being honest with yourself

[Climb01742]

this has been a tough winter for me.

snow and cold came early and hard to boston. we almost broke the record for snow in december. work has been a b!tch. our biggest client has their annual sales meeting in mid-january, which means from thanksgiving through yesterday we were in constant insane mode (like having hours-long conference calls on both dec 26 and jan 1).

we're living in a rental house while our house in being 50% torn down, 100% gutted and renovated. we are only 3 months into the project and we are already behind schedule and over-budget. the excavators found a car-size piece of ledge where the new basement was supposed to go.

this spring and summer i want to do time-trials. so i'm trying to not just ride this winter but train. outside rides are a-ok. even when it's butt-freezing-cold and there is "some" ice or snow, i'm out. i freak mrs climb out sometimes with the days i'll ride go riding. it can be pretty dumb sometimes but even the worst ride outside is better than the best ride inside.

but what's getting hard is... i can't just ride, i gotta train. we had a week of 60 degree temps a week ago and that was awesome. real training outside. but before that and now again this past week, the snow and ice. training outside during the slim daylight hours that work made available was impossible.

i can't tell you how tough riding the trainer is for me. i just hate it. twice this past week i went to the gym instead and out of guilt, beat the cr@p out of my body with weights and core. so much so that i tweaked my back pretty good.

so here's the deal: i can give myself, find for myself, a bunch of excuses for why real training just ain't happening so far. within this context of weather and work, maintaining fitness would be pretty easy. but building fitness, real training is hard. this is where i gotta be honest with myself and ask the most basic question an athlete can: how bad do i want it?

being real honest with myself i gotta admit something: living in new england, riding the trainer hard in the winter is the only way to really train. the litany above can give me excuses for bailing. but being dead honest with myself, i think the only real answer for getting on the trainer or not is: how much do i really want to do a fast TT or not? i've been through this every which way in my mind a million times the past week and as real as some of the circumstances of my life are, they aren't excuses. i could use them as excuses. but whether or not i get on the trainer is really about desire. luckily i can ride outside today and tomorrow. cold but doable. come next week, i hope i know what i'll do. honesty is a b!tch. but it's also fascinating and simple and revealing about ourselves.

how much do you want it?

hey, thanks for listening. i just had to get this out.

[barry1021]

this has been a tough winter for me.

snow and cold came early and hard to boston. we almost broke the record for snow in december. work has been a b!tch. our biggest client has their annual sales meeting in mid-january, which means from thanksgiving through yesterday we were in constant insane mode (like having hours-long conference calls on both dec 26 and jan 1).

we're living in a rental house while our house in being 50% torn down, 100% gutted and renovated. we are only 3 months into the project and we are already behind schedule and over-budget. the excavators found a car-size piece of ledge where the new basement was supposed to go.

this spring and summer i want to do time-trials. so i'm trying to not just ride this winter but train. outside rides are a-ok. even when it's butt-freezing-cold and there is "some" ice or snow, i'm out. i freak mrs climb out sometimes with the days i'll ride go riding. it can be pretty dumb sometimes but even the worst ride outside is better than the best ride inside.

but what's getting hard is... i can't just ride, i gotta train. we had a week of 60 degree temps a week ago and that was awesome. real training outside. but before that and now again this past week, the snow and ice. training outside during the slim daylight hours that work made available was impossible.

i can't tell you how tough riding the trainer is for me. i just hate it. twice this past week i went to the gym instead and out of guilt, beat the cr@p out of my body with weights and core. so much so that i tweaked my back pretty good.

so here's the deal: i can give myself, find for myself, a bunch of excuses for why real training just ain't happening so far. within this context of weather and work, maintaining fitness would be pretty easy. but building fitness, real training is hard. this is where i gotta be honest with myself and ask the most basic question an athlete can: how bad do i want it?

being real honest with myself i gotta admit something: living in new england, riding the trainer hard in the winter is the only way to really train. the litany above can give me excuses for bailing. but being dead honest with myself, i think the only real answer for getting on the trainer or not is: how much do i really want to do a fast TT or not? i've been through this every which way in my mind a million times the past week and as real as some of the circumstances of my life are, they aren't excuses. i could use them as excuses. but whether or not i get on the trainer is really about desire. luckily i can ride outside today and tomorrow. cold but doable. come next week, i hope i know what i'll do. honesty is a b!tch. but it's also fascinating and simple and revealing about ourselves.

how much do you want it?

hey, thanks for listening. i just had to get this out.

Heading out to Boxford now before it snows-any ride outside is better inside as you say. I find every year I have more excuses to avoid the trainer-I do find that doing Spinervals makes it easier than just getting on the trainer and doing it myself. Good luck with the renovation, I had the same thing happen when I put a pool in

b21

[cs124]

thanks for sharing that.

i've found myself in similar situations... questioning the importance of my goals, examining my motivations, and finding the strangest answers... it's fun!

[thwart]

Obviously different things for different people... but for me it really helped to move the trainer and rollers out to the garage this year. Roll up the garage door and you're outside---but without the wind chill and such. So... warmer clothes to ride but nothing excessive. And de-layering means just a drop next to the trainer. Works well to below zero. Hours training have more than doubled over last year (although still not enough :rolleyes: ).

Shoveling snow around my car (which is now out in the drive) isn´t too much trouble.

Real sunlight while riding (south facing garage)... :banana:

[dirtdigger88]

Climb- I'll be no help here

BUT

This has been one of the easiest winters on me- I have finally come to realize that I can get myself in cycling shape in two months. I am finally NOT trying to ride rollers- or force myself outside when its cold-

I get on my rollers sometimes (when I feel like it) I skip outside rides when its too cold- like last saturday- sorry jimi :)

The differance is that I dont feel guilty about it- THAT is new for me

Sorry you are having the troubles you are- but you know you will get through with flying colors- just keep you head up

Jason

[ericspin]

My heart was beating fast as I read you post, climb. Man that is a lot to heap on yourself at one time. Being a contractor I can tell you one of the most stressful things I have ever done is remodel MY OWN house and I manage large commercial projects for a living. I can't imagine doing that, fighting winter AND the whole job deal.. For me the TT would have to wait but then that's just for me.

Sorry to add this but..........I'm glad I live in Florida sometimes. Like now while I am reading your post.

Good luck with your challenge and your decision.

Maybe more importantly.....how's your dog doing?

