Sandy
12-22-2007, 02:40 PM
I posted a thread recently about spouse versus pet afffection/ love and received a remarkable amount of negative responses. First, I will give you the precise origin of the question and then a few comments concerning such.
1. The question was my wife's question and not mine. That was stated in the thread several times.
2. The question was based upon what she saw on the game show-Family Feud, in which, as my wife remembers, the following question was asked- " What is more important to a husband than his wife?" Answers given were- car, pet/dog, video games, computer. As I am interested in adopting a dog and she has reservations, she asked the question which I posted on the forum.
Most of you don't really know me very well. You know my wife even less. She is a caring, loving, affectionate, warm, gentle, and kind woman. She does not know how to treat a person badly. It is not her nature. Her name is Tova in Hebrew, which means good, and that is precisely what she is.
The question which was posed had absolutley nothing to do with fires or water or ladders or....It was a question which simply was given relative to affection/love for a pet versus a spouse- both a female and a male spouse.
Somehow the question brought great negativity and I was labeled as one who thinks of a female spouse as dogs are considered, as possessions. That is so remarkably far from the truth. I love my wife and clearly, as all of you who read the forum often must know, I do not consider a dog/pet a possession, no matter the legal reality. But although few of you really know me (Smiley does), many took the opportunity to ridicule, make fun of, and chastise me when in fact you had and have no idea of how I think on the subject. The fact that the question was not even mine, and I stated that, made no difference. I have no pet. I have not had one in 30 years and I didn't even vote in the poll.
My thread became the playground of a clique/group (not in totality of course) that thinks it is fine to belittle and make fun of people. It was their play place and one even basically said so. It was fun for him.
After at least 126 posts on the initial thread, a second thread was started, for some reason, about the first thread. For what possible purpose?
Somehow a question in the thread asking "which would you rather eat Sandy's dog or his wife" received no comments except for the very next post- "jessica simpson,atmo". How many married males here would allow that to be said relative to your wife (the former post)? When I stated that I found the former post offensive, I was chastised. The person who said it would not say that to me directly, I assume, but that is the power of the internet. Enjoy yourself and be insensitive at the expense of others.
I am no longer willing to be part of the play space that exists within the forum. I have no problem with criticism and joking. I can accept that. But I feel that it has progressed within the forum beyond the point of acceptability, at least from my perspective.
I have made many friends here, some of whom I have never met, and have gainded a tremendous amount personally by participating. Clearly, I beat to a different drummer than some here. I am no longer, at least now, comfortable being here.
Post whatever some of you want to post- obviously. I will not read any comments in this thread.
Sandy
1. The question was my wife's question and not mine. That was stated in the thread several times.
2. The question was based upon what she saw on the game show-Family Feud, in which, as my wife remembers, the following question was asked- " What is more important to a husband than his wife?" Answers given were- car, pet/dog, video games, computer. As I am interested in adopting a dog and she has reservations, she asked the question which I posted on the forum.
Most of you don't really know me very well. You know my wife even less. She is a caring, loving, affectionate, warm, gentle, and kind woman. She does not know how to treat a person badly. It is not her nature. Her name is Tova in Hebrew, which means good, and that is precisely what she is.
The question which was posed had absolutley nothing to do with fires or water or ladders or....It was a question which simply was given relative to affection/love for a pet versus a spouse- both a female and a male spouse.
Somehow the question brought great negativity and I was labeled as one who thinks of a female spouse as dogs are considered, as possessions. That is so remarkably far from the truth. I love my wife and clearly, as all of you who read the forum often must know, I do not consider a dog/pet a possession, no matter the legal reality. But although few of you really know me (Smiley does), many took the opportunity to ridicule, make fun of, and chastise me when in fact you had and have no idea of how I think on the subject. The fact that the question was not even mine, and I stated that, made no difference. I have no pet. I have not had one in 30 years and I didn't even vote in the poll.
My thread became the playground of a clique/group (not in totality of course) that thinks it is fine to belittle and make fun of people. It was their play place and one even basically said so. It was fun for him.
After at least 126 posts on the initial thread, a second thread was started, for some reason, about the first thread. For what possible purpose?
Somehow a question in the thread asking "which would you rather eat Sandy's dog or his wife" received no comments except for the very next post- "jessica simpson,atmo". How many married males here would allow that to be said relative to your wife (the former post)? When I stated that I found the former post offensive, I was chastised. The person who said it would not say that to me directly, I assume, but that is the power of the internet. Enjoy yourself and be insensitive at the expense of others.
I am no longer willing to be part of the play space that exists within the forum. I have no problem with criticism and joking. I can accept that. But I feel that it has progressed within the forum beyond the point of acceptability, at least from my perspective.
I have made many friends here, some of whom I have never met, and have gainded a tremendous amount personally by participating. Clearly, I beat to a different drummer than some here. I am no longer, at least now, comfortable being here.
Post whatever some of you want to post- obviously. I will not read any comments in this thread.
Sandy