OT- A Dog

[Sandy]

One husband.
One wife.
Husband wants one particular dog.
Wife doesn't want any dog, ever.
A real problem.
Solution????


Solution Searching Sad Sandy

[RPS]

Does this particular dog happen to be a Pit Bull? :rolleyes:

[Len J]

One husband.
One wife.
Husband wants one particular dog.
Wife doesn't want any dog, ever.
A real problem.
Solution????


Solution Searching Sad Sandy

2 Parties in a house.......
must have unanimity to bring in a new member of the house.

Simple really.

Len

[Sandy]

Does this particular dog happen to be a Pit Bull? :rolleyes:

Yes, it is. How did you know? :) It is not a breed that would be a wise choice for her, but she wants no dog. I was not looking to adopt a dog now, but we bonded and trust each other and he needs a caring and sensitive "owner". He has been at the shelter since April.

Sandy

[Viper]

It's 'man's better half' or 'man's best friend'.

Tough call. :D

[Sandy]

2 Parties in a house.......
must have unanimity to bring in a new member of the house.

Simple really.

Len

Very hard to argue with that logic. One could say (and some have said) that I have not had a dog for 25 years of marriage and now it is my turn. But again, I understand your logic. Simple, but quite reasonable and strong. Thanks for the post.

sandy

[RPS]

Yes, it is. How did you know? :)
SandyI read minds in my spare time.
Once they get under your skin it's hard to let go.
I was the one that didn't want him but my wife won out.
Now I can say that Bailey is the best dog I've had.
And he's mine, not hers. Go figure. ;)

[Sandy]

I read minds in my spare time.
Once they get under your skin it's hard to let go.
I was the one that didn't want him but my wife won out.
Now I can say that Bailey is the best dog I've had.
And he's mine, not hers. Go figure. ;)

When my brother and I were going to have our Bar Mitzvah, our mother asked us we might want for a present. We said that we wanted a German Shepherd Dog. She was not a real dog person, but she got us one. She loved that dog and took care of him when we went to college. I will always remember her at the phone crying when the she was told us that it was time to euthanize the dog. I can't remember seeing my mother ever cry other than then, but I am sure that she did. Interestingly, his name was King, and the dog I have bonded with is also named King. The first King was an amazingly wonderful dog.

Sandy

[Sandy]

It's 'man's better half' or 'man's best friend'.

Tough call. :D

Very well said!



Sandy

[3chordwonder]

Difficult problem, especially since experience tells us that the resisting party often ends up incredibly attached to the pet in question, and pleased in hindsight that they didn't get their way.

Happened with my family and my partner. In both cases there was a lot of resistance to the concept of having a cat. Now both are inseparable from their buddies (one becoming plural very quickly).

Admittedly things may be even harder with a pit bull due to the bad press around the breed. On the other hand, I've seen a once mistreated, antisocial and aggressive Rottweiler turned into a beautiful happy dog by the retired couple who adopted him, against all advice and dire predictions. Maybe if you could show your wife a success story like that she would be more amenable?

Marriage is about give and take. You've given 25 years and the dog won't live to half that time, so you'd still be behind on the 'take' part.

[malcolm]

Len J is a wise man.

[1centaur]

In a vacuum, the answer is, "wife wins" because she is more important than your feelings for a dog.

Beyond that, there are other issues. We don't know why she does not want a dog, so we don't know if the case is arguable. Some of this may have to do with her relationship with you and so be beyond what we should be discussing in a forum. She's probably afraid of something, and it may not be a pit bull, per se. It may be something she does not articulate well or has not defined for herself. Some fears can be rationalized away and some cannot.

Beyond this one case there are two peripheral issues that are important: it's easy to bond with a dog, so if not this one then there may be others, and how would you feel if the dog was adopted by a family you thought was excellent for it? If your real concern is the welfare of the dog, then is there a way to put your energy into finding that right family? If your real issue is that you want to live with a dog, then it's back to the issues we perhaps should not be discussing.

