OT: Autism, patience, and love

[Dave B]

I wanted to say to any parent out there who has a child with ASD that my heart goes out to you and the patience and love that you must exhibit daily for your child(ren).

Working with 5th and 6th graders as I do for the last decade we I have had my experiences both good and bad with students who are on the spectrum at some level or another.

This year I was asked to be trained in a safe restraining techniques so that I could assist in restraining and safely guiding students who were having...well a melt down for lack of a better term...to a safe place.

I am the only male in the building besides our principal trained to do so, so maybe a few times a week I get called.

I have spent the entire week working with one students (restraining, carrying, wrestling, etc) as his one on one aid is gone on vacation. He cannot handle the schedule change, a very common problem, so he is literally striking out behavioraly and physically.

I have been scratched, punched in the wedding tackle, and in the nose. I got a note from his mother today saying that the boy wanted to thank me for helping him all week and how grateful they were.

So for any of you who have a family member who is on the ASD, my heart goes out to you and the love you have. You are remarkable people to be able to love someone so compassionately and with strong but fragile arms.

[rePhil]

After over twenty years as a photographer photographing boat ads and brochures (think about models, helicopters fast boats and travel) I find myself working in all special needs school. From the autistic, ese, and many other diagnosis, to the court ordered thugs.
There is nothing like having to go "hands on" with a child.
We Use Team Training, and have a specialized response team. As one of the few males, I understand where you are coming from.

[Steve in SLO]

As a parent of a 13 year old boy with autism, I thank you for your kind words.
Our son, too has has needed to be restrained at school and it tears us up every time it happens. The thought of one's dear, kind-hearted boy getting to the point of fear/frustration that he needs to be restrained is not a good mental picture for any parent. In our case, my wife has been able to communicate with the school staff to help them identify when Matt is escalating and avoid triggering antecedents. Thankfully they've listened and learned well so we haven't had an incident in nearly a year.
Raising a kid with autism brings its own special challenges, and is a 24/7 high-alert state, but we can't feel sorry for ourselves because we know everyone who is raising any child will face equally hard challenges. Besides, feelings of self-pity would only bring bitterness, which is not our way. Our situation has made us better humans, parents and experts in human behavior. It has also made our daughter a kind and compassionate sister.
Again, thank you Mr Pres for your kind words and for being sensitive to our kids.

[SEABREEZE]

I too have experience with autistic parents and children. Many come to our farm, for farm fresh food. The children look forward to come to the farm. Most dont want to leave. As for unrullines, I had them climbing on the roof of my truck. They sure enjoy the annimals.

One mother started a foundation, we were the first to make a sizeable donation.

All I will say is, the parents are 150% commited.....

[DreaminJohn]

While he is "high-functioning", I can completely relate to your week. He had similar issues when they made him enter school through a different door.

Thank you for your kind words of support.

[rugbysecondrow]

I am glad there are people like you out there...it is really great.

[dekindy]

As a parent of a 13 year old boy with autism, I thank you for your kind words.
Our son, too has has needed to be restrained at school and it tears us up every time it happens. The thought of one's dear, kind-hearted boy getting to the point of fear/frustration that he needs to be restrained is not a good mental picture for any parent. In our case, my wife has been able to communicate with the school staff to help them identify when Matt is escalating and avoid triggering antecedents. Thankfully they've listened and learned well so we haven't had an incident in nearly a year.
Raising a kid with autism brings its own special challenges, and is a 24/7 high-alert state, but we can't feel sorry for ourselves because we know everyone who is raising any child will face equally hard challenges. Besides, feelings of self-pity would only bring bitterness, which is not our way. Our situation has made us better humans, parents and experts in human behavior. It has also made our daughter a kind and compassionate sister.
Again, thank you Mr Pres for your kind words and for being sensitive to our kids.

+1. Our son will be 15 in July and in addition to being on the Autism spectrum he has a seizure disorder. Developmentally he was about 5 until last year when he got an infection and went backwards. We were also in the middle of switching anti-seizure meds because his body could no longer tolerate the drug he had been taking for 12 years. We are still trying to get him back to being seizure free. He also started talking to himself and retreating into his own little world but recently that symptom seems to be getting gradually better.

It is tough. However you do not have to look very far to find a more handicapped child. We are grateful that he can do the things that he can do and can communicate with us. I don't know how parents deal with more severely handicapped children than our child because we have almost more than we can handle at times.

