are not the only opinion. Your opinion is just that - yours. Hell even the Speaker of the US House of Rep has been seen with tears.

On a one on one view I HAVE SHED TEARs at times. THat is part of emotion nad caring not of weakness, (in my view)


Do and go as you want but please do not point down at others' views here. (It will not be allowed, You can share yours but not at the expense of others,

There are more than one person here who had battled personal and family problems and have "muscled" thru them. It is something to be proud of and proud of knowing them,

Please open your views to "Most have strengths and the will to make things better for all"


THanks

Regards. PETE

[phcollard]

I don't agree...not with the crying so much but with the public display of emotion. I can't stand people who cry or express rage on camera. In my opinion it shows a lack of self control, do what you need to in private but in public not so much.

So you would prefer if everyone was acting as a mindless zombie in public? That would be a sad sad world. Passion - and the expression of it - is what is saving our world for being a real boring place. It's already boring enough thank you. So if someone wants to cry in front of a camera, whether it's Cadel or a contestant of the Biggest Loser, that's great. I'll cry with him!

Edit: "self-control" as you describe it sounds like weakness to me. Only the strongest are able to let it go.

[AngryScientist]

Passion - and the expression of it - is what is saving our world for being a real boring place.


:beer:

[eddief]

would suggest this is the orientation of the family you grew up in...you have some dissonance about it. You can decide to live with your legacy or maybe explore what you could learn about yourself by having a conversation/dialogue with a mixed group of people; some of who are like you, some who are not, and some who used to be but evolved to appreciate the emotional side vs the control side of what humans are capable of.

obviously the missle, john the boehner, hillary clinton and a zillion other people have another point of view.

[jr59]

Drat!!!

I thought he was going to sing
" feelings, nothing more than feelings"

:banana:

[chuckroast]

...and why he fits in?

[Ken Robb]

When I was in the US Army we were taught to conceal our emotions. When I was in Officer Candidate School we were REALLY forced to show ZERO emotions no matter how provoked or ELSE!

This training was helpful at various times in my civilian role as a real estate broker. But with the mellowing of age I cry when I sing our National Anthem.
Chris is still in the Army so lets all cut him some slack and ask him to do the same. :beer:

[pavel]

people want their stars to act like humans. humans show emotion.

do you ever show emotion?


He is GERMAN!



feelings are so stupid.

[Spin71]

If Germans had a soul they wouldn't be able to live with themselves.

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . and I think we should respect that. Chris may be uncomfortable with public expression of emotions for reasons of his own. Others may not be uncomfortable with such displays--again for reasons of their own.

That's OK by me. I think I'd be skeptical of a celebrity who cries in public all the time. There are those who use tears to manipulate others emotions for their own benefit, not as a sincere expression of their own emotions.

But somebody like Cadel, who has been trying for years to win this big race and only THIS one--and who finally does it? As far as I'm concerned he can bawl all he wants up there on the podium. I'll hand him a towel. If I were in his place I'd probably drop more than a tear or two myself.

What really gets to me about Chris' statement, though, is the mere fact that he felt comfortable enough with this place that he can express some honest personal feelings. Most of you may not have been around this forum 8-9 years ago when it was far smaller and a far closer circle of online friends. That's a place that I miss because it was far more respectful of members who reached out for support than the general atmosphere here today.

BBD

[wc1934]

[QUOTE= But with the mellowing of age I cry when I sing our National Anthem.
Chris is still in the Army so lets all cut him some slack and ask him to do the same. :beer:[/QUOTE]

I too served in the army and that is why it is so difficult to cut him some slack - if I remember correctly he was also opposed to someone saying "God Bless America".

[Dekonick]

To show emotion is to show you are human. As some have stated "you were taught to control your emotions... blah blah blah..." EXACTLY - YOU WERE TRAINED. That is NOT the natural state for a human. You have to LEARN and PRACTICE to control emotions. Somehow I doubt Cadel had a Sgt at his side yelling at him for several months to 'teach' him to control his emotions.

So he got emotional - he did win a race against great odds. Good for him!

:beer:

And I have the utmost respect for anyone who serves... but realize the company you keep... I would hardly say a group of marines make a good example of the 'general' population.

[Bud_E]

http://movieclips.com/ZQiXH-jerry-maguire-movie-not-gonna-cry/

[rugbysecondrow]

For somebody who frowns upon other peoples public display of emotion, the OP sure put his on display by starting this thread.

[David Kirk]

trolling pure and simple.

Dave

[cat6]

For somebody who frowns upon other peoples public display of emotion, the OP sure put his on display by starting this thread.

+1

[avalonracing]

If Germans had a soul they wouldn't be able to live with themselves.


That would make a hell of a bumper sticker. Why don't you see how that works out for you?

[veggieburger]

This world needs less machoism, more emotion. Cry away my little duckings...you have my support.

[goonster]

If Germans had a soul they wouldn't be able to live with themselves.
What the heck is that supposed to mean? :rolleyes:


With respect to public displays of (any) emotion I used to feel as the O.P. does. And then I turned nineteen.

