Make me laugh

[Too Tall]

No good joke left behind. Go for it.

[bostondrunk]

here ya go:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Vandenbroucke_%28cyclist%29

[shinomaster]

Q: WHAT DID THE ELEPHANT SAY TO THE NAKED MAN?

A: how do you breath through that thing?

[AgilisMerlin]

"A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death"

[cadence231]

Did you hear about the fire at the circus last nite?


It was in tents!

[J.Greene]

Did you hear scientist have discovered THE food that causes a decrease in a woman's libido?

wedding cake

JG

[SoCalSteve]

If black storks bring black babies...

and white storks bring white babies...

What brings NO babies?

a swallow

[sbornia]

Know the difference between European heaven and European hell?

In heaven....

the Brits are the police
the French are the chefs
the Germans are the car mechanics
the Swiss run the government
and the Italians are the lovers


In hell...

the Brits are the chefs
the French are the car mechanics
the Germans are the police
the Swiss are the lovers
and the Italians run the government

[roman meal]

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Paddy'O Furniture

[manet]

p u c c i

[petitelilpettit]

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for
more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself,

"It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he
began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.

Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a
drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him,
"How long has it been since you had a good cigar."

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the
left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He
takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and b'gorrah," said the
man, "that is so good. I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Powers Irish
Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a
pocket - removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and
took a long drink.

"'Tis the nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "Truly fantastic."

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long
front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man
and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed -

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there,
too!"

[M.Sommers]

Adultish Superman/Wonderwoman/Invisible Man joke:

http://www.mattkruse.com/humor/superman.txt

[Grant McLean]

I just ordered a dura ace group~

-g

[William]

Q: Why do squirells swim on there back?





A: to keep their nuts dry




William

[Bud_E]

One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So, he tied her up and went golfing.

[AgilisMerlin]

Know the difference between European heaven and European hell?

In heaven....

the Brits are the police
the French are the chefs
the Germans are the car mechanics
the Swiss run the government
and the Italians are the lovers


In hell...

the Brits are the chefs
the French are the car mechanics
the Germans are the police
the Swiss are the lovers
and the Italians run the government


way too political boyo' :D

[OtayBW]

Hear about the woman who backed into the fan?









....Disaster.

[FMS_rider]

-

[roman meal]

-

Must be from Albany.

[gasman]

Guy walks into his kitchen one Saturday afternoon his wife says, " Quick make love to me right now. " Surprised, he obliges and as he pulls his pants afterwards he says- "Wow! What was that sudden urge all about ?" Slightly confused she says, " Urge? No the egg timer was broken."


Kaching

[Fixed]

http://ken_ashford.typepad.com/blog...to_make_th.html
cheers

[guyintense]

Why do mice have little balls?
They hate to dance.

[Ti Designs]

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room
and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never
want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on
some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that
ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out
all of his beer.

[hoss]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return to you?















A stick.

[markie]

Why do women wear make up and use perfume?

Because they are ugly and they smell!

[Ti Designs]

SteveP was giving me some free advice the other day when...

[2LeftCleats]

1. An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shakingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Keep away from those," she said, "they're for the funeral."


2. Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet.
'Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!'

[bcm119]

written on the wall in a local pub's bathroom:
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers"

[shoe]

what do you call a deer with no eyes.........no idear

what did the bra say to the hat---you go on a head i'll hang out here with these 2

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs---still no idear

duck walks into a pharmacy...walks up to the register with some chap stick...looks at the cashier and says...put it on my bill..

horse walks into a bar...bartender is like whats with the long face

termite walks into a bar..looks around and says hey..is the bar tender here

[regularguy412]

Whadda ya call a Scotsman with a sheep under each arm?











A pimp.

( No offense to the Pale guy here, or any other Scots. I LOVE Scotland. Been there twice)

Mike in AR :beer:

[Ginger]

Whadda ya call a Scotsman with a sheep under each arm?











A pimp.

( No offense to the Pale guy here, or any other Scots. I LOVE Scotland. Been there twice)

Mike in AR :beer:

What...you had to try the other sheep?

[Fivethumbs]

A little boy walks into his mother's bathroom just as she gets out of the shower and sees her naked. The boy points to his mom's crotch and says, "Mommy, what's that?" The mother says, "Oh that?..um..that's my sponge, honey...that's my sponge." The boy said, "Okay Mommy" and walked away.