[Chris]

They asked Mike Tyson one time why, when he didn't have a job and had all day to train, he still got up and did his road work at 4:30am. His response, paraphrased was that because the other guys weren't. The mental toughness you get from training in more difficult situations when others won't is a plus in itself.

[CNY rider]

Just curious; who are you competing with?
Yourself, other riders at the TT? Or something more nebulous?

[DarrenCT]

lifting a keg of beer and then drinking it with some buds?

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/2509/jonkegliftue5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[wasfast]

I think you're being way too hard on yourself. If you didn't have to "train", would you be happier/more relaxed? It's great to have a goal for the year (mine's also doing TT's this year) but when you're closer to retirement than you are to the legal drinking age, you need some balance.

If you had to postpone the TT idea for another year, then do it. Mental sanity is the most important thing IMO, not race results. A month after ANY race, no one remembers who did what and doesn't really care. That's not worth all the pressure.

[jtferraro]

Climb,

I hear ya' and do think it all comes down to DESIRE. How badly do you want to become a FASTER TimeTrialist?? No doubt your workload and personal load is Huge...HUGE! But, as you said, it really comes down to one word: DESIRE!! Only you can answer that question...

Best of luck in your decision and best of luck @work & @home!

[Len J]

itis" ............. You'd think at our age, we'd be more comfortable with ourselves. I feel like my mirror is talking back to me. God does have a sense of humor.

First of all....I agree...the trainer absolutely sucks. That being said, what are your options?

1.) Suck it up and drive yourself to do all of your training on the trainer. My guess is that you will be mentally burnt out and hate cycling by April.

2.) Have you tried a computrainer with a big screen? I've been told, but have no personal experience, that it can be distracting enough to allow you to "escape the boredom" of the trainer and actually get a decent workout. Others may chime in here who know more.

3.) Long weekend, once a month to someplace warm to train. Build your schedule around this with supplemental trainer rides to maintain fitness, trips south to build fitness and opportunistic outside rides for the mental recharge.

4.) Move south.

5.) Find some balance. build when the weather allows, Train as you are able on the trainer. Take time right before the weather breaks to go away for a week or 2 of focused training that will allow you to take a step change while still be mentally fresh enough to still enjoy it.

6.) Spiked tires?

7.) Accept your situation. You seem to like to "Pile on" yourself. Let's see how much stress I can pile on......hmmmmmmm........
-run a growing business, check...........
-relatively new marriage, check.........
-move to temporary living location, check..........
-completely renovate old house with all the decisions & surprises involved, check........
-raise a teenager, check..........
-set an athletic goal for myself that stretches me and leaves me no out but beating myself up, check..........

What are your priorities?

Give yourself a break , man..........what exactly are you trying to prove? & to whom?

Hang in man......you are good enough (better than good IMO, but that's not the opinion that matters).

Len

[David Kirk]

I hear you loud and clear. There was a time so long ago when I was trying to live in the snowy north east and be in good enough race shape to race at a very high level. It was very hard. For the first few seasons I tried to ride my bike year round. A tough thing to effectively do in upstate NY. I became depressed and over-trained and frustrated.

Then a training partner taught me a very valuable lesson. He taught me to be an athlete first and a cyclist second. Be fit independent of the bike. We did so many different things during those down times when the weather shut us out. XC skiing, basketball, running bleachers, weights, snowshoeing....etc. Be an athlete that happens to ride a bike.

I don't know if your post above was simply a valuable blowing off of steam or if there was a question hidden in there. I apologize if there wasn't a question. If there was a question implied then I would say put the bike on a hook and go have fun getting your heart rate up in other ways. It's better for you and more fun and you'll be absolutely ready to load on the miles and the work when the roads dry out. Life's too short to ride in your house.

Sincerely,

Dave

[swoop]

james... that's pretty much it.

[e-RICHIE]

i would never ride indoors - ever.

the fittest i have ever been as a cyclist when i could not
ride regularly outdoors in the cold weather was when i'd
go up to cockaponsett forest a mile out of town and just
walk - and walk - and walkmo atmo.

walking is under-rated. i lost weight. toned by body. got
the heartbeat upmo atmo. and got away from people. do
it, james. and walk alone. it's not a social activity, it's for
your headmo atmo.

ps

arrange disorder

:o :o :o
:o :o :o
;) :o :o

[djg]

Climb, I'm just trying to work myself back toward the level where I wasn't very good anyway, so take this with a grain of salt, but (a) when I was a mediocre college racer on the men's B team up in New Hampshire, I did this and that -- some road time when it was clear, some rollers work more regularly, but also some other stuff, mostly skiing -- and the folks who were actually good (as in, winning major collegiate races, among others) did more or less the same variety of stuff, and (b) as a grown-up juggling stuff, who is stretched a little thin, how about being realistic not just about ultimate results (none of us is ever setting the hour record, right?) but about timing -- if you can maintain fitness now, maybe you'll find the time to work toward better results later in the season, you know, peaking in July, like what's his name, as opposed to May.

[chrisroph]

climb:

been there done that. here is what i learned.

there is really no reason to kill yourself about difficulties "training" in mid-january in a harsh weather year. think a little outside the box and you will discover that you can fully prepare yourself for the coming season with emphasis now on core and strength work while also building aerobic base fitness using non-cycling activities like elliptical, running, xc skiing, swimming, rowing. combine this with 3-6 hrs/week on the bike. you can do this on the weekend hopefully outside but, if not, then you will have to endure limited trainer time. as the days get longer and the weather improves in february/march change to more time on the bike. your cycling fitness will be fine and your attitude will be good.

also ask yourself why you ride? is it to compete and improve times, win races, stay healthy, dissipate stress, drink lots of beer, hang with your cycling friends?

bottom line, you are under huge stress so cut yourself some slack. find a program that you enjoy instead of one that you are a slave too. you will be better off once the real season rolls around.

also, not all seasons are the same. some years your job, your family, other projects take more of your time and energy and you cannot give your cycling as much as you would like. that's life. relish the time you have on the bike and don't worry that your 40k time was 2 minutes slower than the year before. in july, the birds will still be singing when you are on your favorite climb even if you are in your 25 instead of your 21.

[Len J]

I hear you loud and clear. There was a time so long ago when I was trying to live in the snowy north east and be in good enough race shape to race at a very high level. It was very hard. For the first few seasons I tried to ride my bike year round. A tough thing to effectively do in upstate NY. I became depressed and over-trained and frustrated.

