OK, how insane am I?

[jeffg]

Here's the deal folks. I really obsess about cycling constantly despite the fact my time is stretched thin between my job :crap: and my wonderful family (wife and 2 sons, 17 mos. and 4 weeks).

Anywho, my wife has given me the go-ahead (assumign work gives the ok) to visit our friends in N. California, help them with their new baby, and try to ride a 206 mile DC. Since our newest is so young she would prefer to stay behind, so I am on the one hand super excited to see our friends and ride but cannot imagine leaving my family behind (I am trying to see if she will let me bring our oldest, but I doubt she will let him out of her sight for even a few days).

As you can likely guess, the offer is becoming too tempting to pass up! This is hopefully a sign that my wife thinks she is treated well and really supports me! Otherwise, it is a sign that my wife is too indulgent and that I am just out of my mind! :no:

[mad_mark]

I would go and then when I get back, show her how much I appreciated being so supported in my obsession, er, hobby. I'd show her for a very long time (longer than it takes to ride a Double, as in multiply hours by months).

Mark.

[dave thompson]

Jeff: What a wonderful wife! If you go, and I think you should, make sure she has people (neighbors, family, etc.) that will be with her/nearby to take up some of the load she will experience while you are gone.

Make sure, while you are gone, there are flowers sent to her every couple of days, with a very appropriate card. When you return, you will have a very special gift for her to thank her for the support she gives you.

Lucky guy!

[M_A_Martin]

How long will you be gone? A weekend? A week? A month?

If she's willing to let you go, go on your own. You'll have more reason to return home quicker.

[jeffg]

I will be gone a week, and may visit my mom and sister (that way she doesn't have to ;) ).

I will owe her big time, but she has us on a savings plan since I kind of blew (our modest) bank buying her a "baby ring" (like an anniversary band with blue sapphires and diamonds). I think the 5th year anniversary trip to Provence will have to do for now as far as the material goods goes, but I suspect lots of foot rubs, massages, and cooking (I tend to do all he cooking anyway) will be in my future ...

Maybe I will finally meet BigMac unless he starts at 5:00 AM and drops me so fast all I see is a green blur! :banana:

[M_A_Martin]

Ooo Not that family isn't wonderful, but doing the token family visit would be really considerate of you. Sure, your mom and sister won't see your kids, but they'll see you. And that's important as well.

[vaxn8r]

You'll be gone a week leaving your wife with a 4 week old and a toddler? Did I read that right? I don't agree with that thinking. Not meant to slam you. I just don't agree.

[weisan]

jeffg, please take what I said as one-man opinion, and know that I am really not trying to discourage you or anything like that.

My wife is very sacrificial in her love for me and I try to do the same for her. Having gone through the various stages of having one child, followed by two and then the third one, and they are spaced pretty evenly in between: 7, 4, 2 yrs old. I kinda understand the household demands your wife would have to meet up with while you are gone. My most sincere advice would be for you to stay at home. Your wife needs you more than your friends. The ride can wait for a later time. Trust me, I have been tempted many a times by opportunities like this, and sometimes I went for it, other times I relented.
The overall experience is more positive when I sucked it up and stayed at home. If you dig deeper beyond the surface, this is not simply a lost trip. It's a choice made and depending on the heart attitude that get carried into making that decision, the final outcome can be made positive or negative. It all depends. But I would strongly encourage you to discuss this over with your wife. Sometimes you have to probe deeper into a woman's heart before they reveal to you what's really on their minds. It's nice to say, "Go ahead honey, I support whatever you want to do" but if done so with much trepidation of what lies ahead while you are gone, then that nice gesture is much discounted.

Understand this is something not easy to do. We want to do what we want to do. It's our nature. I was reading a book the other day. It talked about the 90-10 rule of getting to a 50-50 relationship. Essentially, what it means is that if we take on the perspective of contributing 90% of our time and energy into a relationship, we would end up with a pretty level-off relationship with both sides taking and receiving an equal share. Hard to figure out the maths but I understand the reasoning behind which is to address primarily the heart issue of man.

Anyway, I am not trying to insinuate that you are not a good father or a good husband. For all I know, you are wonderful at both roles and the fact that the issue gives you pause in deciding tells me already that you are on the right track. Either way, whatever decision you made, I am sure it's the right one.

take care buddy,
weisan

[William]

jeffg, please take what I said as one-man opinion, and know that I am really not trying to discourage you or anything like that.

My wife is very sacrificial in her love for me and I try to do the same for her. Having gone through the various stages of having one child, followed by two and then the third one, and they are spaced pretty evenly in between: 7, 4, 2 yrs old. I kinda understand the household demands your wife would have to meet up with while you are gone. My most sincere advice would be for you to stay at home. Your wife needs you more than your friends. The ride can wait for a later time. Trust me, I have been tempted many a times by opportunities like this, and sometimes I went for it, other times I relented.
The overall experience is more positive when I sucked it up and stayed at home. If you dig deeper beyond the surface, this is not simply a lost trip. It's a choice made and depending on the heart attitude that get carried into making that decision, the final outcome can be made positive or negative. It all depends. But I would strongly encourage you to discuss this over with your wife. Sometimes you have to probe deeper into a woman's heart before they reveal to you what's really on their minds. It's nice to say, "Go ahead honey, I support whatever you want to do" but if done so with much trepidation of what lies ahead while you are gone, then that nice gesture is much discounted.

Understand this is something not easy to do. We want to do what we want to do. It's our nature. I was reading a book the other day. It talked about the 90-10 rule of getting to a 50-50 relationship. Essentially, what it means is that if we take on the perspective of contributing 90% of our time and energy into a relationship, we would end up with a pretty level-off relationship with both sides taking and receiving an equal share. Hard to figure out the maths but I understand the reasoning behind which is to address primarily the heart issue of man.

Anyway, I am not trying to insinuate that you are not a good father or a good husband. For all I know, you are wonderful at both roles and the fact that the issue gives you pause in deciding tells me already that you are on the right track. Either way, whatever decision you made, I am sure it's the right one.

take care buddy,
weisan

Nothing more for me to add. :)

William

[Too Tall]

Carry a cell phone and come back home with a serious nice present for the family. Queen and I are glued at the hip however as of late we are secure enough to let the other go for their own adventure(s). It's normal bro. Enjoy and show your appreciation.