A couple of hours later boy comes back to his mother and says, "Mommy, can I see your sponge again?" The mother said, "No honey." "Why not?" asks the boy. "Umm..because I lost it...yeah...I lost my sponge honey, I'm sorry." The boy seemed to accept that answer and went off to play.

Later that afternoon the mother was in the kitchen and the little boy comes running in very excited. "Mommy! Mommy! I found your sponge !I found your sponge!!" The mother said, "What are you talking about?" The boy says, "Mommy, I found your sponge! The lady next door has it...she's washing Dad's face!"

[DRZRM]

A duck walks into a quiet bar around lunch time, hops onto a stool and orders a Bud and a sandwich. The bartender, quite taken aback by the talking duck walks up with the beer in his hand with is mouth agape, stammering.

The duck say "Yeah, yeah, I'm a talking duck, let's not make a big deal over it. I work as a drywaller and we're renovating a house around the corner. I'll be coming in for lunch for the next few days."

Later that night, the bartender tells a buddy of his, who works for the circus about this talking duck who's coming into his bar, and the guys tells him they'd pay almost anything to hire an actual talking animal for his circus.

The next day the bartender says to the duck "Listen, my buddy works for a circus, and I don't know how you're doing for money over there on your contracting job, but he'd like to talk to you. They are very interested in hiring you to work for them. I imagine they can make whatever you are earning look like peanuts."

The duck says "Great, I'm always looking to move up, I'd love to talk to your friend. A circus huh?"

Bartender: "Yeah."

Duck: Three rings?"

Bartender: "Yup."

Duck: "Big tent, dirt floor?"

Bartender: "Yeah...a circus! Clowns, jugglers, elephant...a circus!!"

Duck: "Yeah, OK, so...whadda they need a drywaller for?"

[Ken Robb]

A man calls the cops and says he thinks he wife is dead.

Cop asks him what makes him think that she's a goner.

"well I'm not really sure. The sex is the same but the dishes are piling up in the sink."

[WickedWheels]

A farmer walks into his bedroom, where his wife is in bed reading, with a sheep under his arm. "Look honey, this is the pig I've been f%cking for the last 3 year". His wife is stunned, doesn't know what to say. The only thing that comes to her lips is "That's not a pig, that's a sheep". The farmer says "Shut up, b!tch, I'm not talking to you!"

[shinomaster]

I just ordered a dura ace group~

-g


For reals?

[regularguy412]

What...you had to try the other sheep?

WHEW, Ginger! You are too much!

:D :D :D

MIke in AR:beer:

[Too Tall]

I love you guys, gals and gal-guys...needed that :)

Emo Phillips kills me. Here's one:

==============

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

[victoryfactory]

A guy walks onto the psychiatrist's office for his first appointment
wearing nothing but home made saran wrap shorts.
The doctor looks at him and says "well... I can see your nuts"

[Fat Robert]

perhaps this is over the forum line, but....

http://www.dead-frog.com/aristocrats/list.php

[2LeftCleats]

Here's another of my favorites:

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young male elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed very distressed and so Mbembe approached cautiously. He bent down on one knee and looked at the elephant's foot to find a large piece of wood deeply embedded. Very carefully Mbembe was able to work the wood out of the foot with his hunting knife and the elephant was able to bear weight once again on the injured foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a very odd look on its face stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe froze and feared that he would be trampled. However, the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. The young man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

20 years later Mbembe was walking through the Chicago zoo with his young son. When they approached the elephant compound, one of the animals turned and walked over close to where Mbembe and his son stood. The large bull elephant stared at them, lifted its front foot off the ground and then put it back down. The elephant did that several times and then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Instantly recalling the events 20 years earlier, Mbembe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. He summoned all his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He slowly walked up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

[Tom]

A father walks into his son's bedroom and says "Son, if you keep masturbating you'll go blind!"




"I'm over here, Dad."

[gt6267a]

Four women are at the psychologist's office with their children. After listening to the ladies for about 30 minutes, the psychologist finally says, "ladies ladies, I have figured it out. It is very simple really, you all have the same problem. You all have obsessive personalities."

The women deny this so the psychologist continues, "Miss Jones, you are obsessed with food and you named your daughter Candy. Miss Smith, you are obsessed with money and you need your daughter Mercedes. Miss Park, you are an alcoholic and should join AA, you named your daughter Brandy."