Then a training partner taught me a very valuable lesson. He taught me to be an athlete first and a cyclist second. Be fit independent of the bike. We did so many different things during those down times when the weather shut us out. XC skiing, basketball, running bleachers, weights, snowshoeing....etc. Be an athlete that happens to ride a bike.

I don't know if your post above was simply a valuable blowing off of steam or if there was a question hidden in there. I apologize if there wasn't a question. If there was a question implied then I would say put the bike on a hook and go have fun getting your heart rate up in other ways. It's better for you and more fun and you'll be absolutely ready to load on the miles and the work when the roads dry out. Life's too short to ride in your house.

Sincerely,

Dave


I should remember to just shut up & listen! I should revise my post to....see Dave's post.

Great advice Dave.

Len

[Erik.Lazdins]

Obviously different things for different people... but for me it really helped to move the trainer and rollers out to the garage this year. Roll up the garage door and you're outside---but without the wind chill and such. So... warmer clothes to ride but nothing excessive. And de-layering means just a drop next to the trainer. Works well to below zero. Hours training have more than doubled over last year (although still not enough :rolleyes: ).

Shoveling snow around my car (which is now out in the drive) isn´t too much trouble.

Real sunlight while riding (south facing garage)... :banana:

I put my trainer on the back porch or the garage for this reason - You not outside but you AREN'T inside either.
Thats about the only way I can stomach getting on my trainer.

[Marco]

dibs on Dave Kirk for my pickup basketball team (or skiing buddy in the steep n deep).

[1centaur]

I'll take this from a few different angles:

First, trainer set-up (location, vista, temperature, fans, trainer type, noise issues). Tell us what yours is. I bet it can be improved and thus reduce the displeasure of being on a trainer.

Second, the goal. What exactly are you trying to do re: TTs. Set a numeric level or just ride one faster or even "fast enough"? Win something? Feel strong? Get compliments? Beat someone younger? The problem with TTs is that they are exercises is self abuse, inherently (as Merckx said, "start out so hard you feel like you're going to puke and then just keep it there"). They are necessary evils for some racers but the only type of races that some people can legitimately compete in for others.

Which brings up psychology/philosophy. You have said before you enjoy mashing more than spinning. Sounds like that's your natural strength, so TTs would be a natural extension of that strength. But if that extension (with its related training) ruins your pleasure, why do it at all? Your greatest cycling plus ruined so you can move a little further along the continuum of age-group TT results? Or is there something else driving this - self-testing (a la Mt. Washington), proving you still have discipline, achieving something difficult where the difficulty is the point rather than the achievement? That would be the problem I would guess, if I weren't just playing psychologist on TV. Young people like to test themselves for the sake of the test, but as one gets older (and more self tests are already in the log book) such "discipline" seems repetitive, dull and useless, yet there's a fear that letting go of that process is releasing youth to the past, agreeing to grow old. Throw that psychology into the midst of all your other stresses and it would not be surprising to see your mind rebel at the training. Yes it's an athlete's question of how much you want it, but you can't get away from why you want it in the first place.

Finally, the practical. TT success appears to be about living with continuous pain/threshold and having a heart that is well adapted to moving the blood around efficiently. I liked e-Richie's long hard walk through the woods suggestion because that is in the same vein as TT training but psychologically much more interesting. I would also say that Lance was hardly riding time trials all winter in Spain or Texas and was doing some time in the gym, so limiting TT efforts of any sort (even 20 minutes) to twice a week would seem to be enough, which would allow plenty of breaks for other training and, IMO, specifically for other sorts of Computrainer training (up Mt. Greylock, for example, or repeated sprint drills to pass the pacer (after catching his wheel) once a mile).

Be easier on yourself and TT training will be easier on you. Something different every day, focus on enjoying other aspects of your life so that TT training does not become the escape that does not feel that way. Above all, retain cycling as a pleasure, because that's so much more important than a better TT time.

BTW - I learned in this thread that a fellow forum member cycles in my town. I bet I've passed you many times on the roads of Boxford/Georgetown/Hamilton/Topsfield, etc.

[Marco]

This is my first winter (Twin Cities) of owning a trainer. I have had rollers for years and in past winters I would use them or do other, non-cycling activities through the cold months.

I have been very happy so far with the trainer and some Spinervals tapes. It allows me to go into my basement, alone, at 5 am when in it is dark and cold outside and get a great workout in (however defined) while being "led" through the paces with structure and music. I was very skeptical before I purchased the trainer and have been very satisfied for the last 60 days of use.

Just One Guys Experience

[david]

climb,

it's easy to be sympathetic, but hard to help.
i'll try anyway.
disclaimer: anything that i offer comes not from expertise (i have none!) but merely from personal experience with similar struggles.

1. make sure you have a clearly defined goal. maybe you do, but your post mentions a faster tt. which tt? how fast? compared to what?

2. is your goal realistic? you once had a goal of climbing mt washington in "1:15 or bust" if i remember correctly. i also remember the dissappointment in your ride reports from the two times you rode it in 1:50-ish.

dude, you're over 50 years old, you work your a** off in a highly stressful situation, and you didn't get as lucky in the gene pool as tom danielson did. 1:15? careful research would have told you roughly how many watts you would have to put out at your weight in order to do 1:15. if you knew your threshold, you could have given yourself a more realistic target and you might have left that mountain feeling a lot better, and a lot more motivated, than you did.

so get some sort of baseline measurement of what you're currently capable of doing - threshold, current tt time, etc. and talk to a coach or some of your more experienced riding buddies and ask them what they think is a realistic stretch goal for you.

3. make your goal public. tell people - your wife, your daughter, your friends at work, us. i find that i'm much more motivating (or obligated - hey, whatever it takes!) when i put myself out there.

4. have a plan. there are plenty of people on this board who are far more capable of helping you structure a plan than i am. but i do know the value of having a plan and knowing what you're doing and making adjustments when necessary. you mentioned real training versus riding. there really is a difference. but the more effort you put into your training the greater the chances of doing damage to yourself. the stress is greater and so too are the consequences of mis-steps that could lead to overtraining and even injuries. the tone of your post is a classic alarm bell.

6. if you live in an area where the weather interferes with your ability to train, then you're either going to have to find a way to deal with riding indoors or be prepared to adjust your goals and be okay with that. i used to hate riding a trainer until i got a computrainer. now i can ride for three hours indoors if i need to and i actually like it. but even better is the super-targeted and effective training you can do on a device like that. example, warm up for 10 to 15 minutes, 10 to 15 minutes of intervals, quick cool down. not bad for half an hour. i could never be that efficient on the road. takes me longer to warm up and it's hard to be as precise.

