christmas chez jerk

[jerk]

so guys...the jerk needs to get mrs. jerk a present for christmas....she needs a new bike and thinks anything even remotely modern is either ugly, looks like bug, is too "fat" has "dumb fat tubes". this is the woman who's favorite bicycle is a trek 420 the jerk built out of garbage. (upside down three speed bars, left side crank arm green 105 right side ultegra 600, fder derailleur cable tied off at the downtube shifter so it only has a 42 tooth chainring.....you guys get the idea.) she likes it because it has "skinny tubes". so the question is...she loves the way the pegoretti luigino looks...the jerk loves pegorettis....(she likes the color and the lugs and the fact that dario makes a bike called the big leg emma which as she says, "at least he puts the ugly fat parts at the back part of the bike, it looks better.") so the jerk's question is, should the jerk bite the bullet and spend a stupid amount of money on a luigino that the distributor has....or is this sort of like buying your wife a radial arm saw? she will use it, she will approve of its aesethitic, so the jerk won't end up selling it to climb...but should the jerk or shouldn't he?
jerk

[coylifut]

so guys...the jerk needs to get mrs. jerk a present for christmas....she needs a new bike and thinks anything even remotely modern is either ugly, looks like bug, is too "fat" has "dumb fat tubes". this is the woman who's favorite bicycle is a trek 420 the jerk built out of garbage. (upside down three speed bars, left side crank arm green 105 right side ultegra 600, fder derailleur cable tied off at the downtube shifter so it only has a 42 tooth chainring.....you guys get the idea.) she likes it because it has "skinny tubes". so the question is...she loves the way the pegoretti luigino looks...the jerk loves pegorettis....(she likes the color and the lugs and the fact that dario makes a bike called the big leg emma which as she says, "at least he puts the ugly fat parts at the back part of the bike, it looks better.") so the jerk's question is, should the jerk bite the bullet and spend a stupid amount of money on a luigino that the distributor has....or is this sort of like buying your wife a radial arm saw? she will use it, she will approve of its aesethitic, so the jerk won't end up selling it to climb...but should the jerk or shouldn't he?
jerk

Find out what she really wants (that'll take a shrink, an astrologer and her best friend) and get that. Then, once you can tell she's really happy, unviel the Lugino only under the pretense that you can now spend more time together.

[Bill Bove]

jerk, buy her the Peg only if she can appreciate it's soul, it's inner beauty, it's ride, not just it's outer aesthetics. Women can be so shallow. Just give her twenty bucks and tell her to buy herself something nice, you, Roy and BostonDrunk are going out for beers.

[saab2000]

Mr. Jerk,

Getting your wife a Pegoretti will not increase your marital bliss. You will like it a ton, but she will not appreciate it too much, except that Mr. Jerk loves it.

Get her something that will make her swoon, not something that will make you swoon.

[Blastinbob]

Doc's wifes tiny christmas present that i'm assembling in my garage.

[oracle]

the real question is, does it fit you as well?

merry chistmas,
i'll get back to you about the doo-rags.....
oracle

[93legendti]

If she loves it, money spent on your wife is always money well spent.

Depends on the woman. My wife likes romantic stuff, but also likes the practical stuff for her hobbies. If I buy her practical stuff, I always include roses and a romantic card. A wife need to always be reminded her husband loves her...

[gasman]

Danger, Danger Will Robins!!
Get her the bike only if that is what she really wants. Now, like coy said, how to divine what she really wants. It will be a lot cheaper money-wise and marital bliss-wise if she loves the gift.

[oracle]

"but also likes the practical stuff for her hobbies"

like vacuuming? :-)

[93legendti]

What an odd post.

To name a few: rock gardens, sewing, Origami, painting, quilting, pillow making... No, I hired a cleaning woman for my wife so she does NOT have to vacuum.

[Ken Robb]

Leslie was thrilled when I bought her the original Rivendell Romulus prototype. She had ridden it at Riv HQ a year before and liked it. Medium tubes, lugs, headbadge, shellac cloth bar tape. She hasn't ridden her CSi w/ 10 spd Chorus since this arrived.

[IXXI]

not sure what ms. jerk measures in at, but this bike is killer and has the skinniest little tubes you can imagine (ca. 1986) but with classy tdf lugs... not shillin, just sayin...

http://forums.thepaceline.net/showthread.php?t=5690

[slowgoing]

Mrs. Jerk is a 54 square. I have her old Hors (resold by climb) hanging on my wall next to a blow up of her metal pants picture.

