Spouse Deflections Needed!

[GuyGadois]

My wife is giving me grief for having too many bikes. :argue: My go to deflection, "Maybe I'll start collect Porsches" is loosing steam. :crap: I need more ideas.

Please help.

Guy

[WickedWheels]

Tell her to get rid of some shoes

If that doesn't work then a simple "at least it's not a gambling or a drinking problem" helps to put things into perspective

[GuyGadois]

Tell her to get rid of some shoes

If that doesn't work then a simple "at least it's not a gambling or a drinking problem" helps to put things into perspective

I'm not sure she has enough shoes to make that point. We like wine so a drinking problem probably wouldn't work. I'm too cheap to gamble. She would see right through that one.

[Tom Byrnes]

Here is what has worked (so far) for me:

Let your wife buy or purchase what she wants, if you can afford it. Giving her the chance to splurge on something she wants makes it easier for you to splurge on another bike. (But, it is starting to get expensive for me!).

Good luck.

Tom

[rwsaunders]

Tell her that it could be worse...Tiger Woods collected bimbos... :cool:

[Steve in SLO]

Bring her to my garage to see my bikes AND Porsches...she'll feel very lucky.

[RkyMtn]

Bring her to my garage to see my bikes AND Porsches...she'll feel very lucky.

(LOL!!) Yeah, but she might STAY!!!

[Bruce K]

+1 on Tom's idea

It has worked so far.

BK

[LesMiner]

Present your spouse with a multiple choice of how to spend your recreational time

A. Fast women - keeps you out of traffic and bad weather
B. Fast cars - she can always ride along and get her a crash helmet
C. Fast motorcycles - gets you places fast besides any kind of crash you would be dead anyway, life insurance? Or you could go together, she can just hop on the back and you can die together.
D. Fast bicycles - more healthy and less expensive than the other choices.

Another suggestion, look around your neighborhood, friends, or co-workers. I'll bet a lot of them have more recreational junk than you do. Something like "look at so n' so he must have paid $30K for that boat and what was it he paid for a slip at the marinea $200 a month?" Or something like "too bad about her. All his ski trips to Vail, he had a snow bunny on every slope. Now he is broke and she gets nothing" See other recreation could be a lot worse. Or you could go with an admission of your bicycle obsession along with a patronizing tone. "Oh honey I know I am just so obsessed with these bikes. I get out there on the road and pound out those miles to keep fit. It has really kept me fit and trim and a little buffed up. What drives me is to keep you noticing me and not other guys. I need to keep cycling to keep you honey. It is all for you." A little corny perhaps but very often corny works.

[Lifelover]

Stop telling her about it and have it shipped to a friend's house.

Just blend the new stuff in slowly.

[Blue Jays]

Can you get divorced and simply live with her as committed boyfriend/girlfriend with separate bank accounts?

[Ray]

Just show her a few pictures of DBRK's basement and tell her she's lucky it hasn't gotten to that point. Yet.

Worked for me for several years until I stopped wanting to have so damn many bikes. Now I'm down to a few and its a non-issue.

-Ray

[Birddog]

Buy her a really nice vacuum cleaner. I mean a REALLY nice one.

Birddog

[Karin Kirk]

Keep going please, the entertainment value is awesome.

[Gothard]

Tell her you have one wife and many toys, or the reverse...

That said, cut her off right away. Happened to me, and it was quickly resolved by a few remarks re: we don't miss food on the table or a roof above our heads, and I work hard enough to indulge in a rather harmless hobby.

And...Her bikes are much better than mine.

[veloduffer]

Tell her you are taking up golf, which takes about 6-7 hrs for a round (3.5 to 4.5 hrs to play plus 1 hr of travel and 1/2 hour to warm up and minimum 1 hour at the 19th hole). And you plan to play on Sat & Sun.

Or offer to stop buying bikes if she'll give up the house cleaner and manicures. :argue:

[WickedWheels]

This actually worked for me...

When I first met her I got her an okay mtb (around $700). I started teaching her to really ride. Made vacations out of it, so she always associated biking with relaxation. Then I started upgrading her bike one part at a time. I would show her the new part vs the old part, explaining the difference and how it would improve her riding experience. After the explanation she noticed the difference, of course. Eventually, her $700 bike became a $2000+ bike.