6. don't mislead yourself. be realistic about what kind of a cyclist you are. i, for one, am not an ex-pro. i'm not a gifted cyclist who could be ripping it up if it weren't for that damn weather messing with my training. i'm a 50 year-old father who works 60 hours a week and squeezes in 10 hours of riding a week, who used to race cat 3 25 years ago and who will not be mistaken for tom officer anytime soon. i'm not jerk, or e-ritchey or swoop or 11.4. i'm probably more like bbd or kevan. and i love and respect those guys as much as anybody on this board - we all do.
all i'm saying is make sure you're not holding yourself up to some sort of standard that's unrealistic and unnecessary. ride your bike in a way that makes you happy. that's what it's there for.

good luck. :beer:

[Oirad]

Mr. Climb,

I'm not a racer, never have been, never will be, but consider myself to be in good enough shape to go out and enjoy a good, long ride when I can. So, for what it is worth ...

Get off the rollers, etc... Instead hike (like e-richie says and, better yet, through snow), trail jog/run, dinosaur train. Do Crossfit, functional training. You got a gym membership? Learn to do Power Snatches, Cleans and Jerks, Pullups, Deadlifts, multiple joint and muscle movements. Once you learn, you'll never stop. When you get back on the bike, you'll be strong, not sport specific strong maybe, but enough to get back into riding shape quickly in time for your serious riding.

Doing other sports and learning new movements keep you fit and will make you a better athlete. And that can't be bad for your riding addiction.

-- Oirad

[flux]

PM Sent.

[pretty pony]

I love trainers and being inside on my bike. (no sarcasm, really.) I know that makes me a freak but there you go. Especially during hard efforts, when cross-eyed, I don't have to worry about some idiot in a land rover trying to kill me. However, outside is great too.

If I am off the bike for more than two days I get very cranky and my body feels like crap, so I take what I can get. Besides, I don't have to put on 1000 pieces of clothing and the shower is in the next room.

Motivation? No heart attacks when I turn 50. Period.

Bye!

[Oirad]

lifting a keg of beer and then drinking it with some buds?

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/2509/jonkegliftue5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Mr. Darren CT,

Do you increase the number of reps as the keg gets emptier?

-- Oirad

[Tom]

You're dealing with a lot. Training hard is another one. Be careful not to compound that stress by stressing out on how you're not training as hard as you want.

That e-Richie character, whoever the hell that is, seems to be pretty smart about this. He and a couple of other people said that you don't have to train specifically for what you're doing to do well at it later, just go out and have fun while being productive. I think you'll find it'll be easier to train harder later when your mind is clearing out now.

[DarrenCT]

i would never ride indoors - ever.

the fittest i have ever been as a cyclist when i could not
ride regularly outdoors in the cold weather was when i'd
go up to cockaponsett forest a mile out of town and just
walk - and walk - and walkmo atmo.

walking is under-rated. i lost weight. toned by body. got
the heartbeat upmo atmo. and got away from people. do
it, james. and walk alone. it's not a social activity, it's for
your headmo atmo.

ps

arrange disorder

:o :o :o
:o :o :o
;) :o :o

good call.

or hike which is ever more fun. im sure there is good hiking around u.

[DarrenCT]

Mr. Darren CT,

Do you increase the number of reps as the keg gets emptier?

-- Oirad

mr o,

you could try, however, you end up getting pretty wasted and it gets tricky.

should we do a case study?

[Ti Designs]

James,

I'm a jellyfish myself, no real will power of my own. If not for external forces I would have the sofa the fridge and the TV all in the same room which I would never leave. I borrow from the drive of others - and this does work!

When I came up to Boston for school I met another cyclist who knew I raced and we planned to meet for training rides every weekday morning at 6:00. I knew he was going to be there, and I hate facing the question "where were you this morning?" so I was always there at 5:59. Later on I started working with the Harvard womens team, also early in the morning. If I knew one of them was going to be out, I had to be there. Every season there was one rider who would always be out. One morning, when Lily's eyes were freezing shut I asked why she came out on such a cold morning, she said that she knew I was going to be out. Yes, it's a case of two idiots who don't know when to come in out of the cold, but we were training.

I'm starting base mileage very soon, that's simply 3+hours on the fixed gear, keeping it in zone 3 and avoiding hills where I can. There's two things you should have figured out from the above paragraph, 1) I'm an idiot. 2) If I say I'll be there, I'll be there. It doesn't much matter to me which direction I'm going in, time on the fixed gear is time on the fixed gear. If it gets your butt on the saddle and out the door, knowing someone else is waiting, all the better.

[jerk]

I love trainers and being inside on my bike. (no sarcasm, really.) I know that makes me a freak but there you go. Especially during hard efforts, when cross-eyed, I don't have to worry about some idiot in a land rover trying to kill me. However, outside is great too.

If I am off the bike for more than two days I get very cranky and my body feels like crap, so I take what I can get. Besides, I don't have to put on 1000 pieces of clothing and the shower is in the next room.

Motivation? No heart attacks when I turn 50. Period.

Bye!


ms. willy is not an idiot. she's a resident and just had a baby. did you see her new land rover?

jerk

[thejen12]

iso here's the deal: i can give myself, find for myself, a bunch of excuses for why real training just ain't happening so far. within this context of weather and work, maintaining fitness would be pretty easy. but building fitness, real training is hard. this is where i gotta be honest with myself and ask the most basic question an athlete can: how bad do i want it?

Even though I wasn't very good at racing, I loved it! Every time I thought about "how bad do I want it", the answer was "REAL BAD!" I loved the challenge, and always trying to do my best, the friends I made doing it, etc. I always wanted to do another race and try to improve on my previous experiences. Yet it was consuming my life, because I didn't naturally have any talent for it.

Finally one year I asked myself the right question: How bad do I want it compared with everything else that I want for my life?

How bad do I want it vs. having a relationship? vs. improving my home? vs. hiking with my dog? vs. riding for fun with my non-racing friends? vs. not waking up exhausted every morning? vs. Doing a good job at work, rather than struggling to stay awake at my desk? vs. just being able to relax on a weekend if I feel like it?