Sure, buy her the Luigino.

[Climb01742]

senor, for what its worth...having spent time in the saddle of quite a few pegs this year, the luigino was my least favorite. yes, its a striking looking frame. but in my humble and remarkably ill-informed opinion, it rides least like what dario is singularly a genius at: frames that go fast with very little torque applied. so here's my question: if mrs jerk wants the theory of a frame, yes, then the luigino. but if its to ride and enjoy, and skinny tubes are a must, two suggestions...see if you can find her a corsa 0.1 (as pretty a skinny tubed frame as i've seen this year) or a CSi (my fillet brazed one has the skinniest seatstays imagineable.) so the eternal question: style or substance? the luigino is unquestionably stylist. but based on what i've ridden, there are more joyously substantial frames out there. good luck, man. buying women gifts is damned hard. :rolleyes:

[William]

Sir Jerk,

Get Mrs. Jerk the luigino, more titanium pants, and then take more pictures and post them here for us! :D

Ok. Really, didn't you ever read "Men are from Bars and Women like....", Ok I won't go there. But find out what "SHE" want's and you will have a much, much, nicer post Christmas party (if you catch my meaning) then if you get her what "YOU" wants. ;)

Just my (beentherebeforemanyatimeonspeacialoccasionswhereI boughtwhatIwantedwhenIshouldhavegotherewhatshewant edin
thefirstplaceandthingswouldhavegonemuchsmoother) $.02 cents.

William :)

[dbrk]

I'm not usually a tubing guy, meaning, I think that design, fit, and wheels are far, far more important than the tubes as such (when the tubes are steel particularly, just to cma opinion-wise). That said, my Legnano-green Luigino is made of that wondrous Excell tubing that Dario used for some hotshots in the '90s: rides like a dream.

But for a real treat, call Mike Barry and ask him to build her the most beautiful Mariposa racer in the world with that left chainstay pump and simple decal scheme and, say, outlines on the lugs, for waaaay less than even you can get the Peg from Gita, all out of NOS 531 with those great swoopying fork blades. Were bikes ever nicer than this? No way. Mmm, gooood.

As for Christmas, all the correct advice about discerning a wife's wants I deem true (coylifut and 93legendti particularly, and ken robb is too lucky to count, bless his heart), but my own take on the matter is tell her that I prefer to give Christmas to the children and save her stuff for Valentine's Day. Kids get stuff for Christmas, adults get to watch kids believe for a moment that there is a Santa Claus or that you are Santa (and that's fine too).

dbrk

[William]

I prefer to give Christmas to the children and save her stuff for Valentine's Day. Kids get stuff for Christmas, adults get to watch kids believe for a moment that there is a Santa Claus or that you are Santa (and that's fine too).

Very, very well said. You kind of touched my heart there dbrk. :)

Merry Christmas.

William

[Kevin]

Diamonds.

Kevin

[Too Tall]

You're a little bit country...she's a little bit rock n' roll. Mrs.Jerk might like to blaze her own trail. All your drooling over Euro bits ain't winning the war d##d. Psych 101, do the transference thing. Move crosshairs over to the left. Anarchy, lugs, NICE LUGS sweet workmanship...nobody on the block has one. Get her that and some bikerchick wear to go with...see both below.

http://www.loficustoms.com/

http://www.circleacycles.com/gallery_detail.asp?id=12

[weisan]

Senor Jerk's wife doesn't need a new bike. What she need is a new double-seater Jerk-twin-turbo speedster that her MAN can bring her out on the beach or elope with her to some faraway fairyland. Unless of course, Senor Jerk already had one in his garage. Just my humble opinion.

http://www.blue-travel.net/eaglerider/images/120_01_0.jpg

[Len J]

Du'h I think you know the answer to your own question.

Len

[PaulE]

Jerk,

You need to figure out her Maslow Hierarchy of Needs. Perfume, gold, diamonds, furs, something like that. Only when all of those basic needs have been met can you focus on the luxury of a Peg. Get her what she really wants and put some newer parts on the Trek that she likes. Merry Christmas!

