dealing with angry people

[deechee]

Just wondering what you think of the situation I was in at the beginning of what should have been a beautiful long weekend.

Friday afternoon, I take out the tri bike for a recovery ride and I was coasting an easy 100-150watts for almost an hour. Not even 10 minutes to the end of the ride, I pass a runner on the bike path, and come up to a rollerblader. Just as I start going to the left/oncoming lane to pass, she veers right into the left lane, and I brake but hit her. Unfortunately there was a railing on the left so I had nowhere to go. I'm annoyed, thinking I'm in the right, but the first words I said to her were "are you ok?". She was fine, and it didn't seem like we were hurt (just scrapes n' stuff), my aero bar was bent, but whatever. As I'm talking to her, the runner catches up and I guess he's the bf and before I know it he's yelling at me. He keeps telling me "why didn't you go into the right lane!?" When I try to explain my situation about passing on the left, and trying to re-iterate my point, saying "Sir, ..." he cuts me off and says "DON'T SIR me, you *bleep*racial slur* crazy people can't bike or drive!" and runs off, leaving his gf behind. She goes after him with a look of "sorry, what can I say" and I'm just standing there appalled.

I always had this bad feeling I might run into them again since this occured near my place and sure enough, I saw the guy talking on his cellphone on the street today with a raised voice.

I'm afraid if I ever run into him again, he might be trouble, (he's bigger than me) or he might do something irrational on the road behind a car. Should I try to talk to him? I have a good feeling that this guy wouldn't even recognize me without my gear in public (and the racial slur) but at the same time, I wonder what I should've done.

How do you deal with people in these situations? I remember the post from earlier this summer about being defensive rather than offensive (flipping the bird, yelling etc.) and try to follow it. In this particular situation I'm sure I didn't raise my voice, ever. Was I supposed to say sorry? I admit, I should've yelled "left" but I find that sometimes people GO left. This isn't the first time I've felt intimidated - any suggestions on things to do? I've always toyed with the idea of martial arts, but its not really my thing. (not to mention I would fall into that stereotype of an asian doing martial arts etc.)

[bironi]

How fast were you riding on the bike path
Were you on your aero bars

Bike paths are a place to be very conservative and wary of other users, but this is still no excuse for the BF's behavior. I know it is dorky, but I have taken to riding with a Honker horn of late. My whistling approach just wasn't distinctive enough.

[hansolo758]

Firstly, I'm glad no-one was hurt, especially you. The woman seems to understand it was an accident. The bf seems like a tool. However, I'm guessing he's the kind who likes to show off how important he is by huffing and puffing but I doubt he'll get physically violent, if only because of the legal implications. I agree that physically or verbally provoking him wouldn't be productive. He's not worth your time. Chalk it up to experience. Don't go out of your way to either meet him or avoid him. He might not even recognize you without your bike or your cycling clothes. And, do say "On your left!". That way you won't wonder if you didn't do your part.

Sorry about your aerobar.

[regularguy412]

Bad things happen. I think I'd report it to the appropriate authority,, just in case this guy DOES cause trouble. That way, you appear to be trying to do the right thing.

I wouldn't try to talk to the guy, outright. Sounds like he has a 'my way or the highway' attitude. You'll not be able to reason with an angry person. Just protect yourself and move on.

Mike in AR:beer:

[Louis]

Don't let the d!cks spoil your life.

My $0.02: He's probably like that all the time, and more likely than not, because this kind of thing happens to him often he's already forgotten about the incident and about you. Don't even bother trying to be rational and talk to him about it. Hopefully the GF gave him a talking-to, but I doubt it will help much.

Forget about it. Cycling is too much fun to let guys like that spoil it for us.

[jhcakilmer]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, there is no right way to deal with unreasonable people. I would error on the side of defense, rather than offense, but I think you need to assess each situation based on it's own merits.

Fortunately, I can't remember anytime I've been faced with a similar situation. Sure I've been in a couple scuffles, but mostly when coming to the aid of a friend, and in those cases, it's all about offense.

[Bud_E]

Don't let the d!cks spoil your life. ....

