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View Full Version : OT , the loss of one's pet before her time .


Smiley
06-12-2005, 01:11 PM
I just don't know where to start this thread , Friday my wife flew home cutting short her Open House festivities to join some perfect strangers helping to find our 4 1/2 year old Shar-pei whom got loose from our dog sitter . The long and the short of the story is Karen arrived home to get the news less then one hour later that the humane society had called and told her to come identify our dead dog . She was hit by a motorist that DID NOT STOP to render assistance . A passerby stopped called it in and waited till the humane socitey came by , by then our Joy had passed on . I got this news while trying to get any news while dinning at the Davis Phinney dinner event .
Shook up and mad would not come close to some of my feelings . It was great to be with in the Serotta Family and get the support to hang in there and condolences from new friends I had just made and old friends that I know will be there for life for me . I wanted to thank everyone personally on Karen's and my behalf for your prayers and support .Sandy and Gloria you guys are the greatest . Thanks and please hug your pets today for us , it sure will make us feel like they will tell Joy we will really miss her and that she made our life better for having rescued her . Your the greatest bunch of guys and gals we could want to meet in cyberspace .

Smiley and Karen

Sandy
06-12-2005, 01:21 PM
I sent you two long PM's from Saratoga Springs, but they did not go through. The two short test messages did go through. I tried then to send Rapid Tourist a long PM, and that did not go through either. So, since you have started a thread on the tragic loss of your wonderful dog Joy, I will make some of my comments here, trying not to specifically designate too much, the parties involved. I sincerely hope that this post goes through. In fact, I am going to try to send this now, and if it is posted on the forum, I will then try again to post again on this thread.


Sandy

Sandy
06-12-2005, 01:35 PM
Both Gloria and I are very upset over the sudden and tragic loss of Joy. Understandably, it is a highly traumatic and emotionally charged event. I cleary understand your feelings of hurt from the loss of your wonderful dog, and your anger and resentment to a few involved.

First, relative to the motorist that did not stop- Unfortunately, there are motorists who not only won't stop after hitting an animal, there are some who won't even stop after hitting a human. Too many people are too seflish and too concerned about their own little world and are most unfortunately insensitive to and non-caring to people and/or animals, such as dogs. Dogs, being a non-human animal are often looked at as simply being a possession or a thing, void of life, sensitivities, feelings, needs and often not a real priority to their "owners". Karen and Smiley, you are wonderful caring and giving people who treat both people and dogs in a most concerned, loving, and giving way. It is simply very difficult for you to accept those who could basically care less about a dog, especially your dog. It was very frustrating and disconceritng to you when Joy could not be captured, when she was loose. The following accident with a non-caring motorist was obviously very hurtful and disconcerting.

I will post this and then post again.

Sandy

sc53
06-12-2005, 01:48 PM
Smiley and Karen,
I only met Joy that once at your house the other weekend of the Darnestown group ride (I brought my new Ottrott for girls) and I am so sorry that she got hit. I have two dogs of my own and that is a constant fear. My sister lost her Dobie last summer while a friend was babysitting him and somehow he also got out of her yard and got hit. It is just tragic and hits you in the gut. I have tears in my eyes as I write this, I want you to know how sorry I am. Our dogs never live long enough even when they live to an arthritic, deaf, incontinent old age (as did my Lab, June, who had to be put down at 17 a few years ago). Joy was just a pup still, so sweet, beautiful, and shy. Just remember what a happy life you gave her, esp with that new patio and back yard you have. She really seemed to be enjoying that barbecue with the one-legged man, though all the strangers were, well, strange to her.
I actually got her to come over for a pet or two while I was there. I am so so sorry that someone speeding heedlessly through a quiet residential neighborhood hit her and then didn't bother to stop.
Joy was a class act and will be remembered.
--Sarah, a dog lover, who has grieved many dog losses. It's the nature of the dog life span and the fools on the roads.

Cyclilsts--be careful! The motorists are out to get us too.

Don
06-12-2005, 02:07 PM
The Boca Gang join the list of your many friends who offer condolences upon learning of the loss. Know that our thoughs are with you.

