Forums Are a Good Place to Vent: Acotts Bitching about not biking!

[Acotts]

I should be going to visit my brother in CT next weekend. I was going to go stay with my grandma, hang with my brother, and just have a great weekend riding, eating and just enjoying CT in its finest.

I was to come Friday night. My brother and I were going to do a nice easy 40 miles along the Ct beaches and then go drinking. I was going to spend all day saturday hangin with my grandma who is cool as hell and I love dearly.

On Sunday I was to do the Blooming Metric 100. My Bro is volunteering and is going to be with a peleton 40-strong looking to do this ride in a fun fast fashion 20+ mph. (should be fun, and if you get dropped, there are hundreds of other groups that you can latch on to.) I was hoping to meet some fellow forumites there as well!

instead i am moving furniture for a girl who would never dream of returning the favor. I understand that I am donig this as a favor to my fiance, but I am fuming that I need to give up the weekend in order to help out a person who I consider one of the most selfish women I have ever met.

I understand that she is getting divorced and it is important that my Fiance supports her as a friend in this time of need. Its just that she is in a divorce becuase she selfish and totally helpless. its her fault and she sucks and it is very possible that I never her see her again the rest of my life. She uses freinds like tools and by proxy has me moving her crap for her.

I feel like she is leveraging Carrie's good nature. By saying no, I let Carrie down. And she is more important to me than any ride. Backing down will make her look like a total ass and an undependable friend.

But still, this sucks. This is the lamest reason I have ever had not to visit my brother. This is the lamest reason I have ever had not to go for a beautiful ride.

The worst part is that lady-X will not even think that I may have had something better to do. She is too selfish.

-Asucks

[maunahaole]

Just so she fully appreciates the favor, leave a little bit of Acotts in one of the boxes for her.

[wtex]

Ball bearings in hard to access places.

Or buy one of those little beeper devices that can be hidden and beep randomly.

Good times.

[Acotts]

Sabotage huh...I never thought of that.

I wonder if I can buy a nest of spider crickets on the internet.

[AgilisMerlin]

you should of just gone to CT.

[Acotts]

I haven't gone yet. It is in two weeks. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing I let Carrie down.

[taylorj]

you should of just gone to CT.

Agree 100%. In fact, your finace may not mind. I certainly wouldn't. What I sign up to help my friends do is what I do. Moving isn't fun---(trust me I have moved 4 times in 4 years). I would feel awful if I signed up my husband to do something besides ride his bike on any sunny weekend. Have a chat with your girl. She can still help (and remain in good graces with her friend), and you can have a fabulous time riding your bike and spending time with Grandma.

[AgilisMerlin]

oops, in the future.....


your pissed for a reason, go to ct. It is not your fiance or her friend you are letting down.

everyone one needs to piss their perimeter.......jmo


now, if she is upset about you going off and riding, then she will have a lifetime of disappointment. :D

"The worst part is that lady-X will not even think that I may have had something better to do. She is too selfish."

squeak that wheel'

[CNY rider]

People can only take advantage of you if you let them.

Either go move furniture with a smile on your face or man up, say NO and go bike riding.

[znfdl]

Acotts:

Talk to Carrie. A good discussion is priceless. If you can't talk to her about this, then something is wrong.

Send me a PM after I have done RAAM and will take you on a nice metric century.

[rwsaunders]

Pull the old..."I think that I pinched a nerve" ploy. The PT told me that "Cycling alone will lead to a rapid recovery. Do not attempt to move furniture under any circumstances....especially for a Seahag"

[Ginger]

Two weeks?

Heck. You can help move. During the week after work. She can't do the move because it isn't convenient? Whose fault is that? Certainly not yours.

Do you have to box the stuff too? (don't be surprised if boxing is going on during the move..."No, we have to wait another four hours to finish boxing this next truck load..." Been there with that sort, it sucks)


How many more nice spring weekends is your grandma going to be around? (wishing no ill, just honesty.)


Ditto everyone else about talk to your fiance. It's not a matter of you letting her down. If this is the sort of friend she's worried about saving face with? Putting your friends first is fine when you're single, putting your partner first sniggles in there somewhere when you take that ring as they become more than just a strong back and weak mind that you happen to sleep with.

You know...there are movers who will come in, box stuff, load stuff, and move stuff. Perhaps you can offer to contribute some bucks to the cost?
And you know...moving it yourself doesn't mean you or your future wife cares any more.

[dleroy]

Just say no.

[Dekonick]

Two weeks?

Heck. You can help move. During the week after work. She can't do the move because it isn't convenient? Whose fault is that? Certainly not yours.

Do you have to box the stuff too? (don't be surprised if boxing is going on during the move..."No, we have to wait another four hours to finish boxing this next truck load..." Been there with that sort, it sucks)


How many more nice spring weekends is your grandma going to be around? (wishing no ill, just honesty.)


Ditto everyone else about talk to your fiance. It's not a matter of you letting her down. If this is the sort of friend she's worried about saving face with? Putting your friends first is fine when you're single, putting your partner first sniggles in there somewhere when you take that ring as they become more than just a strong back and weak mind that you happen to sleep with.

You know...there are movers who will come in, box stuff, load stuff, and move stuff. Perhaps you can offer to contribute some bucks to the cost?
And you know...moving it yourself doesn't mean you or your future wife cares any more.

I think Ginger is spot on. You should not have to give up this much of your lifefor someone who is not going to appreciate it - your fiance should (and will) understand. I agree - offer to move the week before. If she can't take that then too bad. Offer to hire some unemployed folks to move her stuff - they benefit, you benefit.

