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View Full Version : "we should do a lame myths about biking and racing started in belgium thread"

Brendan Quirk
05-03-2008, 07:08 PM
1. Horses are fast. Eat horse meat.

2. Don't shave the morning of a race.

3. No adult relations anytime in the season.

Can we make the list long enough to get it published by VeloPress, w/forward by Dirk Friel?
e-RICHIE
05-03-2008, 07:11 PM
there's the myth about swimming (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc&feature=related) atmo...
swoop
05-03-2008, 07:11 PM
air conditioning will make you catch a cold.
Sandy
05-03-2008, 07:21 PM
Don't eat your dinner late at night as you will gain weight. Eat dinner earlier in the day.


Sandy
swoop
05-03-2008, 07:22 PM
Don't eat your dinner late at night as you will gain weight. Eat dinner earlier in the day.


Sandy

um, that's not belgian. thats local.
capybaras
05-03-2008, 07:26 PM
There is a substance in mussels that is similar to epo but if you eat them with fries the tests won't pick it up.
Elefantino
05-03-2008, 07:27 PM
Don't confuse your cheese slicer with your spoke wrench.
Fixed
05-03-2008, 07:35 PM
smoking opens the lungs
cheers
coylifut
05-03-2008, 07:40 PM
have all your synthetic chamois removed and replaced with a real animal skin ala Museeuw. Oh and use copious amounts of Vasolin on it.

Funny thing about the horse. A friend of mine raced in Belgium for two seasons and some chain smoking ex-con DS told gave him that line. He said, "why don't I eat a cheetah then?"
AgilisMerlin
05-03-2008, 07:45 PM
Use text messaging to make the deal with your local vet.

it simple, safe, and non traceable :D
jmewkill
05-03-2008, 07:46 PM
air conditioning will make you catch a cold.

BQ said Belgium not Italy

knee warmer are for the weak willed, old men, and americans
cadence231
05-03-2008, 07:47 PM
smoking opens the lungs
cheers


...and make them menthols dipped in Olbas.
Fat Robert
05-03-2008, 07:47 PM
let your testicles air dry

pee on your feet in the shower
CNY rider
05-03-2008, 07:49 PM
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l221/eribrav/Austin_Powers_Mike_Myers_as_Dr_Evil.jpg
Dave B
05-03-2008, 07:55 PM
1. "You would if I washed it!"


2. Better to crap your shorts then to stop and find a ditch!


3. Clinchers are for girls...glue then tape then more glue stupid!


4. Don't eff with a Belgian, they are hard as a coffin nail!
flux
05-03-2008, 08:01 PM
3. ..glue then tape then more glue stupid!




gets it.
pdxmech13
05-04-2008, 11:00 AM
Hair weaves make you go faster !
jerk
05-04-2008, 11:15 AM
some of these myths are true.

horse meat is leaner than beef.

pissing on your feet does prevent athletes foot.

wet naughty bits in dry shorts makes for swampness...

shaving does slightly traumatize the immune system.

cabbage leaves make good hats.

training your cardio system at a higher weight and then racing into skinniness does wonders.

jerk
Brendan Quirk
05-04-2008, 12:10 PM
The team dropped out en masse b/c the hotel served up a bad batch of bread pudding.
Bill Bove
05-04-2008, 01:03 PM
i've done everything the jerk mentions except pissing on my feet to prevent cure athletes foot, i just do it for fun.

i think i'm turning japanese, er belgian belgian. i really think so.
myette10
05-05-2008, 11:49 AM
training your cardio system at a higher weight and then racing into skinniness does wonders.

Aha!! This is the training philosophy I have been looking for in preparation of cyclocross season.

Thank you jerk, you just saved me an entire summer of starvation.