[Ray]

Sandy,

I have to agree with many of the other posts that you need a united front before you add a member to your household. It doesn't have to be 100% all in, but if she's not at least reasonably ok with the idea, you can't do it. We've added two members to our household without unanimity and one was an unmitigated disaster - painful for all involved beyond description and it didn't do the kid (our nephew) any good either, in retrospect. And nearly tore our family apart. On the other hand, our cockapoo has been an unmitigated joy, almost every day that we've had her. I never wanted a dog (but I was open enough to the idea that I did agree to it) and now I can't imagine life without her. So, you live and you learn.

But this thread really took me by surprise. Because from all of the years of seeing your posts on this forum and from the couple of rides that we've been on together (where I've seen you react to and interact with dogs in yards we rode by), I know how REALLY important dogs are to you. Some people are dog people. Some people are not dog people. You are most definitely a dog person. So I always assumed, obviously wrongly, that you and Gloria had dogs. Or A dog, at least. And I'm stunned that you don't. So this is a really big and tough conflict for you to deal with. Being torn between a beloved wife and something you want SOOOOO badly. Does Gloria KNOW how much this means to you? Is there a way to compromise so that the dog remains an outside dog with a fenced yard? If her concern is for her personal safety and/or the tidiness of the house, perhaps this would make a difference? And, you've had dogs before, so you probably will know the answer to this, but if you haven't had one in a while, are you SURE you're up for the day to day responsibilities having a dog entails?

I have no solution to recommend here, my friend, but it sounds like you two need to REALLY talk this out if it means as much to you as I think it does. Maybe a compromise can be reached. Maybe it can't. But you owe it to yourself to really find out, if you haven't already. I'm guessing you've already really explored it and this advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, but if you've left any stone unturned...

-Ray

[djg]

2 Parties in a house.......
must have unanimity to bring in a new member of the house.

Simple really.

Len

It's an unhappy situation, but I think it really is this simple. I'm really glad for our own dogs, but your wife has to agree or it's no good.

That doesn't mean that negotiations have to end in an instant, or a day, or a week. Can she visit the dog with you? Are there ways to seek common ground? In the end, you might not be able to work this out, but I wouldn't give up right away just because Len is right.

[paczki]

How about you put that 70 minutes a day to good use and settle this with a time trial? Winner decides the dog policy. :bike: :banana:

[Sandy]

Difficult problem, especially since experience tells us that the resisting party often ends up incredibly attached to the pet in question, and pleased in hindsight that they didn't get their way.

Happened with my family and my partner. In both cases there was a lot of resistance to the concept of having a cat. Now both are inseparable from their buddies (one becoming plural very quickly).

Admittedly things may be even harder with a pit bull due to the bad press around the breed. On the other hand, I've seen a once mistreated, antisocial and aggressive Rottweiler turned into a beautiful happy dog by the retired couple who adopted him, against all advice and dire predictions. Maybe if you could show your wife a success story like that she would be more amenable?

Marriage is about give and take. You've given 25 years and the dog won't live to half that time, so you'd still be behind on the 'take' part.

One never knows how a pet would work out. The 25 years without a dog and it is my turn to have a dog arguement has not worked.


Sandy

[Sandy]

Len J is a wise man.

Yes he is. I cannot refute his logic. He also is quite knowledgeable about dogs.


Sandy

[Dave B]

Sand-man,

I would guess that if Gloria ever had to take King for a walk, or other forms of psuedo control that the dog might be able to over power G. Seeing how G is recovering (and hopefully well) she might not be able to restrain the dog.

Also with regards to King, besides people's opins here, you have the stupid Mike Vick issue reinforcing people's ideas of what Pitbulls are for.

Obviously you want King to be happy, that is right on, but if you were to take him home and then be unable to keep him, I would think the experience would harm everyone.

While it is not ideal, could you simply visit him often and share some of that enormous love you have for him possibly on a daily basis?

Maybe owning king isn't possible, but it doesn't mean you cannot act like it.

then again i could be wrong.

[Too Tall]

Buy another house.

