Love The Ones That You Love

[Sandy]

Love the ones that you love. Treat them with kindness, warmth, sensitvity, compassion, and the realization that they may not always be with you.

I just received news about the passing of a friend with whom I have cycled a great amount in the past. He was only 54 years old, kept in excellent condition, and was an avid recreational cyclist. Unfortunately he recently developed late stage lyme disease. I do not know the precise reason for his death. He seemed to enjoy and share a wonderful marriage with his wife. They did a great deal of cycling and vacationing together. Their interaction always appeared full of respect,warmth, and genuine concern for each other. His wife must be devastated.

The two were a special pair and always looked out for others on group rides. If they finished a ride ahead of me,and I did not reach the ride start in a time that seemed reasonable to them, they always would get into his truck and come looking for me. Both he and his wife genuinely cared about other cyclists. He was a kind and friendly man, and I will miss him.

Just yesterday, I called him up to see how he was progressing with his lyme disease, and he did not answer the phone or return the call......You never know how long you or your loved ones will be here....so LOVE THE ONES THAT YOU LOVE....or one day you will realize that it is too late....


Sandy

[Len J]

Love the ones that you love. Treat them with kindness, warmth, sensitvity, compassion, and the realization that they may not always be with you.

I just received news about the passing of a friend with whom I have cycled a great amount in the past. He was only 54 years old, kept in excellent condition, and was an advid recreational cyclist. Unfortunately he recently developed late stage lime disease. I do not know the precise reason for his death. He seemed to enjoy and share a wonderful marriage with his wife. They did a great deal of cycling and vacationing together. Their interaction always appeared full of respect,warmth, and genuine concern for each other. His wife must be devastated.

The two were a special pair and always looked out for others on group rides. If they finished a ride ahead of me,and I did not reach the ride start in a time that seemed reasonable to them, they always would get into his truck and come looking for me. Both he and his wife genuinely cared about other cyclists. He was a kind and friendly man, and I will miss him.

Just yesterday, I called him up to see how he was progressing with his lime disease, and he did not answer the phone or return the call......You never know how long you or your loved ones will be here....so LOVE THE ONES THAT YOU LOVE....or one day you will realize that it is too late....


Sandy

Sorry for your loss......

Thanks for the reminder.

Len

[Fixed]

bro sick people have to think everyday might be the last ..last time to kiss the wife last time to hug the child last time to ride feel the wind on your face the freedom of being alive being able to ride is a gift we take for granted sometimes imho
cheers :beer:

[PBWrench]

Word.

John Lennon - Love

Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.

[Sandy]

bro sick people have to think everyday might be the last ..last time to kiss the wife last time to hug the child last time to ride feel the wind on your face the freedom of being alive being able to ride is a gift we take for granted sometimes imho
cheers :beer:

Absolutely true. We take it all for granted, especially if we are young. But, one never knows.


Sandy

[chakatrain]

...cuz you never know, right?

Although perhaps distilled via great sadness, sometimes, for me, the wisdom that comes after a great loss seems to be the wonderful silver lining, at least in my humble life.

Great reminder, Sandy.

[Sandy]

...cuz you never know, right?

Although perhaps distilled via great sadness, sometimes, for me, the wisdom that comes after a great loss seems to be the wonderful silver lining, at least in my humble life.

Great reminder, Sandy.

"...the wisdom that comes after a great loss seems to be the wonderful silver lining, at least in my humble life..." So beautifully said and so meaningful to me. This applies not just to loves in your life but also to friendships.

I recently lost a meaningful friendship,and in doing so, I gained a great deal of wisdom- about myself, the other person, and about people in general. I learned that I cannot have rigid expectations as to how people should act, I must always be sensitive to the aspirations, focus, agenda, and needs of others, even if that agenda is inconsistent with how I perceive people should act. We all have different perspectives, goals, experiences, stresses, time demands,.... I have learned that I am much too sensitive with people, especially cyclists and those that I care about. Trying repetitively to improve a relationship may only make it worse. There are times to simply back off and give it time. I learned a great deal about myelf, but lost someone who I considered a friend. Perhaps the "friendship" will start again in the future. I know that I will approach it with different expectations and with much better understanding of the other person, if ever given the chance. I am much wiser from the experience.

Thank you for your wisdom! You are a wise person.