[Dave B]

+1. Our son will be 15 in July and in addition to being on the Autism spectrum he has a seizure disorder. Developmentally he was about 5 until last year when he got an infection and went backwards. We were also in the middle of switching anti-seizure meds because his body could no longer tolerate the drug he had been taking for 12 years. We are still trying to get him back to being seizure free. He also started talking to himself and retreating into his own little world but recently that symptom seems to be getting gradually better.

It is tough. However you do not have to look very far to find a more handicapped child. We are grateful that he can do the things that he can do and can communicate with us. I don't know how parents deal with more severely handicapped children than our child because we have almost more than we can handle at times.

What intermediate school did he go to?

sorry you can always shoot me a PM.

[SEABREEZE]

Lets take it to the next question, whats the root cause.

Lots of speculation.

Your thoughts.

[Dave B]

Lets take it to the next question, whats the root cause.

Lots of speculation.

Your thoughts.


Root of Autism?

I don't think there is a concrete identifyer. I will admit I am not a doctor, but I would imagine there is a nature versus nuture debate that could go on and on and be rather difficult.

I understand the desire to solve this problem as parents want what is best for their child period. Looking for a "cure" can give hope as well as frustration to those...I am guessing here, so go easy.

My point of this was simply to state that I have so much admiration for parents and young people who live with autism. It is not a disease, yet so many people treat folks with it that way. in my view.

I have the opportunity to work with kids who have a differing levels. Some with super high functioning abilities and some who need the assistance of others to function. With such a wide array of indicators that can set off a child I appreciate parents patience and the amount of effort that goes into raising kids.

Please I do not want us to take this into a debate. I simply wanted to share my absolute support to those who deal with it. I felt so badly this week working with "alex" as he simply couldn't control his emotions. Today he knew I would be called to come and get him and kind of looked relieved I was there. One of my holds I am forced to use sometimes is alot like a hug. I think he simply needed that and I carried him in the "hug" to a quiet place and we talked for a bit before I went back to my room. He couldn't figure out how to cope with his schedule change and lost it. He couldn't ask for a hug, so he hit and screamed.

[goldyjackson]

It is tough. However you do not have to look very far to find a more handicapped child. We are grateful that he can do the things that he can do and can communicate with us. I don't know how parents deal with more severely handicapped children than our child because we have almost more than we can handle at times.

I'd imagine they get through it the same way that you do. With love and thanks for their child, whatever the challenges. My 9 year old was initially diagnosed and treated for PDD. What an amazing journey he's had, and how much I've learned about my own expectations of parenthood!

I feel bad even mentioning it, because he's doing just so well. What helped me, and continues to is what Temple Grandon says when asked if she would be any different. "Of course not!" is her response. Kids are very understanding these days, with respect to this. I had a kid with Aspergers do a camp I was running a couple of years ago, and the other campers were just so nice to him and tolerant of his little foibles.

[fourflys]

Good on you Pres!

We have a family in our church small group that has a 5 year old with Angleman's Syndrome... this disease affects anything from the muscles to the Brain and everything in between. He is the sweetest kid in the world, but can be a little "active" at times ;)

Any parents that can do that day in and day out have my upmost appreciation and the crazy thing is... they're just living, not realizing the amount of patience they have that the rest of us can see and are amazed at...

Sometimes I see these parents on the talk shows that have pretty normally functioning kids and are complaining because the kids are "wild" (probably because the parents don't "parent")... I just want to slap these parents and show them what they could be dealing with day in and day out...

Good all of you that have these blesses children! And I really mean that...

Chris

[R2D2]

Thanks for the kind words.
My 13 year daughter Katherine is highly-functional Autistic.
She lives with my ex-wife but luckily spends a lot of time with us.
She can throw a fit once in a while but overall she is a lot of fun and highly intelligent in many respects. Sometimes she seems to just have sensory overload. Just too much going on at once.
My German Sheppard Zeus knows she's special and needs attention. They are inseperable and he guards her 24/7.
My only wish is she is always protected and guided thru life.
If I ever win the Lotto I will construct a tall brick wall around our place and just spend the days hanging out with her. She loves to be involved (i.e. supervise) with all activities that my Dad and are doing.
A little antedote to demonstrate her inteligence.
She was exploring Zeus' eye until he got irritiated. My wife told her Zeus didn't like that and could they make a deal that she wouldn't do it anymore.
She said, "OK Susan. But he has two eyes!"
What is really amazing is the way she can navigate the www to find and watch the shows she likes. She also has a fixation on Will Smith and the Fresh Prince and carries a picture of Jefferey around.
I love her so much..............
I call her my "rain girl" and she's taught me to have compassion and empathy to anyone less fortunate.

[nm87710]

my only wish is she is always protected and guided thru life.

+1