maybe my most OT ever: bidet toilet seat

[eddief]

just got back from one month of bike touring; two weeks in Slovenia and two weeks in Switzerland. So much to say about both trips...butt my group stayed in a hotel in Switzerland that had bidet toilet seats in the bathroom. As it turns out the company that makes the seats is a giant plumbing products company with HQ in the town of Rapperswil where we stayed. The hotel installed the seats to schmooze out of town employees of the company when they stay at the hotel.

i was reluctant to try the contraption but what the hell. a great invention and i want one for home base. it just makes sense.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19CdSt_-D4k

by the way, Slovenia cycling was grand and the Swiss bike path system is an infrastructure that blows the mind.

[Dekonick]

Convert here. Just keep the paper present - I view it as 'prep, shower, dry'... Funny OT... but seriously, to keep the 'taint from developing any abscesses, it must be clean.

For the win, before cycling, rub down with alcohol... it takes bacteria time to get numbers high enough to colonize, but compression makes it MUCH easier for them to do so. Best to start with a low bacteria count wherever your Lycra is in contact, especially those area's with pathogenic bacteria - like the 'taint. :)

Bidet after a ride even if you don't #2... then shower. Your lack of abscesses...

[verticaldoug]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ3BxJ4KGOc

That one seems a little primitive. You need to go high end Toto washlet from Japan. They have decades of experience.

The high end models have automatic open and close, night lights, some play ambient sound to disguise bodily noises. There is a reason 60% of Japanese men sit to pee.

[eddief]

don't need a side show just a clean machine.

i'd be willing to bet a high percentage of people who gave one a try would say they waited too long. nuf said.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ3BxJ4KGOc

That one seems a little primitive. You need to go high end Toto washlet from Japan. They have decades of experience.

The high end models have automatic open and close, night lights, some play ambient sound to disguise bodily noises. There is a reason 60% of Japanese men sit to pee.

[unterhausen]

You need to go high end Toto washlet from Japan. They have decades of experience.

The high end models have automatic open and close, night lights, some play ambient sound to disguise bodily noises. There is a reason 60% of Japanese men sit to pee.
I used one of the automatic Totos. Just amazing. I really like the auto close/open

[xnetter]

I tried a Tushy at my friends' place this summer. I liked it and have considered getting one. Definitely worth considering for the hairy-arsers like myself.

KJ

[vqdriver]

i find the most appreciated benefit is the seat warmer function. it also warms the water so it's not so shocking but the warm seat is key. will need power however.

these are nothing new to asians and europeans btw. tons and tons of choices

[eddief]

with a clean finish.

[Dekonick]

When you wash your car, bike, dishes... you don't use just a paper wipe... It takes a little more than a thin piece of paper to do justice... :butt:

[Spaghetti Legs]

I stayed at a friends place in Zurich a few years back. I dropped the kids off at the pool and then wondered, “what do all these buttons do?”. I pushed one or two and then the e ticket ride began! There were sprays, pulsation, warm water, cool water, a fan. I’ve rarely whooped, hollered, and laughed so much in a 45 second span in my life

[bikeridah]

When you wash your car, bike, dishes... you don't use just a paper wipe... It takes a little more than a thin piece of paper to do justice... :butt:

The better ones have air dry feature

[eddief]

would take too long.

The better ones have air dry feature

[Plum Hill]

Encountered one of these in a Swiss train station restaurant years ago. It even had a self cleaning seat.

[el cheapo]

The Swiss really take quality of life seriously. And it all starts by being clean. Of all the places that I spent time I really miss Switzerland.

[citycyclist247]

Nothing like a clean bottom. I went to Japan and the toilets there have a similar feature.

[gemship]

What a personal, offensive thing to be sharing around these parts but ok I'll play. I think it looks expensive to buy and expensive to fix. I also think it looks like it can make a mess with that shooting spray of water if it's not aimed right. I think if it really matters to you when your at home of course you could always clean yourself with a sponge after the paper wiping.

Really it seems like a luxury to have stuff like this at home but what about number two out in the wild?...but my toilet's better than yours he says to her. Oh yeah she says then go home if you like it so much.

[eddief]

dishwashers, clothes washers and dryers, garbage disposals, trash compactors, power washers for their patios, etc but still wipe their butts with paper in their hand. try one and get back to me. think i'm ready to do the infomercial.

What a personal, offensive thing to be sharing around these parts but ok I'll play. I think it looks expensive to buy and expensive to fix. I also think it looks like it can make a mess with that shooting spray of water if it's not aimed right. I think if it really matters to you when your at home of course you could always clean yourself with a sponge after the paper wiping.

Really it seems like a luxury to have stuff like this at home but what about number two out in the wild?...but my toilet's better than yours he says to her. Oh yeah she says then go home if you like it so much.