Marianne and Don

Sandy
06-12-2005, 02:08 PM
I had another long post for this thread disappear when I tried to post it, so I am going to try later.

Sandy

RABikes2
06-12-2005, 02:18 PM
Dear Smiley and Karen,

My condolences on the loss of Joy. She sounds like a wonderful little girl and loved by all.

I just had a discussion earlier today with one of my petsitters regarding leaving my "kids" for two weeks. More than anything, I'm most worried that they will be okay. They're use to my son and me being with them. They're people cuddlers. I don't usually let my sitters let the cats out (they like to go in and out), but I've been worried that if I do let them go outside, they might not come in because we're not here. One of them is very shy. My big boy, AJ, an Australian Shepherd, is already moping around because he senses when we go away. Two weeks sounds so long.

My heart and tears go out to you. I am so sorry.
Ritaann

Kevin
06-12-2005, 03:15 PM
Smiley,

Being a dog lover myself, I understand that the family dog is a full fledged member of the family. You have my deepest condolences. I wish I could have been in Saratoga to tell you in person.

Kevin

gasman
06-12-2005, 03:50 PM
Both Gloria and I are very upset over the sudden and tragic loss of Joy. Understandably, it is a highly traumatic and emotionally charged event. I cleary understand your feelings of hurt from the loss of your wonderful dog, and your anger and resentment to a few involved.

First, relative to the motorist that did not stop- Unfortunately, there are motorists who not only won't stop after hitting an animal, there are some who won't even stop after hitting a human. Too many people are too seflish and too concerned about their own little world and are most unfortunately insensitive to and non-caring to people and/or animals, such as dogs. Dogs, being a non-human animal are often looked at as simply being a possession or a thing, void of life, sensitivities, feelings, needs and often not a real priority to their "owners". Karen and Smiley, you are wonderful caring and giving people who treat both people and dogs in a most concerned, loving, and giving way. It is simply very difficult for you to accept those who could basically care less about a dog, especially your dog. It was very frustrating and disconceritng to you when Joy could not be captured, when she was loose. The following accident with a non-caring motorist was obviously very hurtful and disconcerting.

I will post this and then post again.

Sandy

I think Sandy did a great job describing how many of us feel. My condolances.

My wife and kids and I would all be devastated if we lost our beloved lab.

Ray
06-12-2005, 04:13 PM
Smiley,

Even after such a brief meeting a few weeks ago at the ride you hosted, I could tell Joy was a great dog. Most dogs are, and she had that wonderful gentle, take it as it comes, spirit about her. We've had our little cockapoo for just a little over a couple of years, and I already can't imagine what it was like before we had her. I'm so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how sad it is.

Hang in there,

-Ray

Kevan
06-12-2005, 05:48 PM
I've tried to write a response a few times and nothing is working for me. I don't know what to say. Those dang bundles of fur crawl right into our hearts, giving us love, joy, and horrible heartache. I'm so.. so sorry to read this terrible news.

Kevan

Spinsistah
06-12-2005, 06:23 PM
Smiley and Karen, I am so sorry for your loss of Joy. I have 4 Shih Tzu, and I do rescue. I pull Shih Tzus from puppy mills, shelters and take owner relinquishes, rehab and rehome them. I am fiercely protective of dog's rights, and I cannot believe the person that hit her did not stop and try to help her. What's wrong with people?? Dogs are not possessions, they are members of your family. I am glad you were with friends when you learned of this, and I feel for Karen having to go to the shelter to identify her body. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I too have tears in my eyes as I write this. This is a terrible, terrible tragedy.

Stephanie

Spinsistah
06-12-2005, 06:27 PM
Joy is in peace and painfree waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. Again, my heart goes out to your family at this time. Big cyber hug coming to you and Karen.

BumbleBeeDave
06-12-2005, 06:47 PM
How do I manage to find words to really say how sorry I feel for both of you and your poor, sweet Joy? The answer, of course, is that I cannot. I have no real frame of reference for the event. I know that to you two, your dogs are not just “our dogs.” They are your companions, the ones you project your joy and your pride and your love through--your “children,” as it were. The only common frame of reference I can begin to find is to have my daughter be hit and killed by a car while I was out of town and helpless to either intervene or at least be with her to support her. That is inconceivable in itself. But when I also know that you also lost your previous pet to cancer(?) Just a few short years ago, my basis for comparison diappears, because I only have one child. To imagine having two children and having them both taken from me in the space of a few short years is even more inconceivable.