When she started asking to go biking more and more I got her a decent road bike (very important--she most LOVE the color). The Cannondale Synapse in carbon with Tiagra worked great for a beginner. I started the upgrade thing with this one also, but then she got pregnant. Now the bike sits in front of the TV on a trainer and she rides it regularly.

With her having 2 new bikes me getting a new Orbea Orca with Dura-Ace and Zipps was not really a problem, especially since we're saving all this money by not skiing this year. It almost wasn't a discussion. I just casually informed her that I'm coming home with an $8k bike and that was it.

So the moral of the story is...
Get her pregnant

[false_Aest]

Just bring a realllly hot chick home with you.

"Babe, you said no more bikes. I started collecting ladies."

[cmg]

This actually worked for me...

When I first met her I got her an okay mtb (around $700). I started teaching her to really ride. Made vacations out of it, so she always associated biking with relaxation. Then I started upgrading her bike one part at a time. I would show her the new part vs the old part, explaining the difference and how it would improve her riding experience. After the explanation she noticed the difference, of course. Eventually, her $700 bike became a $2000+ bike.

When she started asking to go biking more and more I got her a decent road bike (very important--she most LOVE the color). The Cannondale Synapse in carbon with Tiagra worked great for a beginner. I started the upgrade thing with this one also, but then she got pregnant. Now the bike sits in front of the TV on a trainer and she rides it regularly.

With her having 2 new bikes me getting a new Orbea Orca with Dura-Ace and Zipps was not really a problem, especially since we're saving all this money by not skiing this year. It almost wasn't a discussion. I just casually informed her that I'm coming home with an $8k bike and that was it.

So the moral of the story is...
Get her pregnant


post a photo of the Orca/Dura-Ace/Zipps bike...........

[SEABREEZE]

This actually worked for me...

When I first met her I got her an okay mtb (around $700). I started teaching her to really ride. Made vacations out of it, so she always associated biking with relaxation. Then I started upgrading her bike one part at a time. I would show her the new part vs the old part, explaining the difference and how it would improve her riding experience. After the explanation she noticed the difference, of course. Eventually, her $700 bike became a $2000+ bike.

When she started asking to go biking more and more I got her a decent road bike (very important--she most LOVE the color). The Cannondale Synapse in carbon with Tiagra worked great for a beginner. I started the upgrade thing with this one also, but then she got pregnant. Now the bike sits in front of the TV on a trainer and she rides it regularly.

With her having 2 new bikes me getting a new Orbea Orca with Dura-Ace and Zipps was not really a problem, especially since we're saving all this money by not skiing this year. It almost wasn't a discussion. I just casually informed her that I'm coming home with an $8k bike and that was it.

So the moral of the story is...
Get her pregnant

Exactaly what I was thinking, as I read through this thread, Just get the wife involved in bicycling.

I dont know about the Pregnancy part, factor in college, cost more than most have in there stable. LOL

[soulspinner]

Tell her she gets the same space, time and money to devote to what She wants. Ride off into the sunset. :bike:

[peanutgallery]

Buy her a nice car and keep it clean and detailed, or better yet just keep her current ride clean and detailed. My long-suffering bride is a destroyer of motorized vehicles. A cataclysm of kids, winter, dogs and minor mechanical mishaps can take its toll real quick. Keep it clean, pick up the pieces and put it back together regularly and you will be golden if you just don't pass judgement everytime you see a steaming, scratched, dented heap in the driveway. Works for me

[veloduffer]

From my own experience, my wife and I used to bike alot. She's got a custom Rivendell and a Bridgestone XO (that is being replaced with a Lynskey Cooper Cross). So she's fine with bikes.

Plus, I buy frames used and built them myself.

[Dave B]

Be honest, tell her bikes are your passion outside of her. Remind her that the therapy you get from riding allows you to be a better husband to her and while you love bikes none compare to her. Then back it up by skipping a ride or two and spend it with her doing something she wants. Your wife wants to be the top priority in your life. She probably thinks bikes are the way you talk and go on about them.

I hav heard the argument before about, "well I could go to strip clubs and blah blah!". She just wants to feel loved and that she is number one! Show it to her enough and bikes won't be an issue.

Good luck

Dave

[93legendti]

+1 on Tom's idea

It has worked so far.

BK
+2.
Whenever my wife buys something and tells me what it cost, I ask sincerely "why didn't you buy two?"