+1. I whole-heartedly subscribe to this philosophy :butt:

[dsteady]

I've been reading a book on child-rearing called "Positive Discipline." (I have 3 year old who's prone to tantrums lately). In it they say never try to make a tantrum a teachable moment. It's no use, you can only do your best to get through the tantrum. Teach later.

It's not much different with adults, I think. In that state of mind no on can be taught, or very well reasoned with. I seriously doubt the guy is a future threat, but he did very rudely insult you and that sort of thing can get under one's skin, I know.

FWIW, I also hit a pedestrian when I lived in Chicago and was flying down the lakeshore multi-use path with a Lake Michigan tailwind that was making me feel like I was Fabien Cancellara. Anyway, no one was hurt, but it is really an awful feeling and I sympathize. Those paths can get crowded very suddenly. Please remember, if you're approaching from behind on a bike, no matter what the person in front might do, it is your responsibility to be in control, even if they do something stupid and unexpected. From that lesson I now use crowded multi-use paths as spin zones, and never try to push for speed in them.

Daniel

[RIHans]

but doesn't most of this ****e happen on the "bike path".

Here's my take, sorry if you're offended...

Lot's of Tri-folk are too wrapped up in "THE TIME". Learning to
ride a bike is a skill...Go There.

The bike path's biggest problem, IMHO, is the kids breaking beer bottles...? At least in RI...bunch of...I can't say.

Go Hard. Those folks you are dealing with, carry a weapon. F-them. Sounds like a bunch of pussy c@nts.

Take back the bike path, no more flat tires.

[paczki]

He's probably like that all the time, and more likely than not, because this kind of thing happens to him often he's already forgotten about the incident and about you.

+1

I'm sure he's on to irrationally hating someone else. and doesn't remember you. Each time the rage hormones surge it probably wipes his memory clean.

[rwsaunders]

Don't let the d!cks spoil your life.

Louis owns the quote of the day. BF will get over it as he was just trying to show the GF that he's macho. If she was cute, maybe try riding the same time next week and waving.

[Samster]

Louis owns the quote of the day. BF will get over it as he was just trying to show the GF that he's macho.
+1

If she was cute, maybe try riding the same time next week and waving.
+2

[Steelhead]

was flying down the lakeshore multi-use path with a Lake Michigan tailwind that was making me feel like I was Fabien Cancellara.

AND

Those paths can get crowded very suddenly.

Those don't go together. :rolleyes:

[paczki]

was flying down the lakeshore multi-use path with a Lake Michigan tailwind that was making me feel like I was Fabien Cancellara.

AND

Those paths can get crowded very suddenly.

Those don't go together. :rolleyes:

SAY NO TO PATHLETICS!
TAKE BACK THE ROAD AND LEAVE THE PATHS TO ROLLER BLADERS, DOGS, KIDS ON TRAINING WHEELS AND CONFUSED WALKERS :banana: :banana: :banana:

[Sandy]

My inclination would be to simply leave it alone and not say anything at this point. He appears to be an ignorant and very angry person (throw in racist too) who does not have the ability/willigness to communicate in a rational, calm, and reasonable manner. You seemed to have been exceptionally low keyed and respectful during the incident. Logical and sensible communication is most difficult with a racist who tends to exhibit unwarranted anger. Leave it alone and simply live your life and your cycling as you have done. Perhaps you should make it a point to try to tell pedestrians/rollerbladers that you are passing on their left.

If you encounter him again, and he exhibits a similar mode of communication, then you might have to rethink how you should proceed. But at this point, don't let this fool annoy or change anything in how you proceed. He wasn't even directly involved in the initial incident.

Leave the fool alone.


Sandy

[BumbleBeeDave]

He wasn't running with her? ***? sounds like if she's smart he won't be her BF much longer. and if he's standing around in public yelling at people on his cell phone then I think you're right--he has issues way beyond those with you on the bike trail.

Screw the stereotype. Do what it takes to protect yourself. Take that martial arts class or get a pepper spray permit.

Don't ride your aero bars on the bike path with pedestrians present. The bars compromise brake handle access and maneuverability in an emergency. Seeing guys doing this on the bike trail with old people and little kids on bikes present really p*sses me off. Those things are for a clear road with nothing to run into.