It's easy to say we want one thing "real bad", but life is not just about only one thing. There are lots of things I want "real bad". When I put some perspective on it, I realized that racing was not one of the ones at the top of the list, at least not that year. I put the racing aside and went on to accomplish some amazing things in other areas of my life that year.

Good luck answering your own questions!

Jenn

[Grant McLean]

There have been some great ideas put out there is this thread.

I'm printing it out, going on Oprah, and writing a book - :banana:

-g

[shinomaster]

Move to Portland. Or try speedskating..

[93legendti]

this has been a tough winter for me.

snow and cold came early and hard to boston. we almost broke the record for snow in december. work has been a b!tch. our biggest client has their annual sales meeting in mid-january, which means from thanksgiving through yesterday we were in constant insane mode (like having hours-long conference calls on both dec 26 and jan 1).

we're living in a rental house while our house in being 50% torn down, 100% gutted and renovated. we are only 3 months into the project and we are already behind schedule and over-budget. the excavators found a car-size piece of ledge where the new basement was supposed to go.

this spring and summer i want to do time-trials. so i'm trying to not just ride this winter but train. outside rides are a-ok. even when it's butt-freezing-cold and there is "some" ice or snow, i'm out. i freak mrs climb out sometimes with the days i'll ride go riding. it can be pretty dumb sometimes but even the worst ride outside is better than the best ride inside.

but what's getting hard is... i can't just ride, i gotta train. we had a week of 60 degree temps a week ago and that was awesome. real training outside. but before that and now again this past week, the snow and ice. training outside during the slim daylight hours that work made available was impossible.

i can't tell you how tough riding the trainer is for me. i just hate it. twice this past week i went to the gym instead and out of guilt, beat the cr@p out of my body with weights and core. so much so that i tweaked my back pretty good.

so here's the deal: i can give myself, find for myself, a bunch of excuses for why real training just ain't happening so far. within this context of weather and work, maintaining fitness would be pretty easy. but building fitness, real training is hard. this is where i gotta be honest with myself and ask the most basic question an athlete can: how bad do i want it?

being real honest with myself i gotta admit something: living in new england, riding the trainer hard in the winter is the only way to really train. the litany above can give me excuses for bailing. but being dead honest with myself, i think the only real answer for getting on the trainer or not is: how much do i really want to do a fast TT or not? i've been through this every which way in my mind a million times the past week and as real as some of the circumstances of my life are, they aren't excuses. i could use them as excuses. but whether or not i get on the trainer is really about desire. luckily i can ride outside today and tomorrow. cold but doable. come next week, i hope i know what i'll do. honesty is a b!tch. but it's also fascinating and simple and revealing about ourselves.

how much do you want it?
hey, thanks for listening. i just had to get this out.
Jim, I just did my 70 minutes in this:

Current conditions as of 12:53 pm EST
Mostly Cloudy
Feels Like: -5°
Barometer: 30.05 in and falling
Humidity: 55%
Visibility: 9 mi
Dewpoint: 1°
Wind: NW 18 mph
12°High: 13° Low: 5°

I had a blast.
Yesterday, I did 2 sessions on the trainer, 40 minutes each. I like each mode of training and usually time and commitments determine when and how I can ride. I was woken at 4:00 a.m. by my sick 5 year old--that's 6 out of the last 7 days. No matter, the roads were clear enough and the kids were at the Dr. with my wife. So I went out.

Here's my view: Every ride is part of my "training". If I can go hard, I do, if not, I go easier. I'll bet the pros who want to ride a good TdF are not kiiling themselves in January like a Classics hardman is. So take what nature and life gives you. Dave Kirk and Richard Sachs give good advice...walk and/or snowshoe if riding is not pure joy for you at this time. There's a 45 year old divorcee on the block who walks 3 times a day and it isn't huting her fitness. She's not race walking or doing intervals, but she is training.

My guess is you have too much stress in your life to train HARD right now and that any hard training could be counter-poductive at this time. Work, weather, home AND training stresses? That's way too much. You have no place or time to rest and relax. Our home has been remodeled three times - it is very stressful. If you can't control work, the weather and the remodeling, control your training. Go easy. Enjoy the ride.

[stevep]

if you can keep any extra weight off you dont need to train in the winter.
your goal is a local tt, right?
you can get up to speed for this in 4 weeks easy.

you arent going into the tour climb. you dont have to ride now unless you want to. just watch the weight. cut back on food if you hate the trainer.

listen to e-r. hike with heavy boots. walk a couple of laps around walden pond./
youll be spent.

[swoop]

if you can keep any extra weight off you dont need to train in the winter.
your goal is a local tt, right?
you can get up to speed for this in 4 weeks easy.

you arent going into the tour climb. you dont have to ride now unless you want to. just watch the weight. cut back on food if you hate the trainer.

listen to e-r. hike with heavy boots. walk a couple of laps around walden pond./
youll be spent.


this is true too. you're not prepping for stage races... its a tt. go lift weights and chase squirrels and crash yourself into shape. just don't get fat and do your core work. leg presses are like free dope.

the feeling you get on the podium .. feels good for about two minutes.. and then you just feel like an idiot.... it aint worth quality of life.. unless youre on the way to elite and just passing by.

last year my focus was being able to bridge up to breaks or solo the last few minutes of a crit.. so i just ran stairs a lot and .. it worked.
this year my focus is my hair coming back.
nothing is working. you win some you lose more!
:P

[SoCalSteve]

this is true too. you're not prepping for stage races... its a tt. go lift weights and chase squirrels and crash yourself into shape. just don't get fat and do your core work. leg presses are like free dope.

the feeling you get on the podium .. feels good for about two minutes.. and then you just feel like an idiot.... it aint worth quality of life.. unless youre on the way to elite and just passing by.

last year my focus was being able to bridge up to breaks or solo the last few minutes of a crit.. so i just ran stairs a lot and .. it worked.
this year my focus is my hair coming back.
nothing is working. you win some you lose more!
:P

Let me know if you figure this one out! I'm turning 50 in April and it seems like the eyesight went at 40 and the hair is going fast at 50...

Just askin'

Steve

[Ray]

you arent going into the tour climb. you dont have to ride now unless you want to. just watch the weight. cut back on food if you hate the trainer.

listen to e-r. hike with heavy boots. walk a couple of laps around walden pond./
youll be spent.
Yo Climb,

You know my mantra by now - don't worry, be happy, don't stress too much over cycling, keep it fun, etc. But you seem really really dedicated to quantified improvement, so go crazy. I know nothing about training, but it seems to me that with everything you have going on, pushing yourself too hard on the bike too will just feel like another obligation and you will burn out and resent it rather than improving from it. And the folks here who DO know about training are telling you that you don't need to do what you're trying to do to get where you want to get. So, I'd listen to 'em.

