a story to restore your faith in people

[Climb01742]

on sunday we had to put one of our dogs to sleep. we asked to have him cremated. when i was talking to the cremation service, they asked how much the dog weighed, to set the price. i said 50 pounds, what he weighed at his healthy best. today the service called. when they picked up our dog from the vet hospital, they weighed him. an incredibly kind lady said that he only weighed 35 pounds (as his health failed, he lost weight.) she said that since he weighed less, there would be a $20 refund. was that ok?

the honesty of this woman and her service was a very bright spot in a sad few days. i never would have known what our dog weighed, and i never would have known about that $20. it would have been so easy for them to pocket that money. instead, they did the decent, honest, human thing. that is the kind of person you want taking care of the dog we lost.

there are good folks out there. the woman's name was bonnie. thank you, bonnie. we lost a dog but found a good human being.

[Ray]

So sorry to hear about your dog - that's gotta be really difficult and sad. Glad Bonnie was good to you. My experience is that most people are really good to other people. A little crazy in groups, but most folks are really good to other individuals. But its times like you're going through that really bring it home. I know some of the health care workers who helped us care for my parents in their last days were just incredibly kind people. And to know that they played that same role for so many other families in similarly difficult times. Amazing.

-Ray

[R2D2]

Sorry your dog passed.
Our little Rat Terrier got a blood disordered and passed in two days.
My wife and the other two dogs went into a tail spin of depression.
So I cured them with the arrival of a Jack Russell (Beannie Baby).
Beanie now runs the house!

[1centaur]

Very, very sorry, James. I know how much dogs mean to you.

Good karma to Bonnie.

[Louis]

Sorry to hear that James.

Not to make this any worse, but I've often wondered about cremation - how can one be sure that they actually give you your dog / cat / parent's ashes instead of a shovel full of whatever they happen have on hand? I'd want to be there for the whole thing, from the "needle of oblivion" (see below) to ash.


The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--

that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

[gasman]

Sorry to hear that James.




The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--

that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.


Man that is one bummer of a poem and seems to be so far from my experience with our dogs. They were loving wonderful and happy-and all black labs. However, I love most dogs and always think the best of them, but maybe not all owners.
Maybe I'm missing something, poetry has ever been my thing.

[CaptStash]

Sorry to hear that James.


The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.



And this was supposed to make a grieving dog lover feel better? Am I missing something here?

CaptStash.... (keeper of Airedales)

[Louis]

Guys,

When I first read it (years ago) I thought thought that it was a real bummer. I'm as big an animal lover as anyone out there - love pets and animals of all kinds, vegetarian, and all that jazz. As I thought about it though, I came to see it as quite amusing for the following reasons:

1) The irreverent bouncy tone,
2) The fact that the dog has a huge personality and is obviously superior to the stupid human, (anything that makes an animal look good and humans silly is great in my book)
3) The image of the dog "unmanning with a snap" is IMO a riot,
4) The fact that the dog, even though he is nolonger here, is really happy,
5) The image of a really cool animal hereafter where they hang out and read and write is neat (even though I don't even really believe in one for humans or pets, but I still think it's cool to think about).
6) The fact that Billy Collins is one of our most accessible poets today and I love his work

Bottom line: it's about a tough subject, but in the end the dog is cool and happy, so it makes a difficult situation potentially easier for someone who has just gone through that.

Louis

Edit: PS

Some more examples (cycling related) of how silly I am when it comes to animals and my feelings about them: While riding when I come across road-kill I usually stop to toss it off to the side to save the poor critter the addinal indignity of being continuously run over and ground to dust by car tires. I figure it's the least I can do given that the poor thing has just been killed. Let them either rot in peace or let some other animal eat them and get some benefit for the tragedy.

I also stop to help turtles across the road (including snappers). Once years ago while driving I once stopped to help a turtle but it had been clipped by a car and part of the shell and muscle had been crushed. It was still alive and there was a small chance that it would make it, so I took it into the state park by my house and put it at the base of a tree in some woods. Two days later while one a ride I rode into the park to check. The turtle was still alive (barely) and in the exact same spot. I figure there was no way it was going to make it, so I found the biggest rock around and put it out of its misery as quickly as I could. I still have a turtle blood stain on the white mesh portion of my Sidi's to remind me of that guy.

[Sandy]

I find your initial post remarkably outlandish and insensitive towards someone who has suffered a significant loss and who communicated with warmth a feeling towards an individual who worked at the company which cremated his dog. This is said completely independent of my love for dogs, my relationship and love for my dog, and my role as a moderator here.

Relative to your comments in your first paragraph- The simple answer to the question is trust with whom you are dealing with.

The poem is outrageous in the context of Climb's post. The feeling you portray of the dog in the poem is so incongruent with the reality of how I am sure Climb and his dog interacted that it detracts significantly from Climb's grieving process from his loss. Many relationships between a dog (or other pet) and its "owner" are based on love, sharing, genuine communication, trust, wamth, and friendship. These relationships are genuine and exceedingly meaningful to the dog (pet) and person who shared it.

I find your post simply insensitive and do not understand how you could not realize that.


Sandy

[Sandy]

I am very sorry for your loss and realize the woman provided you a positive feeling during a difficult period. For that you were quite grateful.