[C5 Snowboarder]

That is a tough one -- maybe you need to chose one or the other and since this forum is so much on esthetics.. post a picture of her and your bikes... we'll help you decide. :beer:

Or if you want both -- each time before you tell her you are in need of more bike gear-- draw her a nice hot bath with candles spaced around the tub, have various lotions and soaps avail, pour her a nice glass of champagne, wash her back and turn down the lights and whisper in her ear. Try it once and see hwat happens.. :beer:

[Mike748]

When I bought my Ottrott she said ok but she wanted a gps and a dvd recorder. Seemed fair.

I bought her the really nice $800 vacuum a few years ago for Valentine's day. That was a big hit.

[Ray]

I bought her the really nice $800 vacuum a few years ago for Valentine's day. That was a big hit.
This is a joke, right?

-Ray

[GuyGadois]

very good ideas that will help. I guess i'll shelve the idea in telling her I am thinning the herd to fund an annual 'guys' trip to Thialand and go with a few of the ideas brought up in the post. I have a neighbor with like 4 boats. I'll show interest in boating. My other neighbor likes RVs. At the same time i'll look into a new vacuum. That should do it! :)

[Blue Jays]

My advice would be to ditch the "guys trip to Thailand" thing if you're in the midst of big-ticket bicycle acquisition negotiations.
The reputation of that very beautiful country triggers too many alarms in a woman's head.

[SoCalSteve]

Here is what I tell my wife.....and it works really well.

Honey, is the mortgage paid? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have electricity? Heat? See, dont worry...

Works every time!

Just sayin'

Steve

[DfCas]

For a while I only bought unpainted ti frames. She never knew when I bought or sold one because they all looked the same.

[rugbysecondrow]

gently creep in some cheap bikes from CL (maybe 3), then next time she says something about the number of bikes, get rid of one of the cheap ones. Then, propose getting rid of the other two to consolidate into one bike ( of course a nice custom like a Bedford).

Other Ideas:

Start keeping one in your car?

take one to work for your office and lunch rides?

This in conjunction with Toms idea will work.

[Bob Loblaw]

This is great! Here's my $.02

1. If she's worried about the money, point out that almost none of them were purchased new and when you do sell a bike, usually you get more than you bought them for. It's an investment. Why liquidate an investment prematurely?

2. If it's the space, offer to build a shed outside. Then put all the stuff in it that's making the the garage too crowded for your bikes.

3. Point out that your kids are somewhat into it and you want to share the hobby with them as they get older. This has worked with my comic books for at least ten years.

4. Out of sight, out of mind. Move them to a place where she doesn't see them all the time, or wall off that section of the garage.

[veloduffer]

4. Out of sight, out of mind. Move them to a place where she doesn't see them all the time, or wall off that section of the garage.

I think my wife might draw the line if I were to hang bikes in the bedroom. :banana:

[gearguywb]

Be careful about wanting a wife/GF that rides a lot. I have that situation and it ends up costing us double for everything. For example, she bought a Sachs team cross bike at NAHBS....and I got a Kirk T shirt! (nice shirt though ;))

[Chad Engle]

What size do you ride?

I'd be more than happy to help, please pm me for the address to send your "extra" bicycles, you're welcome.

[Bud_E]

Cry and don't stop until she relents.

[MarleyMon]

First - deny, deny, deny.
"What, this old thing? Its not new, Billy Bob has been riding it for 2 years. I just got it back"
Or "New, naah, I just had it resprayed."

When that fails, resort to offsite storage.

[djg]

I find that honesty is the best policy. After hiding stuff and apologizing.

My wife really indulges me a fair bit. At least as much as anybody ought. Thus far, a road bike, cross bike, tt bike, and an old road bike converted to a fixed gear bike, haven't been a problem. At least once we recognize that a certain amount of mockery is not a problem. That's because she knows that the mortgage and the college funds are safe, and there's nothing up on blocks in the front yard.

You know, if you know your wife, and she knows you (very likely, at least as well as you do), then there are ways to broach subjects and ways not, times to do it and times not. Feel your way as you go, and remember that really good marketing plans, like really good begging, are not one-shot deals: you can start a conversation, retreat, return to it, etc. And at some point, you can offer to sell the bike you least want to keep to make room or what have you. And in the end, the key marginal difference is that between one bike and zero. And even that last bike is replaceable.

Here's one thing of which I'm confident: beware of easy and cheap internet expertise on how to "handle" your spouse.

Here's a measure of my expertise: there's a Look 585 frame set hiding in an old bike case in the attic.