On a personal note, I'm encouraged to see E-R and Steve singing the praises of good walks. I've turned into a cold weather wimp for riding and have only ridden a handful of times this winter. I've run some, rowed some, played a bit of basketball, etc. And I do yoga pretty regularly. But the only thing other than yoga I've done a LOT of this winter is take my dog for some good hikes. I walk her every day for at least 20 minutes or so, but a few times a week I take her out to one of the big parks or publicly accessible conservation areas and go on on a good hilly hike for an hour or two, let her off the leash and just let her run herself silly. This never feels difficult to me, I never FEEL like I'm working out. I'm just having fun with my dog and enjoying being outdoors. But I feel really good in general and when I do something more strenuous, I don't feel near as out of shape as I expect to. And on the handful of bike rides I've done, I've felt as good or better than I have in past winters when I forced myself to go out and ride a lot. It's very strange and I didn't really trust it, but with E-R and Steve's endorsement, now I'm gonna embrace it and call it 'training'.

You seem to have their permission to do the same thing. From my wimp-a$$ perspective, it sounds like a good idea.

Good luck with the job, the remodel, and all of the other challenges life seems to be throwing at you this winter.

-Ray

[Oirad]

mr o,

you could try, however, you end up getting pretty wasted and it gets tricky.

should we do a case study?

Hmmm? Sounds like there is a full-fledge NSF grant opportunity in this one. Think of the possibilities: the keg workout!

On another fitness opportunity note, if we Americans got up and danced during the commercials as we watched TV, we'd be really fit.

Oirad

[cpg]

Climb,
Another thing I'd add is your "competion" is in the same boat you are. Unless of course you're looking to do time trials in So. Cal or Florida. Follow Pucci's advice. The key to it is to not take this whole thing too seriously. Most likely your opportunity to turn pro has been missed so why not enjoy yourself? The ultimate goal is to grow old riding your bike. Taking this too seriously will likely lead to burnout. The world is full of fat ex-Cat 2's that never ride their bikes. Avoid that outcome by enjoying yourself on and off the bike.

Curt

[pretty pony]

ms. willy is not an idiot. she's a resident and just had a baby. did you see her new land rover?

jerk

I could see putting a fist through that window....though, those tires do look awefully soft and comfortable. Perfect for being run over with.

I heart cars!

[davids]

i would never ride indoors - ever.

the fittest i have ever been as a cyclist when i could not
ride regularly outdoors in the cold weather was when i'd
go up to cockaponsett forest a mile out of town and just
walk - and walk - and walkmo atmo.

walking is under-rated. i lost weight. toned by body. got
the heartbeat upmo atmo. and got away from people. do
it, james. and walk alone. it's not a social activity, it's for
your headmo atmo.

ps

Iarrange disorder

:o :o :o
:o :o :o
;) :o :oYeah, but you can often do this 'walk in the woods' thing on a bike.

James, have you ever mountain biked?

You should try it - I had a great ride today, about 2 hours in Wompatuck State Park. The temp was a little below freezing, there were a few inches of snow over most of the trails, and I had a blast grinding and twisting over the landscape. Lots of steady efforts (e.g. crossing a snow-covered field) coupled with intervals/bursts (climbing the short, rocky inclines).

I find it fun, not merely tolerable, down to the low teens. And you can do it until there's 3-5" of snow on the ground, which means "usually" 'round our neck of the woods.

It's not anything like riding on the road, and it might not fit with a structured training plan, but it's a lot more pleasurable than what those guys on the road or on the rollers are enduring.

[shinomaster]

this is true too. you're not prepping for stage races... its a tt. go lift weights and chase squirrels and crash yourself into shape. just don't get fat and do your core work. leg presses are like free dope.

the feeling you get on the podium .. feels good for about two minutes.. and then you just feel like an idiot.... it aint worth quality of life.. unless youre on the way to elite and just passing by.

last year my focus was being able to bridge up to breaks or solo the last few minutes of a crit.. so i just ran stairs a lot and .. it worked.
this year my focus is my hair coming back.
nothing is working. you win some you lose more!
:P

What about your teabagging regimen? That gave you a sixpack right?

[stevep]

this year my focus is my hair coming back.


swoop,
i have this hair creme...
$1,200 a tube... you'll look like mott romney in 10 days..


( that look will require 1,400 tubes )
and afterward you'll be completely fos all the time instead of once in awhile.

[Grant McLean]

swoop,
i have this hair creme...
$1,200 a tube... you'll look like mott romney in 10 days..


( that look will require 1,400 tubes )
and afterward you'll be completely fos all the time instead of once in awhile.

I don't know, man. Homer got into all sorts to trouble when he had hair.

-g

[swoop]

What about your teabagging regimen? That gave you a sixpack right?


don't make me post shirtless.

[Bud_E]

i would never ride indoors - ever.

the fittest i have ever been as a cyclist when i could not
ride regularly outdoors in the cold weather was when i'd
go up to cockaponsett forest a mile out of town and just
walk - and walk - and walkmo atmo.

walking is under-rated. i lost weight. toned by body. got
the heartbeat upmo atmo. and got away from people. do
it, james. and walk alone. it's not a social activity, it's for
your headmo atmo.

ps

arrange disorder

:o :o :o
:o :o :o
;) :o :o

Nobody (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La0tT8UxVCI) walks in L.A. !

[Ginger]

Climb.

If I can do 70 minutes on a trainer today, YOU can do 70 minutes on a trainer today. Or an hour, or an hour and a half. Whatever. You don't have to lose 15 more pounds like I do...you did that before.

If you're stuck inside with limited time, pick a good workout that will provide some return for your time and do that.

Let's see if I can put this right. You only don't tolerate time on the trainer because you've let yourself hate it. Half of being able to spend time on the trainer is making a point not to hate the time you spend there.
Quit the hating, and the trainer time will just be mundane...

And I think that's part of your problem. Everything else has exciting BOOM, HUGE, NOW NOW NOW! And the trainer is just what you have to do to move to the next step. You're not fixing problems or helping others or putting miles behind you...you're just there by yourself.

