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scrooge
07-08-2007, 02:46 PM
I got a kick out of this, you might too. From CNN's website (http://www.cnn.com/2007/TRAVEL/07/05/transalp.race/index.html)
____________________
By CNN's Barry Neild

LONDON, England (CNN) -- In a small town in Germany this month, 1,100 people dressed with complete disregard for fashion will climb aboard a fleet of finely tuned bicycles and begin riding south.


The TransAlp crosses four European countries and covers more than 600 kilometers.

1 of 3 Not content with a couple of hours in the saddle, most will continue pedaling high into the hills, then higher into the mountains and, eventually, higher still into the snow-capped peaks where even eagles don't dare.

In fact, if everything goes well, all 1,100 will keep on riding for eight days, traversing the entire Alpine mountain range through four European countries, covering roughly 600 kilometers (375 miles) climbing 19,500 meters (65,000 feet) and eating several times their own bodyweight in pasta and interesting regional cheeses.

Welcome to the Jeantex TransAlp, an annual mountain bike race whose claim of being one of the world's toughest is unlikely to be disputed by the riders who cross the finish line on the shores of Italy's Lake Garda to dunk battered backsides in cool waters amid hissing clouds of steam.

To assume only complete idiots would attempt such a journey is wrong. With $27,000 in prize money up for grabs, many are seasoned professionals whose bulging legs are more than a match for slopes so steep even the goats stay roped together.

The rest will be enthusiastic amateurs, competing just for the thrill of riding through some of the world's most spectacular scenery and the achievement of completing such a monumental voyage in one piece.

In all likelihood, there will only be one idiot at the starting line on July 14 in the Bavarian town of Mittenwald: A man who until six months ago had never sat astride a mountain bike, let alone ridden one up the equivalent of three Mount Everests wearing a pair of embarrassing Lycra shorts. Me.

I do like riding bicycles. I like riding them to the shop to buy a newspaper, then riding them home to read it, preferably in bed. In summer, I sometimes even ride my bike to work. Often, if the following summer is nice, I'll ride it home.

This has been a pleasant, if somewhat lazy state of affairs for a while, but with the long distance runner's fitness I enjoyed a couple of years ago fast fading to flab, it clearly needed some kind of shake-up.

When a friend last winter suggested joining him on the TransAlp, I initially scoffed at the idea.

That night I also scoffed a large and extremely fattening Indian meal and several glasses of beer. Noticing my fleshy and unhealthy face in a mirror shortly afterwards, I enthusiastically and perhaps rather drunkenly changed my mind.

In the cold, sober light of a December morning, this decision had unpleasant consequences. The first was financial: In London, to buy a bike capable of crossing the Alps, you face shelling out at least $2,000.

Then there's the weather. While summer in the Alps is usually dry and hot, winter in Britain is cold, wet and muddy. Whether due to global warming or just meteorological whimsy, this year's spring and summer in Britain have also been cold, wet and muddy.

Faced with these prospects, I nearly fell at the first hurdle and was only persuaded against abandoning the idea by the prospect of owning one of the gleaming new machines in Cycle Surgery, my local bike shop, and by the shop staff themselves who were extremely encouraging -- a fact I hope was not linked to the vast amount of money I was about to part with.

For gadget fiends, modern mountain bikes are, until they're covered in mud, delights to behold. Hi-tech disc brakes to stop in all weathers, splashy suspension systems that iron out the rocks and an arsenal of gears with which to battle the hills.

After drooling for hours over the various makes and models, I chose my weapon. For those who know about these things, it is a Specialized Stumpjumper Comp XC hardtail. For those who don't, it's a black bike with straight handlebars.

Luke, the knowledgeable cycle mechanic who helped me make my choice and managed not to laugh when he asked my weight to adjust the suspension, gave me ominous words of wisdom as I wobbled out of the door into a freezing shower of sleet.

"It's a tough race, but you can do it," he said, looking gleefully at the leaden sky. "But only if you start training right now."

I bought a paper on the way home, and went straight to bed.

billrick
07-09-2007, 04:43 PM
Thanks, I'll be curious to see how this guy does. Would love to do TransAlp as a "tour" but HECK NO to the race option! That is crazy.