When your wife objects, negotiate.

[Climb01742]

as has been said, marriage is a give and take. but that doesn't mean that every decision has to be mutual. sometimes, when the dissenting half realizes how important it is to the assenting half, a "sacrifice" is made. personally, i'd do two things: really really talk with gloria about why she feels the way she does and see if there is some underlying issue that can be addressed or resolved, thus paving the way for king to come home, and (or even, if necessary, but) push for your desire. sandy, please excuse me if this is peanut-gallery analysis but... you seem to have spent a good part of your life, like with the family meat business, trying to please others and putting your wishes second. within reason, put your wishes first. pushing for what you truly want, in an open honest way, isn't always being selfish. it's one route to happiness. love should be able to accommodate that.

[Sandy]

In a vacuum, the answer is, "wife wins" because she is more important than your feelings for a dog.

Beyond that, there are other issues. We don't know why she does not want a dog, so we don't know if the case is arguable. Some of this may have to do with her relationship with you and so be beyond what we should be discussing in a forum. She's probably afraid of something, and it may not be a pit bull, per se. It may be something she does not articulate well or has not defined for herself. Some fears can be rationalized away and some cannot.

Beyond this one case there are two peripheral issues that are important: it's easy to bond with a dog, so if not this one then there may be others, and how would you feel if the dog was adopted by a family you thought was excellent for it? If your real concern is the welfare of the dog, then is there a way to put your energy into finding that right family? If your real issue is that you want to live with a dog, then it's back to the issues we perhaps should not be discussing.

She does have certain fears about having a dog, but they are not related to the breed of the dog. I used to walk a bunch of dogs at the other shelter in the county until I started having energy/fatigue problems. I always took the pit bulls out first as they were often not walked simply as a function of the large number of them, some volunteers would not walk them or could not really handle them, and they tended to stay longer at the shelter becasue they were pits. Sometimes after closing hours, I would be out with a pit bull off leash, in the walking area. My wife would come by to visit me. A loose pit could run by her and whe would have no fear as she figured I was there and I could take care of a situation that might occurred (probably not true). She really didn't think about being afraid.

One problem is that the dog has bonded with me and I have bonded with the dog. I know the dog better than anyone at the shelter. He has certain needs. I want him to have a happy home and I wonder about the motivation of those who seek a pit bull as a pet. Often the motivation is not best or even good for the dog. I was not looking to adopt a dog, any dog. I really care about him and what his future life will be. He can be a remarkably driven and focused dog when he sees a squirell and wants to get to it. But he has a real soft and gentle manner too, as when he snuggles real close to me, places his head on my lap or legs, relaxes, sighs, and relaxes some more, after trying to lick my face off.


Sandy

[Sandy]

How about you put that 70 minutes a day to good use and settle this with a time trial? Winner decides the dog policy. :bike: :banana:

No way. She already agreed to that. She is a world class motorcycle racer....not really.... :) :)


Snail Slow Sandy

[Ginger]

One never knows how a pet would work out. The 25 years without a dog and it is my turn to have a dog arguement has not worked.


Sandy
Sandy my friend,

I was only married a short time, but from what I can remember, there were no "turns."

Argue all you want, but only you know if you chose a person over 25 years ago who has no interest and probably never had any interest in having a pet of any sort. If that's the case, it's not a "fault" in that person's character now when it wasn't before, it's just how it is. Other than arguing about a dog, have you had an open and honest (not badgering) discussion about her feelings about pets? Not just whether you can have one or not?

I really don't think it matters what 'sort' of dog it is. I think you yourself are really stuck on that part of the equation and all that concern isn't doing your argument for bringing that pup into the family any good at all.

Gloria's position may however matter what sort of pet it is or what size of dog it is.

And you know...she may be concerned, just a touch, that once you have one dog, you'll want to bring more home...and if she's not much of a dog person, considering your kind and caring nature, that's a legitimate concern. Rather than continuing the battle it's easier to just say NO to the first one.

Good luck Sandy!