[gemship]

dishwashers, clothes washers and dryers, garbage disposals, trash compactors, power washers for their patios, etc but still wipe their butts with paper in their hand. try one and get back to me. think i'm ready to do the infomercial.

I know I hear ya but I live in a rural neighborhood with a septic system and a well. The well pump still runs strong after 30 somewhat odd years. It sucks to explain to the few folks that visit not to flush toilet paper as it's not good for the septic. Ironically I don't own any of the modern appliances you mention either for the fact that they are just too much a strain on the above mentioned systems and ultimately my wallet.

You sound ready to buy go for it because you you got it going on $$$$.

[SlowPokePete]

call me old fashioned, butt...

SPP

[Matthew]

Still trying to figure out why I clicked on this thread.

[miguel]

Slovenia’s fugn nice right?

Cremsnita is all I want

[eddief]

was the finest cycle touring I have ever done. and that includes tours in France, Spain, Switzerland, and Italy and a number of others in the US. Have to admit I did not taste the lovely dessert. But the cycling was truly great, the scenery mindblowing, the prices reasonable, the people super friendly, and Ljubljana the capital city a place to behold. I think still a hidden gem and not on the radar of most American vacationers.

Slovenia’s fugn nice right?

Cremsnita is all I want

[glepore]

Have had a brondell since a spinal cord injury in 2010. Luckily I no longer "need" it. Wouldn't not have one, even if just for the heated seat.

[veloduffer]

Nothing like a clean bottom. I went to Japan and the toilets there have a similar feature.

Same here. Those seats were awesome - heated, spray adjustment fore & aft, music....I think this could be a new Amazon device :banana:

[Hellgate]

Being a Samsung man, my ass is spoiled when I travel back to headquarters.


https://m.aliexpress.com/item/32623529179.html?trace=wwwdetail2mobilesitedetail1 697986081

Basic function: hip cleaning, cleaning lady, mobile massage cleaning, drying, damping and slow down. Seat heating, automatic deodorant, body induction, automatic cleaning nozzle, removable silver ion nozzle. ABS antibacterial resin. Low noise hydraulic pump memory, power saving function, a simple handling, the leakage is cut off. Toilet ring, water pressure, warm wind, warm water temperature regulation function.

[Louis]

Based on what I'm seeing here, I'd say that there are some societies out there with folks that have some serious potty-training hang ups that have lasted long into adulthood.

[EPOJoe]

Have a Toto here. Seemed odd at first but (butt) now I couldn’t live without one.

[Lanternrouge]

Don't yet get an employee discount? I know it's still expensive even if you do, but still. . . .

Being a Samsung man, my ass is spoiled when I travel back to headquarters.


https://m.aliexpress.com/item/32623529179.html?trace=wwwdetail2mobilesitedetail1 697986081

Basic function: hip cleaning, cleaning lady, mobile massage cleaning, drying, damping and slow down. Seat heating, automatic deodorant, body induction, automatic cleaning nozzle, removable silver ion nozzle. ABS antibacterial resin. Low noise hydraulic pump memory, power saving function, a simple handling, the leakage is cut off. Toilet ring, water pressure, warm wind, warm water temperature regulation function.

[Irishgirl]

Love love the toto - stayed at the JW Marriott in Mayfair London which had had a remote which made me giggle. Test driving all the buttons well let’s just say that was an experience.

Was recently in Jakarta and Penang...all toilets had a hand held nozzle including public places...there was no way I was touching a public toilet nozzle.

Stayed at the JW In Bali and was hoping for a deluxe toilet - and discovered JW toilets are not the same at all properties and my room had a basic spout. I wasn’t disappointed as the room/view/service was outstanding!

My neighbor just put in a fancy Toto toilet and I find myself offering to house sit even if she’s only going to the grocery store for milk so I can sit on her throne.

The heated seats,remote control, blow dryer, air freshener is really fancy. The basic water spout with warmed water may reduce toilet paper usage and wondering if that’s better environmentally than the regular low flow toilets.


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[OtayBW]

dishwashers, clothes washers and dryers, garbage disposals, trash compactors, power washers for their patios, etc but still wipe their butts with paper in their hand. try one and get back to me. think i'm ready to do the infomercial.All this talk, and unless I missed it, I haven't heard anyone describe the pleasures of a 'squat toilet' found in many countries (I've experienced them myself in Turkey and Qatar) where paper is often not supplied....[emoji15][emoji44][emoji33]

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[oldpotatoe]

Can just see the kiddies play bidet wars as they shoot it across the bathroom, giggling..:)

[cash05458]

def. has to be the most OT thread I have ever yet read...but thanks for sharing and being so open about how we all feel about our taints and b-hole comforts...let's have more of this! :banana:

[eddief]

have covered the gamut in past threads. this one is simply about a part some folks are squeamish about. simple truths will set you free.

