Classic Roadie moment

[Wayne77]

Last Saturday I was running late to meet a few pals for another ride out to Antelope Island, Utah (in the middle of the Great Salt Lake). I needed a few extra tubes, so I decide to stop by a little shop that I don't usually frequent, located in a run-down storefront. I run in there, scarcely looking around on my way through the door, calling out as I quickly head over to what should be the tube and tire shelf: "I just need a few..." Then I stop, frozen in my tracks. I see only bikes of a different sort - ones with motors, lots of leather and chrome, and a bunch of husky men of questionable backgrounds staring back at me. "tubes?" I mutter meekly. So there I am, in all my spandex-roadie glory, suddenly feeling not quite so..."manly". I back out slowly. The door slowly creaks shut. Heading back to the car, all I can hear is muffled laughter as I look up to see the familiar bike store sign - now covered with a plastic banner indicating the grand opening of some new Motorcycle store...

[dave thompson]

Ah yes, nothing like tight, shiny spandex and cute little ankle sox to make a man feel very sure of himself. :D

[H.Frank Beshear]

especially with freshly shaven smooth legs :D :banana: you in a heapa trouble boy :beer: Frank

[george]

They love bikes powered with a huge man made engine. We love bikes powered by our huge heart, lungs, and leggs :)

[Too Tall]

Wayne, you need to work that up for New Yorker Mag. It would make a great cartoon.

[Ozz]

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It's Zed's.
Fabienne: Who's Zed?
Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead

Just be glad you didn't meet "the Gimp"!

[OldDog]

What made you think the three husky men had questionable backgrounds?

[Jeff N.]

" He sher gotta purdy myouth, don't he?"

" Yeh, don't he though?" Jeff N.

[Kevan]

moons ago when I was just a tyke, living in Utah, I went sailing on the Great Salt Lake with my dad, his buddy, and his son who was in turn my buddy. The plan was to sail out to Antelope Island and spend the night out on the island. Unbeknownst to us, there were many events we didn't anticipate in starting out on this adventure.

First was the term “sailing”. There was no sailing. There was no wind. Ever. The lake surface had the consistency of motor oil. So the entire trip involved using a loud, twin cylinder,10hp, ornery, Seagull outboard to power our Explorer (23ft?) fiberglass day sailor across the lake.

The next overestimation changed our course of events, the depth of the lake. The boat had a centerboard instead of a keel and that worked very much in our favor. However, it was our rudder which was then the deepest draft and it was bumping the bottom of the lake. We were probably within 2 miles of the island when we began to seriously run out of water to float on. Now the lake has always been shallow, and we knew that, but we didn’t expect the shallows to extend from the island for nearly 2 miles! Needless to say, we didn’t reach land. We talked about wading, but with sleeping bags, food, and stuff… the idea was quickly scuttled.

So we returned to the lake’s greater depths…12 feet is my guess, and laid anchor. My friend and I spent time catching brine shrimp until it was time to settle in for the night. This is when things REALLY got weird.

Sometime during the night we all woke up with the top of the mast glowing, and none of us knew what it was. But we figured we were all okay and we began to laugh and joke about my dad being the captain, his responsibilities in going up the mast and checking it out. Yup, this was pretty cool and all was fine and dandy until the damn thing started to descend down the aluminum mast towards us. That was it… none of us could sleep and the creature’s creep was the speed of a watch’s minute hand. What I’m guessing was hours later the glow had descended about ¾ the length of the mast and slowly dissipated into nothingness. We all crashed into a relieved, sound sleep.

The next day, as we returned home, we laughed and shook our heads wondering what we had witnessed. We found out later it was St. Elmo’s fire.

[davids]

In a place they say is dead
in the lake that's like an ocean
i count about a billion head
all the time
there's a motion
palace of the brine
i saw the cloning
of the famous family
i heard the droning
in the shrine
of the sea-monkey
palace of the brine
beneath reflections in the fountain
the starry sky and utah mountains
they are swimming happily
can't you see
a life that's so sublime
palace of the brine.

- Pixies, "Palace of the Brine"

[Wayne77]

That's a great story! Very funny.

FWIW, here's a link to a ride report and pics I posted on rbr a few months ago.

http://forums.roadbikereview.com/showthread.php?t=22475&highlight=antelope+Island


moons ago when I was just a tyke, living in Utah, I went sailing on the Great Salt Lake with my dad, his buddy, and his son who was in turn my buddy. The plan was to sail out to Antelope Island and spend the night out on the island. Unbeknownst to us, there were many events we didn't anticipate in starting out on this adventure.

First was the term “sailing”. There was no sailing. There was no wind. Ever. The lake surface had the consistency of motor oil. So the entire trip involved using a loud, twin cylinder,10hp, ornery, Seagull outboard to power our Explorer (23ft?) fiberglass day sailor across the lake.