On the bike trail I always yell "Behind you!" when I'm at least a hundred feet back. Sometimes this startles people. Tough. Better to startle them than to hit them. Then I always make sure to say "PASSING left" when I get up to the. I never say just "left" or "on your left" any more because of exactly what others described--they hear "left" and they GO left and you're on them before you can do anything about it. Then I try to say thanks as I pass.

BBD

[deechee]

Thanks everyone for the positive comments. It helps me feel better. Especially the one about mr.short fuse probably losing it with someone else already and forgetting about me.

To answer the questions, I finally looked up the powertap file and damn, I was doing 29km/h -> 15km/h just before I hit the woman. So I was over the speed limit (20km/h) but in my defense, I was doing 80 watts at the time, and was probably pushed along by a tailwind and very slight downhill. I understand I really have to be careful with my speed on the tri bike.

Was I aero or not? That's something I struggled with myself since I know that I often do hover over the brakes (ie. on the bullhorns) as soon as I pass/get near people. Unfortunately, I can't be sure where my hands were. Either way, my lesson to myself now is that I can't ride aero, even if going easy on that bike path. sigh.

Regarding the bell/tinker, I thought about it but this morning I was on the same path and the woman in front of me rang her bell behind eveerrryone. Having my own bell will definitely drive me crazy. Sorry :P

Anyway, I also cleaned the rims and brake pads to make sure this hopefully doesn't happen again. Thinking about replacing the non-spring brake levers too.

BBD, yeah the guy was running behind her. What makes it stranger is that when he blew up at me, he ran off - without her. ? If he was trying to be protective, shouldn't he be *with* her?

And yes, what bothers me about this incident is that I am usually very calm on the bike path. I really don't like the guys hammering away on the path, especially because of the kids and recreational riders on the path. They should be the ones enjoying it. I now admit, I was going too fast, and realize that even my zone1 rides have to be indoors or on wider paths. I can't wait for the weather to get colder and the paths to become bare again.

[Onno]

SAY NO TO PATHLETICS!
TAKE BACK THE ROAD AND LEAVE THE PATHS TO ROLLER BLADERS, DOGS, KIDS ON TRAINING WHEELS AND CONFUSED WALKERS :banana: :banana: :banana:

Just what I was going to write.

[zap]

Watts, zones, hr mean nothing. Ditch the digital readouts. Your on a path. Go past folks at a speed just high enough to go by them slowly. Say hi or whatever. Bust the stereotype.

Next time you see the girl, tell her to dump the bloke.

[dsteady]

was flying down the lakeshore multi-use path with a Lake Michigan tailwind that was making me feel like I was Fabien Cancellara.

AND

Those paths can get crowded very suddenly.

Those don't go together. :rolleyes:

Yes. I know that now. That was the point of my post.

FWIW, the incident took place many years ago when I was just getting back into cycling -- and I wasn't yet comfortable dodging cabdrivers. Have you ever tried doing a training ride in downtown Chicago?

dn'l

[rcnute]

Louis owns the quote of the day. BF will get over it as he was just trying to show the GF that he's macho. If she was cute, maybe try riding the same time next week and waving.

rw gets it atmo.

[BURCH]

BBD, yeah the guy was running behind her. What makes it stranger is that when he blew up at me, he ran off - without her. ? If he was trying to be protective, shouldn't he be *with* her?


After reading your intitial post, I noted that he ran off. My take on this is that he is all bark and normally not confrontational in person. Seeing his GF get in an accident probable caused him to blow up at you more than he normally would.

Running off like that sounds like he scared himself!!! He said what he wanted and then wasn't about to take it to a physical level and wasn't sure what to do next so he took off. I don't think that he will bother you. If he had stayed and tried to escalate the situation, I would be very worried for future encounters.

[Ahneida Ride]

Bike Paths can be more dangerous then the roads.

[Fixed]

Just wondering what you think of the situation I was in at the beginning of what should have been a beautiful long weekend.