Ginger

[Sandy]

Sandy my friend,

I was only married a short time, but from what I can remember, there were no "turns."

Argue all you want, but only you know if you chose a person over 25 years ago who has no interest and probably never had any interest in having a pet of any sort. If that's the case, it's not a "fault" in that person's character now when it wasn't before, it's just how it is. Other than arguing about a dog, have you had an open and honest (not badgering) discussion about her feelings about pets? Not just whether you can have one or not?

I really don't think it matters what 'sort' of dog it is. I think you yourself are really stuck on that part of the equation and all that concern isn't doing your argument for bringing that pup into the family any good at all.

Gloria's position may however matter what sort of pet it is or what size of dog it is.

And you know...she may be concerned, just a touch, that once you have one dog, you'll want to bring more home...and if she's not much of a dog person, considering your kind and caring nature, that's a legitimate concern. Rather than continuing the battle it's easier to just say NO to the first one.

Good luck Sandy!

Ginger

The breed is insignificant to her, although she does worry that a pit might chew up parts of the house. We have had 3 dogs visiting our house over the years. My daughter's lab/retriever mix (once for 6 months- suppose to be 2 weeks), a chihuahua, and a yorkshire terrier. the dogs were remarkably wonderful in the house with no problems whatsoever. They were model citizens. The lab turned into a hunter stalker when outside and no way could Gloria handle him. The pit is very calm inside his cage (unles he sees someone he does not know), but is amazingly focused on squirrels if he sees one. It would be a problem I would have to work on. His confidence has improved but he is difficult to handle once he becomes obssessed with a little critter. That would probably be my biggest initial problem with him other than my brother-in-law's fear of a pit. I would walk the dog 100 % of the time. Gloria could not handle him presently on a walk. She could not handle the lab.I would take him to obedience training early on. He has improved greatly on a leash and learns very quickly and is quite smart. However, he seems to be hard wired to chase squirrels. It is a sight to see his remarkable focus.




A smaller breed would be much better for Gloria, but she doesn't want any dog, no matter the breed.


Sandy

[JohnS]

Does your brother in law live with you? If so, I wouldn't really put him into the equation. You're doing him a favor by letting him live with you. You shouldn't have to restructure your life because it offends a houseguest.

[Sandy]

Does your brother in law live with you? If so, I wouldn't really put him into the equation. You're doing him a favor by letting him live with you. You shouldn't have to restructure your life because it offends a houseguest.

Excellent Point. My brother-in-law does live with my wife and me. He is a kind and caring person, but I cannot allow his thinking to be involved in our decision making. The problem is that dog will be able to read his fear and would react to that. I would envision King growing at him initially. He would become affectionate to him if my bother-in-law approached him reasonably because that is King's nature, but that might not happen. He could be ignored by the dog as my daughter's lab did, or there could be real tension between them, which would not be good for my brother-in-law, the dog, and even my wife and I. Tension between any dog and a person is not good, especilly a pit, I would think. Potentially, an easily solved problem. Potentially a genuinely difficult one.


Sandy

[Ginger]

Sandy. You need time with a real dog trainer. Not just someone who teaches obedience class (some of those are real dog trainers, some of those are just good at teaching obedience)
If you get the dog, Gloria needs to go to the trainer too. The way I see it, obedience class is not about teaching the dog, it's about teaching the owner how to direct the dog so the dog knows what the owner wants. Giving everyone a mode of communication. Dog training is about teaching the dog. The dog can be taught to ignore squirrels.
Unless you are always the master and what you say goes, squirrel or no squirrel? You're not ready for that sort of dog. What if he has the same issues with small children? You can't wait to see what issue comes up next and deal with it on a "after the fact" manner. I'm not referring to the breed itself here, I'm talking about any dog. You're either in control, or you're not.

Ginger, who lives in a black and white world when it comes to dogs.

[ericspin]

Maybe I missed this but how old is he?

Obsessed on squirrels.........remember this dog has some TERRORIOR in him and lemme tell ya about living with terriers. As you know from all your dog knowledge they are very PERSISTENT.