[Steve in SLO]

I just got a text informing me that he just got a steal on a bike he found on Craigslist. He then texted the details and you know what? He just got a real steal off Craigslist. He couldn't help himself, it was too good to pass up. The man's a tragic victim of his own good fortune. Pity him.
So like any good friend I have offered him my shed to sleep in, at least until things cool down at home. I would have offered him my shed to put the bike in, but there are too many bikes in there already and my wife might see it and assume the worst.

[bicycletricycle]

Stop telling her about it and have it shipped to a friend's house.

Just blend the new stuff in slowly.

it s kinda like lying but if done right it is more like just not saying anything at all.

[dd74]

For that many bikes, you're going to need more than deflections, you're going to need to hire a PR firm. :D

[GuyGadois]

I just got a text informing me that he just got a steal on a bike he found on Craigslist. He then texted the details and you know what? He just got a real steal off Craigslist. He couldn't help himself, it was too good to pass up. The man's a tragic victim of his own good fortune. Pity him.
So like any good friend I have offered him my shed to sleep in, at least until things cool down at home. I would have offered him my shed to put the bike in, but there are too many bikes in there already and my wife might see it and assume the worst.

One reason I just bought this new bike today is that it has the previous owner's name painted on it under the clear coat. Obviously, I am just holding the bike for him ;)

PS Who could pass up a 1990 Holland with Superbe Pro? Honey, I love you. Really.

[OtayBW]

Withhold sex.









Wait a minute....

[dd74]

Tell her you're opening a bike shop...part time...out of your garage.

[Dekonick]

This is a joke, right?

-Ray

+1

I hope that was a joke... that is almost as bad as buying her a weed whacker for her birthday...

Jewelry... a REALLY nice watch... (something she will wear and see EVERY day...) will lessen the friction. It also serves to tell time!

My wife is pretty understanding now... but still... the addiction to cycling is still there...

I just really don't lust for frames much anymore as I LOVE what I have. I would like a custom Kirk or KB... but that can wait...

[Dekonick]

gently creep in some cheap bikes from CL (maybe 3), then next time she says something about the number of bikes, get rid of one of the cheap ones. Then, propose getting rid of the other two to consolidate into one bike ( of course a nice custom like a Bedford).

Other Ideas:

Start keeping one in your car?

take one to work for your office and lunch rides?

This in conjunction with Toms idea will work.

OOooohhhh slick! Now I understand how you are getting your stable down to 3.

BTW - broke another spoke today! Can you believe it? Having the wheel re-built...

[rugbysecondrow]

[OOooohhhh slick! Now I understand how you are getting your stable down to 3.




;)

[rugbysecondrow]

Jewelry... a REALLY nice watch... (something she will wear and see EVERY day...) will lessen the friction. It also serves to tell time!

...


She got one of these too.

[hookookadoo]

My wife is giving me grief for having too many bikes. :argue: My go to deflection, "Maybe I'll start collect Porsches" is loosing steam. :crap: I need more ideas.

Please help.

Guy

If your bikes have a 52-52.5 TT then I must side with your wife and suggest you get rid of a few of your better ones. :D I'm here for you if you need a buyer ;)

[Steve in SLO]

gently creep in some cheap bikes from CL (maybe 3), then next time she says something about the number of bikes, get rid of one of the cheap ones. Then, propose getting rid of the other two to consolidate into one bike ( of course a nice custom like a Bedford).

Brilliant!
This takes premeditated subterfuge to a new level.

I used a similar technique recently with cars:
My wife thought I should have one less car. I traded my Porsche 993 C2S and Works Mini Cooper in for a Porsche GT3. Believe it or not she was satisfied and even happy.

With bicycles, I prefer to take my lumps as they come, as hiding things does not go over well at my house.

[Volant]

You might like to have a conversation with your wife and find out why there's a problem (perceived or not). She may be upset because you spend more time with your bikes and on the forum than with her and having the bikes there is a constant reminder. Just a guess...it could be a myriad of things. But, talking with HER would be a good place to start.

[toaster]

Tell her when the car's gone you're at work and if the car's outside and one of the bikes is missing then she'll know you're only 2-3 hours from being home again.

That's better than not knowing where you are or what you're doing!

