Bicycling addict Anonynomous

[drewski]

Ok here is my idea. If you are like me and have a very serious bike
purchase compulsion, I am interested in discussing:

1). lenghts you have gone through to skirt around anyone in your family from finding out about a recent bicycle rig or bicycling related purchase. Or if
you are able, share the level of flak you have received for purchasing a
a rig or related purchase.

2).I for one have a wife who does not share enthusiasm for when I go out
and purchase a 20 year old derailleur, chain ring, jersey, etc. I have
come to grips that my behavior has triggered a great deal of consternation
in the heart of my lovey pie.

For now I am keeping things on the down low. No frames, no expensive
things since we are renovating our home. I will admit that my love of the
sport of cycling has gotten carried away as of late. I am in the dog house at this time but slowly seeing the light.

LASTLY:

I feel a bit embarassed admiting this. I am putting this out in the hope
(need wisdom from others) that this will make me be more responsible and accountable in some way.




Andrew

[John M]

Lots of us are in this situation, but the solution is easy. Don't spend on bikes money that you cannot afford and for each dollar that gets spent on bikes, spend an equal or greater amount on the spouse.

[McQueen]

I'm not the guy you want responding, but I have a Serotta TG I bought back in the early 90's - can't quite remember - raced up to 1999 and then professional life took me away from racing, but still do a lot of rides and occassional triathlon, etc. (I also have MTB + cyclocross bikes - but we're talking road bike here)

Recently, my wife (a non rider) has noticed that my Serotta looks like a relic of time gone past compared to the other bikes we see when I show up at an event/ride, and has been encouraging me to upgrade my bike for a couple of years.

As a result of this encouragement (and the knowledge that I likely won't make this same type of purchase again for some time), I went 'all in', and have an Meivici AE on order.

She's excited for me, and I think it's been my resistance to buying a new bike for a couple of years at her encouragement that has really helped in acceptance (even encouragement) of a bike like this..

I still make accessory/parts/bike clothes purchases along the way that aren't insignificant.. But I stay pretty low key about things and don't make a big deal over them. Maybe it's because I'm not in a constant state of acquisition mode, that I can get support behind a big purchase.

I do know that I am very lucky.. she knows the price - I prepped her for it way before my fitting, etc. - and has never mentioned anything but encouragement about getting it.

(ps..Anyone from Saratoga Springs wants to give me an update, I'd love to hear about it?)

[rugbysecondrow]

Lots of us are in this situation, but the solution is easy. Don't spend on bikes money that you cannot afford and for each dollar that gets spent on bikes, spend an equal or greater amount on the spouse.

My wife rides some, but she still got the bathroom remodeled and a new watch...and a svelt looking husband ;)

[veloduffer]

The fix - get a custom!! Go for your dream bike but sell your stock bikes to get it - neutral on the house budget. A great custom bike can end your bike lust (see thread on Richard Sachs). It's a fun process and you will truly appreciate the bike.

For me, I could really live with two bikes - a road racer and a cyclocross for do everything else.

[Kevan]

I have 2.5 good quality bikes. One could be a better frame, hence the .5 rating. I'd love to have other bikes, but frankly, I have a hard time using what I already have.

Now that my kids are in the process of flying the coop, we're looking around and noticing we have a lot of stuff. With that same perspective, bikes not used become stuff. I'll eventually will imprve the 3rd bike, but I don't see myselve ever owning a fourth.

Photgraphy has me by the throat and now it's a bigger-better camera I need.

Does it ever end?

[oldguy00]

Separate bank accounts.
That's what we do, and we split all the bills 50/50.
If either of us have money left over after paying our share of the bills, we are free to spend it on whatever we want.

[Steve in SLO]

Separate bank accounts.
That's what we do, and we split all the bills 50/50.
If either of us have money left over after paying our share of the bills, we are free to spend it on whatever we want.

We do this, too. It has worked exceedingly well for over 20 years of marriage. That being said, when a big box arrives, my wife has been known to say "Oh, another bike...JUST what we need" It's more of a space issue, really.

I have never had a package sent to work or tried subterfuge, althougth our UPS guy has told me that plenty do have packages sent to work.

[LesMiner]

My wife and I also keep separate bank accounts plus split the bills. We tried sharing one account and it was always a struggle to maintain. Although the accounts are separate the property is not, like same house, same bed, same meals, etc. So the anxiety of how the money is spent continues to some extent. We did buy a tandem together, each paid half.

When I bought a new Scott CR1 it was well beyond the threshold of "OMG what did you spend!". I paid the LBS in two payments, one by credit card and the other by personal check. The condition of sale to the LBS was only tell my wife the price that was on the credit card. She knew something was up because she knew I was spending time at the LBS and some product literature laying around. I sent her an email at work with a picture of the bike saying I am picking this up on the weekend. Other customers at the LBS thought this was a rather clever approach. So worst case she would send me to sleep in the garage. You know a token pillow thrown at me and a slam of the door. I figured it was April and the garage does not get that cold over night. It was totally worth having a 15 pound full carbon bike (a XXL I have long legs)! Besides I had bought her a new road bike a few years ago. I did survive.