I am saddened by this issue of yours. Being such a dog person myself I cannot imagine not _being able_ to have one in my life. I am in the _give and take_ camp. 25 years is long enough.

Good luck!!

Eric

[znfdl]

Wht not try a weekend or a day bonding session?

If it works great, if not everyone at least tried.......

[Dave B]

Sandy my friend,

I was only married a short time, but from what I can remember, there were no "turns."

Ginger


What!

Did I miss that memo!

Ahhh crap! :crap:

[Bruce K]

Sandy;

While you are probably WAY more knowledgable about dogs than I, here's my take on this particular situation.

1. No matter how much training you, Gloria, and the dog go through, she will never be able to control him if a situation devlops that takes him out of his normal behavior. A pit is just to powerful for Gloria.

2. The fact that your brother-in-law and the dog may have issues could easily lead to one of those headlines we read about when people think of pits. You know very well that dogs stay well behaved because the people around them maintain control and if a dog perceives fear or discomfort, that control is usually lost.

3. You will not only have to get Gloria to agree to some form of dog before bringing one into the house, but you will have to get a dog that your brother-in-law is somewhat comfortable with being around. You have made a commitment to allow him to live with you and now he is part (however small you may choose to make him) of the equation when it comes to a dog.

I feel for you. I am a dog person first, but I also know that the amount of care and time involved generally only works well if at least partially shared in a family.

I really believe that Diefenbaker will be our last dog. Jesse is at college and our plans for our future will probably include time spent in a location that is not the best for dogs.

I have loved every moment of both dogs we have owned and I hope Dief is with us for a long time to come. I just know that there will be a time when owning a dog will no longer be appropriate.

I truly hope you can work something out. It's clear that any dog would be lucky to have you as its owner, protector, and freind.

BK

[Sandy]

Sandy. You need time with a real dog trainer. Not just someone who teaches obedience class (some of those are real dog trainers, some of those are just good at teaching obedience)
If you get the dog, Gloria needs to go to the trainer too. The way I see it, obedience class is not about teaching the dog, it's about teaching the owner how to direct the dog so the dog knows what the owner wants. Giving everyone a mode of communication. Dog training is about teaching the dog. The dog can be taught to ignore squirrels.
Unless you are always the master and what you say goes, squirrel or no squirrel? You're not ready for that sort of dog. What if he has the same issues with small children? You can't wait to see what issue comes up next and deal with it on a "after the fact" manner. I'm not referring to the breed itself here, I'm talking about any dog. You're either in control, or you're not.

Ginger, who lives in a black and white world when it comes to dogs.

I understand precisely what you are saying. I have never trained a dog, any dog, but I seem to be able to work with them quite well. I have weeks ago started to make inquiries and contacts with dog trainers and behaviorists. I have been with and spoken to a dog behaviorist/trainer/ pit rescue owner about King. I am far from naive about dogs and what they need and are capable of.

Let me give you a little about King's history- He was tied to a tree for a large portion of his life as we understand it. He has fears because of his limited exposure to the real world. I have ben visiting him and taking him out for walks. He went for a walk with a volunteer one day, and he became fearful of something, we assume,and from that point on he would not go very far from the parking lot at the shelter. I have been working with him. He needs a strong leader, that is for sure. At the same time he needs patience and understanding and pushing him too much too early may simply erode his confidence. I decided to go slowly with him and thought that his excellent ability in following a scent would in itself push him to expand his environment. That worked, as he started to follow scents more and started to expand where he would willingly walk. You would have to drag him otherwise. The last two days he went further than ever before. It had been quite clear to me that squirrels and little animals would be a real problem. A partial terrier breeding is part of his makeup if you read about the dog origin (considered by most to be true). Initially he was very bad on a leash. How could he be otherwise? He has made dramatic improvements. Very much so. I am going to work more with him more. I walk him 2 times a day, 7 days a week. I am totally aware that I must have control of him, even with squirrels. Way before he started the tremendous focus on squirrels (just the last two days) I knew that it would be a major problem. If I adopt him (I guess it won't happen) that will be one of my biggest concerns, as he is quite strong and determined when he sees one.

