Sandy
10-27-2007, 12:26 PM
Forget Dave Kirk, Richard Sachs, Tom Kellogg, Ben Serotta, Kirk Pacenti, Zank,…, and all of those builders. They do a Superb job, but there is a new Sheriff in town… and his name is…..Sir Super Slick Sandy ….aka Sir Slick. Sir Slick intends to revolutionize the bicycle industry with innovative bicycles, unbeatable prices, amazingly short order to delivery times, unheard of warranties, unbelievable demand for his bicycle creations, and a payment plan unheard of in the bicycle industry or elsewhere.
The name of Sir Slick’s business entity is Sir Slick’s Shelter Sensations. A short history of the company: Sir Slick was at his local shelter observing some of the Shelter dogs. He noticed that certain groups of dogs excelled in specific dog related activities and loved to please Sir Slick. In addition, Sir Slick noticed that almost all the dogs would do almost anything for a few lousy biscuits- even stale ones. So the Super Slick, Sir Slick, thought for a moment and decided that he could take advantage of the dogs talents, natural desire to please human animals, love of biscuits, and the love zillions of human animals worldwide have for dogs, to launch an operation which would make Sir Slick lots and lots of $$$$$ and start him towards his real goal in life…..total domination of the world…..and elsewhere.
So what specifically did the Super Smart Super Slick Super Sick Super Simple Sir Slick Sandy come up with? Simple- Production of awesome bicycles at amazing prices that the world will love to purchase because the human animal fools will think that they are helping the Shelters when in fact they will be making Sir Slick lots and lots of $$$$$$.
Sir Slick first used dogs and cats to steal ideas from the aforementioned builders. Examples- Tom Kellogg’s dog Colby (loves cheese), Dave Kirk’s cats (what do you really expect from a cat?), and the red caped one- e-RICHIE’s squirrel (I mean adorable little dog or whatever that critter is). Sir Slick treated the dogs to biscuits under the clear understanding that he would get all the design, fit, and build ideas in there builder’s brains. It worked. In Spades. So the Slickster quickly learned how to fit, design, and build bikes.
What about the workforce? Where would his labor come from to compete cheaply? Yep, you are starting to catch on to the grand scheme- from the Shelters. Ever hear of the adage- He works for peanuts? Well the shelter dogs glady work for cheap dog food and a few stale biscuits….Think about it…..several million shelter dogs working, all at the same time, on building bikes for the Slick one….with almost no expense to the Slick one, except a few stale dog biscuits…no wonder the 5 business day order to delivery time for all bicycles, delivered anywhere in the world.
Delivery? Certainly not by UPS, FED EX, or Priority Mail. Nope. Way too Slow. The Slickster, Sir Slick, decided to use those aforementioned millions of Shelter dogs to make remarkably quick deliveries of the bikes that were designed and built in the USA in the Shelters found in so many cities and towns in the USA.
Pricing of bikes- Think about it- Sir Slick has almost no production costs. Just a few stale biscuits for the dogs. The Shelters pay for medical expenses for the dogs (vets) so there is no outrageous health insurance premiums to pay. No employee/production labor costs as the dogs are basically doing it for those biscuits and their desire to please human animals. No production facility costs as the Shelters are paid for and maintained by the local Government and contributions. No delivery costs as Shelter dogs love to go for walks, short or long, in all sorts of weather. Specific breeds excel in specific weather conditions. With almost no expenses, the Super Sick one decided to charge $100 over the cost of the materials for each bike. That gives him a profit of $99.13 per bike (Has to pay for the biscuits).
I could go on and describe more of the operation, but even you, not so smart human animal Serotta Forum posters and viewers, should be catching onto what is happening. There is a new kid on the block….a kid who is going to become very rich, in a very short time, producing the best bikes ever, at prices that no one can resist as they will be so cheap and because the Shelters are invoved. The human animals will be purchasing them because of the pricing and the human animals thinking that the money is going to go help the dogs (and other animals) at the shelters…but in reality they will be making Sir Super Slick Sandy lots and lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Additional info will shortly follow to explain what job responsibilities will be done by which dog breeds.
