Lonely this weekend?

[rwsaunders]

Here you go.

[shinomaster]

Where is the report spamming troll button?

[DarrenCT]

this is the low of the low imo

[Grant McLean]

you can't teach the important stuff...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zWmlVdfgNI&feature=related

-g

[Ti Designs]

I had to give up coaching cyclists, and I own a bunch of the two way radios with the little ear pieces, so I figured...

[Ginger]

Perhaps Your Friend can help?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4ZAaPYimfM

[Steve Hampsten]

206...that's a Seattle number!

Hmmm...

I have been thinking about getting coaching, but not that kind

[swoop]

i realized tonight in session with a patient that his girl was using her therapist's advice, and he my advice... and so that instead of them dating each other... what is happening is that the other therapist (thankfully a hot former coworker) and i are virtually dating through them.

good times.
:beer:

[Louis]

Comparing greater LA and the NYC region, I wonder which one has a larger % of it's affluent population in therapy. I'd guess that together they represent a disproportionate % of all Americans in therapy.

[dave thompson]

Date coaching isn't necessarily a far-fetched idea. People who have been out of the market for a while or have been married to a career often have no clue when it comes time to look for a significant other. How and where to find a quality person isn't information that is easily found.

Sometime ask me how I met my wife. ;) We've been married now almost 24 years.

[swoop]

Comparing greater LA and the NYC region, I wonder which one has a larger % of it's affluent population in therapy. I'd guess that together they represent a disproportionate % of all Americans in therapy.

this is just to set the context and not a critique.. its a good point you make...
to note... i worked full time for a year seeing up to 20 patients a week in a community clinic. that's a year sans income seeing the full spectrum of mental illness.... while writing a dissertation, finishing a doctoral degree and trying to make income however i could. some days i couldn't afford food. i year without income for the privilege of starting a practice from nothing.

in private practice i see more than half of my practice at a reduced fee.. and some of those at less than cost.

for every shrink that charges 250 for 45 minutes there are those of us that feel this skilset is something that gives us a responsibility to help. it is not a get rich career choice and simple answers never work.

that being said.. the successful outcome of therapy is largely do to 'patient factors'... and in terms of the hierarchy of needs... self-growth takes a back seat to making rent and feeding your kids... and therapy itself is frowned upon in many cultures.
as far as los angeles.... there are a ton of community non profits that provide low fee mental health care. there is literally a place for everyone that has the deisre to seek treatment... and in my practice i see the full range less psychotic spectrum disorders because they require case management rather than insight oriented work... its not in my skill set.

like most things.. what you expect to see and what actually is happening have less in common than you might imagine.

for instance, i find that often times the most affluent have the lowest tolerance for sitting in uncomfortable feelings because their income provides so many avenues of escape. one doesn't do therapy unless they're in pain and the machinations to avoid that pain are no longer functioning for them.


date coaching has nothing to do with therapy... its like putting spin class alongside road biking.

[Louis]

Swoop,

Of course it's a very serious issue and field. I was thinking of the "Woody Allen" type of patient, and rightly or wrongly, have always associated NYC and LA with that type of therapy. When you mentioned that both your patient and his SO were in therapy that set my mind wandering and wondering.

Louis

[swoop]

woody allen does psychoanalysis. true analysis is 5days a week. its the meivici of therapy. 5 days a week.... you schedule your life around the therapy.. its very esoteric and a special thing for a certain type of patient...

if you look at therapy in general... and look to things like pre martial counseling as well as the blossoming of autism spectrum disorders... there's a lot of folks that pass through treatment.

psychoanalysis is the domain of an extremely high functioning, very neurotic, driven and financially resourceful patient that has a healthy enough dose of narcissism that they are motivated enough to go there. its for big cities.

5 days a week at 250 each session and you're talking howard stern types... atmo.
...


as i write this i find myself thinking about small towns and school/mall shootings. therapy is such a blunt instrument.... the mental health system itself fails so many.

[CNY rider]

I see many patients that would benefit from working with a therapist. Whether short term cognitive therapy, or something in a different realm, the need is great even here in rural upstate NY.

The difference? We don't have anybody to provide services. Our psychiatrists spend all their time trying to keep a lid on the most mentally ill. We don't have therapists to respond to even short term needs of other patients.

It's a glaring deficiency (one of many unfortunately) in rural health care.

[ti_boi]

Interest thread.....veered into some fascinating territory....so the poor tend to suffer with their malady while the wealthier simply integrate it into their lifestyle....what about the "tough it out" school of thought that I am pretty sure I was brought up with. You know the 'quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something positive angle'.....?

[mike p]

I'm not sure why but this post made me think better of you.