I realize that you must be in cotrol of the dog. Especially a pit bull. He and I have gone a long way with that.It is paramount. I know that. You should know that I know that. It is a main reason why dogs are given up at a shelter. Young cute puupy, but an out of control adult dog. If an application was put on King today, I would be working with him prior to his being adopted on his leash walking. He has improved greatley, and I am proud of him. He understands well. I am in the process of contacting two trainers who specialize in pits.

Yep - Control training is imperative. At this point I am saisfied with his progress. But a lot of work to be done.


Sandy

[Len J]

one other thought.

if you were to get a dog......my experience, based on what you have described, would be that you couldn't/shouldn't leave Gloria as the sole caregiver to this animal. I would suspect that the "Pack" heirarchy would be You, the Dog, and then Gloria and your B-I L, mainly because they will have no inkling or desire to assert and reinforce their position (Remember, this is easier to do when a dog is smaller...once they are almost full grown it becomes much harder) Having a dog in a dominant position relative to your wife is not a good thing........if that dog is as bull headed and powerful as a pitt and it's a recipe for disaster.

Think about you leaving the house with the dog roaming. Think about the pitt instinctually deciding to assert his dominant position. In the dog world, if the submissive, shows submissive behavior, everthing is all right, but what if Gloria doesn't know this, or recognize it and tries to be dominant? How will the Pitt react?

Also picture Gloria trying to walk the pitt......is she capable of controlling him...really controlling him?

Len

[Sandy]

one other thought.

if you were to get a dog......my experience, based on what you have described, would be that you couldn't/shouldn't leave Gloria as the sole caregiver to this animal. I would suspect that the "Pack" heirarchy would be You, the Dog, and then Gloria and your B-I L, mainly because they will have no inkling or desire to assert and reinforce their position (Remember, this is easier to do when a dog is smaller...once they are almost full grown it becomes much harder) Having a dog in a dominant position relative to your wife is not a good thing........if that dog is as bull headed and powerful as a pitt and it's a recipe for disaster.

Think about you leaving the house with the dog roaming. Think about the pitt instinctually deciding to assert his dominant position. In the dog world, if the submissive, shows submissive behavior, everthing is all right, but what if Gloria doesn't know this, or recognize it and tries to be dominant? How will the Pitt react?

Also picture Gloria trying to walk the pitt......is she capable of controlling him...really controlling him?

Len

I have thought intensely about all that before and it all is a major concern to me. My brother-in-law couldn't get a tiny chihuahua to come out of her crate to walk her.

Where the dog woul fit in the hierarchy is and was always on my mind. He would fit in with me quite well. With my wife and my brother-in-law how he would fit in is crucial. If I adopt him, a dog behaviorist will be already involved in the process. I would want the behaviorist to meet with the whole family prior to bringing the dog home, and would want a plan and have the dog behaviorist there when the dog arrivedat the house. He is really a loving and affectionate dog once he gets to know you.


Sandy

[RPS]

The breed is insignificant to her, although she does worry that a pit might chew up parts of the house. ....snipped...... The lab turned into a hunter stalker when outside and no way could Gloria handle him. ....snipped...... It would be a problem I would have to work on. His confidence has improved but he is difficult to handle once he becomes obssessed with a little critter. That would probably be my biggest initial problem with him other than my brother-in-law's fear of a pit. I would walk the dog 100 % of the time. Gloria could not handle him presently on a walk. She could not handle the lab. ....snipped......

A smaller breed would be much better for Gloria, but she doesn't want any dog, no matter the breed.