[cash05458]

Nah Eddie...more power to you! and noone got into an argument and things didn't get shut down...impressive given the topic...surely we had to have had an ot on hemorrhoids before this I would imagine...the final frontier: favorite condoms and how come? :hello:

[steveoz]

ok I'll bite, do you replace the toilet with a bidet?

[zennmotion]

Toto (and other) spray toilet seats are a real treat- we installed one at my wife's request for a bidet, I time my poops to be at home whenever possible. Americans are famously naive and squeamish about cleaning. So look away now kids ("I don't know why I clicked on this thread"---Wimp!) Maybe you're the dude at (name your office or public restroom) that I seem to frequently encounter a couple of stalls away sharing a "moment" (errr. "movement" :cool:) who seems to need to frantically unspool half a roll repeatedly over several minutes because of some OCD need to wipe your sins away- reminds me of my cat who runs away from the box in a panic after the dirty deed like it's possessed. I've seen your shoes, I know who you are, and I know a little something about your psyche.

Most of the world's plumbing infrastructure can't handle giant wads of TP. In fact, if you travel much beyond western-style hotels and urban air-conditioned offices in most of the world, you will find a trash can where your used TP is to be placed. Or you find a hose and nozzle to wash your nethers. Or a plastic teapot-looking thing that will have you wondering at the great care that so many people in the world have for apparently watering houseplants. Use the water. Use your hand if you need to, it won't fall off and you can clean it (left only! You shake with your right hand and the right-shake origin myth about putting down your sword is a lie, people have always cleaned themselves with the left). Use the soap, if you're traveling carry your own soap, and a little bottle of hand sanitizer. It will all be OK, you'll be fine after a little practice.

Most of the world (and increasingly, much of the US as I've learned after moving to Cali) doesn't have adequate water supply to be able to sustain the toilet flush volumes needed to make giant wads of TP "disappear".

Racing stripes are a thing of the past if you wash properly. And yes, you have racing stripes, probably fairly often, don't lie. Although maybe Assos and Rapha are self-cleaning, I haven't tested. But wiping your taint with TP and putting your undies back on is a disgusting necessity when you can't wash properly.

My credentials, if challenged: lots and lots of developing country travel, and training (yes, a whole day of toilet-related training) as part of my Peace Corps/West Africa preparation where the toilets are holes in the ground covered with (maybe) a board and no TP- asking to re-fill the "salidaga" pot (always check volume before committing to the squat!) was one of the first language phrases memorized. Three years of that and my TP dependency was mercifully and permanently cured. Maybe TMI, but not really. I heard that even girls poop...

Now carry on...

[bcroslin]

I bought a Kohler Puretide recently and well, I love it. People can make fun but cleanliness is next to godliness. :banana:

[zennmotion]

ok I'll bite, do you replace the toilet with a bidet?

No, for a Toto-style thing you only need to replace the seat that has the pump and blower built in. But you might need to install an electrical outlet to plug it in if there's not one nearby. But replacing the toilet is also an option, and really not difficult (can you adjust rim brakes and front derailleur? that easy- youtube the instructions- a proper bidet isn't something you thought you needed until you try one)

[Matthew]

Ok, maybe I'm dumb but after getting wet don't you wipe anyway? Never used one of these obviously.

[zennmotion]

Ok, maybe I'm dumb but after getting wet don't you wipe anyway? Never used one of these obviously.

No need, you can savor the moment with a jet of air that, depending on the season and your preference, can feel like a warm Caribbean breeze or a cool alpine meadow.

[Matthew]

Doesn't the spray of water um, spray your "matter" around? I'd still feel like I'd have to wipe. Maybe it's great but I'll stick to ruining the planet with TP.

[eddief]

than a crack full of fecal with wads of paper. on average, how many squares do you use?

Ok, maybe I'm dumb but after getting wet don't you wipe anyway? Never used one of these obviously.

[Matthew]

No clue. Just enough to do the job I guess. This is weird. Think I'll stick to bike conversations.

[steveoz]

No, for a Toto-style thing you only need to replace the seat that has the pump and blower built in. But you might need to install an electrical outlet to plug it in if there's not one nearby. But replacing the toilet is also an option, and really not difficult (can you adjust rim brakes and front derailleur? that easy- youtube the instructions- a proper bidet isn't something you thought you needed until you try one)

Awesome -thanks for the info - but I'll have to disagree on one point - girls don't poop

[gavingould]

experienced them in travels across asia in recent years.

recent remodel of bathrooms at home here prompted install of two mid-level Toto units. wireless remote, heated seat, heated spray, self-cleaning bowl, air dry if desired, etc.
i use only a subset of features, but it's an elevated experience over taking a nature break at the office, i'll tell ya that much.

side note, at least on our model, it won't fire the waterworks if no one is seated. no errant sprays thus far.