On the one hand I am glad that if something like this had to happen, that you were with friends like this who could lend you support when you need it. On the other hand, it must have been both infuriating and devastating to be so far away from home and be so helpless--unable to do a d@mn thing about it--and doubly so to have it happen in the midst of a weekend I know the both of you were looking forward to so much--and had been looking forward to for so long.

I can only say I will be thinking of the both of you and thinking of Joy up in Dog Heaven telling her friends what great “People Pets” she was lucky enough to know after being rescued from the shelter. I am also sure from having met your friend who was caring for her that she must also feel absolutely awful in a helpless and empty way.

Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help, and perhaps later this summer we can figure out some way to give you and Karen your own special “Owner’s Weekend” if you can get back up to Saratoga.

BBDave

Len J
06-12-2005, 07:16 PM
so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Dog partner Marika last winter after 13 long years, and still am unable to describe the loss.

Thinking of you and Karen and sending you light.

Len

David Kirk
06-12-2005, 07:55 PM
I, like others, can't find words that say how I feel.

You're in our thoughts.

Dave and Karin Kirk

saab2000
06-12-2005, 07:59 PM
People who don't have animals don't know what it's like to lose one. Hang in there, Hr.Smiley. I feel what you are going through because I have been through it too. It ain't much fun.

inGobwetrust
06-12-2005, 08:02 PM
I'm very saddened by your loss. Your family will be in my family's thoughts and prayers.

Sandy
06-12-2005, 08:18 PM
Obviously no one will experience the emptiness and loss of Joy as you. I know, Smiley, that there is anger within you for some individuals, relative to this very traumatic event involving a loved one in the Karen and Smiley home and family. You will feel most the loss of your truely wonderful dog. But please understand that the dog's caretaker is also feeling a tremendous burden, since his or her error led to the horrible accident. Since the caretaker lives so close to you and is such a good friend and sees you so often, I know that all of this is especially difficult for him or her. No matter what you do or say to the caretaker, it will do nothing to replace Joy. I suggest that you try to moderate your response, whatever that may be, to the caretaker. I know that you feel anger, but the caretaker will always carry the burden of responsibility with him or her.

Sandy

Sandy
06-12-2005, 08:27 PM
I think that it would be best to wait a little before you get a new Shar Pei. There is a natural mourning period that occurs. It is not as important to quickly get a new Shar Pei as it is for you to get the right Shar Pei, as the new dog will be an intricate part of your wonderful family, hopefully for years.

You can notify the Montgomery County Humane Society and tell them that you are interested in a Shar Pei, and they will contact you, when one is at the shelter. That is one of the services that they provide.

Sandy

Sandy
06-12-2005, 08:33 PM
You can also go through Shar Pei rescue or the breeder that you used before (or another).

Always remember that I have never had a better friend than you. Gloria and I will always be available to help you whenever you wish. You know I love dogs (and cycling) and I would be both glad and fortunate to help you locate your next family member.

Sandman

Smiley
06-12-2005, 08:54 PM
I have made peace with the dogsitter , nothing about getting mad will bring back Joy , it still does not mean I am not pissed about the whole thing . I will tell you all that is this cyber family is a great one at that . I need to get the right Shar-Pei , I have placed some calls and await answers . We are looking for a breeder with the right dog ( not puppy ) that needs to go to a right home . Most breeders have dogs ( like our Joy ) that for whatever the reason don't work out and they for economic reasons need to thin the heard so to say , try to place these very good dogs in especially great homes . We are this type of home . So with this all said I can't thank YOU my friends enough for the words of encourgement .

BumbleBeeDave
06-12-2005, 08:59 PM
. . . about the situation without being angry at an individual. God knows I’ve had to tell myself that enough times. But maybe wait a few weeks to let things moderate in your mind? One can always think more objectively about things with a bit of distance. I think Sandy is right on . . .