SandySandy, with all due respect, your own statements seem to confirm that the breed is not insignificant to her.
If she cares enough about her brother to let him live with you, she probably will never accept a dog that scares him. And I can relate to that 100 percent.
I've been around dogs my entire life and won't have anything to do with pit bulls. I gave in to my wife to keep Bailey, but there is no way I would have done so if he was a Pit. A family member close to me went through this recently and had to give the dog away after a year or so. He couldn't be controlled, was aggressive towards small children, and tried to kill neighbors' dogs.
I'd forget about adopting King and if I wanted a dog would give Gloria the option to pick one she wants.

[Smiley]

as has been said, marriage is a give and take. but that doesn't mean that every decision has to be mutual. sometimes, when the dissenting half realizes how important it is to the assenting half, a "sacrifice" is made. personally, i'd do two things: really really talk with gloria about why she feels the way she does and see if there is some underlying issue that can be addressed or resolved, thus paving the way for king to come home, and (or even, if necessary, but) push for your desire. sandy, please excuse me if this is peanut-gallery analysis but... you seem to have spent a good part of your life, like with the family meat business, trying to please others and putting your wishes second. within reason, put your wishes first. pushing for what you truly want, in an open honest way, isn't always being selfish. it's one route to happiness. love should be able to accommodate that.
Get the DOG and let them get used to him, King the dog is the BEST freaking meds you'll ever be on my friend. Get the DOG. Period, too bad you did not bond with a smaller dog though :)

[Len J]

He is really a loving and affectionate dog once he gets to know you.


Sandy

I'm sure he is.

Tough problem Sandy, but I don't see a solution that will be best for all three of you (You, Gloria & the Pitt).

Len

[Sandy]

Sandy, with all due respect, your own statements seem to confirm that the breed is not insignificant to her.
If she cares enough about her brother to let him live with you, she probably will never accept a dog that scares him. And I can relate to that 100 percent.
I've been around dogs my entire life and won't have anything to do with pit bulls. I gave in to my wife to keep Bailey, but there is no way I would have done so if he was a Pit. A family member close to me went through this recently and had to give the dog away after a year or so. He couldn't be controlled, was aggressive towards small children, and tried to kill neighbors' dogs.
I'd forget about adopting King and if I wanted a dog would give Gloria the option to pick one she wants.

Great points. Bottom line is that all of it may mean nothing, as she does not want any dog, period. A pit would bring special problems. I am ACUTELY aware of them.


Sandy

[Ray]

However, he seems to be hard wired to chase squirrels. It is a sight to see his remarkable focus.

A smaller breed would be much better for Gloria, but she doesn't want any dog, no matter the breed.
Dogs chase squirrels. Its what they do. Not a matter of size - we have a little 20 pound runt that is the nicest dog in the world. But chasing squirrels is the highlight of her day - she can't wait to go on walks so she can get after them. She wishes she could ride a bicycle so she could run over them or get them caught in her spokes. But she can't, so she chases them. She's slightly developmentally disabled - she's actually about 7 or 8, but she thinks she's still a puppy and acts like it too. Hasn't progressed along with her age group. Doesn't read very well at all. But she loves gettin' after those little gray animals.

If Gloria just absolutely, positively, doesn't want a dog, and won't consider it even after you make every bit of your case for how important it would be to you and the measures you could take to assure she wouldn't have to deal with the dog...... well, then, a dog just isn't gonna work out. Big or little. Hunter or gatherer or whatever. You owe it to yourself to make sure you've explored every possible avenue and, if she still won't budge, then it comes down to the wife or the dog and that's a pretty easy decision to make.

-Ray

[JohnS]

What!

Did I miss that memo!

Ahhh crap! :crap:
She did say she was only married for a short time...maybe that's why... :p

[JohnS]

Get the DOG and let them get used to him, King the dog is the BEST freaking meds you'll ever be on my friend. Get the DOG. Period, too bad you did not bond with a smaller dog though :)Smiley knows you better than anyone else here. Listen to him.
PS-You seem to be concerned with everyone's feelings and needs except for your own...just sayin'

[Ginger]

.