Mike



this is just to set the context and not a critique.. its a good point you make...
to note... i worked full time for a year seeing up to 20 patients a week in a community clinic. that's a year sans income seeing the full spectrum of mental illness.... while writing a dissertation, finishing a doctoral degree and trying to make income however i could. some days i couldn't afford food. i year without income for the privilege of starting a practice from nothing.

in private practice i see more than half of my practice at a reduced fee.. and some of those at less than cost.

for every shrink that charges 250 for 45 minutes there are those of us that feel this skilset is something that gives us a responsibility to help. it is not a get rich career choice and simple answers never work.

that being said.. the successful outcome of therapy is largely do to 'patient factors'... and in terms of the hierarchy of needs... self-growth takes a back seat to making rent and feeding your kids... and therapy itself is frowned upon in many cultures.
as far as los angeles.... there are a ton of community non profits that provide low fee mental health care. there is literally a place for everyone that has the deisre to seek treatment... and in my practice i see the full range less psychotic spectrum disorders because they require case management rather than insight oriented work... its not in my skill set.

like most things.. what you expect to see and what actually is happening have less in common than you might imagine.

for instance, i find that often times the most affluent have the lowest tolerance for sitting in uncomfortable feelings because their income provides so many avenues of escape. one doesn't do therapy unless they're in pain and the machinations to avoid that pain are no longer functioning for them.


date coaching has nothing to do with therapy... its like putting spin class alongside road biking.

[swoop]

I see many patients that would benefit from working with a therapist. Whether short term cognitive therapy, or something in a different realm, the need is great even here in rural upstate NY.

The difference? We don't have anybody to provide services. Our psychiatrists spend all their time trying to keep a lid on the most mentally ill. We don't have therapists to respond to even short term needs of other patients.

It's a glaring deficiency (one of many unfortunately) in rural health care.

this is just really about money and community values. will you pay more taxes to subsidize healthcare in a place where you don't live? and like i said, therapy is a very blunt instrument. some folks do therapy online... and i think its possible that its good for that when no other option is possible. some of this is what makes rural living rural. by definition its more removed.

in terms of therapy.... i tend towards seeing folks for years and they tend to be motivated enough to come for years to do more than the cognitive work. its an enormous commitment to change neural pathways via relationship.
and then end result is that you don't feel better... that you feel more and can deal with the world without distorting reality. its a lot of work and few are up to the task and just get a little symptom reduction and get on with it. i don't blame them... that's not a bad way to go about it.

[swoop]

I'm not sure why but this post made me think better of you.

Mike

am i supposed to thank you? you may or may not like what you feel when you read some of the crap i write... but i'm not sure we know each other. have we met?
eagles fan? some of my best friends listen to phil collins.. you know.. and i like them for it. ok i have phil collins on my ipod.

rhetorical question. at what point did dudes stop treating each other like dudes? my guy friends all get it. we all relate to each other like a freaking topgear episode.. there's this gorgeous contempt in the love. piss is taken at every opportunity... and not only is it funny.. but it's good-old guy affection...
did i miss the great american wank off?
this is an internet bike forum and not a feel good about yourself forum.. take a piss. life is short. stevep gets it. lots of folks get it.
doesn't anyone see that folks are getting in a lather about bikes and bike materials.
half the world sleeps on dirt , malaria still kills more than aids, most folks basic needs aren't met...and we're passionate about bikes and defensive about bad music like it effing matters. i don't care if i'm 'liked' and either should you...
i do care that this forum is a good read. the other one's aren't.

jeez. oy. like me, don't like me.... who cares?

ok.. off to go to some base.

[Grant McLean]

this is an internet bike forum and not a feel good about yourself forum..

uh oh!

better shut down the custom bike gallery...

:)

-g

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . may look a bit tacky, I just keep in mind that when I got divorced, I had been married for ten years and had been consumed with my job for the 5 years before that--I did VERY little dating. So I had effectively been out of the dating scene for ten years--or fifteen if you had included the job time. I had absolutely no clue about where to meet women except in bars--which I hate. What to talk about? What not to talk about? Offer to pay for dinner? Several women acted angrily patronized by what I thought was just me trying to be nice and do the chivalrous things . . . Laugh if you will at me or the "coach", but this kind of service doesn't strike me as stupid.

BBD

[swoop]

what i've noticed in general is that folks feel disconnected and are hungry to feel nurtured and mothered. its something about this generation...

shows that do mothering seem to captivate... queer eye for the straight guy... there's a date coaching show, that tim gunn show where he helps you dress.

think about mom helping you pick your clothes and how that felt as a kid...

i think there's a lot of adults walking around longing to feel what they felt in childhood.. that someone out there knew more than them and could hold their hand and guide them and show them the way and then they wouldn't have to feel so alone and so they could feel special.

we live in a culture of now that celebrates individuation, individuality, and self-realization and the side-effect is that a lot of folks are walking around feeling uncared for and a bit like motherless children.

the truth is, once you're an adult, no one can abandon you... its really on you. but as a culture.... i see a lot of toddlers that are 30 years old. its the me generation coping with some less pleasant existential realities i suppose.