Sometimes Simply Stupid Sandy

[Tailwinds]

I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing this reminder that we should all LOVE our loved ones.

[Kevan]

I'm sorry for you losing a pal. Pals are what makes one's day.

Regards,

Your pal

[Sandy]

I'm sorry for you losing a pal. Pals are what makes one's day.

Regards,

Your pal

Later today I am going to the viewing and tomorrow to the funeral. I really am concerned about his wife- a truly lovely woman, sweet, friendly, and caring. They were a wonderful pair. As I said previously, she must be devastated. I feel for her. She has no kids living with her and no pets and she lives a little away from the immediate busy DC area. It will be really difficult for her. You returned to your family. She will return to an empty house.



Sandy

[Fixed]

bro you are a good cat ..pain there is nothing anyone can do to make it better ..time dulls it a little maybe or you get use to it ..imho
I don't know

[Kevan]

One of the hardest things I had to do when my mom passed away was to help organize my dad's house and prepare him for being left on his own. Life goes on, as even he recognized, and on the day after her service everyone left to go home and attend to their lives and jobs. I stayed on one more day so it wasn't a grand exodus. It wasn't much help, but he appreciated it. I call him regularly and I've encouraged him to continue with his campaign for becoming a member of the town counsel. Not bad for an 83 yr old, eh? At this point the winning isn't important to me, rather it is the getting out, meeting people, pissing off his challengers, that I want him to enjoy.

Try to keep your pal's wife busy if you can. Invite her to join you and your wife for a simple dinner, or a walk, or movie. It's her friends' job now to step in and help fill in that hollow.

[Fixed]

bro alot of older people pass soon after their mates ..I don't think i could go on without my wife good advise from kev. imho

[Sandy]

One of the hardest things I had to do when my mom passed away was to help organize my dad's house and prepare him for being left on his own. Life goes on, as even he recognized, and on the day after her service everyone left to go home and attend to their lives and jobs. I stayed on one more day so it wasn't a grand exodus. It wasn't much help, but he appreciated it. I call him regularly and I've encouraged him to continue with his campaign for becoming a member of the town counsel. Not bad for an 83 yr old, eh? At this point the winning isn't important to me, rather it is the getting out, meeting people, pissing off his challengers, that I want him to enjoy.

Try to keep your pal's wife busy if you can. Invite her to join you and your wife for a simple dinner, or a walk, or movie. It's her friends' job now to step in and help fill in that hollow.

Great ideas. When things quiet down some for her, I am going to see if she wants to ride sometimes with myself or a group of us. She sometimes does club rides and maybe some of us who know her can share some rides with her. I think that would be meaningful to her. She and her husband started doing rides out in the Frederick, MD area, as he really did not like the congestion closer in to the city. I had not seen either of them for a while, as I was not cycling, as you know, and when I started back and contacted him, he had developed late stage lime disease which caused a serious cutback in his cycling.

I know that your dad has a dog that he really cares about, and that should help him a great deal to occupy his time. I know you and the rest of the family will check up on him.


Sandy

[djg]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Kahuna]

Sandy thanks for sharing the kind thoughts about your friend and the words of wisdom about cherishing your loved ones. We're all with you on this and wish your friend's family the best under these difficult circumstances. I'm curious, if you learn any more details about your friends passing, could you PM me? The reason I ask is that my cousin is the same age and also has Lymes disease that was diagnosed late. My dad had it, as well as 2 good friends when we were in our early 30s. I remember it really wiped them out, they had to take very potent anti-biotics long term, and it took a full year to get over. If there's anything that can be learned from this, it might be worth understanding. Aloha,

Kahuna

[Sandy]

I went to the viewing yesterday evening. My friend's wife said that at 6:00 (not sure if AM or PM), he was coughing and coughing and could not stop. She took him to the hospital. His blood pressure kept dropping and by 10:00 he had passed away. She didn't say anything more about it.

I will PM more to you about it if I find out more. My brother is a physician who has seen a great deal of lyme disease both in his neighborhood and in his practice. He did say that there are two very distinct groups relative to long term antibiotics useage for late stage lyme disease. One camp believes in it, and one does not. I know that my friend started with 2 weeks of the antibiotic of choice, prescribed by his regular physician,followed by 4 weeks, at least, additional, prescribed by an infectious disease doctor. I am still not sure of what precisely he passed away from.


Sandy




Sandy