The next overestimation changed our course of events, the depth of the lake. The boat had a centerboard instead of a keel and that worked very much in our favor. However, it was our rudder which was then the deepest draft and it was bumping the bottom of the lake. We were probably within 2 miles of the island when we began to seriously run out of water to float on. Now the lake has always been shallow, and we knew that, but we didn’t expect the shallows to extend from the island for nearly 2 miles! Needless to say, we didn’t reach land. We talked about wading, but with sleeping bags, food, and stuff… the idea was quickly scuttled.

So we returned to the lake’s greater depths…12 feet is my guess, and laid anchor. My friend and I spent time catching brine shrimp until it was time to settle in for the night. This is when things REALLY got weird.

Sometime during the night we all woke up with the top of the mast glowing, and none of us knew what it was. But we figured we were all okay and we began to laugh and joke about my dad being the captain, his responsibilities in going up the mast and checking it out. Yup, this was pretty cool and all was fine and dandy until the damn thing started to descend down the aluminum mast towards us. That was it… none of us could sleep and the creature’s creep was the speed of a watch’s minute hand. What I’m guessing was hours later the glow had descended about ¾ the length of the mast and slowly dissipated into nothingness. We all crashed into a relieved, sound sleep.

The next day, as we returned home, we laughed and shook our heads wondering what we had witnessed. We found out later it was St. Elmo’s fire.

[JStonebarger]

Last Spring, after a couple months of exploring new stomping ground in south eastern Massachusetts, I talked my girlfriend into a nice leisurely ride one sunny Saturday afternoon.

Twenty miles into quiet country -- about as "rural" as eastern Massachusetts gets -- she pulls off into the parking lot of "The Chicken Coop," a well worn tavern I had described to her earlier.

I know better than to ask questions. I dutifully parked my unlocked bike alongside hers and walked past a row of at least two dozen Harleys on my way into the bar.

We drew some stares, certainly, in our multi-colored bike gear. We sat at the bar, asked for beer, and started a small pile of sweaty gloves and helmets beside us. A minute or two later, as my partner grinned at my obvious embarassment, a heavyset man dressed head to toe in riding leather sauntered slowly toward us from across the room, paused for effect, and asked in a booming voice, "Engines running a little hot, are they?"

Probably the best Bud Light I've ever had. But if all these people drive motorcycles, why do they call it a biker bar?

[Ozz]

But if all these people drive motorcycles, why do they call it a biker bar?

They "bike", we "cycle".

They engines on their "bikes" do the "cycling". :beer:

[Kevan]

Thanks for the RBR link. Great photos, I wish we had reached the island.

Some questions:

Antelope Island, did it always have a causeway connection to the "main land"? I don't recall it did.

I do recall reading the lake has receded making a causeway possible, I guess. I guess too the shallows I wrote about are the wet flats you see in your pictures. Would you agree?

We made our trip back in the mid 60's, since then I've read about the bison being on the island. I don't recall, have they always been there? Are there in fact any Antelope there too? My understanding is in such limited confines the different species don't usually fare well together. I could be wrong there.

[Wayne77]

Antelope Island, did it always have a causeway connection to the "main land"? I don't recall it did.

Dohhhh!! :crap: :D
Actually, I'm not sure how long it has been there. If you started your expedition from the SLC area, you would probably miss it since it connects to the northern tip of the island, orginating from a town called Layton. There's a good chance it wasn't there in the mid 60's though.

I do recall reading the lake has receded making a causeway possible, I guess. I guess too the shallows I wrote about are the wet flats you see in your pictures. Would you agree?

In '83 there was significant flooding from snow runoff which caused a main road in SLC to be underwater for awhile. This subsequently contributed to a raising of the lake level, covering up the causeway for 10 years. I would agree about the shallowness, you can wade out a few miles before it gets deeper than a few feet. In fact, I don't think the lake gets any deeper than 25-30 feet - there are many shallow areas and sand bars.

We made our trip back in the mid 60's, since then I've read about the bison being on the island. I don't recall, have they always been there? Are there in fact any Antelope there too? My understanding is in such limited confines the different species don't usually fare well together. I could be wrong there.

I'm pretty sure Antelope were native to the island at some time then reintroduced in the 90's. I rode past a herd the other day. Bison were originally introduced in 1893 and there are around 600 today. Usually both herds are allowed to free-roam, but in the winter they are corralled for various feeding and health maintenance reasons.
http://www.utah.com/stateparks/antelope_island.htm

I highly recommend the area for biking, both road and mtn. Its a beautiful place. Give the Bison a wide berth though, they can get aggressive around their calves...

