I'm an organ donor..what happens when I buy the farm?

[shinomaster]

Do I turn into this? http://www.bodiestheexhibition.com/
I figure it could happen when I'm 80 or tomorrow, who knows, my liver might give out?
My Oregon State ID says ORGAN DONOR. Not to be confused with Turkish Donner kebab.. What does that actually mean? Do they chop me up for every possible use? Do they make soup from my bones? Will there be anything left to bury, burn or mummify?
I have to admit I don't care for the sound of any of it. Part of me thinks I might need those organs for my after life, like the Egyptians. They didn't waste a thing. What if I wake up in heaven with a new Vanilla bicycle with no *** to sit on? How much fun will that be? I want to ride on the roads paved with gold. They will match my new gold Shamal Wheels. Does anyone know what being an organ doner means exactly?

xxoo

frightened shinomaster

[slowgoing]

Be not afraid.

http://www.ordonorprogram.org/facts_figures/guidelines_donation.html

[shinomaster]

So they wont just gut me like a carp?

[A.L.Breguet]

*

[Climb01742]

"buying the farm" has always struck me as an odd way to say croaking.

[Bruce K]

You mean as opposed to "getting your ticket punched"?

BK

[cs124]

You mean as opposed to "getting your ticket punched"?

BK

or "falling off the twig"?

[BBB]

or kicking the bucket...

[Climb01742]

or "falling off the twig"?

always dug how aussies say throwing up: hollering ruth. ('nother good one: driving the porcelan bus.)

back to death: "pushing up daisies" seems sweet.

come on, kids, what's your fav?

[keno]

taking a dirt nap

keno

[nick0137]

Brown bread

(cockney rhyming slang)

[Bruce K]

Not coming down for breakfast anymore

[Geoff]

for me its not when I bite it, but what happens when Im close to pushing up daisies and some one "needs" a kidney or some thing.

G

[Hardlyrob]

The Salvation Army refers to dying as being "promoted to glory." I like the sound of that - I could use a promotion.

[manet]

taking a dirt nap

keno

manure mattress

[2LeftCleats]

"assuming room temperature"

of course, the pre-death experience is referred to as "circling the drain"

[Archibald]

Steve Irwin'd

Bite the dust.

Belly up.

Tits up.

Deep six.

[Bud]

carc'n it
-or-
carking it

[Archibald]

always dug how aussies say throwing up: hollering ruth. ('nother good one: driving the porcelan bus.)
Kiwi: Feeding the chucks (chickens).

Praying to the porcelain god! (as opposed to "praying at the temple of the golden thigh.")

[physasst]

you'll get fileted open, but that's okay, you may save several lives.....To me that's worth it. I am listed as an organ donor, and then whatever is not usable, I want my body donated to medical science, if it can help some poor med student somewhere learn his anatomy to better help future patients, then it's worth it....I certainly won't be needing it. :beer:

[Archibald]

A customer enters a pet shop.

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

O: We're closin' for lunch.

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

O: There, he moved!

C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

O: No no! 'E's pining!

C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!

'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

C: I see. I see, I get the picture.

O: I got a slug.

(pause)

C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?

O: Nnnnot really.

C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.

C: Bolton, eh? Very well.

[sg8357]

So there are these three old guys sitting on the porch at the home.

First old guy, says, I want to go hit by a bus, quick and its over.

Second old guy says, I want to go in my sleep, peaceful like.

Third old guy says, I want to be shot by a jealous husband.

Da bum bump.

Scott G.

Organ Donor story,

Dr. F. Well whose brain did I put in the 12 foot high monster ?

Igor: Abby some one...

Dr. F. Abby who ??

Igor: Abby Normal.

Sounds of Dr. F. throttling Igor.

[Climb01742]

"assuming room temperature"

of course, the pre-death experience is referred to as "circling the drain"

+1
LOL

[rpm]

Not to get all serious or anything, but this is what happens to your donated organs:

http://www.transweb.org/webcast/usa2006/cycle1.htm

That would be me in the second row from the bottom, far left, in the Gerolsteiner jersey.

As for the rest of you, this is what happens:

[davids]

Not to get all serious or anything, but this is what happens to your donated organs:

http://www.transweb.org/webcast/usa2006/cycle1.htm

That would be me in the second row from the bottom, far left, in the Gerolsteiner jersey.
Thanks. That was a worthwhile perspective - Makes me glad I'm a donor!