This guy has some great photos of a trip that I think traces the Transalp race route:

http://www.transalp-mountainbiker.de/en-index.html

:)

gdw
07-09-2007, 05:22 PM
The odds are against him but I hope he trained hard and makes it.

billrick
07-10-2007, 04:00 PM
The next installment is up . . . this guy cracks me up, but I don't give him much of a chance. It sounds like he is following my training program, heavy on the pizza and excuses.

________________________________________

Training for the Tour de Fear

By CNN's Barry Neild

LONDON, England (CNN) -- With six months to train for Europe's toughest mountain bike race, it should have been a simple journey from trembling sack of flab to whittle-thin cycling machine. It wasn't

And just six days before I join 1,100 riders crossing the Alps from Germany to Italy, unless I resort to the kind of Tour de France hormone shots that risk extra nipple growth, I'm having serious doubts I'll survive the full eight days.

It's not that I haven't quite been exercising until my veins stand out like startled eels, or that I may have -- entirely by accident -- phoned up, ordered and paid for the delivery of several large and delicious pizzas. Although, if you're being picky, these could be issues.

Instead, like the whining unmotivated slob that I am, I intend to point the finger of blame solely at a series of technical misfortunes and the miserable weather that has left most of the British countryside off limits to snorkelers, let alone cyclists.

There has been some progress. Half a year ago, faced with the challenge of completing the Jeantex TransAlp, I decided to contact my brother Paul, a keen mountain biker whose level of fitness would shame a racehorse.

Paul took my TransAlp team mate Pete and I for a ride in the hills of the English Lake District. After the first five minutes of climbing, my waxen face was running with bullet-sized droplets of freezing sweat as accordion lungs played the songs of Jacques Brel.

At the first rest-point, Paul's portable heart monitor showed the pulse rate of a bored librarian. We didn't need technology to read mine, the loud pounding from inside my ribcage was visibly upsetting cattle in a nearby field.

On the plus side, Paul said I was a natural at handling the bike on the tricky downhill stretches. So that was the descents taken care of -- only the climb of roughly four times the height of Mount Kilimanjaro left to worry about. Read more about the TransAlp race

Over coming months I took my bike out for solo trips into the countryside. But if my fitness was improving, I couldn't tell since the mud was growing ever thicker, sucking at my tires and splattering me with so much soil I needed plowing.

I also joined "spin" classes at my local gym -- dungeon-based exercise regimes straight out of Greek mythology where unredeemed sinners must pedal stationary cycles for all eternity, or the duration of a Bonnie Tyler remix. Whichever ends first.

Then, as the weather briefly improved allowing me to finally stretch my legs, disaster struck as my Specialized Stumpjumper mountain bike -- less than four months old -- fell apart on a tricky corner, leaving me with a long, miserable trudge back to the cycle shop.

As the sun-burned fiercely for what may well be its only two week 2007 appearance in the UK, I was grounded as Specialized CSI teams tried to figure out what was wrong. Baffled, they issued me with a new, improved frame, just in time for the next lot of rain.

Eventually, I returned to the Lake District and repeated my original ride with Paul. This time there was no accordion accompaniment and I actually needed a heart monitor rather than a seismograph to measure my gratifyingly reduced pulse rate.

Despite this progress, I'm still having nightmares about the race. Actual physical nightmares where I'm riding my bike and the wheels start to crumble, my legs turn to rubber and my arms turn to, er, fish (that's dreams for you!).

Last minute encouragement comes from Kate Potter, a professional mountain biker who placed second in last year's TransAlp race and reassures me that the pressures at the front of the pack are the same facing those at the back -- apart from being overtaken, obviously.

"I go through so many different emotions.... fear, excitement, pain... but at the end no matter where I have finished I always feel this feeling of immense joy and satisfaction that I managed to get through the race," she says.

"I guess racing is not only a test against other competitors, but also yourself. If you have been slacking in your training then you will soon know about it."

I hate to tell Kate that I already know about the slacking, but armed with the masses of helpful advice she also supplied me with, plus my brother's encouragement and riding partner Pete's endless tips, I might just make it.

•Next report: Surviving (or not) the TransAlp

gdw
07-10-2007, 04:29 PM
I hope he at least survives for a couple more installments.