tall tales in cycling [Archive] - The Paceline Forum

sloji

10-22-2008, 08:09 PM

When you hear the "tall tale" of average speed or accomplishment do you call them on it or do you let it slide?

Today I got the "I did that route in 25 minutes" and I said that's a 25mph average, that's damn good. I think that means you'd be doing about 28 on flats and throw in the four stop lights and two stop signs, the two small hills which slow you down and I think that's awfully impressive!

"no, it's only ten miles and almost flat" not so impressive..."well, to me it's very impressive..."

or horse****...i'm not sure which.

I think i'll have some Belgian Ale and not listen to the liars lying on television about how they are going to save me from taxes and how hard work will pay off while you save the "special needs" kids from socialism.

rwsaunders

10-22-2008, 11:08 PM

We had a young kid (22yo) show up at our MS150 ride this year, all decked out in a brand new Specialized kit and a new Tarmac to boot, telling us what he paid for all of his gear. "I ride at least 200 miles a week, with at least a couple of 80 mile training runs per month.", said the stud. My thoughts were more power to him.

About a third of the way through the first day, he was green in the gills after trying to keep up with our group on the hills. Believe me, our climbing pace is far short of being taxing. He actually called his Dad to come and take him home that evening, under cover of darkness, never completing day 2. One of the regulars commented that the training miles must have all been downhill.

Blue Jays

10-22-2008, 11:15 PM

Sotto Voce for the win!

Michael Maddox

10-23-2008, 06:45 AM

benb

10-23-2008, 08:26 AM

Check out "Tales from the Bike Shop" by Maynard Hershon..

It pretty much has every one of these stories in it. Great stuff.

Kirk Pacenti

10-23-2008, 09:12 AM

Sotto Voce for the win!

I like that...

Ti Designs

10-23-2008, 09:15 AM

On the last page of The Ride magazine back in 2006 there was an article written about a ride from Boston to Burlington VT in one day, written by Mark Abramson (now president of USACycling). After 240 miles he claims that one of the riders "became possessed and took a few quarter-hour pulls at 33 mph as the rest of us hung on for dear life". Yeh, right...

OldDog

10-23-2008, 10:35 AM

The year was 1972, I was 13 years old. Snagged my sisters new, snazzy, orange and blue Gitane road bike. I was going to ride it in a local ride, called something like "century". I showed up, paid my 3 bucks and got a number stapled to my back. We all lined up and at the bang of a starters pistol, took off on a 100 hundred mile ride. Now the bike as too big for me and I had to reach for the pedal on each stroke. Not too far out of town, I was whooped. Panting, dizzy. A sag stopped and offered asistance, I refused. I was going to ride to the end. A few more miles, a few more hills. I was too proud to quite. So when no one was looking, and that was not hard, as no one was left back with me, I let the air out of both tires. Around again came that sag and offered to fix my flats. NO WAY! Take me home.

I guess this is an anti bragging response. I kept riding after that summer. Figured out I was 13 miles out of town when I quite. My big sister beat me up for taking her Gitane.

Good memories.

johnnymossville

10-23-2008, 10:58 AM

The year was 1972, I was 13 years old. Snagged my sisters new, snazzy, orange and blue Gitane road bike. I was going to ride it in a local ride, called something like "century"......

Good memories.

That was a great story. Funny how times change things.

Today that 13 miles you rode out of town would be 12 miles past the finish line!

They had a lot of citizen century races back then (helmet optional), now you've gotta be a Cat 1 on a team riding a $5k bike just to ride 35 1k loops over and over so you can get your butt kicked in a mass sprint at the end.

How did we survive it all? LOL

znfdl

10-23-2008, 11:07 AM

My favorite from recent memory has been CigTech, the mechanic who loves the GMC Denali bicycle, who apparently has a blistering pace between stoplights, and who is spending time upgrading his Denali because he "runs steel bikes into the ground" from overuse.

More at BikeForums, but I warn you, it gets mean...

http://www.bikeforums.net/archive/index.php/t-237231.html

Yes, his tales were quite tall and amusing.

If someone tells me a tall tale, I just accept and move on. I am really not too concerened what other people's abilities are in comparison to my own. I just like to feel good about my own efforts.

johnnymossville

10-23-2008, 11:21 AM

My favorite from recent memory has been CigTech, the mechanic who loves the GMC Denali bicycle, who apparently has a blistering pace between stoplights, and who is spending time upgrading his Denali because he "runs steel bikes into the ground" from overuse.

