Question for guys who ride with their wives/girlfriends

[rugbysecondrow]

Background:
My wife rides some but hasn't been on a bike in over a year due to pregnancy and recovery (spin class though). She doesn't know much, but enjoys it. What prompts this is that I got her reading for our ride this morning, except her helmet. She forgot it at the house and said, " I thought you were getting it."

Question:
Do most guys help their wives/girlfriends get ready? Helmets, shoes, bike, loading, unloading, lube, tires, tubes, air etc. or do you let her be responsible for her own gear? Am I actually helping or should I do tough love and make her get all of her own stuff ready? We weren't far from the house, but I also thought the helmet is her responsibility.

My Opinion:

I want to help, I see that I know more than her and I am a solution/fixer/get the hell out the door type so I try to help. I think I might be enabling her though and that she should be responsible for her own gear. I also understand that I might come of as a jerk saying that.

What say you all?

[dave thompson]

My wife and I are riding partners. I've taken the responsibility for the maintenance of her bike and setting it up the way she wants/likes it to be. So before a ride or before the bikes are loaded into our van, her bicycle is made ready by me; air in tires, spare tubes, water bottles filled, pump on the bike, bike mechanically sound.

As far as her personal stuff; shoes, helmets, glasses, gloves, food etc., she has a 'go-bag' which contains all her "essentials" necessary for her to ride correctly and safely, which she will either load into the van if we're going to a ride, or draw from when we're starting a ride from home.

I've found it best for each of us to be responsible for our own personal gear and the 'go-bags' take care of a large part of that.

[dekindy]

I would make a checklist and then review it with her before leaving. It will keep you both from forgetting things like suntan lotion, sunglasses that might be in the vehicle that you are not taking, etc.

[Acotts]

Dont forget the anti-cramp sex.

Who was that? That was classic.

[thwart]

I ride with my wife at least a couple times a week; it's a great, great opportunity for a recovery ride. Typically 15 to 30 miles in length.

I'm like Dave---take care of the bike prep and usually fill a water bottle for her as well. We're lucky enough to be located where we never have to put the bikes in/on a car, so no packing or anything along that line is needed. Oh, yeah... I may grab some TP for her as well in case there's a need. She frequently seems to forget that.

Figure that there are bigger battles than raising any sort of stink about the above.

Then again, I suppose you could make the argument that 'forcing' her to do the bike prep would better prepare her for any on-road problems...

[rugbysecondrow]

Then again, I suppose you could make the argument that 'forcing' her to do the bike prep would better prepare her for any on-road problems...

This is the crux of it for me. I don't have a problem doing it, in fact I really enjoy riding with her and being help to help facilitate it. I like being helpful in this regard. My concern is that she won't learn what goes into it and then will be unprepared. If she only rode once every 3 months, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but she is starting to ride more often and with her friends, so I don't want to be an enabler.

[RPS]

My wife and I normally ride a tandem when riding together, and I take care of all bike-related issues. She is more organized than I so taking care of her riding stuff is never an issue. When we drive to the Hill Country which is 5 hours away she packs all her own stuff -- shoes, bottles, glasses, helmet, gloves, clothes, etc....

If anything she is more likely to remind me of something I forgot. I'm lucky in that sense. :)

[Louis]

A single guy's comment: Here's an analogy: while you might change the oil in her car, you don't pack her purse for her.

(Although single, I know enough to say that that would not have been a good line to use when five miles from home you noticed that she had forgotten her helmet... :p )

[pdmtong]

if you want her to ride with you, do whatever it takes and don't worry about it.

[SManning]

From a wife's point of view:

What do you with a husband who forgets his helmet, the connector for the Chariot (he took it off when he rode the trainer), water bottles, air pump, shock pump, allen wrenches?

The argument really goes both ways, but as someone else said, there's bigger fish to fry in a marriage than that.

BTW, when he forgot the connector, I ended up going back home to get it so he could play with our daughter at the park. There have also been times where Matt has reminded me about my shoes as well...

[yakstone]

I use the Thompson method stated above. Works for me. I just wish my wife would ride more. We like taking the tandem but she doesn't ride enough to be able to go for too long.

[alancw3]

i ride with a girlfriend/significant other and take responsibility for bike readiness but she has to take responsibility for being ready to ride i.e. helmet, gloves, shoes, etc. no way i am going to take care of that too!

[zap]

I pack the cycling bag, helmet, correct shoes (have to make sure spd or look), bag containing tube tool tire iron, glasses if any. She packs the after ride clothing bag, preps drinks and selects on bike food. Bags are positioned in the wagon around whatever bike(s) we are taking.

We review before leaving the house.

Have no idea how this procedure got started, but it has worked well for us for what, 17 (?) plus years.

[Tobias]

Enjoy the ride and don't make it seem like you are doing her a favor.

[MattTuck]

There are as many correct responses to this as there are stars in the sky.

It totally depends on her, you and what you both get out of the experience.

If your only concern is "enabling" her to ride without the requisite skills, maybe suggest that she take a class at the LBS that teaches the basic of maintenance and "in the field" repairs.

Forgetting a helmet is a big deal, but I can't say I've never forgotten anything. I drove 2.5 hours to ride up Ascutney in Vermont and as I was getting ready, (to my horror) realized I had brought my left road shoe, and left mtb shoe.

