I have a sad story to tell you...

[William]

.....
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night as I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer, I'll admit
Each time I say, "Darling, I love you"
She tells me that I'm full of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

My old lady died in a bathtub
She died from a terrible fit
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

When I was in France with the army
One day I looked inside my kit
I thought i would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

And now folks my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit
And if anyone of you feel offended
Push your head in a bucket of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

[Too Tall]

The Doctor is out but he'll be back agaaaaain
with more demented music :)

Nice. I was a fan.

[rbtmcardle]

hadnt heard that in 25 years, laughed a lot the first time i heard it

[Sandy]

I wonder if William was really in the hospital for his appendix. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


Sandy

[BumbleBeeDave]

You thought it was a joke,
and so you LAUGHED, YOU LAUGHED!
When I had said that losing you
Would make me flip my lid,

RIGHT?

You know you laughed.
I HEARD you laugh, you laughed
And laughed and laughed
And then you left,
But now you know I´m utterly mad

AND

(chorus 2):
They´re coming to take me away,
Haha, they´re coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the happy home with trees and flowers
And chirping birds and basket weavers
Who sit and smile and
Twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they´re coming to take me away,
HAHAAAAAAAAA

I cooked your food,
I cleaned your house,
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish loving deeds

HUH?

Well, you just wait,
They´ll find you yet,
And when they do, they´ll put you in
the ASPCA, you mangy MUTT,

AND

(chorus 1)
(chorus 2)
(chorus 1 trailing into mumbles in the distance)
You left me anyhow and
Then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I´ve gone completely
out of my mind

AND

(chorus 1):
They´re coming to take me away,
Haha, they´re coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I´ll be happy to see
Those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they´re coming to take me AWAY,
HA HAAAA

[Ti Designs]

And I'm down to stems and seeds again - oops, wrong song!

[William]

Oh, there's 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18
wheels on a big rig;

(OK, everybody now!)

Oh, there's 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18
wheels on a big rig;
And they're rollin' rollin' rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

(Mighty fine, good buddy, let's back the big rig on up now!)

Oh, there's 18-17-16-15-14-13-12-11-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
wheels on a big rig;

(OK, now let's count just the even number wheels.)

Oh, there's 2-4-6-8-10-12-14-16-18
wheels on a big rig;
And they're rollin' rollin' rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

(OK, let's go to the other side of the truck now and count just
the odd number wheels.)

Oh, there's 1-3-5-7-9-11...13.....15.......17 wheels on a big rig;

(Sounds like you might have a flat...I don't know.)

(OK, since you're so smart, why don't you try doing it in Roman numerals?)

(OK, I will.)

Oh, there's I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII
wheels on a big rig,
And they're rollin' rollin' rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

(Top that, will you!)

(OK, I will now attempt to divide the wheels of a big rig by pi.)

Oh, there's 3.1431425679..11...million wheels on a big rig,
And they're rollin' rollin' rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

[bostondrunk]

Willy,
Don't scare me with a post title like that! I thought Rhea was in trouble!

[William]

Willy,
Don't scare me with a post title like that! I thought Rhea was in trouble!

No worries BD, she's curled up by the radiator with Bruno Boxer sawing Z's. :)




William

[davids]

...(OK, since you're so smart, why don't you try doing it in Roman numerals?)

(OK, I will.)

Oh, there's I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII
wheels on a big rig,
And they're rollin' rollin' rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.I used to almost be able to do that part. Then my daughter got older...