More at BikeForums, but I warn you, it gets mean...

http://www.bikeforums.net/archive/index.php/t-237231.html

That CigTech guy's writing style reads a bit like Bike Snob NYC. hmmmm interesting. That was fun reading.

RPS

10-23-2008, 11:44 AM

When you hear the "tall tale" of average speed or accomplishment do you call them on it or do you let it slide?If directed solely at me I ignore it. Whether due to insecurity or stupidity, I don't care enough to engage.

If self promotion to impress others I may question it politely � just enough for them to know I know better.

If meant to intimidate others � like new riders � I call them on it. It's just not right.

Acotts

10-23-2008, 12:07 PM

Yes, his tales were quite tall and amusing.

If someone tells me a tall tale, I just accept and move on. I am really not too concerened what other people's abilities are in comparison to my own. I just like to feel good about my own efforts.

I remember on Bike Forums a triahtlete claiming he rode a 40 mile out and back ride in like 55 minutes. It became a source of ridicule for months and turned into a exhibition of name calling and online physicist flexing their muscles. Towards the end, folks were looking to setup a live showcase to see what this kid could do. The OP was a lot like Cighale in that he loved using tons of exact measurements. I am gueesing the kid was probably like 14 y/o. It was his first post too. The thread was like 12 pages long and just brutal.

It was pretty funny stuff. I dont know if anyone remembers that thread and can post a link to it.

BTW, i averaged 18.2 mph on the Total 200 last year. I got so hungry on the ride that I ate a spare tube.

sloji

10-23-2008, 12:29 PM

BTW, i averaged 18.2 mph on the Total 200 last year. I got so hungry on the ride that I ate a spare tube.

Perfect!

The ride that started this post has been revised by one of the riders "my speed average was 18 that day...yah, right, maybe he could pull at 25 when he was 25 but we're 50 now...sucking wheel maybe." Thirty five minutes for the 10.5 is more like it and that computes to exactly 18mph avg and nothing to be ashamed of!

soulspinner

10-23-2008, 01:04 PM

Michael Maddox

10-23-2008, 02:52 PM

Sorry, I might not say anything, but INSIDE I'm laughing at them.

My favorite from CigTech (mentioned above) is his claim:
"I have made it to work in 41 min. on the Peugeot for the 17.2 miles commute (one way)."

That translates into a 59:04 40k. And he's buying Denali bikes!?

Anyway, hang out in a bike shop long enough and you'll hear a lot of things. I know I've posted about Jimmy Carter's bike, a "top of the line" supposedly "given to him by the Japanese ambassador." (Yes, this is from his own mouth.) It was a standard no-name mountain bike, covered in rust and dog hair.

michael white

10-23-2008, 02:57 PM

If you all had Denali's, then maybe you could ride 40 miles in under 55 minutes too! Everyone knows that the Sachs team bikes are really rebadged Denali's, right? I mean c'mon guys, it's not rocket science!

Acotts

10-23-2008, 04:09 PM

I have to say, the tall tales were much worse when I was 16 and still riding BMXs.

I think I told a variation of this story like 100 times.

"Dude, I was bombing down XXX hill going wicked fast when I saw that XXX was in my path. Instead of turning I just bunny-hopped and cleared the f*cker no problem."

Acotts was RAD back in the day. I know I cleared many garbage bags, maybe a sideways trashcan, probably a medium dog, just maybe a human being, and for sure a cop car.

Still to this day, I have a pretty nasty bunny-hop on my Serotta. I do have trouble with the Wheelies and endo's though.

fiamme red

10-23-2008, 04:11 PM

Acotts was RAD back in the day. I know I cleared many garbage bags, maybe a sideways trashcan, probably a medium dog, just maybe a human being, and for sure a cop car.Is this you?

http://www.hansrey.com/CD_photos/Freeway.jpg

Dekonick

10-23-2008, 08:55 PM

In the car?

Acotts

10-24-2008, 08:27 AM

Is this you?

http://www.hansrey.com/CD_photos/Freeway.jpg

no. I never wore helmets.

btw,that picture goes into my pic collection. good find.

GregL

10-24-2008, 09:11 AM

Here's a good one:

http://www.niagara-gazette.com/sports/local_story_254225934.html

The article justifies his selection to the Pan Am Masters Championships by "... his most recent performance at the 31-mile Tour de Loop on Aug. 23 in Oswego. He finished third out of 185 competitors � making him a no-brainer selection."

So finishing third in the "B" category of a citizen race is good enough to get you to a major international event? I'm thinking my sixth place in the "A" race should qualify me for the TDF... :D Actually, I'm impressed by the audacity of this fellow to even play along with this charade.

Regards,
Greg