[Skrawny]

Usually I make my trips to Salt Lake for Skiing/snowboarding in the winter. Now I'll think about going there to ride.
-s

[antman]

Another classic moment . I was out riding alone and had to take a pit stop so I stopped at a Burger King. I am never comfortable leaving my bike unattended , so I hurry in and out of the rest room. As I am about to exit in walks a very attractive women who smiles at me saying" that has to be the most embarrassing thing ever", well in shear terror I looked down to make sure nothing was out in the open and to my surprise I realized some bathroom tissue was being dragged by my cleat. I smiled all the way home.

[Kevan]

my fastfood story...

for fear of leaving my bike unattended, going inside to place my order... I rode instead up to the drive thru window amidst the car line.

I got more giggles than extra catsup... :confused:

[BURCH]

Great stories everyone. My imagination is running wild.

I don't really have any story myself, but I love when I go out on errands with the bike and everyone stares at me as I click click click my way through the grocery store in spandex.

[Kevan]

I'm not sure what you're doing wrong, but spandex isn't supposed to click click click. :confused:

Maybe we're better off not knowing... :D

[Too Tall]

This morning. I'm "tap tap tapping" my way through the marble lobby of our building in bicycle commuter garb. You know? Reflective triangle around my waist etc. etc. One of my cowboy workmates says in a Texas twang "Wuhl that's a hellovathing...a target on your a$$ and wearing tap shoes...tch tch tch". Life as we know it.

[BURCH]

I'm not sure what you're doing wrong, but spandex isn't supposed to click click click. :confused:

Maybe we're better off not knowing... :D


Had my shorts coated in Ti

[Wayne77]

Usually I make my trips to Salt Lake for Skiing/snowboarding in the winter. Now I'll think about going there to ride.
-s

Between Oct and December, roadbiking in Southern Utah is amazing. you can catch a small hop to St. George for wonderful golfing, and biking through red-rock country, massive sandstone vistas and spires, Arches National Park, Zion's, Bryce Canyon, etc.

I'm thinking of doing the LAGBRAU this year: 7 days, 400 miles through 6 national parks in Southern Utah in October. -Just need to convince my SO. :argue:

http://www.lagbrau.com/index.html

[neverraced]

nm

[christian]

"Bikers ride Harleys" - Rebecca Twigg

[Bruce K]

Well, I guess I'll toss my Classic Roadie moment into the mix, courtesy of our freind Bill Bove.

One Saturday I decided to wear my "official" Bikes & Bargains full kit on our regular group ride.

I usually ride the 10 miles from my house to a convenient meeting place to connect with the group and then we are off.

The B&B kit is full "mangenta" jersey, butt and thigh stripe, cap, and gloves. I arrived at the meeting point a few minutes early and decided to go into a Dunkin' Donuts to pick up some extra water.

I get in line behind 3 guys in working gear, obvioulsy on their way to start the day. As I click, click, click my way into line they all look over their shoulder and as I join the cue, they all take a collective step to one side.

I got my water and made a hasty retreat. :rolleyes:

BK

[Hard Fit]

I know this is somewhat off topic, but Antman's story reminded me of a situation not long ago. I was riding a bus when a woman gets on with toilet paper coming out of her pants and down her rear end. I don't know how long she had been walking around this way, but I had to tell her to save her further embarassment.

[Wayne77]

neveraced-

???
uh, ok.

[William]

Ok, this is more of an embarrassing moment for me. A group of us are out on a training ride doing the Kings Valley loop near Corvallis, OR. We're on a decent, and as usual I'm leading ripping down the hill (natural body weight builds me more momentum). I'm basically sitting on my TT in full tuck catching bugs in my teeth because I'm grinning ear to ear. As I hit the transition to the next hill I go to move back up onto my saddle and the nose of my Flite grabs the lycra and rips a big O'l hole in the back of my bib shorts. As I start to register what has happened, I hear a collective burst of laughter coming from behind me. MY team mates were practically going off the road laughing their arses off. Believe me, there is no way to gracefully cover your arse when you're also trying to pull off the road and come to a stop. Luckily I was wearing a bandana under my helmet. I spread it out over my arse, under my shorts to block up the hole and pulled up the rear the rest of the ride home. Believe me, I was the BUTT :rolleyes: of many jokes after that one.

This was a good lesson in why you should replace your shorts before they get to worn.

Blushing William :o

[Too Tall]

Friends of friends who have see thru shorts tell their wives who tell their friends wives who tell their husbands who never tell their friends thanks cuase that's be wierd huh? :rolleyes:

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . I hope you just forgave them and “turned the other cheek.“

Yeah, I’ve used that one before, but it’s so useful . . . ;)

BBDave

[William]

That was a "cheeky" comment BBD. ;)

William

[Vancouverdave]

If you rode a certain Seattle-built machine, you could say, "Real men ride Davidsons, not Harleys!"