[4Rings6Stars]

...and why he fits in?


I want to know what Gil Grissom has to do with this...

[pdmtong]

Feelings - ALBERT MORRIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2fU6svnI68

[firerescuefin]

Chris....isn't it a little early for Oktoberfest philosophizin....have anutha :beer:

[FixedNotBroken]

For somebody who frowns upon other peoples public display of emotion, the OP sure put his on display by starting this thread.

+1..

(Pete)
I am sorry to get on that but military to me is always respect but never a reason for rudeness.

Agreed..

[cat6]

I think this thread is in a sense therapeutic. The OP posted an opinion and can see that not everyone agrees with their opinion. Hopefully it can be taken in stride and a revaluation of perception will take place.

Long ago during some rough times I vowed not to cry because I felt it made me weak, I prided myself on it...years later I learned that trying to kill those emotional moments made me weaker. Human is human, be who you are whenever and wherever. You CAN train yourself for strength mentally and physically, but why be "harder" than need be.

Life is short, and moves faster as you age. Sacrafice crying and you sacrifice the human emotions associated, and in turn miss life...at least as I see it.

Be well, ride hard, do your job, and live fully. I was raised by a drill sgt, btw. 10 years retired after a 30 year stint. He's "hard" as they come, but loves babies, puppies and kittens. Tears well up when he removes his hat for the national anthem, it's a reminder of what his life was dedicated to. You fight for freedom, might as well enjoy it.

[1happygirl]

. . . and I think we should respect that. Chris may be uncomfortable with public expression of emotions for reasons of his own. Others may not be uncomfortable with such displays--again for reasons of their own.

That's OK by me. I think I'd be skeptical of a celebrity who cries in public all the time. There are those who use tears to manipulate others emotions for their own benefit, not as a sincere expression of their own emotions.

But somebody like Cadel, who has been trying for years to win this big race and only THIS one--and who finally does it? As far as I'm concerned he can bawl all he wants up there on the podium. I'll hand him a towel. If I were in his place I'd probably drop more than a tear or two myself.

What really gets to me about Chris' statement, though, is the mere fact that he felt comfortable enough with this place that he can express some honest personal feelings. Most of you may not have been around this forum 8-9 years ago when it was far smaller and a far closer circle of online friends. That's a place that I miss because it was far more respectful of members who reached out for support than the general atmosphere here today.

BBD

Awesomeness is BBD. One of the best expressed /well written thoughts/sentiments. Excellent.

As an aside, I didn't see Cadel's speech /interview but conflicting views and scientific studies that crying/talking about your issues may make you feel /do worse. Don't know.

[Richard]

A thread like this makes me curious as to whether displays of chest thumping and "in your face" attitudes that (to me) seem prevalent in football and basketball would be considered acceptable public displays of emotion to those who disdain public tears.

[FlashUNC]

I know I'm trapped in a glass case of emotion.

http://e.asset.soup.io/asset/0360/1614_a953.gif

[Fixed]

I rant on here quite a bit because this place is more like a dysfunctional family than most paces but:

We had a thread about the missile crying after winning the TdF and a lot of people thought that that was OK...I don't agree...not with the crying so much but with the public display of emotion. I can't stand people who cry or express rage on camera. In my opinion it shows a lack of self control, do what you need to in private but in public not so much.

We had a thread about music where most of the music was IMHO whiny. It expressed emotion like mast****tion, feels great but of no consequence.

Did I miss something? When did all of this became acceptable? I suppose I'm just as guilty as all of us but my reaction is fight vs. complain. People crying on national or international TV makes me gag. Maybe I just can't understand it?

Why has expression of extreme emotion (tears through anger) become OK. Does this not show a lack of self control. Keep in mind that I'm not referring expressing these emotions around your family just in public.

Again I'm ranting and I apologize.
whatever happened to the stiff upper lip ?
cheers

[1centaur]

This is one of the more interesting semi-OT threads I can remember because the OP opened with such an unconventional view. If it's trolling, which did cross my mind, it's creative trolling.

I think there are several cross currents here. When is it good/wise to let yourself feel emotions, and when ok to express them? All those who say let humans be humans might not be thrilled by someone who cried 6 times a day. The level of okayness permitted in this thread has a lot to do with relative rareness of expression/feeling and acceptable stimuli (TdF; puppies). As for the OP, the key question might be why the expression of such emotions in public should never be viewed as positive. Clearly different points on a continuum, but not THAT far apart in the range from never to always.

We (America) have clearly moved along the scale towards accepting emotion from men (and yes, there's a gender component here) since Muskie shed a tear defending his wife from attacks in a political campaign, but not very far, I think. We are still debating weakness as an explanation for male tears. Boys are taught not to cry and they need to man up to cry openly ever - most do, and most do very consciously, I think. If they never felt the emotion and we knew it we might trust them less (psychopath?); as Fixed suggested, the stiff upper lip image remains much admired. Fans would have been happier if Cadel smiled and pumped his fist, in many cases, or if emotion was perceived but visibly contained. This aggregate doubt is exactly why it takes some personal fortitude not to hide emotions. Sports have become a more accepting venue for crying than others, such as work or the military, in part because past results are more celebrated than future possibilities in sports, while work and the military are more focused on tomorrow and what people can count on - they are looking for strength and consistency.