[Grant McLean]

what i've noticed in general is that folks feel disconnected and are hungry to feel nurtured and mothered. its something about this generation...

shows that do mothering seem to captivate... queer eye for the straight guy... there's a date coaching show, that tim gunn show where he helps you dress.

think about mom helping you pick your clothes and how that felt as a kid...

i think there's a lot of adults walking around longing to feel what they felt in childhood.. that someone out there knew more than them and could hold their hand and guide them and show them the way and then they wouldn't have to feel so alone and so they could feel special.

we live in a culture of now that celebrates individuation, individuality, and self-realization and the side-effect is that a lot of folks are walking around feeling uncared for and a bit like motherless children.

the truth is, once you're an adult, no one can abandon you... its really on you. but as a culture.... i see a lot of toddlers that are 30 years old. its the me generation coping with some less pleasant existential realities i suppose.

I hope you don't use that material on the first date...
:D
Where are you on the whole "guys are a project to fix" issue?


-g

[swoop]

I hope you don't use that material on the first date...
:D
Where are you on the whole "guys are a project to fix" issue?


-g

i let my assless chaps do the talking on the first date. it takes a real man to pull off fringe. on the second date i use my winning charm and for some reason.. i've never had a third date. that sucks because on date three i really want to talk about my vintage bar tape collection.
and then date four we smoke salvia. all the kids are doing it.
i'm a catch.

[Grant McLean]

Here's how my pal got his wife...

He was clearly the best bike salesperson at the shop. He only hung around
the nice mountain bikes (it was the 90's...) and we had a lot of female clients.
Let's just say that women interested in a Stumpjumper would get lots of attention.

He figured how far wrong could he go? A gal who was interested in getting
a good mtn bike, and wanted to learn more about where to ride, and get some
tips on the trails, he could prove his usefulness. It worked like a charm,
except the two kids really cut into his riding time now...

-g

[stevep]

this is just really about money and community values. will you pay more taxes to subsidize healthcare in a place where you don't live? and like i said, therapy is a very blunt instrument. some folks do therapy online... and i think its possible that its good for that when no other option is possible. some of this is what makes rural living rural. by definition its more removed.

in terms of therapy.... i tend towards seeing folks for years and they tend to be motivated enough to come for years to do more than the cognitive work. its an enormous commitment to change neural pathways via relationship.
and then end result is that you don't feel better... that you feel more and can deal with the world without distorting reality. its a lot of work and few are up to the task and just get a little symptom reduction and get on with it. i don't blame them... that's not a bad way to go about it.

aya jaysssus,
i just cracked.
i bought a meivici.
i cant pay you this month swoop..
i do have some collectible bike shiite that i'll send you though.
s

[Grant McLean]

aya jaysssus,

i cant pay you this month swoop..

s

can't you just print some FRN's ?
that's how i plan to buy you beers...

-g

[stevep]

can't you just print some FRN's ?
that's how i plan to buy you beers...

-g

just dont show up w/ those canadian dollars... you arrogant s.o.b.

[ti_boi]

what i've noticed in general is that folks feel disconnected and are hungry to feel nurtured and mothered. its something about this generation...

shows that do mothering seem to captivate... queer eye for the straight guy... there's a date coaching show, that tim gunn show where he helps you dress.

think about mom helping you pick your clothes and how that felt as a kid...

i think there's a lot of adults walking around longing to feel what they felt in childhood.. that someone out there knew more than them and could hold their hand and guide them and show them the way and then they wouldn't have to feel so alone and so they could feel special.

we live in a culture of now that celebrates individuation, individuality, and self-realization and the side-effect is that a lot of folks are walking around feeling uncared for and a bit like motherless children.

the truth is, once you're an adult, no one can abandon you... its really on you. but as a culture.... i see a lot of toddlers that are 30 years old. its the me generation coping with some less pleasant existential realities i suppose.


I just like big t*ts. Is that a problem?

[jerk]

I just like big t*ts. Is that a problem?


yes. just ask any psychoTHErapist. youe mother didn't nurse you enough and you probably like to hold hands too even though your palms are always clammy and sweaty.

interesting fact- in times of political conservatism big tits are in. in liberal times little tits are in. think about it.

jerk

[Grant McLean]

just dont show up w/ those canadian dollars... you arrogant s.o.b.

if it feels like i'm looking down on you,
it's only because i'm up north
(and you ride shimano...)

-g

[stevep]

if it feels like i'm looking down on you,
it's only because i'm up north
(and you ride shimano...)

-g

before shimano i used mavic ssc.
i liked that shiite actually. probably from 1987-93/4 or so. still got the bike. donated to crackpot mo's collection.
smooth, never needed anything from one year to the next..
awesome stuff.

last campy bike i had was probably around 1978-80.
was ok, it shifted about 1/2 as well as the suntour that was on $150 bikes...
but the sr crank looked the nuts i admit.

[Grant McLean]

before shimano i used mavic ssc.
i liked that shiite actually. probably from 1987-93/4 or so


me too! from about 89 to 94

it was the shiite (http://youtube.com/watch?v=sMZwZiU0kKs&feature=related)

-g