[Blue Jays]

"...You might like to have a conversation with your wife and find out why there's a problem (perceived or not).
She may be upset because you spend more time with your bikes and on the forum than with her and having the bikes there is a constant reminder.
Just a guess...it could be a myriad of things. But, talking with HER would be a good place to start..."How dare you become serious and present both sober & realistic advice into this conversation thread! ;)

[Karin Kirk]

You might like to have a conversation with your wife and find out why there's a problem (perceived or not). She may be upset because you spend more time with your bikes and on the forum than with her and having the bikes there is a constant reminder. Just a guess...it could be a myriad of things. But, talking with HER would be a good place to start.

:) :) :)
Volant and Mr. President - nice job guys!

Hiding bikes in the attic... comparing bike collecting to having additional girlfriends... suggesting it could be worse because you might want to collect something more expensive.... seriously??? Wow. :no:

[rpm]

Back in the early 70's, I had arranged to trade in my bright yellow Schwinn for a bright yellow Bottechia. I figured as long as it was yellow, my wife wouldn't notice the difference, because she didn't pay much attention to my bike. It absolutely would have worked, but one day I left my wallet on the seat of the car while I went to pay for gas with my credit card. She found the sales receipt in my wallet and I was outed. Still, it's a good strategy, especially if you replace one bulbous black carbon bike with another, since they all look alike.

Now, nearly 40 years later, we're much more mellow. She never looks in my wallet, and I never look in her purse. I have room for 4 bikes in the garage, and she doesn't care what they are, as long as the number stays the same. In turn, I don't question her plans for home improvements. We've lived in the same house for nearly the whole time, and I would have thought that we had done everything there was to do, but she always finds new projects. It's all good.

[rugbysecondrow]

:) :) :)
Volant and Mr. President - nice job guys!

Hiding bikes in the attic... comparing bike collecting to having additional girlfriends... suggesting it could be worse because you might want to collect something more expensive.... seriously??? Wow. :no:

Mostly in jest, right guys???

:)

[Blue Jays]

"...Mostly in jest, right guys??? :)..."As far as everyone knows!

[weisan]

You might like to have a conversation with your wife and find out why there's a problem (perceived or not). She may be upset because you spend more time with your bikes and on the forum than with her and having the bikes there is a constant reminder. Just a guess...it could be a myriad of things. But, talking with HER would be a good place to start.
Hit the nail in the head. Game Over. :D

[bking]

:) :) :)
Volant and Mr. President - nice job guys!

Hiding bikes in the attic... comparing bike collecting to having additional girlfriends... suggesting it could be worse because you might want to collect something more expensive.... seriously??? Wow. :no:

Voice of wisdom, voice of warning, one of perspective (I was laughing after your first post on page one of this thread)...

I have a friend at work, came in one morning after laying down a few of these to his wife, you know, "I'm bringing home the bacon, taking care of you, the kids etc etc, if I want to buy this or do that, blah, blah, blah", you know, pretty proud.
Whoa. "What'd she say", I asked.
"she just listened, then smiled a little and laughed. Then walked away and that was it", he stated, as if it was all resolved.
"Sleep with one eye open", I warned, "this ain't over".

[Johny]

Give a man a new bike; feed him for a day. Teach a man to enjoy riding; feed him for a lifetime.

Ride more/spend time with family, instead of coming to this forum/others for inspiration to get a new bike, we would be happier. My 0.000002 cents.

[dd74]

Then again, my first road race-able bike, a 1985 Colnago, is still pertinent today. Sometimes I think I should get rid of everything and keep just that.

Sometimes...

[timto]

OK so I buy bike stuff and am as addicted to equipment as the rest of you... but i also love to treat my wife well. She is reminded that I think of her all the time. I pay attention and like to get her stuff/do things with her she didn't even know she needed / wanted yet.

She knows I think of and care for her. She has no qualms about me treating myself well because it doesn't come at the expense of not treating her well (be it time, gifts or whatever)

[rugbysecondrow]

She knows I think of and care for her. She has no qualms about me treating myself well because it doesn't come at the expense of not treating her well (be it time, gifts or whatever)

Actually this is important. I talk smack sometimes, but my wife is a very understanding women who knows that riding and bikes are something I enjoy. I incorporate my daughter and soon my son in my fun and I don't dump on her or the family in favor of my hobbies (of which riding is one of).

I learned early enough in my marriage that I shouldn't judge mine against others. A) they lie. B) they exaggerate. C) it is unimportant.

What works for me, might not work for you or anybody else and what works for them won't work for me. All jokes aside, remember that if the wife ain't happy, nobody is happy. Do what you have to do to make the wife happy and everything else false into place.