You had a trip all set - an important trip. Imagine how you will feel if, as Ginger said, one of your family members finds out they are going to die - you will always harbor resentment.

Offer to help, but do it on your terms, not hers. She can say NO if it isn't convienent for her - just as you can say no if it isnt for you.

:)

[M.Sommers]

Go to CT, drink with DarrenCT, stop by chez-RICHIE, dip your hand in the Birdbath of Life.

[Hardlyrob]

Much good advice here - Zin and Ginger are spot on as usual.

It's been a long time since I rode the Bloomin' It's a great route and a really well supported ride - don't miss it.

Talk to Carrie.

Cheers!

Rob

[woolly]

I agree with Dekonik & Ginger. "Sure, I'd be happy to help. Can't do it that weekend, though - what other dates would work for you".

I live pretty far away from my family, especially the ones that are getting up there in years. As I get older, I realize just how important those annual trips to see them really mean (both to me and to them). This one would be a no-brainer for me.

Hopefully your girl would understand. Her friend is moving, it's not the end of the world. Her friend has options, even if she doesn't appear willing to acknowledge this.

[WickedWheels]

You already agreed to help, so you have to help.

If I were you, though, I'd hire some movers. Pay for them yourself. The task will go 10x faster. Set it up to happen early in the morning, so that maybe you can still go to CT.

If nothing else, she will see that you paid for some help and will feel like she owes you. After all, it will put a price on the service she's asking you to provide for free. Maybe it will get her out of your life for merely the price of some movers.

Also, you'll look like a superstar to your fiancee.

[majorpat]

As Nancy Reagan would advise, just say no.

Hey, your fiance is letting you down by making help out this mean broad. She should be shielding you from such an unhealthy influence. Negative waves are never good.

On the other hand, I've done plenty of crap for other people I don't like and who probably didn't like me either. If you end up helping, bank it and bust it out when you need it.

[Acotts]

Thanks folks. Had a good talk w/ Carrie. She knows how I feel and she is going off on a diplomatic mission later today. I will know more by thursday.

Thanks for the good advice...and thanks for the bad advice. Some humour really helps the situation.

-A

[Ginger]

Thanks folks. Had a good talk w/ Carrie. She knows how I feel and she is going off on a diplomatic mission later today. I will know more by thursday.

Thanks for the good advice...and thanks for the bad advice. Some humour really helps the situation.

-A


Maybe there's a forum member out there who raises spider crickets?

Hope it all works out!

[CarbonCycles]

raises spider crickets?

Hope it all works out!

Spider monkeys would be more entertaining...

[gt6267a]

if you don't move things all the time its a great way to get hurt. further, who is responsible if you drop her $10k chiapet? a selfish person is not going to be understanding. the great thing about this country is money solves problems like this in a jiffy.

recently my gf moved offices a few blocks. she had hundreds, no probably thousands of pounds of books, files, furniture ... i was getting the "you have strong legs" routine.

i told her injury, weekend time, and breakage make this a bad deal for me but i would hire a moving guy to do whatever she expected me to. i picked up a phone and called a moving company. they charged something like $3-400 for everything (it was only a few blocks and prof movers are crazy efficient), she didn't have to touch a box either.

when she realized that it was inexpensive, fast, that they are insured, etc. etc. she was thrilled. she would not even collect money from me. i offered many times.

my advice, call a moving company. do what i did. offer to pay someone to replace you. if she takes you up on it. great. if she thinks its probably not right to collect the cash. great. either way you are riding and fulfilled whatever obligation is hanging out there (whether you like the obligation put on you is a different issue ... ).

[cmg]

"I understand that she is getting divorced and it is important that my Fiance supports her as a friend in this time of need."

Hope she goes through with the divorce and doesn't reconcile otherwise you'll be moving it all back.......

[Kevan]

Start pouting now. Hey, it works on us, why not them?

[jimp1234]

+1...

particularly given that this girlfriend sounds like someone who will conveniently forget you're doing her a favor when you drop her big screen, or chip her chippendale... won't you love going to small claims court for "doing her a favor"...definitely in the "no good deed goes unpunished" category.. Probably more importantly though is that despite your best intentions you'll have some bad feelings towards your GF for getting you into such a stupid position to begin with and those bad feelings will probably come out during some future argument....


if you don't move things all the time its a great way to get hurt. further, who is responsible if you drop her $10k chiapet? a selfish person is not going to be understanding. the great thing about this country is money solves problems like this in a jiffy.

recently my gf moved offices a few blocks. she had hundreds, no probably thousands of pounds of books, files, furniture ... i was getting the "you have strong legs" routine.

i told her injury, weekend time, and breakage make this a bad deal for me but i would hire a moving guy to do whatever she expected me to. i picked up a phone and called a moving company. they charged something like $3-400 for everything (it was only a few blocks and prof movers are crazy efficient), she didn't have to touch a box either.

when she realized that it was inexpensive, fast, that they are insured, etc. etc. she was thrilled. she would not even collect money from me. i offered many times.

my advice, call a moving company. do what i did. offer to pay someone to replace you. if she takes you up on it. great. if she thinks its probably not right to collect the cash. great. either way you are riding and fulfilled whatever obligation is hanging out there (whether you like the obligation put on you is a different issue ... ).

[Dekonick]

Hire the homeless :)

Sandy and King will move everything for you - King can keep Sandy in line!

[JohnS]

Another reason not to get involved...If she's such a b!tch and her ex is there, they'll get into a "I bought that/I get that" argument that you'll be in the middle of...not fun. Things could get violent.

[AgilisMerlin]

sanity, such a precious commodity