Oh, and I’m sorry I was such a crappy date at dinner Friday night. I didn’t even let you cop a feel! I guess that crappy service from our “waiter” just got me all distracted! ;)

BBDave

Spinsistah
06-12-2005, 09:23 PM
Being involved in rescue, I can ask my fellow ST rescuers and see if they know someone that does Shar-Pei Rescue in your area. Let me know if I can help.

H.Frank Beshear
06-12-2005, 10:07 PM
Captain sorry for your loss, Take your time to grieve before you choose another. Frank

Needs Help
06-12-2005, 11:01 PM
:(

Best wishes.

Ginger
06-12-2005, 11:01 PM
Smiley,
I'm sorry to hear about Joy. I know a fraction of what you're feeling. My pup Sprocket passed away in the care of my sister while she was watching him after my recent surgery. I didn't have as long to become attached to Sprocket as you had with Joy, but it was hard when he passed away suddenly and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

Good luck finding the next one.

Mary Ann

William
06-13-2005, 05:45 AM
I'm very sorry to here this news Smiley. I've been through a similar experience so I have an idea of the emotional stress you and your wife are going through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

William

jeffg
06-13-2005, 06:03 AM
I hope you can take some solace in the support you have here and in the loving memories of Joy. Perhaps it is healthy that you are already looking for another dog. I have not stopped mourning our Bouvier (over two years now), so I suppose you can mourn too long as well. Know you are in our thoughts during this difficult period.

Too Tall
06-13-2005, 06:58 AM
Breaks my heart you and Mrs. are sad and without dog love. Time heals.

Spectrum Bob
06-13-2005, 08:46 AM
Karen & Smiley

We were all devastated to hear about Joy. You can take pride in the full life you gave her in the short time you had her. It was amazing to watch her blossom as a result of your care and love.

Our deepest condolences,

Leah, Beth & Bob

Matthew
06-13-2005, 09:12 AM
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your family member. I dread the day we lose our beloved cats Serotta and Bruiser. Be thankful that one day in the near future you will be able to bring immense love and happiness to another furry friend. Take care. Matthew and Susan.

weisan
06-13-2005, 10:33 AM
Captain Smiley and Karen, I am very sorry to hear about this awful news about your dog over the weekend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

weisan

Sandy
06-13-2005, 10:37 AM
"Be thankful that one day in the near future you will be able to bring immense love and happiness to another furry friend." That is exactly what will happen.

Sandy

OldDog
06-13-2005, 01:10 PM
Dogs are so very special creatures that God has given us. Especially so are the people that love and care for them. I'm very sorry you lost yours this weekend.

NicaDog
06-13-2005, 03:32 PM
Smiley,
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Joy.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

David

Rapid Tourist
06-13-2005, 04:38 PM
Smiley, When I got home from the weekend, I took our dog Molly for a long swim in her favorite stream which she LOVES. I did so because I want her to have the best time that she can possibly have while I'm lucky enough to have her. I know that you and Karen gave Joy the best years of her life and all 3 of you were lucky to have each other.

Vancouverdave
06-14-2005, 12:31 PM
Kids with four feet have the same emotional place for some of us as kids with two feet--I hope your SharPei is reincarnated to some place where cars are small enough so that dogs can pick them up and chew on 'em!
Vancouverdave aka Annie (mutt) and Bela's (poodle) human

Keith A
06-14-2005, 01:59 PM
Wow, what a sad effect to come at a time when you were away enjoying another passion you have in your life. Smiley, I am really sorry to hear of your untimely loss and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife. I do hope that you will find another to fill the void that was created.

Skrawny
06-14-2005, 10:35 PM
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
I have Puck on my lap right now and gave him a big hug, just like you said (though he complained a bit).
Best wishes.
-Skrawny

Sandy
06-15-2005, 10:36 AM
I'm in if we can make some arrangements for another visit this year to Saratoga Springs with Karen and Smiley. But this time, YOU must do the cue sheets and/or we must all stay together or at least have places at which we regroup. Gloria was told that later this summer, the room rates get really high.

High on Cycling and Dogs,

Sandy