[dirtdigger88]

jerk- I bought mr. dirt a MTB like 4 years ago- the thing has been collecting dust ever since. She just is not "in to" cycling. You better make sure mrs jerk WANTS a bike. It could be a long cold winter if you buy her a bike and she wanted something different. While I would love for mrs dirt to ride with me once and a while- I also have a distant fear that she may someday want to go with me everytime- Cycling is my escape from the world- I really dont want too many passengers tagging along


Jason

[Jollymon]

a trek 420 the jerk built out of garbage. (upside down three speed bars, left side crank arm green 105 right side ultegra 600, fder derailleur cable tied off at the downtube shifter so it only has a 42 tooth chainring.....you guys get the idea.) she likes it because it
jerk

I think we would all love to see a picture of that menagerie.

[Smiley]

Jerk you fool buy her a day at the SPA followed by a Romantic dinner somewhere and YOU .. Jerk could be the recipient of the payoff . Do you even have a clue as to what this could be . Fact is you could buy her many day spa sessions and get a dividend for this deal and forget about a bike that sounds that an entre in an Italian restaurant .

[Smiley]

.

[Lost Weekend]

You know the drill- If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy.

get her titanium earrings for a stocking stuffer :)

[M_A_Martin]

Weisan,
You're right. Mr. Jerk SHOULD buy Mrs. Jerk that bike...although after seeing the pic of Mrs. Jerk I'm sure she could handle that machine herself without needing her "man" to pilot it for her. Although Mr. Jerk might want to be careful, with a vibrator that big, Mrs. Jerk wouldn't need Mr. Jerk around anymore. :p

Jerk,
If Mrs. Jerk truely loves the bike in question, buy her the bike. However I think Douglas makes a fine point. Having a traditional custom steel bike built for her would really show your love. I suggest a Kirk terraplane.
:banana:

[Ken Robb]

If that dude on the motorcycle really had to back that 700 pound hog up that sandy hill by himself he would never park with the front wheel downhill agian. Don't ask me how I learned this.

[M_A_Martin]

You notice that the female model isn't all close and cuddly with the guy 'cause she's braced and holding onto the front brake...that's the only way they got that pic without the hog rolling down into the ocean.

"OK, Now you sit here and you stand there and hold the brake...oh, try to hang on him admiringly at the same time but be careful, you don't want to be too close 'cause if the bike goes over the cliff he's gonna try to grab you to save himself..."
She's ready to run.

[Ken Robb]

there appears to be a chock in front of the rear tire as well.

[OldDog]

"OK, Now you sit here and you stand there and hold the brake...oh, try to hang on him admiringly at the same time but be careful, you don't want to be too close 'cause if the bike goes over the cliff he's gonna try to grab you to save himself..."
She's ready to run.[/QUOTE]


I think most every guy here will agree, at the risk of loosing the girl, save the bike! :D

[PaulE]

That's not a wheel chock. It's the front of the woman's left foot!

[Ken Robb]

chocking with her foot?? The girl of my dreams!

[vaxn8r]

LOL you guys crack me up...BTW, that's no Speedster....looks like a FatBoy to me.

Remember, real men don't ride Speedsters. Repeat that Mantra.

[Tom Byrnes]

If Mrs. Jerk wants a particular bike, then by all means get her what she wants, if practical.

I bought the beautiful small yellow Kirk frame, fork and stem that Dave Kirk sold last week on eBay for Debbie, my Significant Other. She met Dave last August at dbrk's house and certainly admired his bikes. I will build it up for her.

However, since she did not ask Santa for a bike, as a backup, I also have bought her a piece of jewelry. A piece of jewelry can never hurt and even if she loves the bike, the jewelry will lessen the future upset when she finds out that I just ordered a Kirk Terraplane and am getting in the long waiting line for a Sachs.

So, Senor Jerk, it can't hurt to have a meaningful backup gift for Mrs. Jerk in case she doesn't truly want the bike you select for her.

Buena suerte.

Tom

[gasman]

You notice that the female model isn't all close and cuddly with the guy 'cause she's braced and holding onto the front brake...that's the only way they got that pic without the hog rolling down into the ocean.

"OK, Now you sit here and you stand there and hold the brake...oh, try to hang on him admiringly at the same time but be careful, you don't want to be too close 'cause if the bike goes over the cliff he's gonna try to grab you to save himself..."
She's ready to run.


LOL also-great observations by all of you.