Avoiding it may just be a way to cause yourself stress later in the season when you know you'd be doing better if you spent time on the trainer when you should have. Some people are very good at causing themselves stress in that manner.

Good luck Climb!

[93legendti]

Climb.

If I can do 70 minutes on a trainer today, YOU can do 70 minutes on a trainer today. Or an hour, or an hour and a half. Whatever. You don't have to lose 15 more pounds like I do...you did that before.

If you're stuck inside with limited time, pick a good workout that will provide some return for your time and do that.

Let's see if I can put this right. You only don't tolerate time on the trainer because you've let yourself hate it. Half of being able to spend time on the trainer is making a point not to hate the time you spend there.
Quit the hating, and the trainer time will just be mundane...

And I think that's part of your problem. Everything else has exciting BOOM, HUGE, NOW NOW NOW! And the trainer is just what you have to do to move to the next step. You're not fixing problems or helping others or putting miles behind you...you're just there by yourself.

Avoiding it may just be a way to cause yourself stress later in the season when you know you'd be doing better if you spent time on the trainer when you should have. Some people are very good at causing themselves stress in that manner.

Good luck Climb!
Ginger is very smart.

I have a music dvd and a tour tape loaded in the TV's dvd/tape player in my workout room. I have a huge fan I point at my head and chest. Without them the trainer time would be harder to tolerate. I prefer biking in the Dolomites, but I do not hate the trainer.

[capybaras]

1. print out this thread
2. cut apart each suggestion
3. fold them up and put them in a bucket
4. pull one out and there is your plan

P.S. I like the ones where you skip riding in the trainer in the winter because if you hate doing it you should be kind to yourself.

P.P.S. Try to get more sunlight in the winter - they have lamps you can buy if you can't get outside for the real stuff

[keno]

particularly when some other fools are in the room doing the same workout I am doing. Nothing like a training partner or two to change the whole experience.

As a matter of fact, I'm off to TTown Fitness Center for a session at noon today with a coach and another fool or two. If we can talk between efforts, we make fun of each other, and particularly of the coach. I will be home in time for the Pats/Chargers. While it's in my mind, I wonder how hard those fellas, the footballers, train in the off season and what they do - mostly not football I'm pretty sure, and their jobs are on the line. There's being in shape and being in event specific shape.

keno

[Too Tall]

Great thread James. You have a bunch of pals. :) I've always loathed the trainer / rollers as proxy for the real thing. When given the choice between frostbite or maybe NO workout I've always managed to at least get on the trainer long enough to do a decent intervals or two. Simple intensity is supremely effective on a budget.

[David Kirk]

So now that so much has been said and so many ideas put out there I wonder how you feel about it Climbo.

Put a cherry on this thing with your thoughts if you don't mind. I need closure.

Dave

[Lifelover]

I have but one rule that governs my cycling:

If it's not fun than don't do it!

I'll never win a race or even be able to hang with the Racer Boys, but I will be smiling.


And another thing:

I assume your OP was not looking towards getting any pity but I have to say that I don't feel for you in any way, shape or form.

You have chosen a career that sounds high stress, you have chosen to go through a home remodel and you have chosen to set your sights high in regards to your riding.

Either do it or don't!

[e-RICHIE]

i did about 80k today in 25-30 degree weather
and was never so happy to get home to my
dell and warm home. i ate for an hour before
i even took my clothes offmo atmo. walking
mighta' been the right call today, but at least
i gots a good ride in the bankmo atmo.




ps
arrange disorder
:D :D :D
:D :D :D
;) :D :D

[TMB]

I looked at the trainer

then went outside

Glad I did. The sun was shining and I got my first "woops" of the year out of the way.

If I'm going down, headfirst into a snowbank is the way to do it.

I have tomorrow to ride the trainer again

[capybaras]

Climb,
Please tell us you are feeling better. If cycling is something that stresses you instead of being fun, hope you have some hobby that is no pressure and just fun to do.

[Viper]

1. print out this thread
2. cut apart each suggestion
3. fold them up and put them in a bucket
4. pull one out and there is your plan


Can we make # 3 above a basket? It's just ya know, the whole basket thing. You could add lotion if you wantmo.

[capybaras]

Can we make # 3 above a basket? It's just ya know, the whole basket thing. You could add lotion if you wantmo.

I don't like serial killer stuff - even if it is made up. And anyone with a clean house, car, or bike should have a bucket handy.

[chrisroph]

i did 1 hr classic and 1.25 hr skate ski. ate a powrbar, croissant and chicken in the car and bag of chips back home with a sierra nevada. i'm almost ready for dinner.

[capybaras]

i did 1 hr classic and 1.25 hr skate ski. ate a powrbar, croissant and chicken in the car and bag of chips back home with a sierra nevada. i'm almost ready for dinner.

Nice work. Everyone loves a good eater.

[DarrenCT]

i did 1 hr classic and 1.25 hr skate ski. ate a powrbar, croissant and chicken in the car and bag of chips back home with a sierra nevada. i'm almost ready for dinner.

sierra celebration???

[rwsaunders]

Climb..I've been logging minimal road time and maximum treadmill time due to the weather. I miss the cycling terribly, but I feel good after getting any quality exercise in at my age.

I was at my middle kid's bb game this afternoon and the attendance was pretty good, given that the high was 4 today. Just when I was complaining about the temps, through the door rolls my accountant, all wrapped in a couple of blankets. He came to watch his nephew play.

What makes this significant is that Kevin is a wheelchair bound paraplegic...45 years old; tragic diving accident at 19. He went on to complete his undergrad in accounting, received his CPA and went on for his MBA. He had a van modified so that he can drive and he moved to his own place so that he wouldn't be a burden to his parents. It would be hard for me to switch accountants, given what I know about his dedication, hard work and attitude toward life.

Sounds like you're an athlete and a competitor, so the need to go all out is there. Enjoy the change of seasons and plan your Spring training. The pros do it too, you know. Take the time and put things in perspective, too.

You might like this article:

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1704887,00.html?cnn=yes

[andy mac]

i am learning in life you can nearly have anything you want just not everything.

that's a long list you have...


:beer: :beer:

[chrisroph]

sierra celebration???

pale ale, celebration with dinner.

[sn69]

After competing in Team RAAM for two years, I've found my motivation lacking. Sorely so. Still, given my filthy, undisciplined inner triathlete daemon, and given my irrational desire to get insulted by the Jerk, I find that a tri bike might be in my near future as a means to get back out there more frequently.

