Serotta Alyson doesn't have a bike?????

[Ken Robb]

No wonder she wouldn't come out when I visited.

[D-Squared]

:no: No Way! :no:

[Sandy]

Up until the day I visited Saratoga Springs, Alyson rode a bike. Quite well, indeed. I pleasantly asked her to come out and ride with me. She quickly refused, ran back into her office, turned off her lights, and started sobbing and screaming hysterically. The next day she sold her new Ottrott ST for $500.

To this day, Serottaless Alyson is seldom seen far from her desk, and has never been seen outside of the Serotta facility. She seems to be slowly improving, but she still sobs sometimes, and occasionally is heard shrieking uncontrollably. The meds seem to be doing some good, but she still has a scared look on her face. So sad! So very sad!


Shrieking Screaming Sobbing Scared Sandy

[BumbleBeeDave]

I also hear that Alyson now runs from the company break room screaming if anyone takes a tuna sandwich out of their lunchbox.

BBDave ;)

[Kevin]

Say it isn't so Alyson, say it isn't so.

Kevin

[Smiley]

Yes lets take up a fund raiser for a new Serotta for Alyson , we can give her the option of buying a Serotta or a Tuna Fish Sandwich with the funds we raise hows that sound ?

[Bruce K]

I think that Alyson is vastly underpaid for having to put up with this gang and its shenanigans.

As she has clearly stated that cycling is not in her immediate future, I can't concieve of a tuna fish sandwich big enough to properly repay her efforts.

Hopefully, things like a dancing banana t-shirt and our un-dying gratitude will suffice.

BK

[Kevan]

Believe me... with Sandy, I completely understand your woes. :confused:

Please feel free to contact me directly should you need some counsel. Together we can cope. ;)

[buttercup]

Alyson is not the only employee at serotta that does not own one. My beautiful ATI titanium mtn. bike is now sitting on my wifes finger. :butt:

[Louis]

Bcup

That must be one light bike ...

[Kevin]

Louis,

Buttercup's bike does not sound that light to me. It sounds like a rock. :banana:

Kevin

[Sandy]

You have an important decision to make. Should you sell the ring? Should you sell the wife? Should you sell them both? You KNOW that you need and want a Serotta bike. A guy has to do what a guy has to do!! :) :)

Serotta Somebody

[OldDog]

Common sense must prevail here...keep your lovely wife, sell the ring as a down payment on the Serotta. Put your wife to work paying off the Serotta.
When all payments are made you will have your lovely bride, to clean your new Ottrott.

:no:

[Kevan]

Will you please contact me directly. I have emails poised for sending to your spouses sharing the link to this thread and your views on matrimony. My requirments will be quit clear and succinct, and your speedy response should enable me to order, in the near future, an Ottrott.

Thank you, these opportunities come all too seldom. :D

[Sandy]

How should I put this Kevan- Your lovely wife has the same thoughts about selling spouses. She has had YOU and your two pugs for sale for over 2 years. She has had 54 offers on the pugs, but none on you. She is getting ready to try you alone and keep the pugs, the ones with the good looking mugs. :) :)

Picture Perfect Sandy

[Sandy]

Nice try, but not good enough. I suggest selling both the ring and the wife. Then pay cash for the Ottrott,with Record 10 or Dura-Ace 10. Then buy some fancy dancy wheels for the bike. Use the extra cash from the sale of his wife to get a fancy dancy BMW or Porsche or Mercedes.

Then Buttercup should just ride the Ottrott and wait. Buttercup's lovely wife will become Bittercup and will take it out on her new husband. She will start to miss her true love-Buttercup. Her new husband will become increasingly annoyed and unhappy with Bittercup, and will want to sell her back to Buttercup. But Buttercup, who will be loving riding his Ottrott so much, will act as if he doesn't even care that much about Bittercup.

Bittercup will become desperate, longing for her true love Buttercup. She will act worse and worse towards her husband. In total despair, the new husband will GIVE Bittercup back to her true love- Buttercup. She will become Princess Buttercup again (remember the movie Princess Bride?).

Princess Buttercup and Buttercup will be happy again. Even happier than before, since they will have each other, loving each other even more than before. Besides, Buttercup will have have his fancy dancy Ottrott and his fancy dancy car and his true love-Princess Buttercup, plus the money that was still left from the sale of the Princess and her ring. Such a beautiful ending to this story.

BUT, NO!!!! WAIT!!! THE STORY IS NOT OVER!! A new movie, produced and directed by Serotta Sandy will make the giant screen- Princess Buttercup Returns!! Cheryl Crowe will be Princess Buttercup, and yes, you guessed it, Serotta Sandy will be Buttercup. It will take over 5 years to produce the film, as Buttercup will insist upon doing the love scenes over and over until Princess Buttercup finally gets them right.

The movie, as you must have guessed, becomes a smash, making producer, director, and actor, Serotta Sandy, a very very rich man!!

Serotta Sandy changes his name to $$$$$$ Serotta Sandy. Then $$$$$ Serotta Sandy gives Mr. Ben Serotta an offer that he can't refuse. The sale for Serotta Competition Bicycles is made, an all cash deal. $$$$$$$ Serotta Sandy changes the name of the company to Sandy's Supersonic Speedsters. He becomes even richer! He changes his name again to $$$$$ Serotta Sandy $$$$$$. He develops a new model called GLORIA. Everyone LOVES GLORIA!!! It is a tremendous success, as you might have thought. Another name change occurs- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Sandy is the new name. Sales of Sandy's Supersonic Speedsters bikes simply take off, and yes once again, $$$$$$$$$$$$$ Sandy becomes even richer. $$$$$$$$$$ Sandy, now known simply as $$$$$$$$$$$$ buys up all the bicycle producers and becomes the only bicycle producer in the world, eventually raising his prices to prices that make the older Ottrott ST seem remarkably cheap.

Unfortunately $$$$$$$$$$ is charged with operating a monopoly and charging unfair prices. But dnovo represents $$$$$$$$$, easily winning the case for $$$$$$$$$$. All ends well in Serottaland, I mean $$$$$$$$land.

Ben Serotta is allowed monthly visits to Sandy's Supersonic Speedsters.

Princess Buttercup is given a new 50 carat flawless pure white diamond ring by $$$$$$$$$$$. She decides to leave Buttercup for $$$$$$$$$$$$. But that is another story........


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$