At this point the fourth women gets up and drags her child out of the session, "Come on, Richard, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about"

[OldDog]

An elderly gentleman in his mid-90's, with hair well-groomed,
>> wearing a great-looking suit with a flower in his lapel, smelling
>> slightly of a very nice after-shave, and presenting a well-cared-for
>> image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the
>> bar, an elderly lady in her mid-80's, also well-dressed and
>> attractive, is sitting alone. The gentleman walks over, sits down
>> beside her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says ...
>>
>> "So tell me, do I come here often?"
>>

[Louis]

MO earlier this week.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/03/19/us/19cnd-storm.600.jpg

[Kevan]

taken from a BBC tv show some years ago. A discussion between two young men over a pint about a potential date with a lass. "So what is she like?", asks the first. The reply came, "You'll find her generous...both in proportion and inclination."

[djg]

A rabbi walks into a bar with a giant, bright green frog sitting on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "holy shet, where'd you get that"?

The frog says "brooklyn, they're all over the place."

[swoop]

how do you get a nun pregnant?
(pm me for answer).

[znfdl]

At the end of the tax year the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said,

'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'

'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'

'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: 'What about all these bread wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'

'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread-wafers.'

'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi,' he went on, 'what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'

'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete d_ck.

[harlond]

Heisenberg was driving down the road one day when a police officer pulled him over. The officer walked up to the window and asked if Heisenberg knew how fast he was going.

Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."

[Ken Robb]

Here's another of my favorites:

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young male elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed very distressed and so Mbembe approached cautiously. He bent down on one knee and looked at the elephant's foot to find a large piece of wood deeply embedded. Very carefully Mbembe was able to work the wood out of the foot with his hunting knife and the elephant was able to bear weight once again on the injured foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a very odd look on its face stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe froze and feared that he would be trampled. However, the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. The young man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

20 years later Mbembe was walking through the Chicago zoo with his young son. When they approached the elephant compound, one of the animals turned and walked over close to where Mbembe and his son stood. The large bull elephant stared at them, lifted its front foot off the ground and then put it back down. The elephant did that several times and then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Instantly recalling the events 20 years earlier, Mbembe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. He summoned all his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He slowly walked up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This must be a true story because 3 of my NU classmates sent it to me too. :rolleyes:

[Ken Robb]

A father walks into his son's bedroom and says "Son, if you keep masturbating you'll go blind!"




"I'm over here, Dad."
Or: "how 'bout if I do it 'til I just get near-sighted?"

[Steevo]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a $1.25.

Deer nuts are just under a buck.

[Fred D]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, hey we have a drink named after you. The grasshopper says, you have a drink named Steve?

Fred D

[Dino]

It was an unsual time in the serengeti. More than 3 seasons had passed without rain and the land was starving from the drought. Giant dust clouds filled the horizon and there was no shade left anywhere for the animals to hide. In time, all of the animals pulled together to migrate as one. Without fear of preditory attack, the converged into one mighty, but weak caravan and started trekking for whatever ounce of life could be found. The camals were loosing their hair and the monkeys had cracked lips. The hooves on the giraffes were deteriorating and the lions were forced to stay awake to keep moving with the herd. It was the most desperate of times that any of the animals had ever experienced.

The passing baron landscape was mind-numbing. Faith and hope withered. The option was simple; die standing still, or take the chance that walking forward might produce new life. The camals humps were growing flat by now.

Then on one day that seemed ever hotter and dryer than the rest, one of the monkey's looked over and saw two of the giraffes as they tried to speak. Voices hoarse from dehydration, the taller of the two giraffes looked as though he'd just realized something. Although faint to the untrained eye, there was a brief moment of discovery as the one giraffe spoke up and said..."hey, isn't today Thursday?"

:banana:

[Fred D]

Dura Ace Ventura

[keno]

A fellow on the road stops in a bar in a new town. Orders himself a drink and notices two attractive women farther down the bar. He starts chatting with them and buys them drinks. After a while, one of them says "Why don't you come to our apartment with us and we'll have some fun." "Sure", he says. The other woman says "But you should know that we're Siamese twins." He says that's just fine by him.

Several years later, the same guy walks in to the same bar and orders himself a drink. The two sisters are, once again, sitting a bit farther down the bar. One sister says to the other "Remember that guy who just walked in? We had a lot of fun together that time. Should we invite him back to our apartment again?" "Sure", the other one said, "But do you think he'll remember us?"

[keno]

A man walking a quiet street in Belfast one night, realizes that someone has come up behind him. The pursuer grabs him and says "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant". Thinking quickly he answers "Neither, I'm a Jew." To that the attacker says "I've got to be the luckiest Arab in Ireland."

