like a scalded spider monkey on meth....

[Kines]

does anyone have a link to a humorous list of over-the-top descriptions of, for example, how one will now be capable of climbing once they purchase brand x of wheels, or if they use brand y's new carbon frame, etc.?

TIA
KN

[Ken Robb]

no but I remember Thom McCahill who did road tests for Mechanix Illustrated writing about the 1953 or 1954 Chrysler New Yorker with the Hemi 331ci 180 hp V-8 that it "accelerated like a gazelle with a tail full of hornets".

[regularguy412]

Try here:

http://similepedia.com/

And here:

http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/spoon/similes.php

Mike in AR:beer:

[benb]

Not a speed one but I still love "He's opened his suitcase of pain!" or whatever it was..

[David Kirk]

Not a speed one but I still love "He's opened his suitcase of pain!" or whatever it was..

"opened a Costco sized can of whoop-as$"

dave

[fiamme red]

http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2007/08/bsnyc-2008-dream-bike-shootout.html

Sample:

"To put it simply, this bike climbs like a squirrel, descends like a greased squirrel on a luge, corners like a decagon, and accelerates like a methamphetamine-addicted rabbit. (Or like a Porsche being driven by a methamphetamine-addicted rabbit.)"

[Ahneida Ride]

Accelerates faster then the National Debt ...

Spins faster then the National Debt Clock .....

Well what did you expect from me? ;)