Friday afternoon, I take out the tri bike for a recovery ride and I was coasting an easy 100-150watts for almost an hour. Not even 10 minutes to the end of the ride, I pass a runner on the bike path, and come up to a rollerblader. Just as I start going to the left/oncoming lane to pass, she veers right into the left lane, and I brake but hit her. Unfortunately there was a railing on the left so I had nowhere to go. I'm annoyed, thinking I'm in the right, but the first words I said to her were "are you ok?". She was fine, and it didn't seem like we were hurt (just scrapes n' stuff), my aero bar was bent, but whatever. As I'm talking to her, the runner catches up and I guess he's the bf and before I know it he's yelling at me. He keeps telling me "why didn't you go into the right lane!?" When I try to explain my situation about passing on the left, and trying to re-iterate my point, saying "Sir, ..." he cuts me off and says "DON'T SIR me, you *bleep*racial slur* crazy people can't bike or drive!" and runs off, leaving his gf behind. She goes after him with a look of "sorry, what can I say" and I'm just standing there appalled.

I always had this bad feeling I might run into them again since this occured near my place and sure enough, I saw the guy talking on his cellphone on the street today with a raised voice.

I'm afraid if I ever run into him again, he might be trouble, (he's bigger than me) or he might do something irrational on the road behind a car. Should I try to talk to him? I have a good feeling that this guy wouldn't even recognize me without my gear in public (and the racial slur) but at the same time, I wonder what I should've done.

How do you deal with people in these situations? I remember the post from earlier this summer about being defensive rather than offensive (flipping the bird, yelling etc.) and try to follow it. In this particular situation I'm sure I didn't raise my voice, ever. Was I supposed to say sorry? I admit, I should've yelled "left" but I find that sometimes people GO left. This isn't the first time I've felt intimidated - any suggestions on things to do? I've always toyed with the idea of martial arts, but its not really my thing. (not to mention I would fall into that stereotype of an asian doing martial arts etc.)
forget it bro i know some names hurt ..but i bet the tough guy feels like an ass after his g.f. talked to him ..
here is a link
http://www.mindpub.com/art359.htm
cheers

[pdmtong]

DeeChee
I think you did everything "right" except I also think you should not have been on the bike path in the first place. As noted, a bike path is a place for families, kids, and the elderly. These folks have unpredictable behaviour. The last time a friend tried to pass a group by yelling on the left, the whole group moved left and he suffered a collapsed lung and permanent skeletal reconfiguration. So if you are not going to go the same speed or LESS as those also on the path, get off and find somewhere elses to ride. I cannot tell you how many times my kid would inadvertantly stop or swerve into oncoming trafffic or into trailing traffic while she was learning to ride "in a crowd" at age 2-5. I also cannot tell you how many times I found myself trying to defensively alter the path of guys trying to put out 500 watts while we were trying to enjoy a family outing. Paths and experienced cyclists out for training just don't and shouldn't mix. Bad things can result as you found out. As for the slurs....once someone asked me for directions and I couldnt help ...the response "well, you found your way to pearl harbor, didn't you?"
Nice......Guess it wouldnt have helped that it is 2008 and not 1941 and I am not japanese. Stupid stuff exists anywhere you least expect it. I'd let it go and worry about more important things. Like steel or carbon, campy or shimano, etc...

[Charles M]

I treat a$$holes as if they literally were a rectum.

What comes out of them is never of long term concern and interaction beyond personal amusement is pointless.

[Bud_E]

Bike Paths can be more dangerous then the roads.

+1. They are spawn of the devil. I'll take my chances with traffic anytime.

[Cdub]

Forget it. Dude is a clown, did not even stay around to see if his girlfriend was ok.

[rustychisel]

Go looking for him on the bike path.

come up behind him...

... put him into the barrier

ride off!!!!!





Oh, only kidding.

[DarkStar]

Forget about him, his mouth and racist attitude will earn him a beat-down soon enough!

[vqdriver]

the one choosing to pass (whether a biker passing a jogger or a car passing a biker) needs to take that responsibility imo. but the response should be proportionate to the incident. it's not like you took her out, it was an honest accident.

that kind of stuff happens way too often. the racial bit is just maddening. i'd prolly absorb everything else the guy had to say, but the those special little words just flip a switch, even if in the heat of the moment. good on you for not snapping back.

what to do??? what can you do??? just live your life and ride your rides. if you run into him again, just give the friendly wave you'd give to any stranger.

if you run into the girl again, you can always slow down and say hi and just make sure she was ok. chances are, she'll apologize for the guys behavior and that'll be that.