[verticaldoug]

As long as we are discussing Sewer infrastructure, in London, these are the gigantic fatbergs

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/sep/12/total-monster-concrete-fatberg-blocks-london-sewage-system

The Museum of London put the White Chapel fatberg on display. I think Jack the Ripper might be inside there.

https://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/discover/putting-fatberg-display

[Black Dog]

Given some of our retrogrouchyness around here (I include myself at times) I am surprised that some are not sticking to the old stool ways.

https://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/application/files/4415/1136/1220/Z3450.jpg

[msplette]

No one has mentioned Seinfeld yet? Really just the first 50 seconds are relevant to the conversation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2ZID9M5_dU

[Irishgirl]

If you lose the toilet paper and hook up a garden hose you could have a “rugged bidet”https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191003/7fe03d554d6d9c373b7f9c4f36c31f4a.jpg


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[enr1co]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ3BxJ4KGOc

That one seems a little primitive. You need to go high end Toto washlet from Japan. They have decades of experience.

The high end models have automatic open and close, night lights, some play ambient sound to disguise bodily noises. There is a reason 60% of Japanese men sit to pee.

+1 on Toto Washlets! The water oscilatting and temp regulating features are a bonus. Yeah, TMI and laugh but im sure all those who have mentioned using one in Japan will agree! :). Costco sells some off brand version but Toto is the one to get- it’s the Dura Ace of washlets!
We will be doing a bathroom remodel shortly and will have a pwr outlet added by the existing toilet for one. Also, It basically pays for itself as the $ saved by less toilet paper consumption outpaces the minimal pwr and water used for operation.

[dgauthier]

(...) Also, It basically pays for itself as the $ saved by less toilet paper consumption outpaces the minimal pwr and water used for operation.

Our Toto S300e cost $850 from Home Depot. That's a lot of toilet paper!

I agree Toto is the one to get -- the OP's suggested Swiss unit is rather primitive by comparison.

Important note: women in general *love* these things. If you want to do something nice for your wife, definitely consider getting one.

[PQJ]

Y'all are full of sh1t.

That's all I got.

[2LeftCleats]

Years ago an acquaintance worked to develop a device to retrofit existing toilets. A possible name: Waterdik.

[KidWok]

We keep one of these in the bathroom. Fill it up with the warm-up water from the shower so that doesn't go to waste. This is primitive compared to those nice Toto seats, but it gets the job done. The long wand, angled tip, powerful stream, and adjustable spray (so you don't tear yourself a new one) works really well. Have been using them for over 10 years for this purpose.

https://us.solo.global/180-thickbox_default/454-v-handheld-sprayer-15-gallon-professional-w-inflation-valve.jpg

Tai

[saf-t]

My wife wanted a Toto Washlet as part of our bathroom remodel, to replace the bidet that came with the house (but was going away for a variety of reasons). I thought it was somewhat of a luxury, but in the interest of domestic harmony as well as the continuing ability for me to spend money on my assorted hobbies, happily agreed.

Didn't think at the time that I'd be saying this, but it's truly wonderful.

[eddief]

right.

[Irishgirl]

This seems like an interesting solution while traveling


https://hellotushy.com/products/tushy-travel-bidet


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[Spdntrxi]

BioBidet BB2000 :cool:

[2000m2]

I recently installed one of these and it’s great:
https://bidetking.com/alpha-one-non-electric-bidet-seat.html

Took less than 10 minutes. I tried one in Europe at a hotel once or twice, didn’t really like it. For whatever reason, this one we got is great. They had a sale going on a few weeks ago. No power needed, just uses the water line coming in to the toilet.

[d_douglas]

I used one of the automatic Totos. Just amazing. I really like the auto close/open

My buddy is the Toto sales rep - he said he’d get me anything I want for cheap :)

[rlanger]

Homeowner here in Japan. Can confirm, Japanese toilets are the best.

Even the average convenience store toilet is better (and probably cleaner too) than just about any toilet you might find in a North American home.

[tanghy]

TOTO for the win.. but the nice ones are expensive

[Spdntrxi]

My buddy is the Toto sales rep - he said he’d get me anything I want for cheap :)

go for the 550e then

[gavingould]

two Toto Aquia® IV WASHLET®+ S500e in the house.
nothing but smooth moves here... will be first upgrade when we move down to Austin in whatever house we get there.

[tuxbailey]

Paceline does not disappoint and I found this thread again. Just decided to get a bidet and ordered the Toto s350e (replaced by the s550e now, functionally not many differences but cheaper now.)

But first, I need to add a GFCI outlet near toilet (off the light switch.)