Fast forward a year. Its January and the big swap meet is coming. A friend of mine comes to pick me up. My wife says "Where are you going?" I say "To the swap meet." I add "I am just going to look around." She responds "Really! Give me your wallet!" I say "What do you mean?" She answers "I want your credit cards, you are just looking right? So you won't need them!" To maintain the family harmony and domestic tranquillity I agree plus maybe a little guilt. She then says "Wait a minute where's your check book?" I say "Check book?" She is now moving into an authoritarian tone and says "I know all about THAT CHECK". I am so busted. And again I submit.

We get to the swap meet and it was great. So many bargains from a number LBS's from all around the area. A couple of old time frame builders. Also many private party types. Lots of great stuff and a lot of people. This shop from Wisconsin had a real bargain on frames. Three Gaint TCR frames and one Trek Pilot 5.0 WSD frame, fork and stem in my wife's favorite color (not pink). Also the right size, 54 cm. These were year old models they had parted out. Maybe they got more money that way on bikes that don't sell. The price was $240. I thought what a bargain but no way to purchase. My good friend that was with me helped me out. He too recognized the bargain but the frame was too big for his wife. He paid for the frame and I paid him back the following day. I took her bike for a Spring tune up but really to my friend's heated garage to get the components off and build up the new frame. I also did some swaping with other friends and one friend at a LBS. The bike was completed with a Campy Record Compact Carbon Crank and the rest was Chourus. I added really light weight Real Design wheels, 1365 grams for the pair. Matched the fit which worked out better. I did have to get a long reach rear brake. After all the bargaining and swapping the net was about $100 for a significant upgrade, 18.5 lbs to 16.1 lbs. Got it home and put it on the trainer. Put the pedals on and surpise her. I think I am ahead now. She is really happy with the bike. The front wheel to foot interference when turning was reduced dramatically. For her the woman specific geometery works. Now the tandem collects dust, she is just so into riding her own bike.

My wife I and celerated our 40th wedding anniversary last Sunday. This ancedote has repeated in many variations over the years. Yet we are still together. We married young and had children young. Our children are on their own now. No child expenses, no more college bills, just us. Spending money is probably the greatest source of marital strife. I think recreation with or without exercise is a necessity in today's world to maintain one's overall health and mental well being. People need a means to direct their concentration away form the rigors of work and other commitments. It is needed at least for a short time because they will be better at what they have to do everyday when they return. Of course the purchase of any cycling equipment has to be balanced. Compromise with one's spouse is a good way to keep that family harmony. By the way, don't do the email thing like I did. It can lead to physical harm.

[KeithS]

...Other customers at the LBS thought this was a rather clever approach.
I was one of them. I was just going to tell the story of my friend Les who told his wife about his new bike via email.

My dad is into tractors. When he farmed full time in the 50's and into the 60's he had one tractor, we moved off the farm in 1964 and now that he is retired and lives back on the farm and doesn't actively farm, he has 5 tractors. A few years ago for Christmas I gave Dad a book by a guy named Roger Welch who was with CBS news for his career, he retired to his home town, a small town in Nebraska. The book tells the story of his tractor collecting Jones. Welch would buy another tractor and his wife would wander into his machine shed and ask "where did you get that?" his standard response was "this old thing, I've had that forever." It was effective for him because he kept his inventory at about the same level. I have always fully disclosed to my wife all of my cycling purchases. When she asks.

So Kevan, some hobbies just require more investment than others, and take up more room..

[rugbysecondrow]

The line I used on my wife was:

Why put the money into savings when I can buy these used, ride them and enjoy them, then sell them for essentially what I paid for them when we need the money. I would rather be able to enjoy the money rather then having it just sit in savings.

I don't know if she buys it or, in her mind, she is calling me an F'n idiot...either way I am good to go.

[weisan]

I am really liking this thread, the human interests stories are tremendous. People are being exceedingly frank and honest, with nice touches of humor here and there. In short, people are being real. I started my love affair with bicycles and cycling when I was twelve. It's been close to thirty years now and still going strong. We were married when I was twenty-seven. Well, guess, who has the upper hand? I never want to think of my cycling addictions as competing with my marriage. But the truth is, sometimes it does, especially from the women's perspective. We, as men, think of them as two very different things. But one cannot deny the difficulties involved with maintaining the hobby. I would simply say, it's part of life. We all learn to cope with it. She has to give in some, extend a bit more understanding. I have to give in some, for the higher purpose of maintaining marital peace. The tension will eventually alleviate some with time and with practice from both sides. I am not an expert in this, in many ways I am still struggling with it in real time almost on a daily basis. but my hope is this will get better. It's a way of growing up and maturing in our marriage. Les-pal is right. At the crucial time, know your priority. Marriage is a lifetime, very very few things matter more.

[Blue Jays]

weisan, that is outstanding! :)

[zott28]

I've always gone by the conservation of matter theory since I've been married. Before that I went a little nuts. So currently in my house bike stuff is never created or destroyed at the level of when I got married. If I sell something I buy something, or keep the money in my safe place, knowing that when my next purchase comes I have the funds. One rule that has helped my upgrade in the past is, bonus checks and tax refunds go to the bike fund.
My wife knows about my stash, and tests me now and then with statements like, "do we have any cash, I don't want to go to the ATM", but I always say no, she doesn;t mind. She does tend to notice when I buy new parts more than when I sell old stuff.

I am somewhat new to this marriage thing, so I'm more curious as to how you long-timers have managed to stay happy with separate bank accounts. Once we combined ours things got easier.