So, while I agree with the thread that the OP should lighten up on sports guys crying at significant achievements after many years of extreme self-control, I also think it's not an open and shut topic across professions and stimuli. Celebrate the freedom of guys to express emotions openly more often, but let's not suggest that cry whenever/wherever is a standard with which we find great comfort as a society.

[William]

Seems to me that one of the obstacles to Cadel's Tour achievements in the past was mental. A large part of winning/success is the mental component to succeed and drive on through adversity. There has been a lot of talk about how emotional he can be with inferences that it was what held him back in Tours past. When the "mechanical" happened to Cadel on the climb, the thought crossed my mind that with the attack on, he was breaking mentally, this time he recomposed himself and went on the offensive.

If there is truth in the talk about what an "emotional" guy he is, it doesn't surprise me in the least that he would shed tears of joy at winning the Tour.

Good on him! :banana:




William

[Dekonick]

This is one of the more interesting semi-OT threads I can remember because the OP opened with such an unconventional view. If it's trolling, which did cross my mind, it's creative trolling.

I think there are several cross currents here. When is it good/wise to let yourself feel emotions, and when ok to express them? All those who say let humans be humans might not be thrilled by someone who cried 6 times a day. The level of okayness permitted in this thread has a lot to do with relative rareness of expression/feeling and acceptable stimuli (TdF; puppies). As for the OP, the key question might be why the expression of such emotions in public should never be viewed as positive. Clearly different points on a continuum, but not THAT far apart in the range from never to always.

We (America) have clearly moved along the scale towards accepting emotion from men (and yes, there's a gender component here) since Muskie shed a tear defending his wife from attacks in a political campaign, but not very far, I think. We are still debating weakness as an explanation for male tears. Boys are taught not to cry and they need to man up to cry openly ever - most do, and most do very consciously, I think. If they never felt the emotion and we knew it we might trust them less (psychopath?); as Fixed suggested, the stiff upper lip image remains much admired. Fans would have been happier if Cadel smiled and pumped his fist, in many cases, or if emotion was perceived but visibly contained. This aggregate doubt is exactly why it takes some personal fortitude not to hide emotions. Sports have become a more accepting venue for crying than others, such as work or the military, in part because past results are more celebrated than future possibilities in sports, while work and the military are more focused on tomorrow and what people can count on - they are looking for strength and consistency.

So, while I agree with the thread that the OP should lighten up on sports guys crying at significant achievements after many years of extreme self-control, I also think it's not an open and shut topic across professions and stimuli. Celebrate the freedom of guys to express emotions openly more often, but let's not suggest that cry whenever/wherever is a standard with which we find great comfort as a society.

If someone cried 6+ times a day, they probably are sick and not being treated for a VERY treatable illness... depression. I do not remember watching Cadel cry 6+ times a day... just after he won a HUGE race against great odds.

[sc53]

I know I'm trapped in a glass case of emotion.

http://e.asset.soup.io/asset/0360/1614_a953.gif
Is this Ron Burgundy? He makes me cry with laughter!

[FlashUNC]

Is this Ron Burgundy? He makes me cry with laughter!

The one and the same. The bad man punted Baxter.

[1centaur]

If someone cried 6+ times a day, they probably are sick and not being treated for a VERY treatable illness... depression. I do not remember watching Cadel cry 6+ times a day... just after he won a HUGE race against great odds.

Exactly - which is why the next line was "The level of okayness permitted in this thread has a lot to do with relative rareness of expression/feeling and acceptable stimuli (TdF; puppies)." We're parsing within a very confined window of what's viewed as "normal." Once a day? Once a week? Once in a career? Americans, especially guys, hit our discomfort level with public emotion pretty quickly.

[Pete Serotta]

different cultures, views, religions, personalities and political correctness all give shades of the two extremes :confused:

The internet and expansion of communications and commerce have even made it small and grayer.

I try to learn from all aspects including reading, listening, and also trying to understand other views from people and nationalities.... Some of them I probably will never understand completely.

While doing this I try not to talk down to others and at the same time understand where others' points of view are based.

The internet makes this more difficult and that does not mean good nor bad but it is just a view(from reader) of what was meant when it was entered onto web and most of the time knowing very little about who entered it and their background.


THe only way I try to make me a nicer person is never to "attack" others or let them attack friends in the forum playground.. I do not expect to win any popularity contests here, but when you are older than dirt you must keep on learning and expanding views. (and sometimes not be the most correct from a PC point of view.)

The thread that started this note was in my view one of very little learning

I keep what I consider as my integrity for me but some are very black and white - - "no attacks or talking down to others".

:crap: Pete