Are you ready to order one..or two...or.......?
Sir Slick's Shelter Sensations
Sir Super Slick Sandy
The name of Sir Slick’s business entity is Sir Slick’s Shelter Sensations. A short history of the company: Sir Slick was at his local shelter observing some of the Shelter dogs. He noticed that certain groups of dogs excelled in specific dog related activities and loved to please Sir Slick. In addition, Sir Slick noticed that almost all the dogs would do almost anything for a few lousy biscuits- even stale ones. So the Super Slick, Sir Slick, thought for a moment and decided that he could take advantage of the dogs talents, natural desire to please human animals, love of biscuits, and the love zillions of human animals worldwide have for dogs, to launch an operation which would make Sir Slick lots and lots of $$$$$ and start him towards his real goal in life…..total domination of the world…..and elsewhere.
So what specifically did the Super Smart Super Slick Super Sick Super Simple Sir Slick Sandy come up with? Simple- Production of awesome bicycles at amazing prices that the world will love to purchase because the human animal fools will think that they are helping the Shelters when in fact they will be making Sir Slick lots and lots of $$$$$$.
Sir Slick first used dogs and cats to steal ideas from the aforementioned builders. Examples- Tom Kellogg’s dog Colby (loves cheese), Dave Kirk’s cats (what do you really expect from a cat?), and the red caped one- e-RICHIE’s squirrel (I mean adorable little dog or whatever that critter is). Sir Slick treated the dogs to biscuits under the clear understanding that he would get all the design, fit, and build ideas in there builder’s brains. It worked. In Spades. So the Slickster quickly learned how to fit, design, and build bikes.
What about the workforce? Where would his labor come from to compete cheaply? Yep, you are starting to catch on to the grand scheme- from the Shelters. Ever hear of the adage- He works for peanuts? Well the shelter dogs glady work for cheap dog food and a few stale biscuits….Think about it…..several million shelter dogs working, all at the same time, on building bikes for the Slick one….with almost no expense to the Slick one, except a few stale dog biscuits…no wonder the 5 business day order to delivery time for all bicycles, delivered anywhere in the world.
Delivery? Certainly not by UPS, FED EX, or Priority Mail. Nope. Way too Slow. The Slickster, Sir Slick, decided to use those aforementioned millions of Shelter dogs to make remarkably quick deliveries of the bikes that were designed and built in the USA in the Shelters found in so many cities and towns in the USA.
Pricing of bikes- Think about it- Sir Slick has almost no production costs. Just a few stale biscuits for the dogs. The Shelters pay for medical expenses for the dogs (vets) so there is no outrageous health insurance premiums to pay. No employee/production labor costs as the dogs are basically doing it for those biscuits and their desire to please human animals. No production facility costs as the Shelters are paid for and maintained by the local Government and contributions. No delivery costs as Shelter dogs love to go for walks, short or long, in all sorts of weather. Specific breeds excel in specific weather conditions. With almost no expenses, the Super Sick one decided to charge $100 over the cost of the materials for each bike. That gives him a profit of $99.13 per bike (Has to pay for the biscuits).
I could go on and describe more of the operation, but even you, not so smart human animal Serotta Forum posters and viewers, should be catching onto what is happening. There is a new kid on the block….a kid who is going to become very rich, in a very short time, producing the best bikes ever, at prices that no one can resist as they will be so cheap and because the Shelters are invoved. The human animals will be purchasing them because of the pricing and the human animals thinking that the money is going to go help the dogs (and other animals) at the shelters…but in reality they will be making Sir Super Slick Sandy lots and lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Additional info will shortly follow to explain what job responsibilities will be done by which dog breeds.
Are you ready to order one..or two...or.......?
Sir Slick's Shelter Sensations
Sir Super Slick Sandy