The key (I think) in a well functioning relationship is communication. So, ask her questions and invite her to ask you questions to make sure you're both ready for the ride. No need to pack her stuff for her, but having a checklist to go down isn't a bad idea.

[tv_vt]

I love riding with my wife, and we follow the Dave T protocols above. I get her bike ready, air in the tires, check tires for cuts, chain lubed, brakes/cables ok, etc. We ride from the house a lot, so if we forget something, you just walk in and get it. Suggest that as a way of learning what you need. We did a ride today where we drove 10 miles to the start, and she (and I) have a gear bag with our stuff. We often do a quick review in the car as we're leaving, got this, got that, etc. just to make sure we don't forget something. If we do, not the end of the world... Relax and have fun.

TV

[dekindy]

This is the crux of it for me. I don't have a problem doing it, in fact I really enjoy riding with her and being help to help facilitate it. I like being helpful in this regard. My concern is that she won't learn what goes into it and then will be unprepared. If she only rode once every 3 months, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but she is starting to ride more often and with her friends, so I don't want to be an enabler.

That might be unrealistic. The couples that I ride with, the women don't know how to change a flat, don't know what a bottom bracket is, or could name the 3 major groupo manufacturers. Yet they ride thousands of miles per year and are great couples. Don't sweat it. That is what cell phones are for or there is usually someone like me around willing to help. Heck, we have even helped guys on the side of the road that had not fixed a flat before and were not sure what to do.

[OtayBW]

....Figure that there are bigger battles than raising any sort of stink about the above....
Simple and elegant.

[rugbysecondrow]

From a wife's point of view:

What do you with a husband who forgets his helmet, the connector for the Chariot (he took it off when he rode the trainer), water bottles, air pump, shock pump, allen wrenches?

The argument really goes both ways, but as someone else said, there's bigger fish to fry in a marriage than that.

BTW, when he forgot the connector, I ended up going back home to get it so he could play with our daughter at the park. There have also been times where Matt has reminded me about my shoes as well...


This has been interesting to me. Seems that woman and men participate in this activity differently. To be clear though, it doesn't bother me at all to get her ready to ride. There is no arguement and this is not contentious, but I guess I think it is important for her to know how to do some basic things so she is not stuck on the side of the road. If she only rode with me, it would be different, but she rides with her girlfriends too.

Last night, after I got her bike ready, I took her downstairs and walked her through what I did and why I did it to help build her knowledge base. In the next few weeks I will show her how to change a flat and how clean and lube her chain. A bike 101 class is probably a good idea.

Thanks, and like I said, it is interesting to see the varying approach here.

[Elefantino]

My wife and I are riding partners. I've taken the responsibility for the maintenance of her bike and setting it up the way she wants/likes it to be. So before a ride or before the bikes are loaded into our van, her bicycle is made ready by me; air in tires, spare tubes, water bottles filled, pump on the bike, bike mechanically sound.

As far as her personal stuff; shoes, helmets, glasses, gloves, food etc., she has a 'go-bag' which contains all her "essentials" necessary for her to ride correctly and safely, which she will either load into the van if we're going to a ride, or draw from when we're starting a ride from home.

I've found it best for each of us to be responsible for our own personal gear and the 'go-bags' take care of a large part of that.
Sage words.

Other sage words: Pull a lot, including in all headwinds.

And no whining.

[93legendti]

if you want her to ride with you, do whatever it takes and don't worry about it.
That's my view.

[KeithS]

Yes dear. Whatever you say dear.

[Velosmith]

We (my wife and I) work it out a lot like Dave. She's in charge of the banana pancakes (I'm not so good at that), I'm in charge of making sure the bike is ready to go. Personal stuff like helmets are ultimately our individual responsibility.

Having said that, I looked over at her the other day as we were getting in the car and asked, "got your helmet?" and received that "oh crap look, I knew I forgot something". Thing is, She has saved me a time or two also.

I guess we are mutually forgetful and thankful for each other's double check from time to time.

[C5 Snowboarder]

interesting replies...

My GF is a great rider--- she takes care of getting everything ready for her bike.. including air in her tires, tools in the seat bag, water, food.. I do mine and she does hers..

We carry the bikes inside my SUV --- I am at the tailgate waiting for her to hand her bike off to me-- everything relating for her ride today is her job --- I take care me -- she takes care of her stuff. That way there is no fault if something is not at the meeting place.

[DHallerman]

I do air (tires).

She does water (bottles).

And we both do a mix of all the other stuff, reminding each other...helmets, gloves, shoes, arm warmers, pocket food, cell phones.

I mean, anyone can forget anything, so we figure if we both kinda go through the metaphorical checklist of things to bring, we're less likely to forget.

Two heads, two wheels, two bikes.

Dave, who is the main mechanic around here but I was talking about the mundane specific ride stuff and anyway she can repair her own flats when we're out on the road

[avalonracing]

My best advice is don't take your wife and your girlfriend on the same ride.

[rugbysecondrow]

My best advice is don't take your wife and your girlfriend on the same ride.

:)

[Jeff N.]

if you want her to ride with you, do whatever it takes and don't worry about it.
Absolutely. Heck, I even make sure all her ride clothing is clean and laid out, socks, shoes, sunglasses, helmet, the whole enchilada. I load the tandem the night before, water bottles already full, odometer already zero'd, tires already topped off. If there's one thing I don't want, it's an argument to erupt over petty BS on ride day. It's hard enough just getting her out on the thing! :p Jeff N.