[shinomaster]

taking a dirt nap

keno

+1

[Ken Robb]

A few years ago one of my pals drove for the pickup and delivery of organs from hospital to hospital. He was on-call with a pager. When the call came he jumped in his red BMW 2002 with the beer cooler in back and sliced and diced through traffic to get the parts delivered on time. No kidding.

[bcm119]

My guess is your liver will end up in Bodies The Exhibition. They are adding a new display showing healthy livers adjacent to those ravaged by years of Belgian beer consumption.

[Skrawny]

I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Ahhh, classic Monty Python!
---

I am certainly an organ donor. When it comes to that, I'm done with my body, might as well let someone else have a shot at my parts. I take care of many people who have gotten a donor organ & a new lease on life through someone else's tragedy. If I am fortunate enough to live long enough that I no longer have any usefull organs to give, I would be honored to have some med. students cut me up & marval at my innards. I know for a fact that the parts remain together and can be cremated afterward and returned to the family.

-s

[gasman]

..that nobody has mentioned. If you are an organ donor make sure to talk to your family about your wishes to be a donor. You will be in no position to discuss the matter once you are a donor and if your family objects to donation then it will not happen, end of story.
What organs are donated will depend a lot on your age, health status, mechanism of death and what organs are needed at a nearby transplant center (true for hearts,livers but less so for kidneys).
I've taken care of patients from both sides of a transpalnt. One donor can give help and life to many others.
Do it, there are many more potential recipients than there are donors.

[shinomaster]

My guess is your liver will end up in Bodies The Exhibition. They are adding a new display showing healthy livers adjacent to those ravaged by years of Belgian beer consumption.

I'm hoping there will be a new liver waiting for me in Heaven, along with the gold wheels.

[Tom]

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose

Repeat Chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my *** goodbye

Repeat Chorus

[keno]

you are now entitled to wear this, if I get your gist.

[Gothard]

If the system is run correcly, and you are healthy, they will take:

-lungs
-heart
-liver
-pancreas
-kidneys
-skin
-eyes
-bones

-there are some other less run programs that wil be interested in your intestines, spleen, cartilage...

Me? take all you want. I have seen enough people die because the family would not let their dead (who signed the paper) be taken apart.

[shinomaster]

you are now entitled to wear this, if I get your gist.


***????

[keno]

does Checking Into the Wooden Waldorf do anything for you, as a concept, of course?

keno

[catulle]

On to the land of the bold (translation.)

[sspielman]

How timely a topic....
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,249622,00.html

[shinomaster]

does Checking Into the Wooden Waldorf do anything for you, as a concept, of course?

keno

I love Waldorf salad. Those Chinese....they'll eat the strangest things.

[Fixed]

bro i'll take the B3 and a 122 please
cheers

[inGobwetrust]

The "Big Sleep" is one of my favs.

[stevep]

shino,
i just bought one of your kidneys on e-bay from obtuce.
i would like it here by the weekend so i can sell it to some rich guy.
thanks,
s
you shoulda read the whole thing you signed..including the back.

[Dekonick]

+1

*****************
Gothard beat me to it!
*****************
And not only 'organs' are used...

Skin for burn patients

Bone for hip replacements

you would be amazed at what is actually used.

Talk to your family - and get registered. A social worker friend (who works for MD's organ gathering folks...) tells me that the biggest gift is often back to the family of the donor - she still tears up when telling about a mother listening to her son's heart - in the receipient. In her words - "Powerful stuff"

There is even a short film about this - Sweedish I think...

I'll have to hunt down a link...

[stevep]

funny,
today i had to renew my license and i checked off the donor box.... kinda reminded me reading this thread.
hope i dont croak but if i do...someone can use the parts.
just hope they dont ride some campagnolo bike...with my legs or something.

[shinomaster]

funny,
today i had to renew my license and i checked off the donor box.... kinda reminded me reading this thread.
hope i dont croak but if i do...someone can use the parts.
just hope they dont ride some campagnolo bike...with my legs or something.

SteveP all they will want of you is your charming wit.

[Skrawny]

unfortunately wit is nontransferable...

-s

[shinomaster]

unfortunately wit is nontransferable...

-s

Exactly.