[malcolm]

Sandy, Gloria seems to have her own internal reasons for not wanting a dog and while I don't know her I do kinda of know you and I can't imagine you would want her uncomfortable in her own home in any way shape or form. Also you seem to do a great deal for many dogs in your current capacity as dog walker pound/kennel watcher. Maybe you could direct your efforts toward finding this particular fellow another caretaker and begin to include Gloria in your animal endeavors and who knows maybe she will overcome some of her reluctance and together you can bring someone furry home and I don't mean Kevan.

[bostondrunk]

Sandy,
You convince my wife to let me get a basset hound, and I'll convince yours to let you get the pit bull. :beer:

[bostondrunk]

Sandy, Gloria seems to have her own internal reasons for not wanting a dog .....

No worries Sandy....put her in a room with me, 2 quarts of tequila, a nerf bat, seasons 2 & 3 of "Three's Company" on DVD, and a signed Phil Ligget poster...........she'll give in.....nobody can take that kind of torture!! :D

[Lifelover]

Tell you wife to give you a 1 month trail period. If it is not working after a month you can do like Elaine DeGeneres and give the dog to me.

[swoop]

http://www.dogforums.com

[Sandy]

:) Dogs chase squirrels. Its what they do. Not a matter of size - we have a little 20 pound runt that is the nicest dog in the world. But chasing squirrels is the highlight of her day - she can't wait to go on walks so she can get after them. She wishes she could ride a bicycle so she could run over them or get them caught in her spokes. But she can't, so she chases them. She's slightly developmentally disabled - she's actually about 7 or 8, but she thinks she's still a puppy and acts like it too. Hasn't progressed along with her age group. Doesn't read very well at all. But she loves gettin' after those little gray animals.

If Gloria just absolutely, positively, doesn't want a dog, and won't consider it even after you make every bit of your case for how important it would be to you and the measures you could take to assure she wouldn't have to deal with the dog...... well, then, a dog just isn't gonna work out. Big or little. Hunter or gatherer or whatever. You owe it to yourself to make sure you've explored every possible avenue and, if she still won't budge, then it comes down to the wife or the dog and that's a pretty easy decision to make.

-Ray

I am not sure if I understand you. Are you saying shoot the wife and get two dogs?? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :) :)

Sharpshooter Shotgun Sandy

[Louis]

Find a good home for King, where he will be loved and appreciated by all.

Everyone gets what they want.

Louis

[Ray]

:)

I am not sure if I understand you. Are you saying shoot the wife and get two dogs?? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :) :)

Sharpshooter Shotgun Sandy
I just said it was an easy decision - I wouldn't even TRY to tell you which is the RIGHT decision. :cool: You'd be on your own there, senor.

-Ray

[Sandy]

I genuinely appreciate the replies. I have thought very intensely about everything that has been said here. I want to adopt the dog and give him a loving home. It would be a great responsibility, as he is a dog and that requires a lot of work, no matter the breed. The fact that he is a strong 60 pound pit makes the reponsibility even greater. I must give most serious consideration to my wife's perspective in making a decision. She does not want a dog and for many that should end it. My brother-in-law will not be involved in the decision making processs, but is involved relative to how the dog would fit in at home. I sincerely appreciate the comments by those who have clearly and precisely pointed out the negatives associatedwith owning King, and the possiblegenuine problems that could occur because of such. It might work out beautifully. It might fail miserably. The biggest drawback is simple. My wife does not want King, plain and simple. The problems of obedience, control, how he blends in the house, squirrels, ..., I am willing to undertake. I have been offered a lot of help on those issues and am able to find experts to could assist me. My heart would be in it as would be my brain, so I could make it work well, I believe, with a lot of hard work. King is a good dog and we are a great pair,....., but I may simply may not be able to influence a most important factor- my wife does not want him....

THANKS ALL. You have helped me greatly in the thinking process.


Sandy

[andy mac]

is your wife against a dog, or, a potentially dangerous dog like king?

if she is against a dog in general, why is that, when it would obviously bring you so much joy?

just trying to get to the root of it.

hey, big picture, with a war raging and people losing their homes etc, it's a nice 'problem' to have.


:beer: