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View Full Version : Custom Calfee- Final Sale- No Returns


Sandy
03-24-2005, 12:46 PM
Custom Calfee Carbon Fiber
Size- Large
Condition- Very Poor and Deteriorating Rapidly
Age- A Very, Very Old 50 Years
Color- Pale White, with Pink Blemishes, Strange Black and Blue Markings
Model- Kevan

Description- Poorly Aligned Carbon Tubes, Worse Construction
Almost No Moving Parts
Not Fully Assembled-Pieces Won't Fit
No Maintenance Ever Done
Extremely Ugly

Reason For Selling- Local Dump Refuses To Take- No Hazardous Materials
Price- $500 or More- Seller pays the $500 or More
Shipping- Free, Anytime, Anyplace
Terms of Sale- Final, No Returns-Ever

If Sale Is Not Made This Time, The Bike Will Be Detonated

Blastinbob
03-24-2005, 01:58 PM
snowing in Maryland. :fight:

zap
03-24-2005, 02:50 PM
Sandy probably had too much tuna fish for lunch and is trying to burn calories somehow.

Now about that broken Ottrott that I hear is for sale..........

Kevan
03-24-2005, 02:53 PM
but for the 2 guys standing at your front door, wearing white uniforms, holding what appears to be some sort of bicycle restraining device. A white van, with caged windows, is standing by, idling in your driveway.

Go answer the door Sans, they're interested in the bike. :D

Sandy
03-24-2005, 05:29 PM
Oh boy! Oh boy! The good humor man is here. I'll be right out to buy some ice cream sandwiches. Thanks good buddy. :)

Sandy

Sandy
03-24-2005, 05:30 PM
Did you really expect any takers?

So Sad So STill Serotta Sandy

Sandy
03-24-2005, 06:38 PM
Wrong again. The Ottrott is in fine shape. The rider is broken.

I have lost 13 pounds thus far on my diet, but I need to ride much more. I plan on losing 27 more. When that time comes, AND I am in better cycling shape, I'm going to chase you and Zip on your speedy tandem. I know that I will not catch you, but I will give a nice chase. By the END of the summer...

Chasing tandems but catching flies,


Choking Sandy

Sandy
03-25-2005, 02:01 PM
1. The seller pays the agreed upon selling price.
2. There are no takers.

Could the above have anything at all to do with the terms of sale? Final, No Returns-Ever

I tried Sweet Pea.

Buddy

spiderman
03-25-2005, 03:58 PM
stick it in the mail
for my nephew to use...
i'll provide the address if you don't know it...

Sandy
03-26-2005, 03:00 PM
We have 2 problems here.

1. We have not decided on a price that I will have to pay you (since I am the seller) to take Kevan.
2. I can't stick it in the mail since USPS will not take hazardous materials- Nor will UPS or FedEx. How about pony express?

Seller Sandy

H.Frank Beshear
03-26-2005, 03:21 PM
Sandy I've been doing a little research on this rare and misunderstood breed. According to the ACCKKC (American Carbon Calfee Kevan Kennel Club) these animals while trainable in the young formative years become difficult to control in the later years. They eat enormous amounts of feed and are extremley hard to house break. However once they have bonded with a human they are a very rewarding and loyal animal that will provide hours of mindless enjoyment. I have also found that once they have bonded with a family they are bonded for life and if separted will travel enormous distance to return to their human and if they are unable to return have been known refuse to eat and will eventually starve themselves to death. I was tempted by your very generous offer but after my discovery I have decided that he would be much better of with his human of choice. Sorry Sandy I'm afraid you're stuck with him. With tongue firmly in cheek. Frank

Sandy
03-26-2005, 06:03 PM
If I took up residence on Mars or the moon, do you think that he would still follow me? Are you really truly saying that I am doomed and that this non-housebroken critter will follow me around for the rest of my life. Say it ain't so! Please say it ain't so! :confused: :butt: :confused: :butt:

So Sick So Stuck So Sad So Scared So Severely Shaken,

Sad Sack Serotta Sandy

spiderman
03-26-2005, 09:31 PM
We have 2 problems here.

1. We have not decided on a price that I will have to pay you (since I am the seller) to take Kevan.
2. I can't stick it in the mail since USPS will not take hazardous materials- Nor will UPS or FedEx. How about pony express?

Seller Sandy
no problem...
pony express is all we use around here...
...except the pony has two wheels.
and as far as price goes...
some things are
as they say...
priceless!

Sandy
03-27-2005, 02:37 PM
Not so easy there.

1. The pony express deal fell through, or should I say fell dead. The ponies took one look at Kevan, then they tottered for a second or so, and fell over dead. I am trying to train some horses with some real tight blinders on to do the job. :)
2. Bicycling is priceless. Serottas are priceless. Kevan is priceless?? :confused: :confused:


Back to the Barn,


Stallion Sandy