Aside from that, I did manage to finally build the Marcelo I bought from a forum-pal. It really is "all that," but the short days of winter suck the motivation right out of a feller, dontchaknow.

It'll pass, dude. It always does as spring comes knocking, the flowers bloom and the days grow longer.

[ti_boi]

Just when you think you are being completely open.....and honest....life throws you a curve ball --shows you another layer....and the whole game starts again.

[Climb01742]

everyone:

wow.

on many levels, this place is amazing. a deep and sincere thank you to everyone. i genuinely appreciate the time folks spent replying and your insights and suggestions.

i do have demons. my motivations for doing what i try to do are tied up with some deep personal shiite, no doubt. i try to understand it and do my best to recognize it and deal with it in a healthier way. i ain't there yet but trying. proving you're a worthwhile human being is a struggle sometimes for me.

i've taken some of your suggestions to heart. i made an appointment with a pilates teacher to begin classes. in a nice warm studio! i've run since i was 12 and my body is pretty maxed out running-wise, so a wiser alternative training route is the gym and hopefully pilates.

this winter, i do have a cycling coach and we do have a plan. and i am trying to approach doing TTs more intelligently than i did mt washington. to that end, last summer i went to see max testa for testing. he did the full monty of performance testing and based on body numbers and test data he said that i was surprisingly well suited for TTs.

a quick bit of history here:

in high school, i played football at 120 pounds.
in high school, i ran the 100 and 220 in track with not quite enough fast twitch fibers.
after college, i did 10ks, 100+ mile running weeks and triathlons with way too many fast twitch fibers.
i did ok but i always felt i was pushing my body toward something it wasn't quite suited for. it was still fun but just a little out of synch.

while doing my MW training, i discovered the 20 minute big ring interval and something clicked. it just felt right. then max's numbers hinted that maybe that kind of effort was more in-synch with my body. as an athlete, to finally find something that feels right is cool.

then add this: business is compromise. and maybe more than most, advertising is really about compromise. we fight the good fight but the end product is rarely about excellence. excellence and a lack of compromise just matter to me. on my bike is where i try to find that. the daily quest and commitment to that is, i admit, a double edge sword. it brings stress but it brings joy and worth, too.

i want to see what i can do in TTs. with a coach, a plan, and a power tap i think i'm going about it more wisely than i've done things in the past.

balance is tricky. i know i need it but i also feel that sometimes you achieve more being a bit unbalanced. for me, the trickiest balance is between happiness and achievement. i want/need both.

maybe for january and feb, doing 4 days on the bike and 2 gym days and 1 pilates day makes sense. then shift things as the weather improves. and view time on the trainer as not just physical training but use it to steel my mind to the rigors of doing a TT.

again, sincerely and truly, thank you everyone. thanks for showing me the love, especially of the tough variety.

[swoop]

max testa is an amazing coach.... but i have seen his programs burn out (normal) folks. so... handle with care. if your goal is to race at an elite level or to race masters worlds, or even nats....it all makes sense... testa is top notch... but you will be consumed by it.

and i am telling you... doing well is only a big deal until you actually do well... and the its sort of like.. ok.. so what. take this year and find out...

part of this involves commiting so much to find out you don't really have it compared to folks that do. its a lot to do to gain two existentially meaningless minutes on a climb.... compared to the elites that still put 6 minutes into you.

unless the process itself is fun for you.
if you're doing testa.. do his program to the letter and nothing else. keep an eye out for depression...

enjoy it.....

[Climb01742]

i hear ya, swoop. max did all the tests, then gave me a training plan... which, as you say, is amazing and killer and beyond what i am both physically and mentally capable of sustaining. i've found a coach who is more in-synch with my abilities and life and time commitments.

max was amazing. and soooooooooo nice. but damn, the boy's workouts were insane. no wonder levi is fast. and has no hair. :banana:

[Karin Kirk]

Interesting points, swoop, and I agree!

I have met only a handful elite level athletes, but I have noticed anecdotally that many seem to have one thing in common, which is a warped sense of reality and motivation. There are some seriously demonic forms of motivation in some of these folks - which may shed some light on how they can routinely turn themselves inside out and push themselves way beyond what a "normal" person can.

Once I realized that, I was perfectly happy to give up on my own aspirations to reach that level! :rolleyes:

One of the PSIA ski training videos makes an excellent point about enjoying the process of climbing the ladder of ski certification. This hints at the underlying idea of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and I think it's wonderful advice. It's easier said than done though, because I think for some people they can't easily decouple what's driving them so hard.

[stevep]

i thk elite athletes are not us ( speaking fr myself certainly ).

we are the equivalent of playing touch football on the beach compared to playing real football at lambeau field in january.

not even a little alike.

throw a business, family, house in there..
try to get a little faster and hope for that... but enjoy the experience.

its supposed to be fun.

[djg]

everyone:

i do have demons. my motivations for doing what i try to do are tied up with some deep personal shiite, no doubt. i try to understand it and do my best to recognize it and deal with it in a healthier way. i ain't there yet but trying. proving you're a worthwhile human being is a struggle sometimes for me.



Climb man, take it easy on yourself. We all have issues and some of us struggle harder and more often than others. But proving yourself a worthwhile person is a tough demonstration and, whatever it is, hasn't a darn thing to do with improving your TT times. Let's put it this way, having the developed athletic ability to place fifth in a TdF TT up le Mont Ventoux is having a shocking level of ability, and delivering on those goods requires a brutal effort and ... and so the heck what? It's not much for the annals of the sport really, much less a cure for cancer or, say, doing a tolerably good job raising a kid to be a decent person.

I mean, go ahead and work on your times -- it's cool to try to find the discipline and see what you can do, if that's what you want, but really ...

[AgilisMerlin]

nice topic

i personally need about two months on the road, also, to where i am feeling very good. This tends to include having my head kicked in often. Don't underestimate the power of resting.

The group up here is large and varying. Riding at different levels during the year allows me to get to know a whole lot of people. I tend to walk my dog alot - on the ocean and at night..........in jan and feb.

Good luck climb :beer:

[david]

part of this involves commiting so much to find out you don't really have it compared to folks that do.

exactly. which can be the most liberating thing that can happen.

training like a pro makes sense if you're a pro - or have what it takes to become one.

the revenge of the mediocre is that we get to sleep in sometimes. :)