[DRZRM]

An 87 year-old man steps into the confessional booth and says to the priest:

"Father, I have to tell you...I just spent the entire weekend in bed with two 25-year-old women. I've done things that I've only read about in the past."

The priest leaned forward to peer through the screen and said:

"I'm happy to take your confession, but I'm afraid I don't recognize you...are you a member of the congregation?"

The old man said: "No, I'm not even Catholic, in fact I'm Jewish."

The priest says, " Well, I'm a bit confused...why are you telling me this?'

The old man replies: "Are you kidding...I'm telling everyone!"

[Tom]

Three traveling salesmen arrive at a remote farmhouse one evening, as three traveling salesmen are wont to do in stories such as these. They ask the farmer if he could put them up for the night. The farmer says he does have a spare room with one bed and they might all three fit in it if they lie one next to the other. They look at it and decide they'll stay.

In the morning the salesman on the one side says "I had the most amazing dream. I dreamed a gorgeous woman was giving me a hand job."

The salesman on the other side says "That's amazing. I, too, had a dream that a gorgeous woman was giving me a hand job."

The salesman in the middle says "Geez. I didn't have a dream as good as that. I only dreamed I went skiing."

[bostondrunk]

how do you get a nun pregnant?
(pm me for answer).

the same way you get a witch pregnant... :)

[ClutchCargo]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, hey we have a drink named after you. The grasshopper says, you have a drink named Steve?

Fred D

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The skeleton says, "I'll have a beer and a mop." :)
.
.
.
.
.

[Lifelover]

Why would Helen Keller have been a bad driver?




















Because she was a woman!

[jmewkill]

what do you call a blonde with a runny nose?










full.

[CarbonCycles]

http://forums.thepaceline.net/showthread.php?t=42521

When this guy is picking bits of carbon fiber out his arse....TT might get this one ;)

[OtayBW]

So...this Koala Bear walks into a whorehouse.

The proprietor comes down and says "Hi, what can I do for you?"
Koala Bear says: "Well, I'd like a lady for the evening, please."
Proprietor says: "Sure. Have a seat. We'll fix you right up."
The girls are summoned downstairs; the Koala Bear picks one out and she takes him back up to her room and closes the door.

She starts to slowly undress and lays up on the bed. He begins to unzip his little Koala Bear suit and joins her on the bed. He then proceeds to perform the most exquisite oral sex on her for 15-20 minutes, to the point where she just almost can't stand it anymore. And then, all of a sudden, he gets up, starts putting on his little Koala Bear suit, and he starts heading for the door.

She says: "Hey - what's up? Where're you going?"
He says: "Well, I think I'm pretty much finished here. That's all I wanted."
She says: "Hold on there just a second. You just can't leave like that. You have to PAY ME."
He says: "Pay you? What are you talking about?"
She says: "I'm a prostitute. You have to pay me."
She pulls out a dictionary, flips through the pages, points to an entry and says: "Yeah - see...right here. Prostitute: 'P-R-O-S-T-I-T-U-T-E, a woman who engages in sexual activity for money."
He says: "OK, OK...Let me see that book...."
He flips around through several pages, stops, and points at another entry and says: "Koala Bear: K-O-A-L-A B-E-A-R, an Australian marsupial who eats bushes and leaves"........

[Larry D]

The love story of Ralph and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both
patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the
hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act
she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she
now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were
able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?'

[Bud_E]

For some reason I remember Clement Freud telling this one on the Dick Cavett show in his dry British accent:

A doctor is talking to his patient in a hospital room. He says "I have some bad news and I have some good news. The bad news is that you have to have your feet amputated. The good news is that the patient in the next bed wishes to buy your slippers."

[DRZRM]

Just to give credit, I was listening to an old This American Life podcast on a run this weekend, and this joke left me laughing out loud in some residential neighborhood (I embellished the set-up a little). Anyone who cannot find humor in jokes about pedophiles (and I imagine this may be a sizable portion of the population) should stop reading here.

So here goes....

It was a dark and stormy night and a pedophile is walking hand-in-hand into a foreboding forest with a six-year-old. As they walked deeper and deeper into the woods, the little boy--with a single tear running down his cheek said-:

"Mister, I'm scared."

The pedophile looked down into the boy's sad blue eyes and said:

"You? I have to walk out of here by myself."

[Too Tall]

http://forums.thepaceline.net/showthread.php?t=42521

When this guy is picking bits of carbon fiber out his arse....TT might get this one ;)
I heart that ;)

[Fred D]

Do you know how to circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers.

Fred D