Sandy

[henrypretz]

I'm very sorry about your dog .... rest in peace.
One of the women at our vet office is named Bonnie and she is fantastic with our dogs (and with their owners) :)
Take care.

[93legendti]

Sorry for your loss. There is nothing like a special animal and it's hard to get over his/her passing.

Our cats passed over 25 years ago, but my young children love to hear stories about them.

It gets easier.

[rugbysecondrow]

We had a good experience with a cremation service when our dog passed away at home. I still remember sitting with her (Juneau) outside waiting for them to show up, it seemed like it took forever for them to get there but once they arrived, I didn't want them to take her away...

Anyway, the lady was great and made me feel comfortable with it all. That is about all I can ask for. Glad you had a similarly good experience.

[rugbysecondrow]

not really appropriate

Sorry to hear that James.

Not to make this any worse, but I've often wondered about cremation - how can one be sure that they actually give you your dog / cat / parent's ashes instead of a shovel full of whatever they happen have on hand? I'd want to be there for the whole thing, from the "needle of oblivion" (see below) to ash.


The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--

that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

[Chad Engle]

Easy Sandy, I don't think he meant any harm. That's the beauty of poetry, we are all free to interpret it individually. It did strike me as a little odd after first reading it, but I think the explanation makes sense, to me anyway.

Climb, so sorry for your loss. It is amazing how we find bright spots in sad times like that.

Ray, I recently lost my dad, and my experience with the care givers in ICU was very similar to what you described. They were/are incredible people that made a difficult time a little easier.

Please, no one post the Rainbow Bridge poem as I always read it and it always makes me tear up.

[SEABREEZE]

Damm Climb, sorry to hear of your loss.
We too had to put down a youngster, not to long ago
I know the filling you have first hand

We berried him under a tree, near the pond, he loved to swim in, on our property

[sc53]

Sorry to hear that James.

Not to make this any worse, but I've often wondered about cremation - how can one be sure that they actually give you your dog / cat / parent's ashes instead of a shovel full of whatever they happen have on hand? I'd want to be there for the whole thing, from the "needle of oblivion" (see below) to ash.


The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--

that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

Did the Jerk write that poem, under a pseudonym? Agree it's a bummer of a poem!

[roguedog]

climb.. i feel ya. been there done that a few times. eh.. :((

still miss 'em. but they are always there to bring a smile to your face as you remember their silliness and their grin when you walked thru the door. that always makes me feel warm. for that i'm always grateful

be well.

[Smiley]

Sorry for your loss Climb.

I believe that Louis did not mean any bad vibes from his posting as I know him to be a lover of cats and all animals so lets give him a break.

[Keith A]

Climb -- I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your dear one. We lost our cat a while back ago and I still think about her and miss not having her as part of our family.

[RPS]

Sorry Climb -- I know the feeling you are experiencing. I’m glad Bonnie made your day a little brighter.

[2LeftCleats]

One other comment from Louis reminded me of our experience putting down our wonderful yellow lab 20 years ago. After putting her to sleep, the vet's assistant asked us how we like to dispose of the body and we chose cremation. I thought that was all there would be to it, but the next comments were interesting: $50 for a can of remains. $100 for our dog's remains.

I remember a grim Christmas Day about 10 years ago with my wife and three children huddled around our dying Jack Russell as the vet put him down. The smell of the Simple Green cleaner at the vet was potent enough that my wife can't be around when I clean my bike.

[Louis]

This is only going to get me into more trouble, but I'd like to suggest that when you read something don't just look at the first line then turn your brain off. It helps to think a bit about what is being said.

The poem has what can only be described as a happy ending, and if you are not able to appreciate that, sorry.

Edit: For the people who are getting all worked up about the fact that in the poem the dog does not adore the owner - grow up and get over it. Everyone knows pets love people as long as they are taken care of. James took care of his dog and loved it and knows that the dog did not hate him. Just reading this is not going to cause him to suddenly think that all along his dog wanted to rip his balls off.

[Tobias]

Climb, I'm sorry to hear this, but know your dog was loved and had a great life.

[gdw]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's never easy saying goodbye to an old friend.

[morty]

So sorry about your loss. That has got to be one of the most difficult decisions a pet-owner has to make in life, and having a caring and compassionate (and honest) person there to help ease the burden is a blessing. It certainly does restore one's faith in humanity.

My sister is an administrator at a VA hospital, and she makes a point of telling the patients how much she appreciates what their service has done for all of us. It always makes them feel better, but she benefits the most.

As for Louis, he is a good guy who loves animals (he's even pm'd me pics of his cats) and was only trying to offer a little levity to a sad fact of life. A poem about a dog who is happier free from the human indignities bestowed upon him may bring a smile to some, but most of us dog owners know their love for us is unconditional. That's why it hurts so much to say goodbye. My cats, however, are a different story: they only tolerate me as long as I am useful to them :rolleyes:

[RABikes2]

I'm so sorry for your loss, James. Bonnie sounds like a gem. Glad she was there for you at this sad time.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Ritaann

[1happygirl]

Sorry about your loss. It is one of the hardest things to go through. It hurts so much. I'm praying for you and your loved ones during this painful time. Find comfort in the good memories and care you gave.

[soulspinner]

Thanks for posting good stuff thru the pain. Theres good everywhere, the bad gets the headlines, the good keeps us gettin up every day.